Hohum. As you know, my sis wrote some bad slash in a previous chapter of
this fic. Therefore, I decided it was my responsibility to punish her. And
so here it is: GubblebumPony's essay about why writing slash in my fics is
wrong! BTW, all the stuff that it has us saying and doing (enclosed in
astricts ** like this **) actually happened, and so did the actions. Just
for your information!!.............
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Why It Is Wrong To Write Slash In LegolasLover's Fanfictions- A two-page essay by GubblebumPony
~*~ GubblebumPony: Hello ladies and gentlemen. My name, as you know, is GubblebumPony.
*cheers and whoops from the audience*
LegolasLover: Oh, get a life Tiff.
GubblebumPony: No! I don't want to. Now, before we start, do I have to do this?
LegolasLover: YES. *menacing glance*
GubblebumPony: Eep...OK, but I'm only doing this for the fans.
LegolasLover: ...
GubblebumPony: Don't. Say. Anything. Alrighty, here goes...
Macquarie File Dictionary defines "slash" as:
slash / slæ? / , v. 1. to cut with a random or violent sweep. 2. to cut, reduce, or alter, esp. drastically. -n. 3. (a cut or wound made with) a sweeping stroke.
Therefore, I technically did not write "slash" in LegolasLover's fic. "Slash" is merely Internet slang for gay or lesbian stories. There is nothing wrong with poking fun at random Lord of the Rings characters by writing "slash" stories involving said characters. Unless of course, you are a homophobic. There is always the possibility that LegolasLover is homophobic. In fact, I am convinced that she is.
** LegolasLover: *thwacks GubblebumPony over the head with a 'Funk & Wagnulls' encyclopedia* I am not a homophobe!
GubblebumPony: Right... *rubs head* Whatever you say sis.
LegolasLover: *glares evilly at GubblebumPony and thwacks her with the encyclopedia again*
GubblebumPony: Oww! OK! I was kidding! LegolasLover is not a homophobic. But I think she may be slightly brain damaged.
LegolasLover: YOU'LL be brain damaged if you don't shuttup and get on with the essay! *brandishes encyclopedia warningly*
GubblebumPony: Eep...? **
So, where was I? Ah, yes, homophobia. Right. LegolasLover isn't a homophobe. That white rapper Eminem might be though. All the magazine articles I've read about him seem to indicate that he is. Eminem is stupid. Even more so if he IS a homophobe. You would never catch him reading or writing "slash". Actually, you probably wouldn't catch him writing fanfiction at all. Let alone "slash". I am getting sick of the word "slash".....
The Macquarie File Thesaurus gives many other alternatives to the word "slash". Such as gash, hack, slit, tear and lacerate. I like hack. I will now refer to "slash" as hack.
Anyway, back to Eminem. I hate him. Well, I don't hate him. I just dislike him. I have a problem with people who have a problem with gay people. Being Eminem. If he's actually a homophobe. Which he may not be. He has no reason to dislike gay people.
There is nothing wrong with gay people. They're just like the rest of us, but gay guys have better taste in fashion than straight guys do. Like Carson from "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy". I love that show. I just think that the five gay guys are so cool. I think LegolasLover likes Kyan. And Jai... he is so cute! And he has the sweetest singing voice. I love him! I love them all! *sighs* I just can't get enough of that show. And I think that my support of the show shows how I feel about gays and accept them in our society. Uh, yeah, back to the essay now...
Normally, I wouldn't write hack in LegolasLover's fanfics. Normally, I wouldn't write hack at all. But, well...I felt like it OK?! WHAT'S WRONG WITH THAT?!?!?!
Excuse me, I'm sorry. I got a little over the top for a second there...I will try not to do that in future. Yeah. Sorry.
Hey, I just noticed, I'm on the second page! Isn't that cool?! First the worst, second the best, third the man with the hairy chest!...ewww...gross. Lalalala... OOOOOOOH! Listen! I hear a foghorn!
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
HAHAHAHAHAHA! THAT FOGHORN THING IS SOOOOOOOOO FUuiuykhfd
Sorry. I fell over laughing. The word was, "FUNNY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!". I am sorry for any inconvenience that this may have caused. *spasm attack*
EEP OO EEAA FU JA NI COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
*end spasm attack* Sorry about that. I am truly sorry. I just went a bit crazy there...dunno why. Well, on with this thingy...
So I felt like writing hack in LegolasLover's fanfic. And I did. So what? It's not like I killed the story. Anyway, she loved it. She just won't admit it.
LegolasLover: I DID NOT! I found it slightly amusing, but never would I -
GubblebumPony: Yeah, yeah. Like I said, I didn't kill the story.
LegolasLover: Tiffany, look at Frodo. Look at him.
Frodo: You ruined me! You destroyed the plot! I am entirely humiliated!
GubblebumPony: Wait, where is he? I can't see him!
Frodo: I'm invisible, remember?
GubblebumPony: Oh yeah. I kinda forgot that in my fic.
LegolasLover: Your fic? YOUR fic?! *holds up encyclopedia and chases GubblebumPony around the room*
Frodo: Right then, my turn at the keyboard! *pulls up sleeves*
There has been a slight technical error. We are sorry for any inconvenience this may have caused. *spasm attack*
GubblebumPony: The End!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
OK, there's GubblebumPony's essay, written entirely by her. I'm not quite sure that she actually reached the point of this whole thing, but I found it funny anyway. I hope you guys liked it, and I'm sure she'll never write "hack" in one of my fics again...... unless it is requested or something!! Ciao! :D
- LegolasLover
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Why It Is Wrong To Write Slash In LegolasLover's Fanfictions- A two-page essay by GubblebumPony
~*~ GubblebumPony: Hello ladies and gentlemen. My name, as you know, is GubblebumPony.
*cheers and whoops from the audience*
LegolasLover: Oh, get a life Tiff.
GubblebumPony: No! I don't want to. Now, before we start, do I have to do this?
LegolasLover: YES. *menacing glance*
GubblebumPony: Eep...OK, but I'm only doing this for the fans.
LegolasLover: ...
GubblebumPony: Don't. Say. Anything. Alrighty, here goes...
Macquarie File Dictionary defines "slash" as:
slash / slæ? / , v. 1. to cut with a random or violent sweep. 2. to cut, reduce, or alter, esp. drastically. -n. 3. (a cut or wound made with) a sweeping stroke.
Therefore, I technically did not write "slash" in LegolasLover's fic. "Slash" is merely Internet slang for gay or lesbian stories. There is nothing wrong with poking fun at random Lord of the Rings characters by writing "slash" stories involving said characters. Unless of course, you are a homophobic. There is always the possibility that LegolasLover is homophobic. In fact, I am convinced that she is.
** LegolasLover: *thwacks GubblebumPony over the head with a 'Funk & Wagnulls' encyclopedia* I am not a homophobe!
GubblebumPony: Right... *rubs head* Whatever you say sis.
LegolasLover: *glares evilly at GubblebumPony and thwacks her with the encyclopedia again*
GubblebumPony: Oww! OK! I was kidding! LegolasLover is not a homophobic. But I think she may be slightly brain damaged.
LegolasLover: YOU'LL be brain damaged if you don't shuttup and get on with the essay! *brandishes encyclopedia warningly*
GubblebumPony: Eep...? **
So, where was I? Ah, yes, homophobia. Right. LegolasLover isn't a homophobe. That white rapper Eminem might be though. All the magazine articles I've read about him seem to indicate that he is. Eminem is stupid. Even more so if he IS a homophobe. You would never catch him reading or writing "slash". Actually, you probably wouldn't catch him writing fanfiction at all. Let alone "slash". I am getting sick of the word "slash".....
The Macquarie File Thesaurus gives many other alternatives to the word "slash". Such as gash, hack, slit, tear and lacerate. I like hack. I will now refer to "slash" as hack.
Anyway, back to Eminem. I hate him. Well, I don't hate him. I just dislike him. I have a problem with people who have a problem with gay people. Being Eminem. If he's actually a homophobe. Which he may not be. He has no reason to dislike gay people.
There is nothing wrong with gay people. They're just like the rest of us, but gay guys have better taste in fashion than straight guys do. Like Carson from "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy". I love that show. I just think that the five gay guys are so cool. I think LegolasLover likes Kyan. And Jai... he is so cute! And he has the sweetest singing voice. I love him! I love them all! *sighs* I just can't get enough of that show. And I think that my support of the show shows how I feel about gays and accept them in our society. Uh, yeah, back to the essay now...
Normally, I wouldn't write hack in LegolasLover's fanfics. Normally, I wouldn't write hack at all. But, well...I felt like it OK?! WHAT'S WRONG WITH THAT?!?!?!
Excuse me, I'm sorry. I got a little over the top for a second there...I will try not to do that in future. Yeah. Sorry.
Hey, I just noticed, I'm on the second page! Isn't that cool?! First the worst, second the best, third the man with the hairy chest!...ewww...gross. Lalalala... OOOOOOOH! Listen! I hear a foghorn!
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
HAHAHAHAHAHA! THAT FOGHORN THING IS SOOOOOOOOO FUuiuykhfd
Sorry. I fell over laughing. The word was, "FUNNY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!". I am sorry for any inconvenience that this may have caused. *spasm attack*
EEP OO EEAA FU JA NI COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
*end spasm attack* Sorry about that. I am truly sorry. I just went a bit crazy there...dunno why. Well, on with this thingy...
So I felt like writing hack in LegolasLover's fanfic. And I did. So what? It's not like I killed the story. Anyway, she loved it. She just won't admit it.
LegolasLover: I DID NOT! I found it slightly amusing, but never would I -
GubblebumPony: Yeah, yeah. Like I said, I didn't kill the story.
LegolasLover: Tiffany, look at Frodo. Look at him.
Frodo: You ruined me! You destroyed the plot! I am entirely humiliated!
GubblebumPony: Wait, where is he? I can't see him!
Frodo: I'm invisible, remember?
GubblebumPony: Oh yeah. I kinda forgot that in my fic.
LegolasLover: Your fic? YOUR fic?! *holds up encyclopedia and chases GubblebumPony around the room*
Frodo: Right then, my turn at the keyboard! *pulls up sleeves*
There has been a slight technical error. We are sorry for any inconvenience this may have caused. *spasm attack*
GubblebumPony: The End!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
OK, there's GubblebumPony's essay, written entirely by her. I'm not quite sure that she actually reached the point of this whole thing, but I found it funny anyway. I hope you guys liked it, and I'm sure she'll never write "hack" in one of my fics again...... unless it is requested or something!! Ciao! :D
- LegolasLover