Disclaimer: I own nothing 'cept . . . 'cept . . . well, I have my immagination, that's one . . . now for two . . . think . . . think . . . nothing. Darnit.
This was writtin on the full spur of the moment. Yes, mother, I really should be doing my homework, but . . . but . . . c'mon . . . I know . . . gremlins ate it! . . . no . . . positive she won't accept that . . . but . . . actually, I have no buts, but still!
No . . . that didn't make any sence whatsoever, did it?
Oh well.
IMPORTANT NOTE: Raist ISN'T afraid of bunnies in the real books, but, for the sake of this chapter, he is. Sorry Raistlin . . .
No, the american teenager isn't me, she's modled after my cousin. Sorry y'all.
There is no such thing as too much Monty Python.
Nee!
Oh, and there's a little intimancy between Kit and Tanis, but nothing that exceeds the Gomez-and-Morticia level.
Read, please!
Chapter I-Don't-Remember-Or-For-That-Matter-I-Don't-Really-Care-This-Is-Wayyy-Too Long-Isn't-It-Okay-STOP.
Kit And Tanis, A Little Pinky-Purple Powder, Far Too Much Ale, And, Horror Of All Horrors, Sturm And A Bunny Costume . . . Kill Da Wabbit . . . Kill Da Wabbit . . .
Suddenly, the stable wall at the Inn of the Last Home began to . . . swirl??
The brown became indigo . . . then blue . . . then white-blue . . .
What the heck was going on???
It continued to swirl . . . swirl like crazy . . .
And out stepped . . . the horror!
It was an American teenager.
She had spiky purple hair, midnight eyes, and olive skin. Her earrings were those of skulls and black plastic feathers, her shirt was large and pink, with the words "Tough Boys Wear Pink" stamped out on the front in bold black letters, dark bell-bottom jeans, a black long-sleeved under the pink shirt, a pair of tennis-shoes so ratty they must have been from the stone age, red finger-less gloves, and, in her arms was . . . a bunny costume.
A pink-eared, fluffy-tailed, white adult bunny costume.
The purehorror!
Looking around in exasperation, the teenager scowled. This wasn't her little sister's birthday-party. Not that she actually wanted to go. But this was perfect! Tossing the bunny costume away in disgust, the teenager lept back into the Portal, grinning to herself. Talk about lucky breaks! So much for Miss Big-Sister Bunny Lady!
The Portal closed behind her, leaving the bunny costume to just lay there on the dirt.
----
Kit sat the ale mug back on the table with a bang, her eyes bright as the pinky-purple powder swirling in the drink slid down her throat and hit the stomache. Tanis did the same thing, his eyes even brighter than Kit's.
"Damn good!" breathed Kit, looking around for Otik. Raising her arm, she curled her hand into a fist and called out "Two more ales, barkeep!"
Beaming, Otik caried two more over. "Second draw from the new barrel." He stated proudly, watching as Tanis and Kit drank them down. "Another?"
Kit nodded, grinning, her dark eyes sliding slyly over to meet Tanis's, her hand creeping over to tickle his arm. Tanis playfully caught her fingers, kissing them one by one, then starting up her arm, Gomez style.
By the time they stopped, Kit and Tanis had drank the entire barrel, which,needless to say, was filled with purple-pink powder. Now both were eyeing each other salaciously, very, very close.
"You like?" Kit asked cutely, leaning over the table so that her liquid brown eyes were level with Tanis's.
"Delicious." Tanis grinned maniacly, sliding his hand through her curls.
"I will rule the world." Kit said dreamily, grinning. "I will rule the world, me and my force of . . . kender gremlins! And mosquitos! Bwahahahahahaha!" flinging her headback, Kitiara laughed evilly, succeeding in scaring all the patrons at the Inn and making the birds take flight and cloud the sky, dogs whimper, and cats to hiss. Tanis joined in, and the two laughed maniacly for a full five minutes.
Completely forgetting a tied-up and slumbering Flint, the two left the room, arms entwined, eyes locked.
----
Sturm, running away from a bored, tied-up Tas, neared the Inn and . . . tripped over something and fell on his face in the dirt.
"Yeow!" he cried, kneeling and rubbing his nose. Giggling, he stood, and began to dance.
And realized that he was stepping on a white thing.
A large white thing.
A large, furry, pink-eared, cotton-tailed thing.
A rabbit costume.
"Huh?" Sturm asked aloud, peering down at the Dreaded Thing. Something stirred in his mind . . . bunnies . . . Look, Raist . . . Raist . . . he didn't like that darned-'n-damned mage . . . wait a minute . . . bingo.
Giggling like mad, Sturm picked up the trample bunny costume and brushed it off, the n pulled it one. Slipping the hood over her head and his legs and arms into the ridcolous costume, then zippering it up, not even thinking about the fact that zippers hadn't been invented yet, Sturm thought that he was quite terrifying.
A group of children looked over, then screamed and ran away in terror.
To a child, a bunny is fine. A large bunny is fine, and perfectly tolerable.
But a grown man, giggling, with a manical light in his eyes and pink-purple powder in his mustache, dressed in a bunny costume, is just plain wrong.
No wonder the poor children were horrified.
The real horror, however, was yet to come.
duh duh duh . . .
----
Tas was begining to feel the effects of the mystical powder.
First, his fingers got real tingly. Then his arms and legs got all tingly and a warm, bubbly sensation flowed through him, causing him to giggle at the merest thought of a normally moderatly funny thing. Then his mind began to wander. Bored, he began to free himself.
Once back on the ground, the kender looked over and saw Tanis's home. His interest level rising, the kender skipped merrily over to Tanis's home. Entering, he spied a bow and a quivver of arrows, and picked them up and, shouldering them, left the home.
Walking out the door, he spied a large . . . bunny.
One thought struck him.
"Kill da wabbit." Tas sang, hefting the bow and running after Sturm.
----
Raistlin and Caramon left their home, having been done with lunch, and walked outside and onto the ground. Raistlin sat underneath a tree and began to study one of his books while Caramon just stood there looking stupid.
"Hey, Raist, what's a giant bunny doing there?" Caramon asked, having been considerably taken aback to spy Sturm waddling up to them.
"Giant bunny. . . ?" Raist murmered, lifting up his head and spying Sturm. His eyes widened in terror and his skin paled.
"Look, Raist!" Caramon cried out in surprise. "Uh . . . giant bunnies!"
"AAAAAAAAH!" screamed Raistlin, leaping to his feet and running back up the ladder.
Sturm and Caramon looked inquisitively at each other.
"No idea." Caramon said cheerfully.
Sturm smile at Caramon; a smile that made him shudder. It was the same kind of smile Kit had given him when she forced him to take a bath . . .
Sturm held out his arms and began to sing hypnotically. "I love you, you love me, we're a hap-py fam-i-ly . . . "
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Caramon screamed in terror, bolting after his twin at lightning speed.
Ok . . . shorter than I planned . . . but still relatively good.
Please review, I need to know what you think!!
Next chapter: Pure Chaos, wherein Raist finds out impotant information.