Disclaimer: I claim nothing except my demented imagination.

For all those who think that this is coming to an end, you are highly mistaken, I'm having wayyyyyyyyyyy too much fun with this to even THINK of ending it now . . .

OMG! I forgot Salem! smacks self on head

well, he appears in this chapter, I can assure you!"

Chapter . . . chapter . . . oh who cares

In Which A Bunch of Things Happen.

The unfortunate foursome, Kitiara, Tanis, Sturm, and Tas stood pressed to the tree withall the many ropes, drooling, heads looling, eyes fixed off into space. Tawny, oblivious to this, sat cross-legged on the floor, finishing her thousanth Uncle Trapspring story.

"And then this womping big crab got stuck in the gully-dwarf's pants, and the gully-dwarf, whose name was-uh-Rof? Was it Rof? Let's say it was Rof-well, anyway, Rof started screaming his head off, which reminds me, how is that possible? Can you really scream so much that your head just falls off? Let me try-(gasp) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-AAAA-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-gasp-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-AAAA-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" Tawny finished screaming, watching with interest as those who'd jumped 1,800,000 feet in the air came floating back down, and began to cough. Clearing her throat, the kendermaid continued. "Well, I guess you can't, since I just screamed really, really loudly and my head's still intact, oh-well, so, anyway, back to my story, Rof screamed his head off and fainted dead away, which reminds me, how can you do that?"

Raistlin grimaced as he removed his finger from the stream, glaring at it. "No luck, the water's lukewarm."

"You can still use it." Caramon suggested hopefully.

"No, I can't, the water has to be cold, my brother. Otherwise it won't be right."

"Fight!" Caramon looked wildly around. "Did you say fight??"

"No, I said-"

"FFFIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHTTTTTTTT!" Caramon screamed, wildly waving a stick above his head. Screaming his war-cry, Caramon plunged into the forest and . . . ran smack into a tree.

BANG!

"Ugh . . . " Caramon slid down the tree, rubbing his head. Raistlin shook his head at the stupidity of his brother.

"Oh, that was smart." a saucy voice spoke from the bushes.

"Whozair!?" Caramon, rubbing his skull, turned to look at the bushes.

"I am your master . . . I am the all-powerful . . . I am the RULER OF THE UNIVERSE! BOW DOWN TO ME! BOW! MUHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA-" the rest ended in a cough and a "sorry. Stupid hairball."

"What the . . . ???" Caramon bent over cautiously as Raistlin rose to his feet from beside the stream.

"MONKEYS! MONKEYS! MONKEYS! MONKEYS! MONKEYS! MONKEYS! MONKEYS! MONKEYS! MONKEYS! MONKEYS! MONKEYS! MONKEYS! MONKEYS! MONKEYS! MONKEYS! MONKEYS! MONKEYS! MONKEYS! MONKEYS! MONKEYS! MONKEYS! MONKEYS! MONKEYS! MONKEYS! MONKEYS! MONKEYS! MONKEYS! MONKEYS! MONKEYS! MONKEYS! MONKEYS! MONKEYS! MONKEYS! MONKEYS! MONKEYS! MONKEYS! MONKEYS! MONKEYS! MONKEYS! MONKEYS! MONKEYS! MONKEYS! MONKEYS! MONKEYS! MONKEYS! MONKEYS! MONKEYS! MONKEYS! MONKEYS! MONKEYS! MONKEYS! MONKEYS! MONKEYS! MONKEYS! MONKEYS! MONKEYS! MONKEYS! MONKEYS! MONKEYS! MONKEYS! MONKEYS! MONKEYS! MONKEYS! MONKEYS! MONKEYS! MONKEYS! MONKEYS! MONKEYS! MONKEYS! MONKEYS! MONKEYS! MONKEYS! MONKEYS!" the voice shouted.

"Raist, why is the invisble voice shouting monkeys?" Caramon looked at Raistlin in confusion.

"Because the author has issues, my brother."

The phrase: 'back at the ranch' means 'while one character is doing blah blah blah, another character is doing' and procedes to tell you, the gentle reader, what blah blah blah the other character is doing. So, in this chapter, the phrase 'back at the ranch' really has nothing to do with ranches, and the author wonders who the heck made this up?? But for the purpose of this chapter, the phrase 'back at the ranch' means 'back to Tawny and the poor foursome'.

Back at the ranch, Tawny had finished her Uncle Trapspringer story and was getting (duh duh duh) bored sitting there yammering her head off (she attempted to literally do this, but it didn't work. Too bad) and was regarding Tanis's drooling mouth with a maniac air.

"I know what we can do!"

No one answered, they were too busy drooling, making their heads loll, or staring blankly into space.

"Let's play . . . Twister!"

Tawny reached into her pouch and pulled out the game (don't ask how she managed to fit it in) and began setting it up. Tas began to hum 'It's A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood', Kit began to kicked at the air randomly, Sturm began reciting (flourish of trumpets) The Code And The Measure!, and Tanis . . . Tanis . . . Tanis . . . Tanis did something.

Tawny, having finished setting up the game, rummaged around in Tanis's pockets until she found a knife, and began slloooooooooowwlllllllllllllllllllllllllyy cutting the foursome free. Tas attempted escape, and had to be hit over the head, resulting in the distressing fact that he was quickly unconcious. The remaining three just stood and stared.

"What the heck are we doing?" Kit demanded, going up on tip-toe and spinning around, bumping into Tanis as she did so.

"We're playing Twister! Get on the edge of the mat!" Tawny ordered, banging her hoopak on the ground in time to her tone. Kit, Sturm, and Tanis skipped merrily over to the mat and stood at the edge.

Grinning, Tawny walked over to the spinner, and gave the spinny-thingy a flick. It landed on yellow. "Tanis, right hand yellow."

Tanis, grinning, bent down and stuck his hand on the yellow circle.

Tawny spun again. " Fairy Grandmother, left foot blue."

Kit stuck her left foot on the blue circle.

"Sir Bunny, right paw red."

Sturm stuck his hand on the red circle.

"Elfy, left hand blue."

Tanis bent over Kit to put his hand on the circle next to her foot. In doing so he managed to tickle her. They both began laughing dementedly while Sturm stared at them.

Tawny whictled cheerfully. This was going to be fun.

Two hours later

Kit, Sturm,and Tanis were twisted hopelessly together, resembling the Eiffle Tower, a pretzel, and a ball of string, all at the same time. Tawny grinned at them.

"Isn't this fun?"

No one answered.

"Ok, game's over, this is getting boring."

Kit, Sturm, and Tanis collapsed into a tangled pile of legs, arms, and tunas. (Before you ask, think of this: do ya really wanna know?)

Tawny, yanking them apart (this took several minutes, made even longer by Sturm's obsession with pineapples. Again, don't ask.) knocked them out again and tied them to the tree-upside down.

Then she began to tell another of her stories again.

Hi, sorry about the shortness, I'm just typing whatever mindless insanity comes tomy mind.

Please tell me what you think.

In other words, please review.