Chapter 8: Revealing the Truth
Ever since my dad gave me that journal, I've read every page. But the last page seems to be stapled. I want to know what it says, but I made a deal with myself that I would read the rest before I got to that page.
I was on the page before the last. I was getting antsy. When I finished, I gently open tore the pages free and looked at the date. It was dated 6/17. The day my mother died. She wrote in here before she took off in that car, the car that would take her life.
6/17 'I'm so sick of Landon trying to baby me just because I've been sick. I know he wants to keep me safe and not let me do anything that will harm my fragile health. But I want to spend what time I have left doing what I want. Does he even remember my to-do list? I have many things I want to do. I know I may never spend a year in the Peace Corps. But I do want to do other things. I just want to leave. I want to protect my kids from this horrible disease. I'll just pack up and leave. My kids will be better off.'
She didn't even sign it. My mother was sick? She left so that we would be protected from what would happen to her?
I remember that they did fight before she died, but it was always after we went to bed. I could hear them downstairs. I don't remember anything they said, but it would always end with a door slamming. Then by morning it seemed everything was ok.
I decided to go ask my dad to explain what I just read. I entered his office and sat down.
"How's the journal?" He asked removing his glasses.
"Good, it helps, but I got to the last page." I replied.
"Oh." He said looking down. He wipes his glasses on his shirt.
"Was she sick?" I asked.
"Yes. She was sick. She was very sick at the time of her death." He said.
"What did she have?" I asked sitting up and leaning on his desk.
"She had cancer. Leukemia to be exact. She didn't know about until she had her… This is so hard for me to explain." He said.
"Please dad. I'd much rather find out from you then a complete stranger." I said. He smiled and nodded.
"She had a miscarriage. Isabel, your mother was pregnant with our third child and a week later, she lost it. When I took her to the hospital. Her blood tests came in and it revealed that she was in the advanced stages of Leukemia. She didn't have long to live." He explained as he stood up. He walked over to me and sat on the edge of his desk. He continued "When we found out. We fought constantly. She just wanted to live and I, of course, wanted her to stay in bed. We didn't understand each other. We would make up and it was great, but one day, I found a note on the fridge. It said that this was better this way. She would protect you and Dylan and die where she wanted. She wanted to go back to her father's and die peaceful in her bed that she had growing up."
"Is that all?" I asked.
"Yes, that is the big secret. She was sick and didn't want you to see her dying. She hopped in that car and took that fatal drive." He said.
"The big secret was that mom had cancer and was leaving at the time of her death?" I asked.
"Yes, Izzy." He said sitting back down. Did he just call me Izzy?
"You never call me Izzy. That's what mom called me in the journal." I said. He nodded.
"She always called you that, but it sound so close to what I called her." He said.
"This is so hard to believe, but thank you dad." I said standing up. I went over him and did something I haven't done in awhile. I gave him a hug. The kinds of hugs he used to gave me before I went to sleep. After they tucked me in, he would come in and give a big hug and he usually kissed me one the nose. He would then turn on my Winnie the Pooh nightlight and shut the door, until there was just a crack. I feel asleep listening to my mother laugh downstairs.
"You're very welcome." He said and then we pulled apart. I left his office. I tried to absorb what he just told me.
It's very hard to believe that my mother would just run out on her family, on me. She did have a good reason, but I learned in school that you should not protect children from death and that they should know it happens to everyone. I'm going to try to make this not so bad for when I tell Dylan about mom.
P.S. What da ya Think? I know it's a bit short, but know she knows the secret.