Disclaimer: I claim nothing.
Sorry it's taken so long to update, I needed fresh inspiration.
Hope you like this.
Chapter . . . Still Haven't Remembered Which One.
The Terrifying Torment and Ultimate Horror of Good Furbies Gone Bad.
Meanwhile, back to Raistlin and Caramon . . .
"MONKEYS!" the invisible voice finished, then began to hack. "Damn hairball!"
"Uhh . . ." Caramon cautiously crept to the place where the cursing was coming from and parted the greenery.
There sat a cat.
A fat cat.
A coughing cat.
A male cat.
A black cat.
A cat we all know.
"OKAY ALREADY!" Caramon yelled. "It's a CAT, for jeez sakes, get on with the story!"
"And I am not FAT, and to call me such is an insult!" Salem added pointedly.
"JUST FOR THAT, YOU'RE GONNA PAY!" a voice screamed from nowhere.
Suddenly, the trees hiding the three from Tawny and her insanity (and the disturbing sight of Tas, Tanis, Kitiara, and Sturm dressed in horrible costumes, wearing outrageous make-up, and tied upside down to a tree) disappeared.
"Should we run?" Salem wondered.
"Uh oh." Caramon muttered.
"Shoot." Raistlin spat.
Tawny had seen them.
Hey, they weren't hard to miss. Two people, one a skinny shrimp, the other a hulking giant, the third a cat, tend to sand out when the only thing surrounding them is grass.
Tawny squealed in delight. Her friends were getting boring, anyway.
"New friends to play with!" she called out gaily, grabbing her hoopak and skipping up to Raistlin, Caramon, and Salem.
"And that, my brother, is why you never get the author angry." Raistlin remarked to Caramon as Tawny approached.
"Should we run?" Salem wondered.
"Oh!Down by the bay! where the wata melons grow! back to my home! I dare not go!"
"I think we should run." Salem repeated nervously.
"For if I do! my mother will say!"
"And I think that's a good idea." Raistlin replied, shuddering.
"Hey, if a crazed kender female intent on 'playing' with us is rapidly approaching, why the hell are we just standing here! RUN AWAY!" Caramon yelled, waving his arms.
"Didja ever see a cat! singing a-da-do-dat!"
"RUN AWAY!" screamed Raistlin, Caramon, and Salem, and the three bolted for the woods.
Unfortuantely, luck was not with them.
Caramon tripped on a banana, falling foward on Raistlin, who in turn fell on Salem. The three collapsed in a heap.
"Get offa me!" yelled an irate Raistlin, struggling to breathe beneath the crushing weight of his twin.
"All of you get offa me!" Salem, squashed, squeaked out from beneath Raistlin.
"Sorry! How in the name of Ripe Guacamoles did a banana get in the scene?"
"Will we ever know?"
"Uh . . . "
"Never mind."
"OK."
"Well, now we have a problem."
"Oh, Raist, I already knew you had a problem."
SLAP!
"Oh, sorry Raist. I mean, now we both have a problem?"
"Yes." Raistlin hissed through gritted teeth.
"What is it?"
"There's a crazed, insane, loony kender right behind you."
"That is a problem." Caramon sighed deeply. "Any ideas?"
"How about you get off me?"
"That sounds good!"
"Then do it, moron!"
Caramon got off of Raistlin, who was looking very much like a pancake at this point.
Too late.
"Hiya!" Tawny skipped over to the three, grinning broadly. Only instead of her hoopak, she now held two lassos. "Come play with me."
"Not for all the steel in the world!" Caramon swore.
Tawny lassoed him easily.
About ten minutes later, Tawny had added Caramon, Raistlin, and Salem to her collection of upside-down companions tied to a tree.
"Hey, how'd you get me upside down?" Caramon wondered aloud.
"Pineapples, my dear Watson. Simple pineapples."
"Oh." Caramon blinked. "Hey, wait a minute . . . "
"Leave it." Raistlin said grimly. "Some things are better left unsaid."
"But she's just a scrawny little theif, how-"
"THEIF!" screamed a previously laughing Tawny, suddenly furious. Raistlin shot Caramon a Death Glare, or the best Death Glare he could shoot, considering the lima beans.
Some things are just better left unsaid.
"Oops." Caramon muttered.
Tawny glared at him.
"Now you've gotten me mad." She said delibrately, each word a sentence.
Tas, Tanis, Kitiara, and Sturm wiggled their toes as blood rushed to their faces. Raistlin, Caramon, and Salem, however, looked at the irate kendermaid in growing horror.
"And do you know what I do when I get mad?" Tawny asked, grinning maniacally.
Caramon gulped.
Tawny leaned forward, her eyes gleaming insanely. "Have you ever heard of . .. furbies?"
An onlooker (and there were many) gawked at the sight about the tree and shook their heads in pity for the unfortunate victims. For now, instead of grass surrounding the tree that the companions (not including Flint, who was still snoring away inside the Inn.) there were . . .
Furbies.
A million furbies.
A million laughing, chattering, annoying, dancing, pineappling, singing, irritating, cajoling, begging, whining, trilling, purring furbies.
The pure horror.
duh duh duh.
Raistlin, Caramon, and Salem were looking at the million laughing, chattering, annoying, dancing, pineappling, singing, irritating, cajoling, begging, whining, trilling, purring furbies with deep terror.
"This is torture!" screamed Raistlin.
"STOP IT!" cried Caramon.
"I'm too young to go insane."
"Dude, you're like, an evil wizard guy that got turned into a cat. You're not young." Caramon put in.
"Oh, you HAD to remind me . . . "
"Shut up, both of you." Raistlin gritted his teeth. In all his life, this was the most horrifying torment he had ever recieved.
Tawny skipped up to the tree. "Having fun?" she asked brightly.
"Nope." Salem snapped.
"Is there anything you need?" Tawny asked the cat innocently.
"No, I don't think so. Oh, wait, come to think of it, I could use a little FREEDOM!" Salem yelled sarcastically.
The furbies drowned him out.
Tawny laughed to herself, drawing something out of her pocket. "Guess what!"
"What?" demanded Salem.
"Tell you later, you're having so much fun with the furbies, aren't you?"
"No! Hey, wait, COME BACK! Ohhhh. . . " Salem began to cry.
Caramon watched the kendermaid's retreating back as she wound her way over the furbies, heading away from the tree with deep horror.
Raistlin sighed and commenced wiggling his toes to pass the hours.
"Pway with me!" one furby called.
The hours were going to be long.
Sooooooooooo . . .
didja like this? Could I improve it? Do you have any ideas?
Please review.