LefthandedFreak: I know this is totally out of place and really like nothing I've written before but I couldn't deny this craving. I LOVE anything to do with humor and just had to put this up. Sad to say though, the original story line isn't mine, it belongs to Mad TV and the characters aren't mine either. They belong to Kazuki Takahashi.
Josh: So what idea is yours?
LefthandedFreak: Substituting the Mad TV skit people with Yugioh characters!
Josh: Oh God.(holds up sign that read-)
Disclaimer:
LefthandedFreak does NOT own Yugioh or the skit of the murdering manikin by Mad TV. She just happens to be a fan of both. Please don't sue. All you'll get is one bent paperclip and a can of cream corn. Nor do I own Sailor Moon (that means I don't own it) and Funny Bunny (don't own him either)
LefthandedFreak: (Reads Disclaimer) Who wrote that?
Josh: You did.
LefthandedFreak: Oh, well anyways, I've listed the characters as who's playing who below.
Narrator: Me!
Crazed Manikin dressed in Tennis Outfit: Seto Kaiba
Store Clerk 1: Anzu(Tea)
Store Clerk 2: Mai
Photographer: Yugi
Man in cuffs: Ryou
Police Men: Rex, Weevil, Tristian
Janitor: Joey
Lawyer 1: Isis
Lawyer Mr. 2: Odeon
Jury: Yami, Merick, Malick, Bakura, Funny Bunny, Sailor Moon.
Honorable Judge: Pegasus
Now let's begin.
"We find ourselves at the location of what seems to be an ordinary mall. But trust me it may seem ordinary but it is far from that" The crazed Narrator spoke dramatically into her mike, causing violent feedback. In the background, the most normal of all malls can be seen with a sign that say "Normality" across it. The narrator hits her mike a view times before smiling and turning back to the readers.
"What you are about to witness is the most horrifying of horrors. The most terrifying of all terrors the most-"
"Hey lady want a hot dog?" a random vendor strolled up to her, hot dog in one hand and ketchup in the other. The narrator smiles nervously.
"Um, I'm sort of busy and…do you have any Mountain Dew?" With that, the readers are left not knowing the rest of the horrid beginning of the tale. What woes wait before them? How will they ever….oh hell, lets just get this show on the road.
Our tale beginnings in Anzu's Sporting Wear Outlet.
Anzu walked down the isle, inspecting the products that lay among shelves and racks among the store. She sighed as she saw Mai stumble in carrying a new box of orders to be unpacked. Luckily, a shelf was already for the fresh batch of clothes. "Hey Mai, did the postal service cause you too much trouble?" Mai sighed as she flopped the box onto the empty shelf, right beside a really crazed looking Manikin.
"A little. Those postal men really need to be placed on some leashes if you get my drift" Anzu nodded in agreement as she grabbed a pair of scissors and walked over to help her friend unpack. As Anzu started to cut open the box, Mai leaned against the shelf and looked wearily at Anzu. "Oh hey, did you hear? Some strange deranged Psychopath escaped the federal prison and has gone missing around this very area"
At that moment, Seto, posing as a deranged looking Manikin, but is really a psychopathic killer, but that really doesn't make too much of a difference since there basically the same, started to close in on our two unsuspecting Clerks as they carried on with their conversation, unaware of the danger in store. "No really?" Anzu looked surprised at her blonde friend.
"Yeah, and they say that he stalks a place for sharp, pointy objects and once he finds something, he kills all that he sees." Mai stated mater of factly as Seto came closer to the two. Suddenly, both girls looked at the manikin, Seto freezing in mid step, before shrugging and turning back. "Anzu, when did you get that Manikin?"
"Oh, I don't remember, it was some time ago I suppose", Anzu shrugged as she waved her sharp, pointy scissors just mere inches away from Seto. He reached out and-
"Hi again" The narrator popped up, chewing on a piece of hot dog and wearing a baseball hat. "How's everything with you guy?" Josh walked in and smacked the narrator upside the head. "Ow, what was that for?"
"For interrupting the show! Now I'm going to have to start them off with the next scene since I can't go back!" Josh fumed.
"Why not?"
"Because your blasted soda that you where carelessly slinging around landed on that part so sit down and shut up" Josh turned and stalked away leaving the narrator dumbfounded.
Anzu shook, scared and in disbelief that her best friend was dead as she did the only thing she could do: Call the police. Sadly, if she had been paying attention, she would have noticed Seto slowly sneaking up on her with the scissors he had stolen.
"Hello, Yes, there's been a murder! My best friend dead!" Seto creped closer, raising the scissors above his head and ready to strike. "Yes, I'm all alone!" He brought the scissors down and-
"Look at me mommy! I'm riding on the horsie" A little girl, not as little as she seems weird, is seen riding on a carousal horse as a strange man shakes his head in disbelief. At that moment, the narrator suddenly pops up, covered in film and embarrassed. "Oops, sorry guys, my home movies kind of got in the way. Won't happen again…I hope"
We return to Anzu's place to buy sporting good things to find her dead on the ground. Ryou is standing, handcuffed as Weevil and Rex grin nastily at him. "I'm telling you, I didn't do it!" Ryou cried desperately but the police weren't listening. Especially the chief, Tristian.
"Yeah, yeah, that's what the all say" Tristian muttered as he stood next to one of the strangest manikins he'd ever seen. Suddenly, a little guy wearing reporting clothing from the old days, ran in with one of the most heaviest looking camera's around. "Who are you?"
The little guy wheezed as he got his breath. "I'm a photographer for the Herald Times. Names Yugi. Can I take your picture for the paper after catching the fiend who committed this horrible crime"
But I didn't do it!" Ryou cried out in desperation. Weevil and Rex were starting to scare him.
Tristian beamed "Alright, I guess we could. Oh and, what's with the old get up?" Tristian addressed Yugi's odd-looking appearance.
"It adds affect to the story." Yugi replied and set up his camera. "Alright, place the killer in the middle"
"But I wouldn't hurt a fly", suddenly, a fly flew around Ryou's head causing him to become aggravated with the buzzing noise and swatting it. The others looked at him. "That doesn't count". Tristian grunted and shoved Ryou in the middle.
"Alright now, Chief, I want you to scootch a bit behind the killer, to kind of make it look like you caught him unaware. Good, now you with the green hair and weird glasses who I think looks more like you would steal candy from some deranged preschooler than being a cop, move to the other side and next to the killer. Good and the other weird guy, stay where you are. Ok". As all this happened, Seto, our crazed manikin, creeped closer to the police chief and a crying Ryou, while raising a pair of scissors above his head. "Alright, on the count of three: One…two…thr-"
"OWWW!" The narrator cried in pain as Josh beat her up with a frying pain.
"Any more interruptions caused by you will results in your untimely demise, understand!" Josh said as he pounded her with the frying pan, just to make sure he got the point across.
"Ok…back to the show"
Pegasus brought down his mallet, as he referred to it anyways, calling the court to order. "We have all been called here to address a most disturbing crime. Mrs. Isis, how does your client plead" Isis stood up, Joey nervously following her example, wearing what everyone would know to be a janitors uniform.
"Not guilty"
"Alright then", Pegasus sighed, "Mr. Odeon, you may call your first witness to the stand"
Odeon, one of the most fearful of all looking Lawyers around, and not much of a hairstylist to be honest, stood up. "I would like to call the defendant to the stand. Mr. Joseph Wheeler" Joey stood up from his place beside Isis and made his way to the thingy sitting thing. (AN: sorry I don't know much about courtrooms)
Odeon crossed the room and stood before Joey menacingly. "Mr. Wheeler. On July 7, 2005, a mass murder took place at the local mall, 'Normality'. More than 200 people were murdered who were present at the mall. You are the only survivor. Why is that Mr. Wheeler?"
Joey smiled, "Oh that's easy. See, I was in the Janitors closet, doing Janitor things like mopping and sweeping and hitting on girls, stuff like that, when I found myself stuck in the closet. See, the door to the closet gets stuck sometime and I've been meaning to fix that for a while. Anyways, after a long while of struggling with the door, I finally managed to get it open to just find the whole place littered with dead people. Most terrifying thing I ever saw. Well, being as scared as you would have been had you been in my shoes, I took off running and ran straight into the weirdest looking manikin I'd ever seen"
Odeon nodded with a smile and stepped aside. "I see your referring to exhibit A" There, in the courtroom, was the deranged looking Seto Manikin.
Joey nodded, "Yeap that's the one. I'd recognize it anywhere because that has got to be one of the ugliest manikins I'd ever seen" Seto glared evilly at Joey and raised his fist threateningly as Joey continued, "-and – hey did that manikin just move?" Seto froze as everyone looked at it. Odeon raised a brow and turned back to Joey.
"Are you feeling alright?" Odeon asked a little confused. Joey shook his head.
"Yes I'm fine I just thought I saw that manikin move…but anyways, as I was saying-", as Joey continued talking, Seto turned slowly, as he has been through this whole thing, and walked just as slow to a pair of scissors on the table. " And I swear- there it goes again!" Seto froze as Joey pointed at him and everyone looked. Even though he was in a different place than earlier, no one seemed to pay any mind except for Joey.
Odeon walked over to the table were the scissors were and eyed Joey." Now Mr. Wheeler, if you are feeling ill we can always-"
"No, no, I'm fine. Anyways, as I was saying I'm pretty sure that's what happened." Seto started to move for the scissors again.
Odeon leaned against the table, his back to Seto, "And Mr. Wheeler, do you have any idea of what the murder weapon was?" Joey shrugged.
"A pair of scissors I suppose". Odeon turned around causing Seto to freeze, Scissors in hand. Odeon stopped in mid reach at the table and looked up at Seto, the manikin before spotting the scissors and taking hold of them, walking over to Joey.
"And now you are referring to Exhibit B. Tell me, how did you know what the weapon was?" Seto creeped up behind Odeon, reaching for the scissors Odeon so carelessly slung around.
"Probably because it was in that manikins hand that is now coming this way!" Joey pointed and everyone looked at Seto, who was now directly behind Odeon and frozen still. Odeon smiled smugly before turning back around.
"You expect me to believe that that manikin not only moves, but, to your knowledge, has the ability to kill over 200 people?" Odeon swung the scissors around, each time Seto tried to grab them and failed.
"You better watch slinging those scissors around that manikin might get them!", Joey said wearily watching Seto. Isis stood up.
"Your honor, I would like to change our plea to Not Guilty for reason of Insanity" Joey turned to Isis.
"Hey, I am not crazy, that manikins moving". At that moment the manikin grabbed the scissors from Odeon and stabbed him in the back, killing him instantly. Pegasus and Isis starred in horror before looking at Joey.
Isis crawled out from behind her desk, standing beside Seto, "Your honor, I change my mind, that's your killer", she pointed at Joey as the manikin raised his scissors. "He's a killer. A blood thirsty-" Seto stabbed Isis in the back killing her as well. Suddenly the jury members panicked. Sailor Moon jumped out of her seat. "Everyone run, that mans a psychopath!" She then ran right past Seto, giving him the opportunity to stab her in the back. Soon to follow her in her demise was Merick, Malick, Yami, Bakura, and Funny Bunny, running one after the other to there doom.
Pegasus looked at the mass of dead bodies and then to Joey. He pointed his mallet at him. "I don't know how you did that, Joey-boy, but you are a cold blooded killer! Your going to go to jail for a very long time!" Joey looked at Pegasus in disbelief.
"Did you see? The manikin did it! Hey look out!", but it was too late. Seto had stabbed Pegasus to death. Joey pulled his way out of the box stand, staying as far away from Seto as possible as he creeped up to him. "Oh, you may have been able to fool the others but you haven't fooled me! I know it was you Mr. Manikin and as soon as I'm out of here, I'm going to tell everyone the truth." He ran towards the doors to find them locked. Turning he found Seto right behind him.
"Oh Shit" Seto stabbed Joey.
The narrator sat in a lawn chair, the creepy looking manikin behind her. "And the moral of the story is: Don't let murderous crazy blonde's run around or they might kill themselves along with everyone else." Seto raised his knife and went for the kill as Josh walked in.
"Hey…Oh my god!", Seto turned and looked at Josh as he raised his knife to kill Josh. "Oh no you don't!" Josh threw a trashcan at Seto before making a run for it, Seto not far from his trails.
LefthandedFreak: Ok, so I changed a lot of the story around, shoot me. The whole basis of the story was kept into place so I hope you like it. Most of the ideas in here where mine but not all of them. Some lines where changed to match the charies too…but no I don't on everything. Thanks!
Josh: I don't want to die!
LefthandedFreak: (sighs) Review please!
