Disclaimer: Not mine, never has been and never will be.
A/N Life has been hectic, but that's no excuse for my lack of updating. It's more that I'm contemplating rewriting the last chapter, because I'm not totally satisfied with it. Hopefully, I will get around doing that soon. Thanks for all the reviews.
Fade to Black
Nick
So terribly angry and then scared. These feelings are rapidly exchanging in my body.
How on earth could she have done this to herself, to us. What was she think? Was she thinking?
Grissom located next to me is making me even angrier. What was he thinking, what is he thinking?
I desperately want to turn back time, to make today yesterday and yesterday the day before that and so on. I need to tell her how much I care, I need to show her. Sara isn't good with words, with expressing them or accepting them. I should have made her accept. I should have forced them on her. I should have done so many things. Actions speak louder than words...
Behind me they are watching the images from the room. I can't make myself turn around and watch them. A FBI agent asks someone located near me if we can contact her family. I hear Grissom answer.
"We are her family."
I can see him nodding towards me from the corners of my eyes. He can not say the words which are undoubtedly forming in his head right now, that I'm her family. Slowly I raise my head, tears still streaming from my eyes blur my vision.
Slowly he starts explaining what they want to do, they tell me they want to shoot the psychopath, they tell me there is a chance Sara will get injured.
I tell him "no". He can't hear me. I speak up and tell him "no" again. I tell him they can't do that. I softly whisper they can't do that because she is pregnant, she is carrying my child.
I don't think he has heard me, but I know Grissom has heard me loud and clear. He turns away from me and I feel like I'm being punished. I feel lost.
Sofia still standing next to me repeats my words. Who would have ever thought I would be grateful for Sofia?
I can hear everyone surrounding me thinking. They think about how Sara could have jeopardized the life of her child like this. I cannot blame them, but they do not know Sara. They do not know about her suffering. They do not know Sara feels responsible for all the abused women and children on this planet. I know and I have a hard time understanding, but I have to understand. I need to understand to keep faith.
TBC