A Loony Kender Chapter 8: Tawny Does A Horifying Thing And Raistlin Makes An Interesting Discovery, a dragonlance fanfic

Back again. . .

Disclaimer: I claim only Tawny, who was inspired by my two best friends, Alice and Deli-espeically Deli. Yes, Delta-Echo, I am calling you Deli, simply cuz it annoys the heck outa you.

Note: I am using a good bit of my twisted and sick and warped and weird imagination in this chappie! Duh duh duh!

No! Hey, wait, stop screaming and come back here!

O-o well, for those who haven't run away, try to see how long you can keep from laughing, I dare ya.

Note: Sliddled is a word. How? I just made it up, so it's a word! Not nessessary a word in any known language, but a word nevertheless!

Another Note: the incredibly boring bit that Tawny uses to put the Companions asleep comes from my science book. Please skip it, unless, of course, you LIKE it . . .

Chapter Seven!

Tawny Does A Horifying Thing And Raistlin Makes An Interesting Discovery.

Tawny sliddled down the tree, where Sturm the Giant Bunny, Tanis the Shakespearian, Kitiara the Demented Fairy Godmother, and a Kill-Da-Wabbit-crazed Tas were coughing in the sudden downpour of mystical Moon Loon powder. Retrieving a rope from one of her many pouches, Tawny, yelping like a demon fresh out of the Abyss, herded the helpless four to a tree and tied them to it. Ignoring the Shakespeare recitals, horrible singing, and drunken giggles, she stood before them and began to recite:

"Earth's atmosphere can consist of anywhere from near zero to about four percent water vapor by volume. Water vapor in Earth's atmosphere has several important roles. Clouds need it to, therefore water vapor is the source of rain, sleet, and snow. But the role of water vapor in the atmosphere is even more complex."

Tanis, Sturm, Tas, and Kit were asleep by the second word.

Grinning, Tawny whipped out (ugh!) powder, lipstick, eyeshadow, blush, mascara, red paint, eyebrow pencil, various tiny cans of paint, and permanet marker . . .

Twenty minutes later, Tawny stepped back to observe her work.

Tanis had on bright red lipstick-both on his lips and nose-, white powder all over his face, bright pink cheeks, and black mascara, making him look like a demented clown. Kit's face had on so much make-up that she was totally unrecognizable, and Sturm's face was a battlefield of hearts, stars, circles, ovals, heptogons, squiggles, Kiss Mes, and various other shapes and words, all done in black permanet marker. Tas's face spotted tousands of circles, tiny ones and large ones, all done in a purple and yellow and orange and green and red and blue and white and burgundy.

Tawny collapsed, laughing so hard that tears ran down her face. Giggling madly, she got up and began to do a sort of demented tap-dance, shrieking with laughing every once and a while. once she got a hold on herself, the kender maid skipped up and yelled in Tanis's ear.

"AAH!" cried out Tanis. Awakened by the unholy schreech, the other three jolted away.

"A-ha! Tee tee! Chim chimmeny!" Tawny giggled. Skipping up to Sturm, she asked, "Why do you have 'Kiss Me' on your forehead?"

"I love you, you love me-" Sturm began to sing. Tawny frowned at him.

"OK, if you say so." going over to the river, after about ten tries Tawny caught a frog-a nice, fat, slimy green one. Going over to Sturm, she eyed him. "Are you sure?"

"Kiss from me to you-"

"OK, if you say so." Tawny shrugged, than pressed what she presumed were the frog's lips to Sturm's mouth, frowned at the eyes staring at her, and turned the frog around so that it was facing Sturm, and so that she was facing what Sturm had kissed.

"GAG!" he cried out, yanking his head away from the frog's. Choking, Sturm spit up every thing he had in his mouth onto the ground, coughing and choking.

"I asked you." Tawny absentmindly pocketed the frog, who croaked in indignation. Digging her hoopak into the ground, she began to leap around it, laughing manically as she did so.

Kitiara began to laugh maniacally with her, tossing her head back and looking at Tanis out of the corner of her eye.

Tawny stopped and skipped up to Tanis. "Good morning, dude."

"Give me the map there. Know that we have divided in three out kingdom, and tis our intent to shake all cares from our age, conferring them onto younger strengths." Tanis declared gravely.

"Really!" Tawny grinned. "Can I have the part with all the magical towers? Please? My Uncle Trapspringer-actually, he wasn't exactly my uncle, more of my mother's sister's husband's brother's father's sister's second cousin by marriage. Anyway, Uncle Trapspinger once went into a magical tower, and-"

The next part is deleted, otherwise we'd've been here all day.

"So, the conclusion of the story is to always brush your teeth, or else tiny blue opra-singing gremlins will envade your mouth and tap-dance the whole day away, which, by the way, got me thinking-what IS tap-dancing? Anyway, a guy once told me, 'Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat and drink dwarf spirits all day. I wonder, why would anyone do that? Well, maybe they-"

Kitiara kicked the kendermaid, or, to be more correct, Kitiara attempted to kick the kendermaid, Tawny having jumped out of the way just in time. Irritated, Tawny eyed Kitiara, then began to sing:

"I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves

Everybody's nerves