Hiei's Jaded Dragon: "Hello. I can actually update again! It's been so long and I've got the flu. I hate being sick. I had to miss two days of school and it's going to take forever to make everything up. Just about all my teacher's will want me to make up the hour and a half of class I missed and that's going to take awhile. I hate this."

Hiei: "Onna stop complaining. Just type your stupid story and shut-up."

Me: "You are so mean to me. Don't even care that I'm sick. . . you'll pay little man.

Hiei: "Oh no. Now what's she going to do to me?

Me: "Hope you like getting in trouble cause that's where you'll be!"

Hiei: "Damn."

Me: "And I got my first flame from cena!!! Evil person dissing my fic cause it has oc's! She said why make an oc when there's other girls in the show, but could any of you see the original cast members not caring if Hiei told the truth? They'd all want him to confess, so it wouldn't really work the way I had planned. Plus by the end of this fic and the sequel, every girl and guy will be taken. And to do that I need two more girls so in come Talia and Kira. Thought about pairing off Kurama and Hiei but I've never really saw them as anything more than friends but hey I don't mind yaio's, I just didn't feel like writing one. Besides the whole point of this web site is to write what you want, no matter how crazy or perverted or anything. So cena mind your own damn business and don't call me a whore because I'm a hoe! Hoe's like myself get paid; whore's like you don't cause you're free and easy!!! Hehe."

Chow-Chow Binks: "For some odd reason, cruel things are very funny."

Night Owl 123: "I'll try to update" : )

Monk12: "Thanks and hope you read the entire thing."

hiei'slover-hiei is mine-Arwen: "A close friend of mine and I always fight over Hiei and here's My response to you "MINE and mine alone! Go get your own!" I say in childish voice.

Hiei: "You have serious possessive issues."

---Toodles: You even evil-er little friend."

Shadow-Seeker-13: "Addicted? Cool it's like a drug without the side effects. . .hopefully."

a person: "If that ever happened in real life, I'd die of embarrassment. Everyone knowing my thoughts would be humiliating!"

Jessica (Jess-Scarpio): "How many times do I have to tell you to get some new material?!"

Hiei-lonewolf: "Glad you liked my costume, it was wicked awesome!"

Jessica or Toki (sanohiei25): "If Hiei were real and I was on the floor with him. . . YAY! Hope you like Yukina's punishment. . .but it's in chapter twelve."

nappyhaed: "Sweet you loved it. I'll continue."

rose(squiggle): "Someone's really addicted to this fic. I love humor and romance too. . . notice how you always remember the stupid funny things people do an that relationships seem to last longer when there's humor involved? That's why I write romance/humor fics."

Leamarie F. Rocket: "Thanks."

dark-side-nb: "Being the bride of Chucky was awesome. A trash bag full of candy. . . Yum! Glad you like Talia. BYE!"

HIEISfavFANgrl: "Don't worry this WILL get finished if it's the last thing I do! There's even going to be a sequel."

Molly: "I'll add more so you can turn the : ( into a : ) You are super addicted to this. . .you reviewed a lot. Glad you and your cousin like this."

cena: "I'm going to use all the other girls. . .they'll be paired with guys from the show. . .and I didn't want to put Hiei with Kurama. So I needed oc's! BITCH!"

Amari Koorime: "Revenge is sweet and there will ne more. Bye."

PrincessKrystal01: "Yeah fireworks and more to come. . ."

Vashlover9: "Yeah I was really busy. . .sorry it took forever. Anyway loved your fic and loved the thign with the whip cream. . .see I read your fic before i read your review so I assumed you borrowed the idea but wasn't sure. Sometimes people think a lot alike. Good job being a perv--I'm one as well--my closest friends call Icky Vicky cause of it and my name. Glad your getting into this. "

dragonkatana: "I confuse myself too. . . and revenge is awesomely sweet."

Silvermane1: Thanks for thinking this is funny."

"Talking"

/Telepathy/

-Thoughts-

(Comments)

The little voice inside your head

Hiei and Talia enter Hiei's room and right after he shuts the door, they burst out laughing.

"There are such fools. They didn't even bother to think that maybe someone did something to their drinks! Baka's." He says with a smirk.

"Ah the satisfying taste of sweet victory." She replies with a smile. -I got those two out of the way but there's till Yukina. I know Hiei won't help me so, I'll have to work alone.-

"So now that their busy, we can relax. I'm going to go take a shower, why don't you sleep or something." He says as he walks to the restroom with some fresh clothes and a towel.

-Silly guy. Hm, a nap sounds good, but I think I'll get Yukina to mind her own business instead.- "I think I'll go talk to my sister." She answers.

Hiei goes and takes a bath while Talia leaves the room and casually walks to the living room, where everyone except for the two foxes are watching tv. She sits down on the couch next to Kuwabara.

"Hey Kuwabara, what are you watching?" Talia asks with interest. -This guy seems nice and I'm lucky he's not very bright.-

"Uh, Inu Yasha." He answers. -Why is shortie's girl talking to me? Shouldn't she hate me? Yukina told me she was only pretending to be Hiei's mate and was nothing but trouble but earlier she looked liked she was having fun with him on the floor. EEEEW! Shorty and a girl! I still can't get that image out of my mind. But she can't be all that bad cause sometimes even Hiei is sorta nice and she can't be worse than him? Right? Plus she seems nice.-

"Oh I've always liked Inu Yasha. My favorite character is Sessohmaru. Whose your fav?" She asks while looking at the TV screen. -This is going to be too easy.-

"Um, I like Shippo cause he's so sweet and naive, like Yukina. I also like Ke-la-la(I probably didn't spell the name right but for all you Inu Yasha lovers out there, you know I mean Sango's pet demon who resembles a cross between a cat and a fox.) cause she looks like a kitty."

"I think Shippo is so cute! So, how long have you known Hiei?" She asks. -Phase one: Get oaf to trust me. Phase two: Get him to talk about his friends then to Yukina. Phase three: Get him and Yukina in a deeper relationship very soon and pray that keeps that nosy girl out of our business.-

"Uh ever since Maze Castle. . . so about two years. Why do you ask? The dummy wonders. -She's up to something but what?-

"Hiei never really spoke of all of guys until he came and got me, so I'm just curious. I already asked him a lot of stuff but he's taking a shower and it's rude to bombard one person with so many questions." She answers smoothly.

"Oh. So must really like him, huh?" He says.

"Yes I do. We were best friends but after so long we became more than friends and that lead to us being mates. What about you? Do you have anyone you like?" She says in a dreamy way. -This is even easier than I thought it would be.-

"I love my darling Yukina!" He shouts while standing up and then proceeding to fall down on his ass.

"Shesh baby bro. Can't you stop being an idiot for at least for a minute?" Says Shizuru while sighing. (Note that only Kuwabara has heard the things Talia has been saying to him. The others really aren't paying attention.)

Kuwabara stands back up and yells "I'm not an idiot!" He then sits back down and mutters "Stupid sister thinking she knows it all."

Talia giggles and says "Don't worry I'm sure Yukina doesn't think you're an idiot. And just out of curiosity, how far have you gotten with Yukina?"

"Well we've um ...Why do you want to know anyway?" He asks baffled.

"I kinda see how almost everyone here has someone and I want to know the extent of everyone's relationships. We have Kira and Kurama, Yusuke and Keiko, You and Yukina, and Hiei and myself. I figured that since you all knew of Hiei's and my relationship I should know about yours." Talia answers smartly. -Lying---the only skill you need to survive in today's world. It can get you out of any jam and it makes life less complicated. YAY for lying.-

"Well we love each other and . . . she has kissed me and I hold her hand and we go to places together. She is sweet and she doesn't think I'm stupid. . .She's an angel." He says with hearts around him.-Yeah an angel related to the devil. But no matter what I shall be with my Yukina!-

"Cool well nice talking to you but I think Hiei is done showering now and I'm in the mood for a nice long bath. Bye Kuwabara." She says as she walks away. -Ok now I know about how far those two have gone so now to get them to deepen relationship and hopefully Yukina will forget about Hiei and myself.-

(Note: Talia still thinks Yukina wants Hiei to be her mate and isn't even thinking this is some type of scam to get Hiei to tell the truth.)

Talia goes to her and Hiei's room and without thinking just opens the door. But ironically Hiei has forgotten his boxers so he, forgetting about Talia, leaves the restroom nude and as he's looking through his dresser for some boxers, Talia opens the door. She looks up and is about to say "Hiya Hiei" when she notices he's naked. Her eyes swell up and she just stares at the naked Jagashi. Without even thinking about anyone or anything, she shouts at the top of her lungs "CAPTAIN NUDEY PANTS!!!"

Hiei freaks out, turns bright red, and momentarily freezes. Well he freezes until he hears the running footsteps of everyone else in the dojo. Apparently they heard the scream and were coming to check it out. (Who wouldn't come after hearing the phrase Captain Nudey Pants?)

Freaked out at the thought of being seen naked by everyone, Hiei grabs a sheet off the bed and quickly wraps himself in it. But Talia is still frozen with her eyes popping out and her face is all red. Hiei grabs her and tries to get her to snap out of it but he falls down cause of the blanket, and in come every nosy loser in the house.

All they see is Hiei in a blanket on the floor with Talia, who is frozen and all red. Finally in an attempt to break the silence, Hiei says "What are you all doing here?"-PLEASE for all that is sane GO AWAY! I naked and it's none of their damn business. How could this get any worse?-

(Don't people know never to ask how could this get any worse-- cause immediately after it does get WORSE?)

And as soon as he thought that, Talia burst into a fit of the giggles.-I saw Hiei naked. . .great body but oh my freckin god I wasn't supposed to see that! This is sooo embarrassing. . . wonder how Hiei is taking it? Damn he's hot! After what happened with his sleep-fuck incident and this, I have proof that little guys are big when it comes to what's important. Oh shit, now I'm a horny slut! And when I saw him naked standing there, paralyzed by embarrassment, I thought of that time when we were kids and I dared him to run around my house naked and yell "I am Captain Nudey Pants!!! I scare off all with my amazing nakedness!"

(Case you're curious, she told him "Are you afraid to do a little dare?" to coax him into going along with it.)

"Hiei what is wrong with my sister?" Kira asks. -What the hell is going on?-

"Long story short um uh nothing's wrong she just um crap." The fire demon tries to explain but is at a loss for words. -What do I say? I can't say I'm naked and she saw me because they think she's my mate so why would we care? Damn.-

"Hiei we heard a scream ant it sounded like Captain something pants. What was that all about?" Questions the sly fox. -He's hiding something and it might be the key to ending this fake mate shit.-

". . .Talia is fine and about the screaming well. . ." He replies.

At that very moment, Talia stops laughing and says "I'm shouted because. . .hahahahahaha!!! He was standing there. . ." She says as Hiei covers her mouth up.

"Just ignore her and go away now or else." Hiei says in a monotone. With that said they all leave, someone closes the door, but they are all very curious as to what happened.

-God that was close! Why is she laughing. . .that was not funny. She saw me naked. Shouldn't she be embarrassed or at least anything but laughing? Wait I'm naked and she's on top of me . . ." Thinks the half Koorime.

Talia recovers from her fit and removes Hiei's hand from her mouth. "Sorry Hiei but no matter how wrong that was, it was funny. It was so random and it was the return of Captain Nudey Pants! I had to laugh no matter how embarrassing it was. . .Hiei why are you all quiet?" -Wait a sec, he's still naked and the only thing covering him up is that thin blanket. . .no wonder he's quiet. I know I wanted to be his best friend with benefits but this is kinda fast.-

Poor Hiei, he now is having more dirty thoughts. His conscience (It's not really a good conscience--it more or less just wants Hiei to have someone to be with so it is good in a way but it's also perverted) then sends Hiei some very naughty thoughts about him and Talia and it begins again. Hiei gets a hungry look in his eyes and the main course is Talia. He leans up and begins to kiss her neck. Then he lifts her up and carries her to the bed, placing her down gently. He hops in the bed and wraps himself around Talia, holding her as if he was a little kid and she was his teddy bear. He was getting comfy, when Kurama knocks and comes in.

"Hiei I'm terribly sorry for bothering you but I am concerned about what happened earlier and I want to know what happened. I swear I won't say a word to anyone."He says. -My kitsune instincts make me highly curious. I have to know what she was laughing about and why she screamed.-

At this Hiei's demon side causes him to growl at Kurama. "Kurama now is really not the time to be bugging Hiei. He's not himself and I think you should go. . .you kinda just ruined our moment for the third time today. See if you won't say anything we were planning to fully become mates but every time we get a chance to and the moment's right, someone interrupts us. So since you ruined it, could you at least leave? I'm sure Hiei will tell you everything tomorrow. Goodnight and please tell my sister and everyone else that they can quit trying to listen from behind the door, it's rude. And I don't won't to catch everyone in my room when I wake up." Says Talia while everyone emerges form behind the door. Apparently after Hiei told them to leave, they just hide outside the door, hoping to hear any juicy details about what happened.

"Hehe. Guess we're not very sneaky huh?" Says a mischievous smiling Yusuke. -How did she know we were there?-

"Quite alright, but why were you there?"Asks the suspicious fire chick.

"We are kinda nosy. It's just plain old curiosity." Exclaims Boton while she does that cat-like face and meows.-

"You do know that Curiosity killed the cat?" Remarks Talia with a malicious grin. She gets up and the look in her eyes spells murder. -They messed up my fun for the last time! Who knew anyone could be this nosy, let alone a whole group of people! I shall have to teach them a valuable lesson in learning when to keep their big noses out of other people's business.-

"Sister I know that look! You don't want to hurt us do you? You're just a little upset and that's perfectly understandable but please don't do anything you'll regret later." Says Kira. -Oh god she's pissed. We are dead and tonight she's playing the role of the grim reaper. I should've remembered, my sister is half dragon and it's never wise to disturb a dragon. Plus, she's also part viper, and man can they bite!-

(Forgot to tell you exactly what Talia was earlier, she's half dragon and half viper demon. There is a reason for this and it will make sense much much later. And Kira is half kitsune and half wolf.)

"Oh I won't regret what I'm about to do. . .I really don't have a conscience anymore. . .why do you think a cold killer like Hiei and I get along so well, that we're mates?" The viper girl exclaims with blood red eyes. She runs forward and in an instant, everyone in the room is paralyzed. Talia has the ability to produce a mist from the poison in her fangs which paralyzes her opponents.

"At the moment you are all at my mercy so I suggest you play nice. Now I'm only warning you guys ONE LAST FUCKING TIME: LEAVE ME AND HIEI ALONE!!! IF WE FEEL LIKE TELLING STUFF, THEN WE WILL, IF NOT WE WON'T. SO GO OR I'LL PERSONALLY MAKE SURE YOU TOO INDISPOSED TO BE SUCH NOSY SNOOPS EVER AGAIN!!! CAPSHISE?!" She yells as flames seem to surround her. -How Damn nosy can a few people be?! I get no peace! I know we are faking this whole thing but now I see him as more than a friend. I don't want to go too fast but I sure as hell don't like the way everyone comes in and and UGH!!! Can't they get a life?!!! At least this will make having a reason to dislike them and leave much easier.-

At that everyone's eyes heave swollen up O_O and they dash out of the room, slamming the door shut.

". . . THAT was DEFIANTLY Hiei's mate!!! Only the girl Hiei would pick as his bride could give me such a damn heart attack! !!" Says a shaken Kuwabara while holding his chest to stop his scared heart from jumping out of his chest.

"For once, you are actually right baby bro." Replies his sister, as she tries to catch her breath.

"We should NOT EVER go in there again. No matter how much I want to see Hiei try and make it with a girl or no matter how hot the girl is, I am NEVER going to go in that room without knocking again. I don't know about the rest of you, but I've died once and it sucked." Remarks the detective.

"I never knew anyone could be so mean and scary." Says the Koorime. -She looked like she wanted to kill us. . .but brother wouldn't let her do that right?-

"Oh don't worry my love muffin, I shall protect you from shorties evil girlfriend!!" Shouts Yukina's so-called knight in shining armor.

"And who will protect you from Talia?" Questions Kurama. -That girl is scarier than Keiko when she's slapping the shit out of Yusuke! She makes every girl I've ever known, ever the crazy physco ones, seem like a saint. But it probably takes quite a girl to keep Hiei in line. . . maybe she really is his mate. She sleeps next to him, she was making out with him, and we keep catching the two in very intimate positions. Maybe for my safety, I should drop it and leave those two alone.-

"Idiot. You never think things through do you?" Says Shizuru as she beats Kuwabara to a bloody pulp. -Those two have to mates. If they aren't, I'll quit smoking.-

"Don't worry sister always gets like this around her time of the month. It will all pass in a few days and she'll be normal again. Well as normal as she ever was anyway." Answers Kira. -I hope she was on her period and this isn't some crazy new personality quirk she's developed.-

Right after Kira says stat, they hear in a snake-like whisper, "Sister I AM NOT PMS-ING!!! You are really fucking annoying. God are you that damn retarded that you've abstinently minded forgotten that you are right outside my door and I can hear every little word you say?!"

"Hehe. I forgot. We'll just be going now. . ."Says Kira as they all run to their rooms.

"Finally now I can get some sleep. God damn nosy bastards." Talia says sleepily while yawning as she closes the door and walks to the bed.

"And thus concludes another chapter. I made it kinda long due to the long wait. Bye and review. Please remember that I use all flames to burn those who flame me without reason. So burn cena burn!!! !!!!!!! And so you probably guessed I'm crazy."