Disclaimer: nothing is owned by me.

Back again . . .

STILL having that god-cursed Writer's Block. Aaaaaargh.

Remember: I Own Nothing 'Cept My Twisted Immagination, which you don't see much of in this chapter (people sigh in relief and come back).

Well, hope you like. Kind of short-actually a LOT short-but good (I hope).

Chapter Three!

Flint Goes Crazy! (Darth Vader music)

Flint, brushing the last of that awful pinky-purply powder that that idiotic, stupid, lame, addle-brained kender had thrown into his face, grumbling to himself, tugged the chairs back into their correct places and re-arranged the furniture to bar the door, the windows, etc. Muttering balefully to himself, the dwarf sneezed.

And little particles of pink-purple drifted in through his nose . . .

Suddenly, the world looked a lot more brighter. Flint, having a change of heart, walked over to the windows and door and un-barricaded them. His head was starting to feel light, and he was beginning to feel awfully giddy. By the time he was finished, he was humming 'The Itzy-Bitzy Spider' and doing an odd jump in his step.

"I'm a little tea-pot, short and stout!" He sand airily, feeling more and more giddy. Dancing into his room, he began to sing "Dancing Pears"–loudly.

Going to his closet, he looked down at himself. No, no, these dour clothes would never do! Re-dressing, he eyed himself in the mirror. Perfect.

Now singing "How Can I Live?" and dancing, rather like a certain pop-star we all know, Flint dug into his trunk and came up with a bit of make-up Tas had given him as a joke. Leaning forward, he began to apply it.

Oh, he had to meet Tanis and that gang of youngsters at the Inn, didn't he? Laughing, Flint skipped merrily out the door . .

Raistlin, outside in his garden, heard someone singing a ridiculous song at the top of his lungs–badly, yet loudly. Raistlin looked up . . . and immediately wished he hadn't.

It took Raistlin a second or two to recognize Flint Fireforge. When he did, he froze in horrified shock.

Flint was dressed in a sparkly pink tube top with the words "Bad Angel" on the front in white, pants made of stretchy pink material with sequins on them, clunky high-heeled pink shoes, and a ton of make-up: blush, lipstick, eyeshadow, mascara, eyebrow pencil, curled lashes, you name it, he had it. All this was finished off with the lusty singing, the hip-hoppity steps, and the excellent view of the dwarf's bare, gnarled shoulders, arms, and hands.

Raistlin was stunned to the very core.

"Hiya, Raisty!" Sang out Flint, running up and hugging a traumatized Raistlin. Skipping back, he grinned broadly, resembling Tawny.

Caramon, drawn outside by the drawf's horrible singing, stared at Flint long and hard, eyes popping, mouth agape. Swallowing, blushing furiously, he turned to Raistlin.

"What is That? Raist . . . I don't understand . . . "

Raistlin was about to reply, when Flint began to sing 'Like A Virgin' and dance, showing off a broad belly. Raistlin stared. By this time Caramon began to laugh–hard. Kitiara, also drawn outside by the commotion, stared in shock.

"I've seen a lot of terrifying sights, but this takes the cake." She murmered, shaking her head, a slow grin spreading on his lips.

Suddenly, Flint stopped. Freezing, he looked at Raistlin, then burst out in a lusty chorus, ran up, and kissed Raistlin on the cheek. Behind him, Raistlin could hear Caramon and Kitiara choking with mirth.

Raistlin fell back, choking with horror at what he had just witnessed, swiping the lipstick from his cheek. Leaning over, he threw up onto the ground–hey, so would you.

Looking up, Raistlin saw Flint run up, grab a laughing Kit's shoulders, and hug her passionately. Skipping merrily over to Caramon, he said: "Hey, Carry, your sister's beautiful."

Shocked silence followed this. Then, Flint, laughing, skipped away, Raistlin staring after him, saw a passing woman grab her hysterical child's eyes, shocked.

"Hey, Kit!" Caramon whistled teasingly. "Gonna drop Tanis, are you?"

"Shut up!" She shrieked in fury, swiping up her sword and nearly decapitating her brother.

"I think we had better warn Tanis and Sturm." Raistlin said seriously.

"No need." Kit answered, jerking a thumb. "Sturm's already seen . . . did you hear him gasp?"

Caramon, wary of his sister's sword, said "What could make Flint so . . . crazy?"

"I don't know, but I'll bet this has to do with that kender." Kitiara said grimly. Raistlin said nothing, being too busy listening to Flint's terrible singing.

Tanis looked grim when Kit, Raistlin, and Sturm related their tales to him. Caramon was too busy laughing and avoiding Kit's furious hands.

"What the hell to we do about Crazy?" demanded Kit, waving a hand in the direction of the door.

Just then, Tas came in.

"Oh, hi guys! My, have you seen Flint! He looks like Britney Spears!" the kender giggled shrilly. "Did you see his shirt? No, did you see his shoes? I never knew Flint knew those songs. And, by the way, who's Britney Spears?"

"You don't want to know." Tanis said dourly, shaking his head as the kender giggled harder.

"First off, what do we do? Flint is scaring little children!" Caramon, unusually serious, had to speak in a low tone to be heard through Tasslehoff's laughter.

"We–" Tanis begun. What he was going to say next was never known.

"How can I live with you . . . ?"

Flint bounded into the room, singing "How Can I Live With You" at the top of his gravelly voice. The dwarf was such a ridiculous sight that the companions–with the exception of Tas, who was currently rolling around on the floor, laughing wildly–just stared, struck dumb with a growing sense of horror. Sturm fell off his seat with a thud, unconscious.

Flint skipped around in a circle, than ran up the stairs, singling heartily, then ran

down the stairs and out the Inn.

"I have a plan." Raistlin broke the horrified, stunned silence.

"What?" Tanis looked desperate.

"Shh!" Raistlin looked around for Flint, but he was nowhere to be seen. Leaning forward, he beckoned the others to do also. "This is a bit drastic, but it is all I can think of. Caramon, relieve Sturm for me. I–we–have a need for him. Now, this is what we do. . . "

Don't ya just LOVE cliffhangers?

Sorry to do that to ya. The songs-BOMT, OIDIA, Ballroom Blitz, are not MINE, I think that they were all writin before my birth. Anyway,you know who wrote them and that they are NOT mine.

Sorry for the shortness. Next chapter, The Plan. Almost all writin, should be posted around tomarrow. Sorry our beloved Tawny isn't in this chapter.

Again: rate me, flame me, etc. All reviews welcome.

Bye. Danke.