Harry shook his head as he made his way to Dumbledore's office. Hermoine had just revealed some interesting information. She was in love with Ron. Well, maybe not in love, but she liked him. That little secret explained everything that she had done this year. When she got mad that Ron and I paid too much attention to Clara, it was because she was jealous. Harry felt stupid for not being able to see it before. It should have been obvious, but apparently, he was too busy for his own secrets to realize that.
He wondered what he could do to help Hermoine. She probably wanted Ron to notice her in the way that he noticed Clara. She must want him to feel the same way, so that she can be with him. Even though that would be weird for Harry, he wanted his friends to be happy and if it would make Hermoine happy to be with Ron, than Harry wanted to help. How could he help though, if Ron was still angry?
He would have to get Ron to forgive him before he could be any aid to Hermoine. Though it sounded simple, Harry knew this would be difficult. There was no excuse for what he did, but he had to try to make Ron understand. He would let his friend know about everything, he would tell Ron that Sirius was alive, that Sirius was Clara's father, and that all this stress was getting to Harry. Maybe Ron would sympathize, but Harry realized, that he didn't want sympathy; what he wanted was forgiveness. Maybe he shouldn't tell Ron these things just to guilt him into being his friend again. He should wait until Ron forgives him because he wants to, not because he feels like he has to.
Suddenly, Harry was in front of Dumbledore's office and he finally thought about the conversation that was to come. He wondered what the headmaster was going to say. Would he talk about Sirius? Maybe he found a way to save him! Or, maybe Sirius is dead. What if he just wanted to punish Harry further for the fight? Harry shook these questions out of his head and took a warm, calming breath to prepare himself for whatever was going to happen.
"Do you need the password, Harry?" asked a familiar voice behind him. He turned and when he saw who it was, he looked down at the linoleum floor awkwardly. The blonde haired Clara was standing before him. Harry didn't exactly think it was wise to talk to her because it might make Ron angrier, if that was even possible. He just wanted his friend back, and if that meant he couldn't talk to Clara, than that was a sacrifice he had to make. But she was just so beautiful……
"Er…sure" Harry was trying to be distant and not make eye contact. He didn't want to talk about that amazing kiss they had earlier, it would just be a reminder of what could never happen again.
"It's Earwigs" she replied. Harry couldn't tell what she was feeling right now; it seemed as if she was acting like nothing had happened. That wouldn't be so bad, Harry thought. If she acted like the kiss never happened, maybe it would be easier to explain that he couldn't talk to her anymore. He winced as he thought of this; he knew that telling her that would be infinitely difficult no matter how she behaved. "Uh…Harry?"
She was looking at him bewildered as he snapped back into focus. The gargoyles had parted already to make way for him. He didn't know how long he had been sitting there thinking, but he was embarrassed. His face grew red as he answered shyly, "Sorry"
He tried to walk away from her and down the passage to Dumbledore's office before she said anything, but that would have been too easy. She called out to him before he even got two steps away, "Can we talk later?"
Harry closed his eyes disappointedly. He just wanted to talk to Dumbledore and get Ron back as his friend. Why was it so complicated? All he had to do was tell her to leave him alone and then he was on his way. He just needed to be mean for about 2 seconds to her, so that she got the point.
The thing was though; Harry didn't know how to be mean. "Sure" He cursed at himself inside his head for being such an idiot. Why did he do that?
"Come get me when you are done talking to Dumbledore. I'll be in the library." She said happily and smiled before turning to walk away. She had a little bounce in her step as she sauntered down the halls. He felt bad because she was happy, and he was later going to make her not so happy. She'd probably be furious with him actually. He'd have to do it though, no matter how much it hurt her. He just had to suck it up and do it.
Enough of thinking about that, it was time to talk to the headmaster.
………………………………………………………………..
Harry had been sitting in the chair in front of Dumbledore's desk for what seemed like eternity. The headmaster wasn't there, and Harry didn't want to snoop around or come back later, so he thought it would be best to sit and wait. It was getting a little hard to wait though, because Harry was beginning to get so impatient. There is so much they needed to talk about that it was getting difficult to not be so anxious.
"Ahh, Harry! I'm glad you're here." That was the exact voice that Harry had wanted to hear.
He looked back at Dumbledore not saying anything, but grinning happily. He was finally going to find out a few things that he has been wondering for a while.
Professor Dumbledore swiftly walked towards his desk. He looked a little weary, but he still managed to have a twinkle in his eyes. As he sat down in the seat behind his desk he looked down warmly at Harry. "Would you like to tell me about the fight?" His mood was hard to read; Harry couldn't tell whether he was angry or not.
"Well, I…I really screwed up." Harry paused a moment and glanced up at Dumbledore. He was silent and didn't push Harry to continue, which Harry always appreciated. He took a small breath, and carried on. "Ron has liked Clara since the beginning of the year. He has made a couple attempts at hinting to her how he feels, but nothing really happened between them. I didn't tell Ron, but I started to like Clara too. I wasn't planning on acting on my feelings…. but she kissed me. I pulled away and told her that I couldn't do that to Ron. That happened in the beginning of the year. Then, just yesterday before the game, she pulled me aside and told me that Sirius was her dad. She was upset because she thought he was dead and that she would never get to know him. We kind of yelled at each other for a while until I started to accept that my godfather was her dad. Then, I don't even know why, but I got a little depressed by thinking about Sirius, and him under the control of Voldemort. So she…she kissed me again. This time I didn't pull away. I feel so selfish for doing that and not even thinking about Ron. He walked in on me and Clara but I didn't even know, until he threw a punch at me."
There was silence. Harry looked embarrassedly down at the floor. He felt weird telling his headmaster about his love life, but it also felt good to let it all out. Plus, Dumbledore may give him some worthy advice; he always knew what to do, just like Hermoine.
"It must be difficult for Ron, seeing his best friend get everything that he wants" Dumbledore said this quietly after a few moments.
"But I don't want those things, all I want is what he has, a family." Harry retorted.
"Yes, I know. But imagine how it is for him. He sees you, his best friend, get all the attention, you get the girl of his dreams, you get appointed team captain of your Quidditch team, you're the most famous person in the magical word and he must live in your shadow."
"I would gladly switch places with him." Harry replied a little confused. He couldn't understand why one person would want to be him, or have what he has. He is an orphan because his parents were murdered, he has a psychopath trying to kill him, he has the fate of either defeating a dark lord or die trying, he has reporters writing ridiculous stories about him and he constantly has to look over his shoulder. Harry can't always trust everyone because they might be serving Lord Voldemort, and he also has relatives that despise him every waking moment of their lives. What was so good about being Harry Potter?
"No one will ever understand what you go through, Harry. No matter how much you tell Ron about your experiences, he could never understand the magnitude of the situations. He is your friend though, and he will try his best to comprehend, but sometimes there are a few things that you feel that you must keep to yourself." Harry knew what Dumbledore was getting at, "Why didn't you tell Ron about Sirius?"
He sighed for a moment. "I honestly don't know. I just didn't want to have to see his shocked and scared face once I told him the news. I didn't want to listen to advice about what to do or what to feel. I just wasn't ready to tell him, I guess." Dumbledore nodded as he looked over his half moon spectacles, "I told Hermoine everything this morning though."
"When are you going to tell Ron?"
"When I find a way to make him stop being mad at me. Last time he was angry with me was at the Triwizard tournament. He forgave me after that dragon nearly killed me. But I hadn't done anything then, this time I really did something horrible."
"Give it time"
Harry nodded in response and answered meekly, "How much time?"
"One can never know how long it will take for the heart to forgive." Harry smiled. Only Dumbledore would say something like that.
"Yeah….er, there were some other things on my mind that I wanted to ask you" Harry stated. He was eager to know more about his godfather. Dumbledore raised his eyebrows and looked at Harry knowingly. "About Sirius" He added this slowly, hoping that the headmaster wouldn't tell him anything bad. He didn't know why he was all of the sudden becoming a little scared.
"Yes, of course."
"Have you been able to do anything to help him yet?" Harry looked at him hopefully.
Dumbledore took in a deep breath and replied reluctantly, "It's been difficult to compromise with Voldemort. He has Sirius Black heavily guarded and refuses to release him." Harry let out a puff of air; this was not what he wanted to hear. He wanted to hear good news more than anything.
"Would he let Sirius go if I took his place?" asked Harry seriously. He wasn't just saying this; he really wanted to do this. If his godfather could risk his life for Harry's sake, then so can he. He'd do anything to stop Sirius's pain.
"Even if I allowed you to do that, Voldemort is evil and unfair. He would probably not free your godfather even if you made a deal with him."
"I could at least try." Harry argued. Even if there was the slightest chance that this could work, he had to take it. He could no longer stand by and pretend that this wasn't happening. At the same time, Harry got the feeling that Dumbledore wasn't telling him something. He didn't press the headmaster though. If Dumbledore felt that Harry shouldn't know something, then he would have to trust his judgment. He could not trust his judgment on rescuing Sirius, however. It might be okay with Dumbledore to sit back and do nothing for Sirius, but it was NOT okay with Harry. "Remember what the prophecy said?" asked Harry quickly.
The headmaster sadly raised his head at the mention of the prophecy. He nodded as he answered, "Of course"
"What if this is the time where I am supposed to defeat Voldemort. Where I finally kill him…or" Harry added uncomfortably, "where he finally kills me."
Dumbledore slowly clasped his hands together and put his chin on them. He was studying Harry quietly and not showing any emotion. He was actually considering this! Harry thought to himself wide-eyed. This could be it, the last time he would ever have to face Voldemort. Even though there was a risk of dying, Harry still felt a small comfort in the hope that this was the time that the prophecy spoke about. "You know I can't allow you to do that"
"Why not?" Harry shot back. He understood that Dumbledore didn't want to send him into the clutches of Voldemort, but he thought the headmaster would have allowed him to go if he was reminded of the prophecy.
"I promised Sirius that I wouldn't"
"But when would you have made that promise? He couldn't have known that this was going to happen and you haven't been able to talk to him while Voldemort's been keeping him…have you?" Harry's heart skipped a beat as he thought of Dumbledore being able to speak to Sirius while he was a slave to Voldemort. It also made him a little angry. Why wasn't he allowed to speak to his godfather?
"I visited him briefly."
"You know where he is? Tell me!" Harry asked quickly. If he only knew where Sirius was, that would be all he needed.
"I can't do that. I know what you're thinking Harry, but you must be patient. Trust me."
Harry did trust Dumbledore, but it was still hard to not be able to know anything about the very thing you thought about constantly. "But what if he dies and never meets his daughter?" This was another thing that he had wanted to bring up in the conversation. He wanted Dumbledore to tell him about Sirius and his mysterious past with Genevieve.
The headmaster showed a small smile as he replied, "I knew Clara would tell you." He looked away for a moment and stared at his pet phoenix that was in the cage. "Sirius will come out of this in the end. He always manages."
"How did he and Genevieve even have Clara? He never said anything about a child or a woman." Harry couldn't contain his curiosity anymore. He was dying to know more about his godfather. This was just as fascinating as when he was learning about his own dad.
"Well, Sirius and Genevieve were together almost as long as your father and mother were. If I remember right, I believe that they were married right before Sirius had to go into hiding. He was the secret keeper for your parents, as you know, and he didn't want to put Genevieve in danger because he knew Voldemort would try to get the password. So they stayed in separate hiding places. After the whole ordeal where Sirius had made Peter the new secret keeper and Voldemort had murdered your parents, he had gone back to the house where Genevieve was staying and it was destroyed. Sirius and everyone assumed that she was dead. I guess she was pregnant at that time and never got the chance to tell him."
Harry's breaths were shallow. He could not believe how unfair life had been to his godfather Sirius. He didn't deserve to go threw his life believing that he has nothing, when he has a family that he doesn't even know about. "Why was Genevieve's house destroyed? And how'd she get away?"
"That I do not know. There are many possibilities as to how or why, but I don't know what's right. All that I do know is that had pushed Sirius even more over the edge. He had lost so much in one night, that it was hard to cope; he blamed himself."
"How come nobody ever mentioned that he had a wife?" asked Harry. He was glad that at least he was finding the truth out about something.
"They had gotten married so soon before they had to go into hiding that only a selected few had a chance to find out."
Suddenly Harry thought of something, "When you visited Sirius, did you tell him that he has a daughter?" Harry hoped beyond hope that Dumbledore had done so. Sirius needed to know right away; he had gone through enough of his life without knowing.
Dumbledore looked at Harry thoughtfully and responded with a little bit of regret in his voice, "Maybe I should have while I talked with him, but it seemed as if he was in enough pain and had enough to think about. He didn't need another thing to burden himself with. Also, if Voldemort knew, he would certainly use that piece of information for evil."
Harry supposed that that made sense. He wouldn't want Voldemort taking Clara too. That would be going way too far. He would be forced to do something then.
There was abruptly a knocking sound on Dumbledore's office door that interrupted their conversation. "Headmaster, sorry to interrupt, but there's something that I think you should know." The voice belonged to none other than Professor Snape. Just by seeing him, Harry remembered how much Severus was in love with Clara's mom and then everything just made sense. No wonder why Sirius and Severus hated each other so deeply, they were in love with the same woman. That would also explain Snape's unnatural hostility towards Clara and Sirius. It was so obvious now!
"No trouble, me and Harry were just finishing up." Dumbledore looked at Harry and locked his sparkling eyes with Harry's. The headmaster was saying without words that he must tell Clara about how her father and mother came to be. Harry supposed that would mean that he would have to cancel his plans of no longer talking to Clara.