Hitori ni Sasenai

by Lady Mac

OMG my CD came!!!! I am soooo psyched!! It's the Inuyasha theme song collection and it totally is rocking my computer speakers!! It's the best, even though it has nine (can you believe it? NINE!!) versions of "Dearest," which I don't really like all that much - not enough to listen to incessantly, anyways. But it has the CHANGE THE WORLD karaoke, which is what i was primarily after. Y'all need to go out and buy it from someplace - it's a two-cd set and it is soooo awesome! It even has "no more words" from "Toki wo Koeru Omoi"!!! Ha, ha . . . I like to laugh at the English lyrics for "Every Heart - Minna no Kimochi" because the grammar is so awful. Like, one line says "How many do I shed my tears?" Totally crazy.

Heh heh. On German keyboards the y and z are switched so when I was there I would write words like "crayz" but think it was right when I was typing it. Funny.

Wow - I love all of you, reviewers! Whenever I need to be egged on, I just go and look at all the reviews - though new ones are even more potent than old ones! And sorry if this chappie is a little muddled, I was up for 23 hours yesterday at a sleepover and then only slept for 7, so my brain is a little off today. But lots of it I wrote previously, it's just a matter of the transfer from hard copy to digital.

Also: my mom is a veterinarian and she says normal body temp for large dogs is between 101 and 102 degrees Fahrenheit, so IY's temperature (you'll see) is probably normal for him.

Okay, enough off-topic stuff. Meat and potatoes time!!

Disclaimer: Totally not mine. Totally broke. Thank you.

Chapter Five

Honor

"Okay, let me get this straight," Inuyasha said, pacing in front of Kagome as she sat on the edge of the well. "You want me to go in there alone, ask your mom and Jii-chan for permission to marry you, and if they agree, then tell them about the baby."

She nodded. "Then take whatever they dish out and get back here quick."

"But what if they say no?"

"They won't," she said firmly. "I'm almost eighteen, and I only have a year of high school left. Besides, they don't really have any control over me. They haven't since I fell into the well three years ago." She scowled. "Even if they do say no, it doesn't matter. I have a life here - the worst they can do is withdraw their support. We can still get married here."

He stared at her for a moment. "Kagome . . . I couldn't marry a girl - couldn't have an official ceremony - without her family's blessing. It's horribly dishonorable! If they say no, I have a huge problem."

"So you couldn't marry her, but you could father a child and then abandon him and his mother and go commit seppuku or something," she said flippantly as she fixed him with a death glare.

He flattened his ears against his head and backed away in submission. She was being unusually aggressive lately, and he didn't know what it was all about. "Kagome, is something wrong?" he ventured nervously. "You never act like this."

She blinked at him, then suddenly burst into tears. "I'm so sorry!" she sobbed. "I'm so sorry, Inuyasha! It's just . . . it's just that everything is so sudden! That and all the hormones and stuff. . . . These mood swings are supposed to be normal, but I feel so awful!"

He got over his initial surprise and moved to sit beside her, his arm across her shoulders while he wiped tears from her face with his other thumb. "Shh. It's okay. It isn't your fault. I know that crazy stuff is happening to your body, and I suppose it's pretty scary. Just know I'm here for you, and I won't let anything bad happen to you."

"I love you," she whispered, wrapping her arms around his neck and burying her face in his hair.

He held her like that for a while before she sat up. "I'm so afraid of what my mom will say. She's not going to be at all happy, and I hope she lets us keep the baby. You know, as much as it would change our lives, I couldn't bear to get rid of it."

"Same here," he said. "Even if we didn't plan it, it is our baby and our responsibility. And to abandon one's own offspring is unthinkable, inhumane. I would never let anyone take our baby from us."

She smiled gently at him. "Let's get this over with."

"Okay." He stood up on the edge of the well, preparing to jump down. "So I'll go find them, ask them, tell them, take what they dish out. Then I'll come right back and you'll be here waiting for me."

She stood up as well and kissed him gently. "I wouldn't have it any other way."

He ran his fingers through her hair, then took a deep breath and jumped into the well. The time slip accepted him easily, and soon he was five hundred years in the future.

"Buyo!"

Inuyasha looked up and saw nothing but the ceiling of the building, but he knew Souta's voice. He jumped out, and pushed open the door. The young boy was chasing his cat around the shrine yard, and the little fuzzball was moving pretty fast considering how overweight and pampered he was. Souta didn't have a chance.

"Inuyasha!" he called, noticing the young man for the first time. "You can run fast! Catch Buyo for me!"

Inuyasha grinned. A little exercise would do wonders for his jangled nerves. "I'm on it!" he said, taking off after the cat and committing its scent to memory.

Then the cat smelled him. It paused momentarily, then bolted for the stairs leading out of the shrine.

"Oi!" the hanyou yelled. "Buyo! Come back here!" He sprinted after it at the only pace that wouldn't overtake it completely, relishing the thrill of the chase. "Buyo!" The stairs flew past under his feet, and his red haori streamed behind him.

Then suddenly the surface under his feet changed. Instead of smooth stone, it was now some sort of hot, sticky, rough surface. He slowed slightly, and a piercing scream split his head in two. He lifted his head in time to see the huge metal monster bearing down on him, sunlight reflecting off its huge glass eye as it continued to scream. His senses were reeling, unable to process anything, and his ears hurt so much that his brain was practically numb.

And then it pulled him under. His foot was crushed instantly, and then the horrible beast tossed him about below it as another high-pitched scream combined with the first alto one. He thought it would never end.

And then his world exploded into pain.

He screamed. At the top of his lungs, with all the feral might that was left in his battered body. All he could think of was the pain. All he could see was red. He passed in and out of consciousness rapidly, and still the scream continued, ripped forth from him by the unbearable agony.

Flashing lights and rushed, muffled voices worked their way somehow into his brain, and he thought he recognized Kagome's mother briefly before he surrendered to the darkness.

The sun was high in the sky, and Kagome was worried. Inuyasha had been gone for over an hour, and she hadn't thought it would really be that difficult. Mom must be giving him a really hard time, she thought. Maybe I should go . . . back him up. She looked at the well beside her, then jumped in.

It was very quiet at the shrine. She looked around, then headed up to the house. As soon as she entered the kitchen, Souta latched onto her.

"Kagome! Kagome! Kagome! You're here! What took you so long?! I was all alone! It was so awful! Kagome! Kagome!"

She pulled the hysterical boy off her and crouched to look him in the eye, holding him at arms' length. "Souta! What's wrong?"

"They-they-they-they-they-"

"They what, Souta? Tell me what happened!" She was scared now - her brother hadn't acted like this in years. Something really terrible must have happened.

"They came and they took Inuyasha in the ambulance! It was so awful, there was blood everywhere and he wouldn't stop screaming-"

"WHAT?" She suddenly felt as if she would faint. "Souta - I - how? What happened? Where is Inuyasha, where's mom and Jii-chan?" She knew she was about to panic, and the crying boy in front of her wasn't helping things.

"He-he-he-he was chasing Buyo for me and he-he-he-he-he ran into the street and this truck hit him and-and-and-and-and there was blood everywhere, on the street, on the truck, on his clothes, in his hair, on his skin, on his face, on the sidewalk . . . and then his arm and his sleeve, they couldn't find them and they looked under the truck and it was stuck there and it was all bloody and pulpy and there were bone shards and torn cloth and it was all crushed and stuff and he wouldn't stop screaming until they came and they gave him some gas and-"

"STOP!" Kagome shrieked, covering her ears. "STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP!!"

The boy fell suddenly silent and stared at his sister. She was hunched over, her hands over her ears and her eyes wide and wild. Her breath came in ragged gasps, and she rocked back and forth so that he thought she would fall over.

"Stop," she whispered again.

"Mom told me to wait here for you," he said, choking on the words. "She said you wouldn't be very long, but you were. I waited so we could go to the hospital together. Mom and Jii-chan are there with him."

She reached out and used the counter to pull herself to her feet. "Let's go," she said, forcing control over herself. "Get your jacket. I have enough cash for train fare for the two of us."

The first thing that crossed Inuyasha's mind was that he was going to vomit. He tried to hold it back, but it was stronger than him and before he knew it he felt its acidic wetness bubbling out of his mouth and dripping down his chin and cheek. A cacophony of muffled voices began to speak all at once, and he felt himself being rolled by strong, firm hands away from the huge, dull pain. But the motion made him sicker, and his stomach convulsed again and again, spilling everything it had until he was left gagging on nothing.

He stayed like that for a long time, his breath coming in raspy puffs that made him cringe in pain, until the acrid smell had begun to fade and the hands that held him up rolled him gently onto his back.

"Are you awake?" asked a deep voice. It sounded so far away, and yet he could smell the human speaker - he wondered where it was coming from.

"Nn," he groaned. Where am I? What happened? He tried to sit up, gingerly moving his aching limbs.

"Hold on there, just lie still," said the voice, and he felt a hand come to rest on his shoulder. The speaker was very close, despite the distance he heard. "You've been very badly injured, and you're only just out of surgery. You'll come around soon; don't try to force it."

Inuyasha imagined the voice was his father's and fell back into unconsciousness.

When he awoke again he no longer felt sick to his stomach. Through his closed eyelids he could tell that the room was only half-lit, and that alone seemed to soothe him. As he gathered his wits in preparation for opening his eyes, he realized that something warm and familiar was wrapped around his left hand, and a comforting smell drifted through the air.

It was Kagome.

"K," he said, slowly opening his eyes and blinking against the light. Even at only half, it was painful to him.

"I'm here," she said, but her voice was muffled as well. He succeeded in opening his right eye halfway before he noticed that something covered the left. Strange dilute colors and shapes swam in his vision as he struggled to focus.

"It's okay," said Kagome's distant voice. "There's a bandage over your left eye. You can only use the right for now."

Slowly the colors became sharper and the shapes stopped swimming, and Kagome's face materialized near him. She smiled. "There you go. Great job. Just relax."

But there was pain etched into her face. "Wh . . . what . . ."

"Shh," she said, patting his hand. "Don't try to talk. You were very badly injured. They said you ran into the street and a truck hit you. That's a big metal cart I told you about that can carry a lot of stuff in the back and it runs on a gas engine. Anyways," she continued, slowing down again, "it hit you and hurt you pretty badly. Your eardrums ruptured, too. The doctors said you probably won't be able to hear very well until they heal, so don't be afraid. They said it was from the horn."

The horn? he thought. What's a horn? "Hn?"

She smiled again. "The horn was that big loud noise it made right before it hit you."

He blinked, trying to convey his understanding.

Kagome reached down and smoothed his hair out of his face. "Don't try to move very much," she said. "Both of your legs are in splints, and your right arm has just been reattached. They don't know how much you can do with it yet, or if it will come back at all."

So that was the searing, world-shattering pain he had experienced. The truck-beast had torn his arm off.

"Mama and Souta and Jii-chan heard you scream," she said. "An ambulance came and got you. That's a smaller, white truck with flashing lights and a siren. You're in a hospital now, and they've given you a lot of things to dull the pain and make you sleep. It's okay if you don't feel very well right now, that's normal." She chuckled a little, and he watched some of the pain leave her face. "You should see all the doctors here. They're so confused about you. Mama said she told them your ears and hair were just genetic traits or birth defects or something, but they were kind of scared. Oh, and I have Tetsuaiga now. Mama found it at the scene and gave it to me. I washed the blood off it, and it's right here."

She set his hand on the sword, and he stroked the hilt idly with his thumb. At least it's still here, he thought. And it doesn't seem damaged. "'tou." Arigatou. He closed his eye and relaxed into the pillow.

"Dou itashimashite."

Inuyasha's mind was much clearer when he awoke the next morning. He opened his good eye and looked around the room. Translucent shades covered the windows and allowed some yellow light to illuminate the room.

And Kagome was still sitting there, in the chair on the left side of his bed. Her head was resting on the mattress right by his hand, and she was breathing softly. He couldn't get over how adorable she was. He lifted his hand, careful not to dislodge any of the things that were poked into it. He guessed they were important, and Kagome had seemed very trusting, so it must not be dangerous. Just before he set his hand on her hair, her eyes fluttered open.

Inuyasha smiled shyly. "Good morning."

She sat up slowly and stretched. "Good morning. Did you sleep well?"

"Yeah," he said. "I feel lots better now. How about you?"

"I'm glad you're okay." She smiled sweetly.

"Yeah, but how are you?" he said softly, touching her hand. "I'll be fine; you're the one with child. You're delicate."

Sudden worry crossed her face. "Speaking of that, how did it go?"

He looked down. "Well, I . . . see, the thing is, I never . . . never got around to it."

She let out a deep breath. "So they still don't know."

He nodded. "Yeah. I . . . I took off after that dumb cat right away, instead of going to the house right away. I guess . . . I guess I was kind of afraid."

She brushed his cheek with her fingers. "It's okay. I don't blame you."

"Good morning!" chirped a voice at the door.

They both whipped around. A woman stood there, dressed in a nurse's scrubs.

"Uh . . . good morning?" said Inuyasha, a bit startled.

She smiled. "I'm Akemi, your day nurse. I was here checking on you yesterday, but you weren't awake yet, so you wouldn't remember me." She laughed a little to herself. "But you're up now! That's amazing progress. Tell me, how do you feel?"

"Like shit," he said sullenly.

"Well, aren't we a ray of sunshine!" she said sarcastically. "How's your vision in that eye?"

He sighed. "Normal. But my ears are still all stuffy. I can barely hear at all."

"They'll be like that for a few more days," she said. "Just until your eardrums are healed up." She picked up his chart and looked at it. "I have to take your temperature and blood pressure," she said, removing a sheath for the thermometer from one of her pockets. "And since your ears are plugged, we'll have to do it orally."

"Wait, what?" he exclaimed, going red in the face.

"Your temperature, silly," said Kagome, laughing. "What did you think she meant?"

"Shut up," he said.

"Put this under your tongue and keep your mouth closed," Akemi said, handing him a strange beige and metal thing. "It'll only take a minute."

After glaring at the women he reluctantly complied, and after a few moments the thing beeped. Akemi pulled it from his mouth, reading the numbers off it. "Still at 101.6 Fahrenheit," she said disbelievingly. "You don't feel like you have a fever, do you?"

"No," he said. "Why?"

"Your temperature is three degrees higher than is normal, and it hasn't gone down at all since we brought you in, even though we gave you some fever-reducers, and the lab results don't show any infection."

He shrugged. "I guess I'm just special."

The nurse looked at him strangely, and Kagome laughed. "Well," said the older woman, "let's see if your blood pressure is back up, then." She wrapped the strange black cuff around his right bicep and it tightened around him as she squeezed a strange rubber ball.

"That pinches," he said suddenly.

She looked up. "It does? You can feel it?"

"Of course!" he snorted. "Why wouldn't I?"

"Well ... uh, normally when we reattach a limb, the nerves don't reconnect for several days at least." She pumped it up again, and listened through a strange tube-thing as it slowly deflated. Then she scribbled something on the clipboard and took off the cuff. "Do you think you can move your fingers?"

He looked at his hand and tried to wiggle the digits, but nothing happened. "No," he said. "I can feel, but I can't move."

"That's okay," the nurse said, moving around to Kagome's side of the bed. "With the way you're healing, I wouldn't be surprised if your arm is back to normal in a week." She put the black thing around his left arm.

"It's not that bad," he said. "It was shattered once and it healed completely in about four days."

Kagome raised an eyebrow at him. "Did it really?"

"Well, it would have," he conceded. "But that's not my fault! That damn Naraku almost killed me; it would've been fine otherwise."

Kagome rolled her eyes and the nurse coughed. "Your BP is fine," she said, standing up and squeezing both of his IV bags. "And these will last you another couple of hours. I'll be back then to replace them. If you need me, just press that blue button on the bed."

He pointed. "This one?"

"That's it," she said. "Rest up. I'll see you in a few hours."

"Wait!" he said. "I'm hungry! Can't I get any food?"

"Sorry," she said. "Not after that incident you had right after the surgery. You can have broth and juice later today and solid food tomorrow evening, but nothing but water and IV until then. You've got a cup of water on that table there. See you later."

She left, and Inuyasha looked at the little cup with a bendy straw. "This totally bites."

"You'll be fine," she said, stroking his long hair which had been pulled back into a low ponytail by the hospital staff.

"Inuyasha!"

He turned again and looked to the door for the source of the voice.

"Mama!" said Kagome. "You're back early!"

"Yes," she said. "But I wanted to see how are patient was doing." She smiled and rubbed his ear absently. "Souta and Jii-chan will be by this afternoon. How do you feel?"

"I've been better."

Kagome scoffed. "That's not what you told the nurse!"

"So?" he challenged, before they fell into an awkward silence.

"So . . ." Kaiya Higurashi tried. "What's new?"

The baby, Inuyasha thought suddenly.

Kagome looked at him, as if she had read his mind. Tell her, she begged silently. Please, just tell her.

He nodded, reluctantly agreeing. Then he turned his good eye to the other side of the bed and Kagome's mother. "Higurashi-san?"

The formality startled her a little. "Yes?"

Inuyasha glanced again at Kagome, then took a deep breath. "Your daughter is carrying my child and I would like your permission to take her as my wife."

[A/N: I could put a cliffie here, but I don't think I'm that evil . . . I'd be angry, damn it!]

Kaiya Higurashi stared at him for a long, awkward moment, then glanced at Kagome with a nervous smile. "That's crazy! He's ... that's just the morphine talking, right? That can't be true."

Kagome just stared at her hands, too petrified to respond.

Kaiya looked back to Inuyasha, and struggled to keep the rage out of her voice. "And ... how long has this been going on?"

"We conceived three weeks ago, on the new moon," he said as calmly as he could. "We ... um ... I first took her as my mate about six months ago." His mouth was dry, and he licked his lips nervously. "I had committed myself to her long before that, of course, but since we're going to have a family now we wanted to have an official marriage ceremony."

"A ... a family?" she said. "I ... I'm sorry, Inuyasha, Kagome, but there will be no family."

Kagome jerked her head up. "But, Mama! I can't--"

"NO!" Kaiya exploded, standing up suddenly. "I cannot allow you to ruin your future by keeping this baby!"

Kagome stood as well. "Mama, you have no right to tell me what to do with my body!"

"You are a minor and I am your legal guardian," she hissed. "I have every right to decide what happens to your body, and we are going to the women's clinic tomorrow to put an end to this nonsense."

"Wait," Inuyasha interrupted. "What does that mean, put an end to this nonsense?"

"Kagome is going to have an abortion," Kaiya said.

"That means she wants to kill our baby," Kagome explained, hatred flashing in her eyes.

Inuyasha's face filled with horror. "What?"

"Yes," Kaiya said firmly. "It's quite safe. Your little slut will not be harmed by the procedure, especially since it's so early in the pregnancy."

"That's not true, Mama! There's always a risk! It's more dangerous than you think. Those hormones could really screw me up!"

"Doesn't seem like it really matters, since your precious dog already screwed you pretty well!" she spat back. "An abortion is a hell of a lot less dangerous than carrying a baby to full term at your age! You probably wouldn't get to full term anyways, you're so young. That's a huge risk to both of you! Better to get rid of it now than let it die once it has a central nervous system and is capable of feeling pain!"

"How can you SAY that!" Tears suddenly fell down her face. "How can you kill something so innocent? You're not even giving it a chance at life!"

"Don't I get a say in this?" Inuyasha had sunk back into the pillows. His face was very pale and he was beginning to hyperventilate. "It's my child, too. Don't I have a say in my own pup's future?"

"And what would you like to add?" Kaiya growled. "It was your perverted animal lust that put my daughter's life in danger. Though I suppose you and your dick should get a chance to speak your piece."

"Mama! I take offen-"

"Let. Your. Man. Whore. Talk."

Kagome's mouth snapped shut. She had never seen her mother so angry.

"I ... I know you're not happy with this, Higurashi-san," Inuyasha said weakly. "But as the child's father, I feel like I should have some rights in this. In the Sengoku Jidai I would have complete control, no matter what my age. As it is, I'm pushing seventy. And here, if you go by birthdate, I'm over four hundred years old. Surely I'm old enough to have some legal power."

"But no one knows you exist," she taunted. "You're not legally a Japanese citizen, and you're not a citizen of any other modern country, either. No matter where you go, you're an illegal alien. You have no rights at all, even though you're four hundred."

He stared at her, then at Kagome. "It's true," she said, and breathed a sigh of defeat. "As far as the government is concerned, you don't exist."

He leaned back and closed his eye, his head pounding. "You should have let me die," he murmured. "You should have just let me die."

"What?" the two women asked together.

"This is the worst dishonor I can imagine," he groaned. "I'm completely powerless to defend my family, my offspring. Take Tetsusaiga and end my wretched existence now. I am no longer worthy of life." He lifted his chin to expose his throat, jaw clenched tightly. "Please," he begged, tears falling down his cheek. "For pity's sake, just kill me."

Kaiya was shocked speechless. She stared at the boy lying exposed and vulnerable on the bed, at the tears streaming down his face.

"Please," he whimpered. "If I had the strength to do it myself, I would." He opened his golden eye and looked up imploringly at Kagome. "Koishii, please. Take Tetsusaiga and do it yourself. I have dishonored you and your family, and without the baby I can't justify living like this."

The couple stared at each other, their eyes reflecting their mutual pain. Inuyasha was very serious, and Kagome knew it. If he could move his arms, she knew he would take his own life without a second thought or a hint of regret.

But Inuyasha also knew that Kagome would never take a life unless it endangered others, and she would never dream of harming him. They were at an impasse, and didn't know how they could proceed.

Then something inside Kaiya broke, and she saw what she had done to this boy - no, this man - who understood honor far better than she ever would. She also saw what she had done to Kagome, to her dear, precious daughter, whom she had sworn never to harm.

She made a choking sound and backed away from the bed.

The couple's heads snapped to face her, and their harsh gaze made her nervous.

"I have to go," she whispered, and nearly ran the nurse over on her way out.

A/N: "Seppuku" = ritual suicide performed by dishonored samurai

"Arigatou" = thank you

"Dou itashimashite" = you're welcome/it's nothing

"Koishii" = beloved

Review please! Even if it's nothing, I love reviews! And please tell me what you want to happen! My muse and I don't always agree, especially since he doesn't know the show very well, so I want your opinions and ideas!