The Day That The SGC Went MAD!
Sorry I've taken so long to post this, Real Life has been pretty hectic right now, and it doesn't help that teachers keep reminding me that its only five more weeks till the trials for the HSC and two of those weeks are school holidays, not to mention the fact that erm… I wasted too much time in school for the past year and a half.
I guess this chpt is just further testimony to my inability to do school work, seeing as my first day home sick in about 3 years and I spend it writing this, but hey. A girl's got to have priorities right?
Disclaimer: Yes well… if I owned this would I demoralize characters in this way? Most likely yes… but that's not the point.
(Voice over) Christopher Judge: Previously on The Day That The SGC Went MAD!
After the correct protocol length of a pause he continued with an imperceptible nod of his head,
"Major Carter is in trouble".
(Voice over) Christopher Judge: And now for the conclusion ...(well next bit anyway)
"Hey, that was an insult!" Jack said, as if he hadn't even heard the significant information that Thor had just imparted with, in fact he had heard, but he had taken the pause to process what Thor had said earlier. He was only now beginning to process what Thor had said about Carter.
"I do not understand O'Neill, how is Major Carter's being in trouble an insult to you?"
"Not that, That" Jack said as if it explained everything to the little grey alien.
And then it clicked, Major Carter, his precious 2IC that he couldn't live with out was in trouble. She couldn't be in trouble they were meant to live through this war, then retire, marry, have 2.5 kids and a dog. Or just a dog, it was still good that way. But back to the matter at hand….
"Who, What, When, Where, Why" it was all he could think of, the conditioned kindergarten behaviour of trying to find information. Although some could argue that he never progressed from a kindergarten's mentality either.
To Thor it was as if Jack had begun to speak in tongues, or rather maybe his tongue was just getting in the way. Either way the result was not coherent speech.
Thor instantly remembered he had a date with the man who lived in a shack and was the shadow behind the galactic presidents which the insightful alien, who posed as a human, Douglas Adam wrote about. The bundle of vague sensory perceptions you see only was the ruler of a small stretch of the universe and had to be taken where he could meet the other shadow's to discuss the happenings of the next few millennia.
Thor fiddled around with something on his wrist and the familiar white light engulfed Jack, to transport him back to earth.
For the third time that morning Jack found himself flat on his face, legs still in the air damn it.
"Thor!" he screamed out to the empty elevator, "Couldn't you have at least fixed that buddy!"
A sudden feeling as if he was run over by a herd of pink elephants (And neither he, nor the author was drunk), escalated his pain threshold almost to breaking point before it lessened it hold over him. Still, with it his knees gave way and he could finally get up properly.
"Appreciate it mate" he called out again to the empty elevator sarcastically, praying to god he wouldn't have to go through that again, there had to be less painful methods out there right? Cause he sure as hell wasn't going through that again. And he should know that hell exists, or rather had existed, because he'd been there.
Damn stupid gou'uld's who claimed themselves to be 'good', why'd they ruin a good thing, that place had lots going for it. Even if the tokra couldn't see it he had and that's what counted.
A constant warm temperature all year round so his knees would never seize up on him again and not to mention the unique molten lava wall deco which kept transforming the walls so you couldn't get bored with the old. Brought a whole new meaning to 'out with the old and in with the new', if only he was the cliché kinda guy, he could have so fun with that particular saying.
There was of cause the minor draw back of the persistent sulphur smell, and little rebelling men with weapons everywhere, but he could get past that. There was however no need to blow the place up, and while he was still on it too, that was simply uncalled for.
Still without meaning to Jack had just spent an hour (in an unused elevator) pondering the previous existence of Hell aka Netu before he remembered that Thor had said Carter was in trouble. Finally resolving to go and help Carter outa her fix (Oh the irony) he went to press the strangely florescent button to go to her lab, the best place he could think of to start. Instead he was transported into the Sg1 change room's where he found a prostrate and crying Daniel on the floor, in conjunction with a Cater (in his Simpson's boxers) applying cover-up on a Teal'c who had an unidentifiable lump of indescribable size below his lip.
However instead of finding this strange, or unusual in any way, shape or form, he simply broke down and joined Daniel crying on the floor. Having seen Carter within his Simpson's boxers had brought home two undeniable facts. One; that he could never wake up and see Carter in his boxers (or less for that matter) and two (the more important one) he could never watch the Simpson's again. He continued to weep in self pity, over how cruel life was to remind him of both the things he couldn't have.
A/N what an opportune moment for someone to walk in don't you think… the question is will they? Find out next time when The Day That The SGC Went Mad continues. I know, I know too much POTC. But hey, Depp is so good to watch, you have to admit it, go the walk!
Go on review, you know you want too.
Anyways a big thanks to:
Smartbraty2, Badass37000 and Nicnok; I'm glad that you all find it funny, I was somewhat depressed when one of my friends said they didn't get any of it. Thanks so much for reviewing, they always make me smile.
melpomene-muse of tragedy: Wow, I actually did write something the right way for once, do you mind telling my English teachers that lol. Thanks so much for your review, and I have to agree, I love seeing them all in these situations too.
Hiya: to be honest I had thought of that, but I'm not sure if I'm going to put that in, or simply leave it with Thor noticing her distress and sneaking around. And as for what Janet did to Cassie, it's a need to know basis lol… or in other words I might think something up and put it in at the end.
Equinox-SGC: To be honest I used to hate HP with a passion and being made to study the first book in year eight only added fuel to the fire. And now I'm addicted, not with anything in particular though, I just love the idea of a secret world and I can't wait until the 16th of July when half blood prince comes out lol. Once again thanks for your review, its nice when it's the same person coming back. Good luck with the society and culture report.
Oh and just a mention to the 163 people who read do you remember…. Please it would be nice if you reviewed, I know that it was me being delusional but hey… its always nice to hear things even if its critical.