Chapter Nine:
February Eleventh
Hermione flopped down onto her bed with a groan. Snape's potions were doing little to prevent her suddenly consistent headaches. She had just gone to see Dumbledore about it, and he told her that increased severity of the headaches was to be expected. He had promised to tell Snape to start making a stronger potion. Until Snape contacted her about the new remedy, Hermione was left to writhe in pain.
"What's the matter, Hermione? Still recovering from New Years?" Ginny asked, grinning. Hermione took a break from wincing in pain to smile at the memory of being with Draco in Hogsmeade. It had been such a magical evening. She couldn't believe that a week had passed since then.
"It's just a headache, Gin. Nothing to worry about."
"But I am worried about you, Hermione. You've been complaining about headaches a lot this week. Is everything okay?" Hermione closed her eyes in a juvenile attempt to stop the pain.
"I think I'm just under a lot of stress."
"Why? Midterm exams are over."
"Yes, but I have N.E.W.T.S. at the end of the year."
"Hermione, it's only January. You have plenty of time to start reviewing for the June N.E.W.T.S.," Ginny pointed out. Hermione's eyes began tearing from the excruciating pain in her head. She tried to comfort herself by thinking about how much she was helping the Order by keeping their plots inside of her. She could very well be the reason why Voldemort could be defeated and sent to his grave for good.
"You know me, Ginny. I always want to get a jump on the studying bit."
"All right," Ginny sighed skeptically. "Just don't hurt yourself over it, that's all I'm saying. N.E.W.T.S. aren't worth sacrificing you health. Hermione nodded in response, unable to speak. Ginny left the dormitory, leaving Hermione to suffer alone. It was what she preferred though. She would rather be alone and in pain than have someone breathing down her neck and asking all sorts of questions. She was getting tired of lying to everyone. Especially Draco. It killed her to lie to Draco. And she knew that he knew she was lying, but he didn't ask questions. He just looked at her like he was troubled and remained completely silent. To Hermione, that was worse than having him confront her about it. He always looked disappointed when she lied, as though he had expected better of her. Ironically, as Hermione thought about Draco, Poseidon started tapping on the windowpane. Hermione recognized Draco's black owl and went over to the window, stumbling to keep her balance. Her head felt ten times heavier than usual. Poseidon nipped at her finger affectionately as she took the letter from his leg. Hermione scratched the owl's head gently and sat down to read the letter.
Hermione,
I know you haven't been feeling well lately, and for that I'm sorry. It's probably from the sledding we did in that skimpy red dress of yours. No matter what the reason, I would like to help you get better. If you would like to meet me for dinner in the study room tonight, please send a letter back with Poseidon to let me know. I'll understand also if you just want to turn in early, but I really miss you and I want to see you. I love you.
All Yours,
Draco
Hermione smiled and quickly wrote a response to meet Draco for dinner. Suddenly, her day was looking up. Another owl flew into the dormitory as Hermione was letting Poseidon back out. It was one of the brown school owls.
Hermione,
The extra strength headache potion is ready. You can come down to my office to get it when ever you are ready.
Professor Snape
Hermione breathed a sigh of relief. Finally she would get a break from the pain. She quickly stepped into a pair of flip flops and hurried out of the Gryffindor common room. She only paused once to say hello to Dean, whom she had broken up with yesterday. He had agreed that it would be better for the both of them, but he asked if they could still have lunch some time as friends. Hermione had seen it as a nice gesture and approved. She hoped Draco wouldn't be too jealous. Hermione was so excited to be getting the new headache remedy, she was practically running down the halls. She burst into Snape's office, startling the professor.
"I didn't expect you so soon, Ms. Granger," He said, picking up the book he had dropped in surprise. Hermione took a moment to catch her breath.
"I came as soon as I got your letter. I thought I might die in another hour without a remedy." Snape gave her a small smile; it was better than the ugly smirks he usually handed out.
"This should take care of the headaches. Be sure to let me know immediately if you feel like they might get any worse. That way I can modify the potion ahead of time."
"Of course," Hermione replied, taking the thermos from Snape. She quickly poured herself the correct amount and downed it. Immediately, the shockwaves of pain began to dull and dissipate. She exhaled loudly and smiled at Snape.
"Thank you so much, professor," She thanked him graciously. Snape shook his head.
"Thank you, Ms. Granger. You're doing an excellent job." Hermione nodded to him and left the office. As she walked aimlessly down the corridors, she paused at a window to look at the grounds. They were covered in snow, and it was still coming down from the gray sky. She smiled faintly as she thought about the sledding she and Draco had done on New Years Eve.
"We keep bumping into each other down here," Draco's voice suddenly came from behind her. She turned around quickly, hitting him in the face with her long ponytail.
"Oops. Sorry, Draco," She apologized, laughing. Draco rolled his eyes.
"I can take a hint," He grumbled and started walking away. Hermione grabbed his arm and pulled him towards her.
"I'm sorry," She whispered, then kissed him softly. Draco leaned against the wall and looked out the window, as Hermione had done moments ago.
"I keep thinking about New Years," He admitted.
"Me too," Hermione responded. Draco grinned.
"At least I'm not the only one. It was just too incredible to forget. I called it, too. I said it was going to be the most memorable night of our lives." Hermione paused for a moment, thinking about asking a question that might make for an extremely awkward atmosphere. Finally, she decided she might as well.
"When you said that it was going to be the most memorable night of our lives, did you know that you were going to take me to the Hogsmeade Hotel and seduce me into having sex with you?" As she had imagined, a strange silence fell over the pair. Draco continued staring out the window, organizing his thoughts so he wouldn't sound like a bastard when it finally came out of his mouth.
"Hermione, I've wanted to have sex with you for the longest time. But I could tell you weren't ready. For some reason, I felt like you were finally going to be ready on New Years Eve. Maybe the whole party made you get high on life or something and it clouded your judgment, but I think you knew what you were doing."
"I did, Draco. I knew what I wanted," Hermione encouraged him.
"So I hope I didn't make it sound like that was my entire reason for going to Hogsmeade with you, because it wasn't."
"I know, Draco. You don't have to explain yourself to me. I understand." Hermione stopped him and planted a gentle kiss on his lips. Draco sighed and pulled her into a hug. There was a disgusting feeling in his stomach that reminded him of what was to come the following month. He had been ordered by the most powerful wizard in the entire world to bring Hermione or bring her secrets. Draco knew he could do neither. He had finally come to terms with the fact that he was going to be killed for his disrespect and inability to follow orders.
"I'm going to grab some lunch with Harry and Ron. I promised them I would," Hermione said, pulling away from Draco, who nodded.
"I'll see you later, then."
"Yeah. Later," Hermione agreed. Draco watched her leave and had the inexplicable urge to stop her and warn her of what was to come. Even as the thought passed through his mind, a prickling sensation on his palm began. He looked at his hand angrily. The only thing that stood between him telling Hermione all about the gruesome scheme that was to occur the very next month was the secrecy burn on his palm. It burned when ever Draco came close to revealing anything that had to do with the plot. He had done some research and discovered that the burning could even result in death. He would certainly be willing to risk his life in order to warn Hermione of what was going to happen, but he knew that he would barely be able to get two words out before the curse killed him.
Draco headed back to the Slytherin dungeons sullenly. Thinking about February always depressed him, even if he had the knowledge that he would be spending time with Hermione later on. As he entered the common room, Clara pounced on him.
"Draco! Can we please talk?" She asked, clinging onto his arm like a leech. Draco tried to shake her off while giving her a cold glare.
"No."
"Please? I just want to know why you dumped me. I thought everything was working out okay." Draco groaned. Women, he thought angrily to himself.
"You're not my type," He finally responded, lamely. Clara's eyes welled up with tears.
"Of course I'm your type! I know what kind of guy you are, Draco! You have needs that should be met when ever you feel necessary. I can give that to you!" Clara protested, desperately. Draco was immediately nauseated. Girls who were ready to rip off their clothes for him made him sick. He appreciated challenges, but that was the price he had to pay for being a Slytherin sex god. Draco managed to free himself from her vice-like grip.
"I'm sorry it didn't work out, Clara. Go peddle your goods elsewhere," He snapped. Clara gasped and stared at him with wide eyes. Draco turned on his heel and hurried to his room. He slammed the door and almost screamed out loud when he saw his father standing there waiting for him.
"Hello, Draco," Lucius said smoothly. Draco started to head for the door when Lucius locked it from across the room.
"Sit," Lucius ordered. Draco sat down in an armchair and maintained a hard stare at his father.
"What now, Father?" He asked, wanting to get the meeting over with.
"I came to deliver the details of the plan. Are you gaining the mudblood's trust as you were instructed to?" Draco winced at his father's cruel language. He paused and thought about what he should answer. He finally decided that it would be better if Lucius thought that the plan was going as scheduled so there wouldn't be any interference.
"Yes."
'Good. Has she revealed to you the secrets of the Order?"
"No, sir."
"I daresay our Lord expected her to. That is why I have been instructed to tell you that you are to bring the mudblood to Malfoy Manor on February 11 at six o'clock sharp. After the success, you will be accepted into our little society of Death Eaters." Draco's heart was pounding rapidly in his chest. He didn't want to be a Death Eater. Not anymore.
"I will do as you say, Father," Draco replied, finding it prudent to agree with everything Lucius said. Lucius seemed pleased and nodded.
"Good, Draco. I shall be seeing you on February 11, then. Do not be late."
"I won't be, Father." Lucius nodded and suddenly morphed into the ugly white spider. Draco watched it scuttle away underneath the door. He thought momentarily about stepping on it and squashing it, but it was too rash of an action. Draco unlocked the door and went to lie down on his bed. He was hours away from meeting Hermione, and really needed her now. He needed to see her, completely safe and unharmed. It would set his restless soul at ease. Draco began to think of loop holes. There had to be a way to warn Hermione without getting burned to death by his secrecy mark. He didn't know what key words would set it off. He headed off to the library to do more research on the principles of secrecy marks. Time was running out.
Draco held Hermione tightly in his arms; her naked body pressed up against his. The light from the fire illuminated the thin coat of sweat on his brow. It was past midnight, and they would both be in serious trouble if they were found. But that was what made having sex in the study room more thrilling. Hermione took several minutes to catch her breath before kissing Draco on the cheek.
"We can't keep doing this, Draco. Ginny is starting to ask questions," She whispered.
"Just tell her that you've been doing late night studying and you get up really early," Draco replied, running his fingers aimlessly through her chocolate brown curls. Hermione sighed.
"I've been using that excuse for the past couple of weeks. She's starting to find it difficult to believe. She's not stupid, Draco." Draco didn't want to admit that they should start cutting down on the nights they came to the study room. Even Crabbe and Goyle were starting to become suspicious, and they never pick up on anything.
"I know, I know."
"Maybe we should limit ourselves to once a week," Hermione suggested, half-heartedly. Draco sat up quickly and stared.
"Just once?" He asked in disbelief. Hermione shrugged and smiled.
"I don't want it to be that way either, but I'm getting tired of lying to all my friends about where I keep running off to."
"Maybe if I had friends to lie to, I might know how you feel," Draco mumbled bitterly. It was true that he didn't have very many friends. When he was younger and far more immature, Draco had the crazy idea that he didn't need friends to make his life meaningful. As long as he was respected and looked up to, it didn't matter if anyone liked him. Be feared, not loved was Machiavellian motto. All that seemed to change when he met Hermione.
"Doesn't Pansy like to keep tabs on you?"
"Eh. She's kind of afraid of me ever since I threatened her that night." Draco smiled faintly at the memory. Hermione sighed.
"You really should work on controlling your temper."
"Look, you don't know Pansy. You have to be sharp with her, or else she won't get the point." Hermione didn't look convinced. Draco laid back down and pulled her on top of him. He looked up into her beautiful brown eyes and was immediately lost in their radiance.
"Can't we meet twice a week?"
"Draco-"
"Come on. One just for dinner, and the other could be just for dessert." He grinned at her and winked. Hermione smiled back and kissed his forehead.
"I suppose that could be arranged," She finally agreed. Draco brushed a curl out of her face with a gentle finger.
"Good." Hermione rested her head on Draco's chest and closed her eyes. He wrapped his arms around her and stared into the flickering flames of the fire. February 11th was approaching rapidly. Too rapidly for Draco's taste. Every time he even thought about trying to talk to Hermione about it, his palm seared with pain. He could barely even think about warning her, and time was running out. Every night he spent with her was more precious than the last. He savored the time he spent with her, since he knew February 11th would change everything for good. He would make sure that he spent February 10th and every hour up until six o'clock of February 11th with Hermione. He'd do something special for her. Take her out to the fancy restaurant in Hogsmeade or something. Anything to make his last days meaningful. Sighing, Draco pushed these depressing thoughts from his mind. He was going to force himself to think only about Hermione for the next two weeks. Not that it was much of a challenge, but he made a promise to himself that he would not think of Voldemort's evil scheme anymore. After all, what's the use of spending his final two weeks with Hermione if his mind was elsewhere the entire time?
"Draco...is something wrong?" Hermione whispered, suddenly.
"No. Why?" Draco lied carefully.
"You've been very distracted lately. I know something's bothering you, but I just can't figure out what it is," Hermione continued. Draco sighed deeply.
"It's nothing important," He lied again. He hated himself for lying, but it wasn't like he had much of a choice.
"It must be if you're so distracted that you've forgotten I'm lying naked on top of you."
"I didn't forget."
"Then why haven't you started seducing me again?" Hermione countered. Draco paused. She had him there. He usually seduced Hermione into making love more than once. But he had been distracted.
"You seemed tired," Draco replied, wincing at his lame excuse.
"I understand that you don't want to talk about it, Draco. I just wish you wouldn't lie to me," She replied softly. Draco frowned. He hated being sent on a guilt trip.
"It's not like you always talk about what's on your mind," Draco muttered without thinking.
"That's different, Draco," Hermione responded quietly.
"How? You're allowed to lie and I'm not?"
"That's not what I meant-"
"Then what did you mean, Hermione? I'm confused." Hermione bit her lip to keep from crying. She wanted to tell him everything. She really did. But she had made the most sincere promise to Dumbledore, and she had every intention of keeping it.
"I made a very important promise to someone, Draco. I can't tell you what's on my mind," Hermione said, choosing her words carefully.
"And what makes you think that I didn't make a promise to keep a secret either?" Draco demanded. He didn't know where his harsh words were coming from. All he knew was that he was spitting them out, and Hermione was hearing them. Hermione's heart stopped when Draco said something about keeping secrets. Does he know? Hermione thought, frantically. But he couldn't! After all, there is no way for him to find out...I think...
"I don't know! I just assumed that-"
"Don't assume next time." A tear dripped from Hermione's eyes onto Draco's bare chest. The minute the tear hit his skin, Draco regretted every last word he said. Hermione moved to get away from Draco, but he reached out and grabbed her arm.
"Hermione, I'm sorry. I truly am. Please don't go," He pleaded with her. Hermione paused and looked down into his eyes.
"For a minute there, you sounded like the old Draco Malfoy I knew and hated."
"I'm sorry, love. I'm not that immature bastard anymore. I've changed, you know that right?" Hermione hesitated for a moment, but offered him a small smile.
"I know. And you know that I would tell you absolutely everything if I could, right?"
"I know, sweet heart. I know," Draco replied, sweeping her into his arms. "I love you." Hermione tried to hold back her tears, but a few escaped her eyes and trickled onto Draco's bare shoulder. He hated himself for making her cry; he had been a bastard. She deserved better.
"So where are you going this weekend?" Hermione asked, taking a bite of her dinner roll. Draco sighed and swallowed the lump in the back of his throat.
"To the manor. My mother wants to see me about something," Draco hedged carefully. Hermione looked at him for a moment, but did not question. She assumed that it had to do with his secret, and she didn't want to pry.
"Will you be gone long?" Hermione asked casually. Her question sliced through Draco's heart and brought tears to his eyes. He blinked them away quickly, before she had the opportunity to see them. Would he be gone long? He'd be gone forever.
"I'm not sure. Mother said it was urgent."
"Was there a death in the family or something?" Hermione asked, trying not to invade his privacy too much. Draco shuddered, but managed to pass it off as a shrug. There will be a death in the family, he thought bitterly.
"Maybe. She didn't give me too many details."
"Will you owl me when you get there?"
"I'll try, Hermione," He promised earnestly. If he could have a spare moment, he would most certainly write to her. To tell her good bye. As February 11th drew closer, Draco found it hard to keep the vow he had made to himself a week or so ago. He could not stop thinking about what would become of Hermione if he were to be killed. Would Voldemort still go after her? If he did, who would protect her and warn her? Or perhaps his death would make Hermione want to give up her responsibility as the Secret Keeper. He couldn't predict what would happen to Hermione, and it made him uneasy. He needed to be sure that she would be all right after he was gone.
Hermione noticed the far off look Draco got in his eyes. He had been distant very frequently over the past few days. His thoughts were elsewhere, and she wasn't sure what to do about it. Something was obviously bothering him, but he refused to talk about it. She could understand his concealment since she was doing some secret keeping herself, but she felt like Draco's secret was putting him in danger. She felt like there was something threatening him and he didn't want her to know about it. Unfortunately, Hermione was beginning to realize that the only thing she could do for him was be supportive and be there for him. Cautiously, she reached across the table and took his hand. He was dragged away from his possessive thoughts as he stared into Hermione's eyes.
"Are you all right, Draco? I know I ask you this all the time, but you're beginning to scare me." Draco sighed.
"It'll pass, Hermione. Just give it time."
"Are you sure? Can I do anything to help?"
"Just don't worry yourself over it, all right?" Hermione wanted to protest and argue, but there was something in his beautiful blue gaze that forced her to nod in agreement.
"Okay," She promised. Draco offered a small smile.
"But there is one thing you can do." His mind was beginning to forget all about the approaching eleventh day of February as he lost himself in her eyes.
"What?" Hermione asked, curiously. After weeks of watching him struggle alone, Hermione was relieved to hear that she could be of some assistance.
"Keep your schedule clear for Thursday and Friday of this week."
"Why?"
"I am spending Thursday entirely with you. Well, as soon as classes are over anyway. I'm going to have the house elves prepare a special feast for us, followed by a particularly delicious dessert," Draco replied, grinning. Hermione smiled.
"Why are you doing this for me?"
"Does there have to be an occasion?" Hermione gripped his hand tightly and smiled even more widely at him.
"You're wonderful, Draco."
"Just give me your word. You devote yourself entirely to me for Thursday and Friday until I leave." Draco began to feel the pressures of the scheme closing back around him. They relinquished their grasp on his thoughts the moment Hermione leaned across the table to kiss him.
"I'm yours on Thursday and Friday," She promised with a smile. Draco returned the smile and concentrated on everything he loved about her. The way the firelight played off of her brown curls and lit up her chocolate eyes. How a sprinkling of freckles dotted her nose and cheeks in a sexy sort of way. When she was nervous and started chewing her bottom lip. The blush that filled her cheeks when she said something stupid or embarrassing. The childlike innocence that overcame her when they were about to make love. It was everything about her that made Draco fall head over heels for Hermione Granger. And even though he knew that he wouldn't be able to see her ever again after he left for the manor, he still found an overwhelming happiness in his heart for all the time they had spent together. He knew he'd be able to die completely at peace since he had achieved the true meaning of life. To love and be loved in return.
It was Friday night. Draco and Hermione were lying on the couch together in complete silence. Draco had one hour left with his one true love. He didn't know how to savor it. Should he spend the entire hour telling her how much she meant to him? Or should he spend the time making love to her and proving how much he loved her and would always love her? Hermione seemed to sense his perplexity.
"Draco?"
"Mmhm?"
"Why are you so upset? It's not like you're leaving me forever." Tears immediately came to Draco's eyes, and he furiously blinked them away.
"You never know," He replied, distantly. Hermione frowned and shifted to look into his eyes.
"What are you talking about?"
"Nothing really. I'm just saying that anything could happen at anytime." Hermione seemed unsatisfied, but remained silent. Draco thought about telling her that he'd never be coming back. That didn't have anything to do with the plan, so he could potentially give her the heads up. But looking into her eyes, he knew he couldn't bear to see her reaction. She'd be heartbroken, and that was something Draco couldn't deal with. Besides, it would only make the evening that much more awkward. Draco finally decided what he wanted to do with his remaining hour. He sat up and wordlessly positioned himself so that he could sit directly across from Hermione and stare directly into her eyes. He took her hands in his and sighed.
"Hermione, I want to tell you exactly how I feel about you. I know I've told you how much I love you, but I don't think you truly understand how much. My entire soul goes into it when I tell you that I love you. Every cell of my being feels it. I can even pinpoint the exact day when I said to myself, 'Draco, you're in love with Hermione Granger'. It was after that stupid paper fight when we got stuck in the study room and you were lying on top of me. That was the first time I ever felt something passionate towards you. It surprised me, and it scared me. But mostly it scared me. Here I was, this Slytherin pureblood prince, with horrible morals and extremely strict principles. There was no way I, a pureblood wizard, would ever give you, a muggle born Gryffindor, the time of day.
Of course, everything got turned around and messed up after that paper fight. And then the kiss. Let's not even get into how confused that got me. I was totally unprepared for the emotional battle that occurred afterwards. I couldn't deny it to myself any longer. I was in love with you, and I had to accept it. Once I accepted it, I had to have you. It didn't matter anymore that we were worlds apart. I needed to have you. So I set off on the mission to win you over."
"And it worked," Hermione pointed out, smiling. Tears were gathering in her eyes from all the sentimental emotions whirring around inside her heart. Everything he was saying to her was so sincere and heart felt. No one had ever spoken to her that way before.
"Thank god. I'm not used to defeat," Draco admitted. "Anyway, you were and still are amazing, Hermione. You just continue to make me speechless every time I see you. And somehow, you keep getting more beautiful. I don't know what it is, but you're more gorgeous every time I see you. I have never felt this way about anyone before. I think that line is really cliche, but it's the only way to give my feelings justice. I've had a lot of girlfriends before you, but I've never felt so alive. You bring something out of me that no one else can. You get to see the Draco Malfoy that no one else sees because you can bring something special out of me. I want to thank you for that."
"Anytime, Draco," Hermione replied, squeezing his hand. Draco reached over and brushed a brown curl out of her chocolate eyes.
"What I've been trying to say here, is that I love you, Hermione. I have never meant something so much in my entire life. I love you, and I always will. No matter what happens to us in the future. My love for you will never go away," Draco promised her. Hermione was rendered speechless for a few moments before she smiled.
"I love you too, Draco. I will always love you," She replied. Draco leaned forward and kissed her passionately. He pushed her gently onto her back and eased himself down on top of her. Within the one hour Draco had left to spend with Hermione, he had given the best of both worlds. He had poured out his heart to Hermione in words, and then intimately described his undying love as they had sex. It was going to be the last time he could ever kiss her and hold her. He tried not to cry as he redressed and prepared to travel by Floo Powder to the manor. He almost made it tear-free when he saw Hermione's tearstained face. It broke his heart. As he stepped out of the fireplace in the manor, a tear slid down his cheek.