Chapter 2

Clark looked at her sharply, with one brow raised.

"Don't look at me like that! I'm serious. And I've been thinking about it for a long time."

"This wouldn't have anything to do with the rash of celebrities who are having babies lately, would it?"

"This is not a fad! Look, I never was one to play with dolls or play 'house' when I was little. I think it was because I knew it wasn't real. I have always tried to stay grounded. I didn't have time for dreams. But now, I want something real."

Confused at where this all was going, Clark turned his attention to the grassy expanse in front of him.

"I know I'm not making much sense, but I know this is real. I mean, it scared me at first, and I thought I was just going through one of those down times, or something," she added, quietly.

"Lois, this isn't an attempt to have someone who will love you unconditionally is it? Because you know that doesn't work. Babies need a lot more than they can give. It's not something that you just decide to do, like one day; 'I want to be a mother,' and the next day you change your mind. I mean, have you thought about your job? With the hours you work, how could you possibly think that you have time? According to you, you don't even have time to date! Maybe you should start with a dog first."

For a brief second, her eyes narrowed as her instincts told her to get defensive, but her mind reminded her that this was her best friend talking. She knew he was only bringing this up, not to hurt her, but to protect her; even from herself, if need be.

"I don't want a dog," she replied simply. "And I know that it seems crazy... I can't even fully explain it to myself, but something in me is saying that this is the time. You said it yourself; I don't have time to date. To be honest, it's not really that. I think that I'm afraid... but not of getting hurt. You have all these people that come in and out of your life, and you're looking for the right person. So you start a relationship, and when something isn't right, you quit. Then the cycle starts over. The thing is, you might end up passing the right person by because you are looking for the wrong thing!"

She took a breath and glanced at Clark before continuing. "Anyway, I think that going through all of that, I could miss the chance. I never thought I wanted kids before, but I do... At least one that is. I don't want to not have tried. I know that my work schedule will change, and my priorities might go through a mini-revolution, but it won't be overnight. I'll get used to it over time, I guess. Not everybody can plan things out in advance," Lois finished, doubtfully.

"So how are you planning to do it?" His eyes widened with shock as another thought dawned on him, "Or have you already done it!"

"No!" she laughed, amused by his anxiety over her situation. "I've decided to do the artificial insemination procedure."

"What? Why? You could adopt... it would save you the nine months of water gain."

Lois was silent for a minute, preoccupied with studying her hands. "Remember when I had all of those appointments a few weeks ago?"

Clark nodded, and she sighed before she continuing. "I was working with a social worker. We were going through all of the paperwork and I was scheduled to have a hearing. It wasn't like a real courtroom scene or anything; just a justice's office, but the effect of it was just as final. He was familiar with my past... run-ins with danger, I guess you can call them. Anyway, for that and other reasons, they found me unfit. I found out that day..." she broke off, sighing again.

She didn't need to explain any further, as he remembered the day she was talking about.

Feeling that she was in danger of acknowledging the true extent of the pain that the judgment had caused her; she smiled and took a different tone.

"Me- unfit! Can you believe it? Now what about a mother who drinks all the time, and leaves her 13 year old daughter to take care of her 9 year old sister? I was practically a mother then! Do you think I'm unfit?" She asked, hoping to sound light.

Clark heard the uncertainty through the façade, and looked her in the eye. When he had her full attention, without wavering he said, "You'd be great."

Lois sighed at his earnesty and looked away, swiping at something on her cheek.

"Besides, I think that the nine months would be helpful. It would give me time to prepare, and get used to the whole thing."

"It'll be hard finding a husband after... I mean, it'll be hard doing it by yourself," he said.

"Oh, I know!" she said, ignoring what he was going to say at first. "It was bad enough that I had an absentee father, but at least I knew who he was. I can only imagine how hard it is to grow up not knowing that much."

She reached out for Clark's hand as she spoke. Last year, he'd told her that he was adopted and never knew his birth parents. "I wouldn't want to do that if I could help it. Which is why I've chosen another solution."

Running a hand through his hair, Clark shook his head. "I don't understand. You say you're going to go to a clinic and pick the father of your child from a collection of frozen tubes?" He couldn't picture it. "How does that suffice for a father?"

"No, that's not quite what I had in mind. I want it to be someone that I know. A person that I know will be able to be a father figure for the child." She put both of her hands around the one of his that she held. "I want you to be my donor."

She saw a myriad of expressions flash swiftly across his face before he stood up shocked. With his back to her, she could see his suit jacket tighten as he folded his arms across his chest and began rubbing his chin.

Remaining seated, Lois began to plead her case. "Clark, you are my best friend. We have already gone through the whole getting to know you phase. You've seen my bad side... okay, my bad sides, and you're still here. I trust you more than anyone else I know, and I know that you'd make a terrific father. I can't imagine anyone else but you."

"I can't," he mumbled.

Lois stood and walked around him to see his face. "I know that this is sudden, Clark. But please, just think about it. "

As she watched, a familiar look settled on his face and she knew he was going to leave. Sighing, she grabbed his forearm. "We've gotten this far because we can always talk about anything. Don't leave, Clark. Let's talk this through... we have to come to some closure here. Don't get weird on me. Please, don't go. Not this time."

"I... I'm sorry. I can't." He said repeating himself. He looked anxiously over his shoulder, and Lois knew she'd lost him.

"Lois, I..." He started.

Lois shook her head. "Go. We'll talk later."

He ran a hand through his hair and jogged out of the park. Lois watched him leave in the fading light of the day. Turning back to the bench, she picked up her purse and walked back to the spot where she'd parked her car.

Clark stood in front of the burning remains of the building. It hadn't been an emergency where Superman was needed, but he'd heard the sirens and used the opportunity to escape. The building was an old abandoned warehouse in the old river district. He'd made sure that there were no people inside and was now taking a back seat to the trained firefighters. The building had been so dilapidated, that they'd decided to do a controlled burning of the remains. He knew he could leave at any time, but he found a strange peace that allowed him to think while staring at the bright wash of red, yellow, and orange lights flickering in front of him.

Although mesmerized, he didn't want to call any attention to himself, so he bent his knees slightly and took off into the night sky. He was halfway to Kansas when he turned around and went in the direction of his apartment instead.

How could he explain the shocking revelation that Lois had just given him to his parents? And worse, how could he explain that a part of him wanted to consider it?

He loved Lois Lane. He was beyond fooling himself about it. He knew that his feelings for her went deeper than anything he had ever felt for anyone in a girlfriend-boyfriend relationship. He'd dreamed about having a family with her, but it was all wishful thinking. First, she didn't return his feelings... not that he'd ever told her about them.

'Although she seems to have some type of attraction to The Man of Steel,' he thought grudgingly. Only Lois could make someone jealous of himself.

Second, he was different. He didn't know if he was even able to have children. And she didn't know this.

'She must have had some concerns about that, or why wouldn't she have asked Superman? He is obviously her first choice, and maybe her only choice,' his mind pointed out.

He was pretty sure that she'd understand why he couldn't... artificially inseminate her. The absurdity of the thought caused him to dryly laugh aloud.