Chapter Six

"My Lord? May I have a word?"

Raoul, startled out of his day dream which featured him, Kel and a field of daisies nodded to Dom. "Of course."

"It's a private matter sir, so if you don't mind..."

"Right. Well, come on." Raoul beckoned. He had been on his way to his office anyway. Once inside Raoul sat behind his desk, leaning back in his chair. Trying to appear nonchalant- he had a pretty good idea what this was about- Raoul asked, "What's on your mind, sergeant?"

"I think you know." Dom paced restlessly, then came to a halt. "It's Kel, sir. She... well, I wish I could wish you two happiness, I really truly do. But I don't think you can give her what she needs."

"And that would be...?" Raoul didn't like where this conversation was going, but he had known Dom would confront him sooner or later.

"She needs a lover. You're a father to her, to all of us." He shook his head, clearly trying to gather his thoughts.

Raoul remained silent, trying he best to ignore the truth of Dom's words. If Kel didn't want him she wouldn't be with him, and that was the end of it.

"I can see you two care about each other, don't get me wrong. I actually thought you were a good match, at first. But really, how long do you think it will last? You're getting old, Raoul, there's no escaping it. You may not even live to see your first child emerge from The Chamber. And despite all your careful little plans," Dom's badly concealed glare washed over Raoul. "People will talk, Kel won't be able to show her face at court and everyone will doubt her worthiness of her shield. Do you want to do that to her?" Dom's eyes bore directly into Raoul's. "Do you?"

Raoul struggled not to fidget under his gaze. "I appreciate you're concern, Dom, but Kel is a grown woman, she knows the consequences of her actions. She has accepted them."

"She'll be ruined!" Dom shouted, exasperated. "When she's in love, she's blind to everyone else. She thinks it'll all be fine, but the conservatives will say that she cheated and that girls still shouldn't be knights. It's not just her that will be ruined, it will be any girl who wants her shield."

He was right. He was right and they both knew it. Raoul took a deep breath. "I'll talk to her." He finally said. "But I'm not going to break her heart over it. She chose me and not you, and you'll just have to accept it."

"Is that what you think this is about? Look, she's a great girl and I'd take her in a second, but she's my friend and I don't want to see her get hurt."

"Neither do I." Raoul said grimly, slowly getting to his feet. "So what do you want me to do about it? Tell her I can't go through with it? I love her."

"I know." Dom said. "Thank you for your time." He left abruptly, closing the door behind him.

Raoul sank back into his chair, head in his hands. Dom was right, curse him. Everything he said was true. He should break it off, it would be the right thing to do, but the thought of hurting Kel like that was unbearable. What would happen if he didn't was just as bad, if not worse. At least if he left her she would still have her honour and her shield.

Raoul's head was spinning. He wanted nothing more than to crawl into bed, but if he went back to his rooms he was sure to see Kel. Raoul didn't think he could face her just yet. He had to figure out a way to broach the subject, to relate his concerns to her without driving her away. Was that even possible?

Slumping further into his chair he tried desperately to clear his mind. Finally he got up and headed to his room. If Kel showed up he would just have to talk to her.

As he rounded the corner he heard a voice that he never wanted to listen to again. Dom was standing in front of his door, talking heatedly with Kel.

"Dom, haven't you done enough prying today?" Raoul growled.

Dom jumped to face Raoul, then brushed past him without a word.

Raoul unlocked his rooms, making a mental note to have a key made for Kel. He stepped inside and she followed.

"Did he talk to you too?" Kel asked listlessly. "I'm sorry, I tried to tell him..." She shook her head, taking Raoul's hands in hers.

"He's does have a point." Raoul admitted begrudgingly, leaning his forehead against Kel's. "About a lot of things."

"What? Are you on his side now?" She backed away from him. "You think we should break it off?"

"No! No, Kel, I don't. I just want to make sure you've thought this through. I'm sorry," Raoul stepped forwards, resting his hands on Kel's shoulders. "I just couldn't stand it if you were unhappy. For any reason." He stroked her hair, then her cheek. His fingertips slid gently over her skin to cup her face. He kissed her, softly and with all the tenderness he could muster. When he pulled away Raoul saw that Kel's mask had completely fallen away, leaving a scared young woman behind.

"I know what they'll say." She said slowly. "And I keep telling myself that it isn't worth risking everything, but then..." She waved her hand uselessly in his direction. "I see your face, or kiss you and I can't imagine not having you. I..." Kel dropped her eyes. "Can we leave? Can we just go away for a while? Please?"

"Of course." He whispered, kissing her cheeks. "Why don't you start packing. I'll make a show with Buri and then we can leave."

"In the morning." She said, wrapping her arms around him.

"Of course." Raoul stroked her back. "Where do you want to go?"

"It doesn't matter." Her voice was muffled.

"How about Goldenlake? We could make it there before the roads got too bad, then we could stay there all winter."

She nodded, then pulled her face away from Raoul's chest so she could look up at him. "What about the Own? You can't just take off for the winter."

"Yes, I can. We have the winter off, remember?"

"Right." Kel said, burying her face against him once again. After a moment she pulled away again, but this time it was so she could kiss Raoul.

She clung on him tightly, her kiss desperate. Raoul could do nothing but kiss her back, try to reassure her. As soon as he talked to Buri he would take Kel to the nearest temple of the Goddess, marry her, and bring her home and away from prying eyes

"FINE! You're stupid anyway!"

"Well you have bad breath in the morning!"

"You have bad breath all the time!"

Raoul tried to suppress a grin. He hadn't had this much fun with Buri since that time she spent the night in his tent. "At least I bathe occasionally."

"Occasionally being the keyword. You know what you're problem is? You're boring. Would it kill you to party a little every now and then?"

By this time a large crowd of people had gathered, pretending not to be listening intently to the argument.

"Maybe I would if they weren't so boring. You think I'm boring? Fine, go find someone more to your tastes." Raoul growled. Enough people has seen them, they didn't have to carry on for any longer. As much as he enjoyed fighting with his best friend, they had been at it for an hour. At first no one had taken notice of them but as soon as they started insulting each other's personal hygiene a crowd had formed in no time.

"You know what? Maybe I will."

"Fine."

"Fine."

"I'll come by later to get my stuff."

"If I don't burn it first."

Raoul and Buri glared at each other, then stalked away. Raoul headed to his rooms and started packing. He wasn't surprised when Alanna showed up.

"What was that about?" She demanded. She didn't need to tell him what 'that' was.

"We had a fight."

"In the middle of the market?"

"Yes," Raoul didn't really want to lie to his friend- mostly because she'd kill him when she found out. Then again he wasn't sure if Kel would want him to share their secret.

"I heard you had a 'no you're stupid' fight for ten minutes before moving on to... what was it? Complain about each others breath?"

"Er... yes?" Raoul looked down. When she said it that way of course it sounded stupid.

Alanna sighed and sat down on Raoul's trunk. "What's going on?"

"I'm going to Goldenlake for the winter." Raoul said.

"I don't mean that. You've been all mysterious lately. And sleeping in really late." Alanna frowned. "And I know about the whole thing you and Buri have. I suggested it to her, remember?"

"Oh yeah. Right. Well, er, you see..."

"Have you found yourself another woman?"

Raoul nodded uncomfortably.

"Who is she?"

"She wants to keep it a secret." Raoul muttered.

Alanna rolled her eyes. "I can keep a secret, in case you haven't forgotten I pretended to be a boy for most of my young life."

She did have a point there. "Kel," Raoul said.

"What?"

"I'm with Kel, and we're getting married and spending the winter at Goldenlake. Happy?"

"I thought she was with that sergeant... Domitan, or something like that."

"She was pretending to be with Dom, but he wasn't taking it well. Now if you'll excuse me I want to finish packing."

"You know her reputation will be-"

"I know! She knows, everyone knows. We've taken pains to try to avoid the worse of it. You see, we're marrying each other because we're sick of everyone else. That's what we're telling people and I think they'll mostly believe it."

"I was just saying." Alanna got up. "I guess I shouldn't mention that you're about a million years older than her too."

"Out!" Raoul nudged her towards the door.

"Fine," She grumbled. "Don't come crying to me when she starts calling you grandpa." Alanna paused at the doorway and looked back. "I suppose I don't need to say this, but if you hurt her I will personally kill you."

"How sweet of you. Now if you'll excuse me?"

Alanna nodded and left.

Raoul finished his packing. He didn't have everything by any means, but he would have the rest sent along later. Hoisting his bags Raoul headed for the stables. His horses were ready and waiting and he quickly strapped his luggage onto the pack horse. When all was ready he mounted up and rode into Corus to a small temple to the Goddess on an out-of-the-way street. Two horses were already tied there- a brown mare covered in packs and a mean looking strawberry roan. Raoul tied his horses nearby and went inside.

Kel looked up from her conversation with the priestess when Raoul entered. He squeezed her hand, then followed the priestess's instructions and stood by the alter.

Raoul had never been to such a brief wedding. He and Kel quickly said their vows and the priestess deemed them married. It took longer for her to fill out the marriage certificate than it did for the actual ceremony.

Within an hour Kel and Raoul were on the road. They waited until they were outside of the city before talking.

"How do you feel?" Raoul said. He would have liked to touch her, maybe give her a quick peck, but she was riding Peachblossom. He had probably refused to be reduced to a pack pony so Kel had to ride him and leave her bags on the more even-tempered Hoshi.

"I don't know," She said, staring straight ahead. "Relieved, I guess. Did you get into much trouble for leaving?"

"You mean with Jon?" Raoul shook his head. "Not really. He was in the middle of an argument with Thayet- I think another one of their daughters wants to enter page training."

"He'd better let her this time." Kel fiddled with her reigns. "You don't think I'll hurt her chances, do you?"

Raoul didn't know what to say to that so he said the first reassuring thing that popped into his mind. "No, she'll be fine. By the time everyone figures out what's going on she'll probably already have started."

"That's true."

After that they rode in silence. There wasn't much left to say. With the long road stretching out before them there wasn't any rush. That evening they made love slowly, not worried about being seen or heard.