Disclaimer: Nope, don't own MASH.

Quote of the Day:

-B.J's early impressions on war-

B.J: I think I hate this.

The Sleepover Part 2

Chapter 8 (smiles happily)

The Sleepover Part 2


Poor, poor Radar. . .

My friends were all over him, drooling. I was concerned about his blood pressure. I mean, his face was impossibly red.

"Um, that's my cousin Walter, but everyone calls him Radar," I said, watching Jess try on his glasses. Poor Radar was too busy mumbling and stuttering. The rest of my 'family' was in the background rolling on the floor, clutching their sides and howling.

Then Klinger came in, wearing his shiny red dancing dress and carrying a large red handbag.

The girls saw him immediately and fell silent. I winced, and scooted behind Hawkeye, who gave me a weird look.

All hell was about to break loose. . .

"OH MY GOD, YOU POOR WOMAN!" Annabelle (the beauty of our group, mind you) screamed. At first I was shocked, but that shock quickly turned into intense amusement and I almost burst out laughing.

Immediately, the girls jumped from the couch and over to Klinger, talking about, well, this is what they were saying:

"Anna, look at all this hair! If I didn't know better, I'd say she was a he!"

"We'll just have to give her a super waxing then!"

"Don't you wear make-up? It'll belittle the appearance of your nose!"

"Try wearing black, it's very slimming!"

"No, you're definetly NOT a fire engine red. Nope, you're definetly a coral. Yep, a coral!"

"Try wearing plaids, it'll make your bulky thighs less appearing."

"No, stripes are better! Wear stripes!"

"Black'll do the trick, ladies!"

"But what if she has dandruff? Black'll make the flakes more appearing!"

"That's what Head'n'Shoulders is for! Duh!"

"GOD YOUR HANDS ARE CALLOUSED! HAVEN'T YOU HEARD OF LOTION?!!"

"Was God pissed at your parents or something to make you so. . . so. . ."

"Ugly, Jess?"

"Now, that's just mean Jen. . . But yeah, ugly."

"YOU POOR THING, YOU'RE GROWING A BEARD!"

"OH. MY. GOD. SHE IS?!!"

"Didn't God have any mercy on you?"

"Oh, you poor thing. . ."

"You said a mouthful, Cindy. . ."

"I know, Anna. . ."

Meanwhile, I was leaning on Hawkeye for support, clutching my sides with concealed laughter. Hawkeye was leaning on Trapper, who was leaning on Henry, who was leaning against the wall. The three of them had their fists jammed into their mouths, tears in their eyes.

Klinger did not look happy.

I decided to pipe up.

"Um, guys. . . That's my UNCLE Klinger."

The girls stopped. They turned slowly to me, horrified expressions on their faces.

"Uncle, Vicky? Did you say UNCLE?" Cindy asked, her eyes wide.

I nodded. "Yep. Uncle Klinger."

"Oh. . ." the girls said together. They began mumbling a lot of apologies, brushing off Klinger's dress, their faces beet red.

"Nice dress," Jess offered lamely. Klinger glared.

"Pizza for supper! Stove's busted!" Granny called.

"YAHOO!" all us girls screamed.

Now there was only one thing left to decide; what movie were we going to watch?

SORRY! I KNOW IT'S SHORT, BUT I'M HAVING WRITER'S BLOCK! IDEAS WELCOME, AND I'LL UPDATE AS SOON AS I CAN! Part 3 will come soon.