I am so sorry about the delay! I know I say that every chapter but this time it's really bad. But I am going to try to get chapter 6 out before the week is over (sometime before next Wednesday), so don't fear! Without further ado, here it is: Twas Five Weeks, Chap. 5!
It had been a looong day at the hospital. From stubbed toes to toes stuck in lawn-mowers (And this was winter. It was one for the Darwin Awards.), everything came up. Elizabeth was about to go home, when she was shoved out of the doorway by a short woman with curly rust-coloured hair and gross pink makeup. She ran to Frank and slammed her white gloved hands on the desk delicately.
"I'm looking for Bobby Romano! I got a telegram that he was hurt! In my beach house! In Florida! It was expensive! Where is he?" she cried. Frank stared dumbly at her.
"Do you mean Robert? Robert Romano?"
"Oh good, you know him. Where can I find him?" she asked.
"Relation?"
"I'm his MOTHER!"
Everyone who knew Romano was silent. They could finally hear the patients whining.
"I have the (hic) hiccups!"
"Ah gat mah tunge in da toasta!"
"Ohhh Noooo!"
"That man shoved me! He's getting away! Stop him!"
Sam finally broke the silence. "You mean he HAD one? Shoot, Pratt, I owe you fifty bucks!"
Mrs. Romano ignored this comment. She stared intensely at Frank. He took out a Kleenex and wiped his sweaty forehead.
"I'm afraid, he uh…had an accident."
"But he wore Good Nights as a child! It can't have come back!"
Elizabeth muffled a giggle. Frank stared at her.
"Uh, no, I mean, uh, yes, um, he is a bit….squished."
"FRANK!" Elizabeth cried.
"DEAD! Uh, um yes, dead."
Mrs. Romano's eyes filled with tears. Luka took her chin in his hand, and in the sexiest voice he could possibly speak, he said, "I am so sorry for your loss." Mrs. Romano's eyes dried.
"Well, my work here is done," Luka said, hitching up his pants and walking away. Sam scowled. Mrs. Romano began to weep. Elizabeth approached her.
"Mrs. Romano, I knew Robert very well. As friends. Just that. And I know that he probably thought you were wonderful. Or at least descent. So maybe you'd like to come with me, to the grave? I'm Elizabeth Corday." A grin spread on Mrs. Romano's face.
"Oooh, Bobby told me about you. He fancied you quite a bit. I'm Roberta Romano, singer, actress, dancer etc. extraordinaire."
"Quite the title."
15 MINUTES LATER
"So my Bobby is ALIVE? But those guys said-"
"Roberta, for the fifteenth and final time, he faked his death! Do you want to see him?"
"Oh, please! Oh, but he may mention something about me reading his diary to his fifth grade girlfriend…that's just a game we like to play."
15 MINUTES LATER
"Robert! We're home!"
"WE?" Robert came running down the stairs and was caught in his mothers embrace.
"M-mom?"
"Oh, Bobby! Your girlfriend said you were alive, and I thought she was lying, but it's TRUE! It's TRUE! Oh, Bobby, I'm so happy!"
"Elizabeth. Can I talk to you in the kitchen? Alone?"
"What were you THINKING? I mean, my MOTHER? What from my personality suggests I would have a good relationship with my mother?"
"Well, what's wrong with her?"
"Lets see: She's selfish, annoying, big-mouthed, stubborn, rude, embarrassing, bal-stupid…"
"What was that last one?"
"Stupid! She read my diary over the PA system!"
"She told me she told your girlfriend."
"She told REBECCA? That's why she dumped me!"
Elizabeth looked over at Roberta. Ella was staring at me. The little girl ran to her mother."
"Is that gramma?"
"No, sweet, grammas in England."
"Then who's she?" Ella asked, pointing to her.
"Really, you should teach your child some manners! You don't point, Emma."
"Ella."
"Whatever. Difference by two letters. Anyways, I'm famished from the long, expensive flight here. What's for dinner?"
2 HOURS LATER
"Really, isn't it a little late for dinner?"
"It's 6:00." Elizabeth said, not being able to hide a hint of annoyance in her voice.
"So, I just finished a run in Rent, and the producer liked me so much, he might give me my own show! Just think-The Roberta Romano Experience! Wouldn't that be exciting, Bobby?"
"Sure."
Roberta put her fork down.
"It's so hot in here! Let me open a window." She did so. Elizabeth and Robert felt immediate discomfort as they watched Roberta eat contently.
"I'm cold!" Ella cried.
"Get some manners, would you, child?"
Elizabeth put down her fork and was about to scream, when a giant wind blasted through the room. She thought better of it and continued to eat. Robert placed a hand on his forehead and groaned. Elizabeth looked up and gasped in horror. Roberta's hair was gone! Roberta's hair had flown out the window!
"B-b-b-b-b-" Elizabeth stammered. Roberta felt her head and her eyes filled with tears.
"b-b-b-BEAUTIFUL!" Elizabeth finished.
"My hair! We have to get my hair!" She cried, running outside. Robert and Elizabeth followed, Ella in Elizabeth's arms. They found Roberta standing before a tall tree in the backyard.
"It's up there!" She screamed.
Robert ran into the house, grabbed a broom, and poked at it, then it came fluttering down. Unfortunately, another gust of wind blew it into the neighbour's backyard. They watched helplessly as Chomper, the neighbour's bulldog, well…chomped on it.
"NOOOO!" she screamed. She turned and ran into the house. They followed her.
"You two will pay! For my new wig, that is." She cried.
"Where do we get it?" Elizabeth asked.
"Why can't you get it?" Robert asked.
"I can't get it, it would ruin my reputation! You have to buy it specially from Italy, it's very hard to get!"
"Roberta." Elizabeth said slowly.
"ALRIGHT,ALRIGHT! 24 MIKE STREET! WALLYS WIGS! YOU HAPPY?"
She ran up the stairs and barged into Roberts room.
"Grammas mad at me." Ella said.
"No, darling! No she's not."
"Hey, Lizzie," Robert said. "Does that sofa pull out?"
"No. Why?"
"Well, my mom just went into my room. If that couch doesn't pull out, it means that you and I have to…share a bed."
TO BE CONTINUED