Chapter 4

The next few weeks were full of tension, and apparently the entire newsroom was beginning to notice that something was amiss. Speculation ran rapid that the two must have had a lovers quarrel, although it was generally regarded as a joke. It was widely known that while Clark adored Lois, she in turn seemed to have a crush on Metropolis's flying superhero. After a few days, though, their odd behavior was ignored, and it became old news.

Their work, on the other hand, which was being affected negatively by their attitude, was being scrutinized by one very important person.

"Lane, my office, pronto." Perry called from his office door.

Sighing, Lois rose from her desk shooting a dirty look at Clark's empty chair. Grabbing her notepad, she headed to her boss' office.

"Perry," she said glumly as she sat down in the waiting chair across from his desk.

"Lois, I haven't heard anything from you two this week. I've seen your partner disappear, and you keep telling me he's meeting with a source, but I haven't gotten a story yet."

"It's been a slow week," she offered lamely.

"I also see that when the two of you are together, you don't seem to be communicating very well. Where's the fire? Where's my hottest reporting team? I don't know what the problem is, but fix it." Perry's voice held a finality that she was unused to being on the receiving end of. "That's all, you can go."

Lois bit her lip to keep from arguing. She felt a bit chafed by the way she was dismissed. Usually Perry was softer on her than the other staff, especially in private. She didn't understand why he was suddenly being cold. With one last look at him over her shoulder, she left the office.

"Hey, check that out!"

Lois turned in the direction of the voice, and saw that a number of reporter's were gathering around the television bay. Curious, Lois eased her way through until she was able to see the screen. A voice off-screen was reporting on the severe weather that was taking place in Eastern Missouri. The week had presented showers and thunderstorms, but with the sudden appearance of a warm front out of the west, the mixture was producing tornados. The camera was doing a close up of an estimated F4 storm cloud that was on the ground. Lois walked up just in time to watch Superman fly into the core. She could only estimate roughly that the funnel was about a mile wide.

"What does he think he's doing?" she mumbled, shocked.

As if in reply to her question, the television reporter came onto screen with bulging eyes. Although the tornado was obviously far enough away from the news crew where they were out of danger, the reporter's hair was flapping wildly in the wind. "We just got news of what Superman was going after. As you know, the storm hit quite fast, and many people in this area, who thought the beginning signs were another thunderstorm, were left scrambling for cover at the last possible minute. We want to reiterate that these funnels are incredibly hard to plot when they've become grounded. This is the fourth hit we've encountered in the last 30 minutes. This particular duster took a sharp turn in this area and seems to have snatched a child neatly from his mother's arms."

The reporter paused as he put a hand over his ear, trying to hear the new information he was being given from the dispatcher. "It has been confirmed that the child, in fact is a 21 month old boy. The rest of the family is reported to be fine, although suffering from an extent of injuries, and terribly worried, without a doubt. "

The camera zoomed back in on the twister. "I have never seen anything like this in my life!" the reporter added.

Lois thought she saw a flash of blue and bit the corner of her lower lip. She'd never felt nervous for Superman before, but somehow the knowledge that he was actually 'plain old Clark' made it all seem closer to home. Her mind told her that he couldn't get hurt, but her heart, which felt like it was lodged in her throat, was telling her a different story. She bleakly thought about the mother who's child had been literally ripped from her arms. As she watched the funnel rip through everything in its path, she knew there was little chance of survival, especially as more time passed by.

"Wait, I think I see something," the television voice announced. Sure enough, the camera swung to the right and focused on a grit-covered Superman exiting the debris holding something protectively in his arms. As if the loss of its tenants had removed its fuel, the wind stopped turning, and debris fell from the sky in erratic paths. As the camera focused in on the superhero as he was flying, Lois noticed the blood on his crest and the pained look on his face. Her heart fell as she realized that the blood was from the baby.

"This is an absolutely amazing story. I can't tell you what the outcome will be on this one," the reporter concluded, watching the sky. "I'd hate to speculate on this, but the effort that was put out into getting to the child was just incredible."

As Superman left the view of the camera, the television picture switched to show scenes of damage in the surrounding areas. The newsroom community began to migrate back to their desks, many discussing what they had just seen and talking about other memorable natural disasters.

Lois sat on the couch in the dark. She hadn't turned on the lights when she came in, and the only light in the room came from the moon through the large balcony window, whose curtains were fully parted. She'd stayed at work late, doing more introspection than anything else. She would type for a few minutes, stop, and then erase the entire piece. Every so often she would glance in the direction of the TV bay, trying to piece together the fragments of information that she could hear.

The sound of something softly hitting the balcony floor brought her attention to the moonlit area. The glass door slid open and she watched as a weary blue-clad figure stepped inside. Obviously not expecting anyone to be in his apartment, Clark didn't notice the extra presence. Lois' jaw dropped as her eyes followed him as he crossed the landing, spun out of his suit, which he left in a heap on the floor, and walking naked into the bathroom. She heard the water begin in the shower, and then soften as he stepped in the spray. Still amazed, she walked over and picked up the suit, bringing it back to the couch.

Dropping her load on the couch as she sat, she felt the formality of the truth settling in her stomach. The past few weeks had slowly allowed the idea of her partner being Superman resolve into her consciousness. Her emotions had ranged from angry, to sad, to hurt, to sympathetic; never stopping on one feeling long enough for her to act on it. Watching him in action earlier today had helped to bring all of those emotions to a head. She hadn't expected the whole 'spin' thing though.

The water stopped and Clark emerged from the bathroom looking like the tousled man she knew, although his face seemed bare without his glasses. He had a towel wrapped around his waist and he bent to pick up his suit, which was no longer there. Confused, he reached to turn on the living room light from a nearby switch. Immediately, he looked at her, and she was startled by the aggrieved look his eyes held.

"Lois, how'd..." He stopped, and shot her a brief grin when he realized whom he was talking to.

"Clark, I'm sorry for barging in, but I was hoping we could talk."

"Sure, um, just a minute," he said, gesturing at his towel.

He came back in a gray Tee shirt and faded cotton sweatpants. Walking to the couch, he picked up the suit and took it to the hamper. When he came back, he sat in the loveseat across from Lois.

"Lois," he started softly.

"I saw what you did today." To this announcement, he rubbed his chin and looked away.

"You were fantastic," she added. "It was amazing."

He looked up grimly. "There should never be that much blood coming from a baby. Tornados don't suck people up, y'know. They blow. The wind was so strong that he was being tossed..." He stopped as disconcerting images flooded his memory.

Caught by his look and his tone, Lois stood and squatted in front of his seat, taking one of his hands in both of hers. "He's going to make it."

To his unbelieving look, she put a hand on the side of his face, and said, "It's true. I called. I knew you would want to know. He's a strong little guy, and you saved him from the worst. He's going to pull through."

He looked relieved and squeezed her hand. "They gave all that information to a reporter?"

"I have my ways," she said standing and assuming a nonchalant pose, which she broke after a second.

She grinned down at her partner. "I've missed you," she said softly, sitting back down on the couch.

"And I've missed you," he replied, unable to express what he really felt. "Even when you didn't know about me, you always helped me come down to earth. You're like my touchstone. Thank you..."

Lois waved her hand in a dismissing gesture. "Listen, I still want to do it. I still want to have a child."

Clark's brow creased again. A small part of him was rejoicing, and was urging him to give in, but a larger voice took over. He sighed heavily.

"Oh, yeah, sure, that's perfect. Perfect, right. You want to have Superman's baby. I told you before! I can't, we can't, I just... can't! Ok?"

In an ironic twist, Lois found herself being the calm one in the midst of an argument. "No, Clark. Not Superman's baby. Yours."

"Ah!" He said sarcastically, leaning back into the sofa. "But you understand that it's not one without the other- so how can you manage that one!"

"I know it's been a rough day for you, Clark, but I think you need to relax and listen. You're trying to confuse me and you're just making yourself angry. Relax... please."

He crossed his arms over his chest defiantly, but looked at her expectantly. "It's not possible. Why beat a dead horse?"

"You don't know that. And I will not accept your cover up of an excuse just because you are scared."

Clark's face flickered with a surprised look before he hardened it once again.

Lois took a breath and leaned forward. "I think I am the one who is supposed to be angry and hysterical here. Okay, listen Clark," she sighed. "When you first told me about... you know who," she moved her hand in a flying motion. "I was angry. But mostly I was hurt."

"Lois..."

"Let me finish. Your being secretive with me hurt me, while we've been best friends for a year now; or at least that's what I thought. But later, I started to look deeper. I know your parents. I know you. Even though I didn't know everything, I knew your heart. I realize now that the biggest issue that I have to deal with is my own embarrassment."

"What do you mean?"

"What I was really angry about was the fact that I've known you for over two years, and never figured it out. All the disappearances; all the exclusives with Superman. What it all boils down to is the fact that it was always right here, under my nose: the biggest investigation in the world. I can read anybody, but with you- the truth was so apparent that I missed it. I've put my life into my investigative reporting skills- and they failed me. My life's work amounted to nothing."

"That's not true!"

"Hold on, I'm not finished. That was how I felt then, but I'm not so dramatic now. Sure, it's embarrassing, but it's always harder to find somebody that doesn't want to be found. Besides, that was only the first part. What's worse than that is the way I threw myself at Superman..."

At Clark's confused look she continued. "My feelings for him... you... weren't real. And I realized that. See, Superman wasn't real. He couldn't belong to anyone because he belonged to the world."

Feeling nervous talking about her feelings, she stood and started pacing. "It was a safe game for me. I have had some insecurities about my romances, and well, putting all my dreams in a figurehead was safe because I knew it would never be acted on. On the other hand, as it was publicly known that I was in 'pursuit' of Superman, I didn't have to deal with anyone trying to date me, or fall in love with me, or... hurt me, because they wouldn't dare try to top the legend."

"But then you found out that he was real, and you had to face up to those insecurities." Clark remarked softly, understanding.

Lois looked at him and nodded. "The truth is that it was you all the time, and now I can see why you never responded! At this point, it's beyond embarrassment, it's total humiliation, and I can't blame anyone but myself."

She turned away from him and started pacing again. Clark sunk lower into his seat in defeat. He wanted to kick himself for putting her through this. Now, she was feeling overly exposed, and convinced she knew the reason Superman wasn't attracted to her. It was the furthest thing from the truth, but the truth was something he couldn't tell her.

"The fact that you never held it over my head, or let it ruin our partnership is... it went against every feeling I was trying to call up to hate you. Then I saw you on TV today, and it all fell into place. No matter what, you are my best friend, maybe the only one I've ever had, and I can't imagine you not being around. I want you around. You. Superman or not. Besides, now that he's not such a mystery, the appeal has faded," she teased.

Clark smiled with her, but somewhere inside he felt a loss. Even though he'd told himself and his parents that he wished Lois wasn't head over heels for Superman, it was a sign that she was attracted to him on some level. Now, there was no hope.

"After what Lucy and I went through growing up, I decided to never have children. I mean, I report on the news every day. I see the violence and the corruption. The longer I worked, the worse it seemed to get." She smiled at him before continuing. "At least until this incredible man flew into our lives. Why would anyone want to bring a child into this world? There is so much pain that we can't protect them from. For a long time, the decision felt right. To myself I would say, 'Look at your mother,' and that would be enough. Her example would just lead to a disaster if I tried."

She waved at Clark to stop the comment that she knew he was about to insert. "The thing is, it's really cowardice. I've always felt this call on my life to expose the truth, to somehow make a difference by allowing the people to make decisions based on the cold hard facts. No deception. That was... is, the goal. But, through it all, in the matters that were closest to my heart, I've been deceiving myself. Somewhere, in the midst of the violence and pain, something has got to change. If we all sit back and watch it happening around us, ignoring it and refusing to get involved, then we all suffer. The only way to change anything is to get involved."

Lois sighed as she tried to formulate her thoughts into words. "Yeah, my own family life was crazy, but then I say to myself, 'Look at Clark's mother,' and I know that it doesn't have to turn out bad. I used to focus on the bad, all while expecting worse. Working with you over the years, I have started to see things differently. Expecting better from the world around me... from myself. I don't know why it is so important for me have a child right now. Somehow, it just feels like the right time... and if you even dare mentioning some inane biological clock, I swear I will hurt you, invulnerability and all!"

After making sure that her glare and threat had been taken seriously, she continued her explanation. "I don't know the future. I don't know how all of this would turn out. I do know, now, that I can be a good mother, because I want to be. Maybe I'm not making any sense, but I think it's better to have a child when you want to... really want to, and are ready for the challenge, then some other time when it would seem like a burden," she finished, quietly.

"So, I'm asking you to help me do this. To be the donor... No, to be the father of my baby." She stopped pacing and watched him from where she stood, a few feet away.

"Lois, I..." Lois quickly closed the distance, standing in front of his seat and picking up his hand from his lap. She wasn't going to let him say no.

"Clark, this is important to me, and I know that it's important to you. You want children; you just don't think that it can happen. You owe it to yourself to at least try. Deep down inside you know you want to. I've seen it your eyes before, I saw it tonight- and I see it now."

"There could be drastic complications," he replied, knowing that his opposition was losing ground.

"Or, nothing could go wrong."

He looked at their joined hands and said, "It would just be putting you in danger."

Seeing he needed reassurance, Lois climbed onto his lap and hugged him.

"There's danger everywhere, but we don't stop going outside. We can handle this, together. We'll take it one step at a time."

Clark sighed and put his arms around her to return the embrace. "Okay."