Because I Can't Have You

By: Sari

Disclaimer: Nope, OTH still doesn't belong to me.

Summary: One Shot. AU Laley Future fic. So what happens when they finally figure out the truth?

Haley wonders –

Now that she's twenty-five and married with a kid on the way if it will ever stop hurting. She's the successful singer with an even more successful basketball player for a husband. They have a beautiful house in the rolling hills of Maryland overlooking a beautiful lake. Their house is built like it came out of a fairy tale with guards and security camera and yes, even a tree house in the back for little Lana, their 2 year old girl.

And Haley appears at music awards with Nathan on her sleeve and camera's trailing after, photographing the life that she leads. Everyday a new photo of the "Queen and King of Maryland" as they're called.

And Nathan plays his basketball and entertains the questions about their perfect life, their perfect sex life, their perfect child, and "oh is there another one coming on the way?"

"Yes there is," he always answers. "And we're very happy."

But if Haley is really honest with herself she'd admit that she didn't even want their first child, or to be married, or singing empty ballads that meant nothing to her, or living this sham of a life because she was too late and too weak to grab what she really wanted.

So she sits and plays the perfect wife, the perfect star, and the perfect mom.

All because she couldn't have him.

Nathan wonders –

If Haley really thinks he's that stupid. If she really thinks that he doesn't notice that her gaze lingers just a second to long whenever he visits, or that she follows his words just a little too closely, or cheers just a little too loudly when they're at his games. He wonders if she doesn't notice the depression that creeps up on her after he hasn't followed through with his plans to call or when he forgets one of the stupid holidays they made up when they were kids.

And Nathan thinks that he's justified in feeling angry when Haley comments one day that she wishes Lana's hair was blonde, or when she vaguely recalls their first date but can retell vividly every word that Lucas said the first day he met her.

But even though he knows he'll always be second best he still plays the role of the perfect husband, showering her with gifts and love. Even if that love will never be returned and she's just going through the motions.

Nathan plays roles well, the role of the father, the sports player, the best man, the brother, and the husband that she really wishes was someone else.

All because he couldn't be the brother that she wanted.

Brooke wonders –

Why Lucas hasn't broken up with her yet. Why he insists on going on with this charade because she knows he doesn't love her at least not like he loves Haley. He maintains their ridiculous relationship in hopes that he'll forget that he ever loved her, that he still wants her—needs her to survive. At least that's what Brooke thinks, when she's being honest with herself and not hoping that the love in his eyes is actually for her and not for the woman behind her.

So instead she plays the part of the perfect girlfriend and at the end of the day cries to Peyton about the injustice of it all. How she tried so hard to win his love and only got it because he couldn't get Haley's first.

But Brooke is a woman, a dignified woman, and she doesn't let it get her down because she will win his love one day. She thinks that way because she has to. There is no other option because she cannot survive without him. She cannot live her life without him.

She loves him, she just wishes it was enough.

Brooke keeps her head held up high and becomes the trophy girlfriend, and feeds the tabloids the lines and images they want to hear.

While she's dying inside…

All because she couldn't be her.

Lucas wonders –

One day while Brooke is out running errands and Nathan is out practicing leaving Haley and him alone why they didn't notice it sooner. They had been friends all their life and knew everything about the other yet they didn't know enough to sense the love growing inside.

Because if he allowed himself to look inside himself and ignore the duty he felt to Brooke he knew—he loved her, more than any person in his life.

And she love him, he was sure of that as well. Because if she didn't, she wouldn't be here crying on his shoulder apologizing for her feelings desperately waiting for his advice and his inevitable words of wisdom because he had to know and she couldn't let him leave today without finally tell him the truth.

So when she finally pulls away and looks up at him, eyes watery and heart bursting once again repeating those breathy words surrounded in pain: "I love you."

All he can say is: "I love you too."

But he can't help but ask, "Why did you marry Nathan if you knew?"

He's not surprised when he hears her response, because if the script had been flipped he would have repeated the answer:

"Because I couldn't have you."

THE END.