Disclaimer: The plot and the civilians are all I own…nothing more…nothing less…
Robin knew that soon all the happy moments would soon fray and he'd fall back into the memories teeming with hate. He didn't fully remember all that happened in the memories but he remembered the outcome. He didn't want to see the memories…he didn't want to remember them at all. But he was prepared when he saw the new setting.
It was dark and Robin could tell that he was in the Batcave again. He turned around looking for anyone and spotted Alfred rushing down the stairs
He thought about going into the Manor to look for his younger self when the Batmobile skid into the cave almost tipping over as it stopped.
The doors opened and Batman appeared lifting a limp form up and out of the car. He rushed him over to the table in the medical part of the cave; that usually was only used for scrapes and bruises. The worst injury the cave had seen so far was when Robin cracked three ribs getting hit with a crowbar.
Robin couldn't see who Bruce was carrying but he knew who it was.
Alfred ran over to Bruce who pressing down a piece of cloth on the wounded form's shoulder.
"Call Leslie," he ordered the old man.
"Already have sir and she is on her way," Alfred said calmly but if you looked at his face you could tell that he was in no way, shape or form calm. His eyes were panicked and what was little left of his hair was astray.
"Go upstairs and wait for her Alfred," the man in the mask said quietly. The form on the bed coughed loudly and the force of it made him jolt. "And hurry."
As Alfred hurried away Bruce held the form still. The coughing slowly subsided and the light seemed to shift as Robin saw who was on the table. He wasn't surprised when he saw a mirror image of himself lying there. This memory had been recent.
Dick opened his eyes from behind the Robin mask. "Bruce?" he croaked.
Batman removed his mask only moving one hand from the wound. "Yes chum, it's me."
Dick coughed again and Bruce winced as if the coughing was causing him pain.
"The Joker…" Dick started weakly.
"Don't worry about him," Bruce interrupted. "Worry about yourself. Leslie is on her way."
Dick winced in pain as Bruce applied more pressure to the gunshot wound as the blood kept pouring. Dick's eyes started to close and he coughed again jolting each time as they shook his body.
"I'm sorry," he said hoarsely.
"About what?" Bruce said getting caught off guard. Why was he apologizing?
"I got in the way," his voice was getting softer and softer. "You told me not to come because I was sick…but I did…Now the Joker got away." Dick stopped and his eyes fully closed. "I'm sorry Bruce…"
His breathing became shallower and it was apparent he was no longer conscious.
"Here she is sir," Alfred called rushing down the steps accompanied by an older woman with silver hair pulled straight back into a bun. Her eyes were kind yet became sharp when she say the boy on the table.
"Leslie," Bruce greeted breathlessly; glad that the family doctor was finally here.
"What happened Bruce?" she said setting her black doctor's bag down on the counter and putting on a pair of gloves. She moved over to see more clearly what was wrong.
"The Joker shot him," Bruce said stripping Dick of his red and green tunic so Leslie could see the wound better. She touched the boys shoulder and once she felt his skin she pulled her hand away.
"Bruce he's burning up!" she exclaimed. "Alfred come here and keep pressure on the wound and Bruce grab my thermometer out of my bag. Did you know he was sick?"
She started to check him over to see if anything else ailed the boy when she was handed the digital thermometer.
"Yes," Bruce said answering her.
"Then why did you let him out?" She inserted the instrument into the boy's ear.
"I didn't. He snuck out and the Joker attacked before I could send him home."
The object in Leslie's hand beeped and she looked at it quickly.
"Bruce he's spiking a temp of 104 degrees and by the sound of his lungs," she said using her stethoscope to listen to his chest. "It seems like he probably has phemonia."
"Doctor Leslie can we please get back to the gunshot wound," Alfred said politely as blood started to seep out from under the gauze he was holding. "First I think we should stop the bleeding then stop the virus. I don't think we'd much like the boy to bleed out now will we?"
Leslie moved her attention back to the injured shoulder and told Bruce that she and Alfred could more than handle him. So Bruce unwillingly left the room.
He threw his mask on the floor of the cave once he exited the doorway, and then kept on walking. Robin looked at it for a moment and thought of picking it up but he knew he couldn't. He was a like ghost in these scenes. He couldn't do anything to any object around him.
Seeing it there made him feel so helpless and lost. The cowl was supposed to throw fear into the hearts of villains everywhere…and there it was…in a crumpled heap on the floor…it looked pathetic really…
Robin was crestfallen while he looked at it…it was like Batman had given up…he never gave up…
That's why Robin never gave up…
He sighed and sent one last look to the fallen mask of his past hero…then decided to follow he prior mentor through the cave instead of watch what Leslie and Alfred were doing to his past self.
Bruce sat down in the large chair in front of the Batcave's computer; head in his hands. He sighed and Robin was surprised to see that when he looked up he actually looked more worried than he had been when the car had hit him all that time ago.
He got up and wandered over to the gym where he began to beat the punching bag at the side wall. He started out calmly hitting it in rhythms but then suddenly his attitude to the object changed and he began to pound it with every fiber of his being.
He attacked that punching bag as if his life depended on it.
Robin was taken aback at his attitude. What was going on? Bruce never lost control like that!
Suddenly the bag snapped and hit the concrete wall with a bang. Bruce stood there fuming for a few seconds punching air; not noticing the bag had been broken off its chain. He was huffing and puffing for oxygen and in between his pants he gasped some words as if to convince himself of something.
"My fault," he said quietly. "All my fault."
Then he seemed to realize that the bag had been broken but that didn't stop him. He dived on the bag literally beating the stuffing out of it.
"All my fault!" he screamed ripping into the fabric of the bag. Stuffing spilled out but he didn't stop. "Shouldn't have let him! Should've said no! Why did I let him! Why couldn't I stop him! Why did I let myself love him!"
By now there was nothing left except a small amount of scattered bits of the bag's outer coating and its stuffing strewn everywhere.
He was on his hands and knees now panting and gasping.
"All my fault…never again…no more Robin…no more Robin ever…"
Robin was bewildered at his words.
That's why Bruce told him to leave?
Bruce thought it was his fault he got shot?
Bruce blamed himself?
"Bruce…" Robin started walking closer to his mentor but then stopped when he realized that once again the figures here couldn't hear him.
Then Robin realized that it didn't matter if no one but himself heard what he wanted to shout.
He needed to hear his own words.
He needed to hear what his mind and his heart were screaming.
He needed to let it out.
"I'm sorry Bruce!" he screamed and he heard his words echo around the chamber, but the man kneeling in front of him didn't move. He couldn't hear his ward, but that didn't stop the boy. He kept on screaming.
"I'm sorry I blamed you! I didn't know! I'm sorry Bruce! I didn't know that it would last this long! It wasn't supposed to last!"
Robin's voice faltered and he felt tears behind his mask. His knees gave way and he fell to them holding himself off the floor with his hands.
"You were supposed to stop me from leaving! You were supposed to find me and bring me home! You were supposed to tell me that you needed me here in Gotham! You were supposed to care for me! You were supposed to…"
His voice wavered again. He looked up and he found Bruce standing once again wiping tears from his own eyes. Soon he'd been the strong impassive figure that Robin knew well.
Robin couldn't stop looking at him. Robin's eyes behind his mask were begging forgiveness but he knew he'd never get any. Batman was hard and cold. He'd never give him absolution from what he did.
A hero never runs…
"I'm sorry Bruce," Robin said quietly looking up into those emotionless eyes once more. He knew he wouldn't be heard but that didn't mean he couldn't hope for him to hear. "Did you hear me! I said I'm sorry! I'm sorry Bruce! I'm so sorry!"
He was still on his hands and knees when the darkness came to him again and this time Robin knew that he wouldn't se anymore. He already had been living through the memories daily since he'd been at the tower.
He'd always been hoping for Bruce to come and take him home. That was always his one wish.
With the last hint of light Robin looked his last on the memory before him. Then he shut his eyes and felt himself being pulled backwards into an abyss.
"I'm so sorry…"
Batman had just drifted off to sleep in the chair by Robin's bed when he was jolted out of his slumber by the wild beeping of machines. His eyes went wide when he realized that something was wrong.
Very wrong…
But before he could call for help or anything Robin's eyes opened and were searching around wildly for something.
Bruce moved into his line of vision and held on tightly to his hand. He hit the button on the wall calling for help because something was definitely wrong. He couldn't figure it out though.
Then he realized that Robin was choking. He was panicking because he thought there was too much oxygen in his lungs making it so he…
He couldn't breath!
Batman knew he had to calm him down and help him accept the amount or air in his lungs.
"Robin, let it breath for you. It's all right. Let it help you breath Robin. Calm down," Batman soothed.
It didn't help. Robin wasn't calming down; if anything he was tensing up as the amount of pain finally had the effect to wash over him. He shut his eyes tightly and arched his back painfully wishing it to go away. But by tensing up he created more pain. He clenched his fists tightly and couldn't stop his alarmed mind from telling him to resist the machine that was supposed to help him.
He couldn't breath!
"Robin calm down. Let it breathe for you. Dick please…"
He opened his eyes and looked up into his mentor's soft blue eyes. Bruce had taken his mask off for Dick to see him.
Robin relaxed a bit slightly getting used to the respirator but the pain still didn't leave him. His head rate slowed down to an almost normal rate once more. He wanted the pain to disintegrate but knew it wouldn't be possible except if he had a truckload of morphine, which he didn't have on hand with him.
He needed to tell Bruce something. What did he need to tell him? He couldn't remember. Why as Bruce there anyway? Didn't he tell that civilian not to have him involved? Oh well he liked Bruce being there with him…he knew he was safe…
Now he remembered. He had to tell Bruce how sorry he was…he had to tell him he loved him…he had to explain why he ran…he had to make Bruce understand why he said the things he said…he had to…
Robin tensed up once more as he remembered and his heart rate shot up once more as he felt the pain worsen. This caused him to rebel against the respirator once more. He shut squeezed his eyes tightly trying to resist the agony that was raging through his body.
He couldn't breathe!
"Robin…Dick please don't resist it…it's here to help you. Please Dick…don't go again." Now tears were in the man's eyes. "Not again."
Dick opened his eyes and saw the man's tears. His own eyes widened and he slowly calmed his muscles once more but his heart rate didn't slow down as much because the pain was still there.
Finally the doctors and nurses rushed into the room and checked his vitals. A nurse inserted a large needle into Robin's IV tube. It was most likely morphine because soon Robin felt almost completely numb. But at least there was no pain.
One of the doctors was saying something to him. He was explaining why he had a tube down his throat. Robin couldn't concentrate to much but he understood that he was explaining that they were going to remove it and he had to relax and breath sharply outward for it to be expelled. He then realized that the doctor was waiting for a response from him so he awkwardly shook his head.
The nurses helped him sit up then and the doctor counted to three but before Robin knew what was happening the tube was out and he was back lying down on the bed coughing and sputtering. His throat burned.
He took a lung full of air and was amazed at how sweet it was, not artificial like the kind he was just breathing. The doctor's monitored him for a few more minutes before scribbling something on his chart then leaving.
Robin took a few more breaths of air, coughing occasionally, before either hero in the room did anything. Finally Robin decided to break the ice.
"What are you…doing here?" he asked in between the breaths he was trying to catch.
Batman sighed slightly. "I know you didn't want me here but I came anyway. I understand if you want me to leave. If you want me to go I'll go just tell me and I'll be out of your hair and…"
He started rambling without even realizing it; losing his Batman cool.
"No," Robin interrupted his voice hoarse. "I like…you being here…makes me…feel safe…" he smiled slightly and Bruce smiled back at him.
"I'm sorry," Robin continued. "I didn't know…you blamed…yourself for what happened…with the…Joker. Wasn't…your fault…only mine…never yours…"
"Robin…it was my fault," Bruce couldn't believe the boy was apologizing to him for something that wasn't his fault. "If you were never Robin then you would never have gotten hurt."
"If I wasn't Robin…then I'd be…a no one. Being Robin was…my choice. You didn't make me…become him…you gave me the… offer to. What happens to me…as Robin is my fault…for my careless mistakes…never yours…never yours Bruce…I'm so sorry…"
Robin coughed sharply and his face contorted in pain.
"Heroes…never…run…" he said in between sharp gasping breaths. "Wasn't…supposed to last…not this long…"
"I know Robin," Bruce said looking painfully on the boy he raised struggle to breathe normally again. "I wanted it to end so badly. I wanted the fight to be over before it began but things don't always happen the way they are supposed to. I'm so sorry Dick! I failed you in so many ways…"
Robin looked confused.
"I was the adult. I was supposed to end it. I was supposed to tell you how wrong I was when I tried to take the title off you. I was supposed to tell you how much of a son you were to me. I was supposed to tell you that when you came into my life you took all the darkness out.
"When you left I was supposed to find you and bring you home. I was supposed to try and keep in touch with you. I was supposed to…I was supposed to act like your father…I was supposed to take care of you…supposed to tell you how proud I was of you…supposed to tell you how much I loved you like my own son…I'm so sorry…"
He burst into tears and buried his face into the edge of the bed.
"I wasn't supposed to wait for you to be shot…for you to almost be killed…before seeing you again…to tell you this…I wasn't supposed to wait…"
Bruce didn't look up at the bot he raised so he didn't see the shock or joy in the boy's eyes. Robin slowly smiled and reached out and gently put his hand on Bruce's head. He looked up and saw the smile.
"I love you too Bruce…" the boy said. "You really are…like my father. Everything is ok now…you're here…we're fine now…everything is alright…"
They both smiled among their tears…it was alright now…father and son in spirit were reunited once again.
"So," Bruce said wiping his eyes. "you have a team now?"
Robin nodded gently.
"What is it with you and redheads Grayson?" Bruce teased.
Robin shrugged and blushed.
Everything was going to be alright again…everything would be like it used ot be…and Robin was finally happy…
Reveiwers Replys:
KaliAnn: Did you like what I had Bats say? Huh? Did ya? Starfire does tend to brighten up any dark mood. You gotta love her!
Elizabeth Aiken: Yummy! I ate your plate of cookies and my bag of jellybeans while writing this! FoodFuelBrain PowerChapter Updates!
Insanity 101: Yup Bruce was yelling at Batman. I had to bring Babs up sometime in this story… they were very close you know…
CelticHeiressFiona: YAY! I feel SPECIAL!
Tonianne: Thanks for the review! I think its almost over…probably gonna end next chapt. Epilogue up next!
TeEn TitAn 14: Aww…thank you for saying so many nice things about me last review. It made my day.
Smileyfacedudet: It's all right. I know it's not your fault. School took over me too that's why this is update is soooo late! I just had to post it up before someone shot me for taking so long…
Clouded leopard: You gotta love the #1 Batgirl! I just had to put her in the last chapt. I think she might be in the Epilogue too.
Closetwriter: You're very welcome! Yea my brain doesn't work so well under pressure so I finally looked at the date of the last time I updated and I was like "OMG it's been a month? Better get writing." So that's why this one took long too. Get soo far behind! Sorry! Hope you liked this one. Wasn't as light as the last one but it was a little lighter than when it started.
Chibi Lauryn: I wish I had an excuse like yours giving a reason that it took so long to write this but I don't…sorry…hope you liked this one!
AriesFalcon: YAY my story is priceless! Your review started my writing spree up again. I spent two days writing more than half of this non-stop. When I start I usually can't stop till I am finished.
Zerath: Trying to hurry…really am…my brain kinda died…
Poopy Penguin: Next chapter is now up and I will be working on the Epilogue soon…if all goes according to plan…
A/N: Ok…now I must apologize for taking so long. I really did start typing this chapt the day after I put up chapter nine but I couldn't add more than two paragraphs before running outta ideas. I didn't really want to have to use the scene where the Joker shot Dick and Bruce fired him but in the end I had to. I hope you liked it. I really do. It took me forever as you probably noticed.
Ok so you know the drill…review and you will get the Epilogue and see some more people guest starring in it as well. And if you know any of your friends who might like this please pass it on to them….the more reviews the better!
We're almost up to 100 reviews now. I really started this out to be really short unknown fic but now look where we are! No one reviewed in the first couple of chapters and I thought of discontinuing this but then the first of my reviewers appeared and saved it! GO YOU GUYS!
Thankies so much!
TheDudeLordOfFantasy a.k.a. Kathleen