THANK YOU FOR THE REVIEWS!
I promise I'll plan better and stay a few chapters ahead of posting the next time I start a new story, OK? I want to stop making you guys get impatient. And I'm actually cooking up a few ideas as we speak. Mwaha.
And Schwartzibrow, you're mean. Chapter four was not invisible. It's not even the invisible kind of chapter. It has super strength. And it was demonstrating its mutant powers elsewhere. Like in Microsoft Word and in my head.
Was It a Crime? Chapter Four
Needless to say, Michael was the only person I know who would end up in the Midwest and choose to "hitch hike and bribe" his way back to New York. Of course, he was also the only person I knew who would keep a crazy joke like this going for as long as he could. I wanted to believe him though. All of it sounded so magical. And maybe if I did believe him, he'd kiss me again.
Shit, OK, how absolutely pathetic was that just now? About a nine on a ten scale?
"Assuming all this is true- and, I mean, just assuming- how did you get mixed up with these, uh- what did you call them- renegade scientists in the first place?"
"OK, well, do you remember that Alex James interview I did for Crackhead about a year ago?" he asked.
Of course I did. Formally foxy and now humorously bearded bassist Alex from Blur? Who in their right mind could forget? The interview was so brilliant. Michael totally got Mr. James to bash Damon Albarn on record.
"Of course."
"Well, I kept in contact with him afterwards. We've been fairly good email friends for months now," he said, looking modest. Um, excuse me? It's not exactly polite to befriend a major English celebrity and not tell anyone about it. Or maybe blabbing is just what girls do. Who knows. "Well, he told me about a new space-oriented program he was involved in promoting along with Damien Hirst- you know, since Beagle 2 hit the rocks. He said the team of scientists was looking for a low-wage guy to take care of their computer programming and digital communication needs and asked me if I'd like the job. So, duh, I basically jumped at the offer and volunteered for free."
"Wow," was all I could think to say.
"Yeah."
"But how did you end up using the… thing?"
"The… Flecto?" he said with a grin. Jerk.
"No shit."
"Well, the whole Flecto experience was really just their gift back to me for what I was doing for them. It had been tested for weeks before I used it, so I thought it would be pretty safe. Plus, I wanted to go because there was something I, uh… wanted to find out."
"What?" I asked, somehow causing Michael's cheeks to turn a delightful shade of pink. I mentally noted that it was just the perfect color to paint my wall.
"I was, um, in love wi- That is to say, there was a girl that I…" He trailed off as his eyes darted from place to place. Finally, he seemed to gain composure. "OK, well, there was someone who I was somewhat fond of and I just, well I wanted to… find out if they felt the same way, I guess."
"Oh, right," I smiled weakly. I wondered who the lucky girl was. That fruit fly-cloning bitch Judith, no doubt. Or maybe Missy Schroeder. Missy was so gorgeous. And good at math. "So, um, Michael, you said you'd escaped. Where did you… escape from?"
That's it, Mia, try to change the subject to avoid inevitable heartbreak.
"Huh?" he looked taken aback, and quickly edged away from me. Wait, he was close to me before? Dammit. "Oh, yeah. Um, various places. The clutches of the doting elderly, you know. Wal-Mart interrogation rooms…" Before I even had time to furrow my brow in confusion, he continued. "There are some weird people out there, Mia. I had my own little odyssey of sorts trekking back here."
Like being trapped on a nymphomaniac sorceress's island? Is that what he meant? Was I, like, Penelope to his Odysseus? Must tell Tina about this. No, scratch that. She'd wind up binging on Greco-Roman epics and probably find her way to the Satyricon. Ancient male-on-male romance is something no one our age needs to read. I was probably just Telemachus to him, anyway.
"You'll have to tell me about it."
"Well, I can righ--"
A knock suddenly sounded on my door. Both of us froze.
"Quick, under the covers," I whispered, the two of us scuttling to look like just one lump under my duvet.
"What is it? I'm sleeping," I called, affecting a groggy tone of voice, all while Michael's right arm snaked its way around my waist. Hello to you too.
"Sweetie, I was just wondering if you wanted to, you know, talk?" Mom replied, still out in the hall.
Thank God she hadn't come in. And thank God it hadn't been Mr. G. I mean, it's enough that he went from being my Algebra teacher to knocking up my mom, he doesn't have to turn around and be concerned with my emotional well-being.
"I don't really feel like talking now, Mom."
Michael began tickling my tummy, causing me to squirm and stifle giggles. I quickly jabbed him in the stomach before I was erupting with laughter. What happened to the girl he was "somewhat fond of?" Isn't he being… somewhat unfaithful?
"Oh, right. OK. Um, that's fine. Just know that I'm here, you know, if you… want to."
All this mushy disquiet over a non-dead Michael. Jesus Christ. I suppose I would be pretty broken apart if the scenario was real though. Without him, who would come on to me out of nowhere, for no apparent reason?
"I know, Mom. Thank you," I said as sweetly and sincerely as I could manage. She deserved as much.
Under the covers, Michael's arms once again reached around my waist and his fingers casually found their way to mine, lacing themselves with their female counterparts.
"So tell me your story, war-weary traveler," I said, pushing the covers down from on top of us.
"Of course, Princess," he said. I could just feel that gorgeous Michael smirk burning into my back.
"Don't call me that. You know very well that I don't like being reminded that I'm going to end up spending the rest of my life ruling a small, European principality and getting yelled at by Grandmé re."
"Precisely why I do it, Your Highness."
I turned toward him to find that he was still, in fact, smirking just as I had thought.
"Well, why don't you get on with your story already, so I don't have to wipe that smug look of your face?"
"You could just kiss it off, Mia."
"Um, WHAT?" I gaped, sure I looked as if Michael had just whipped out his penis or something.
But, seriously, did I actually just ask that? Did I really just reject a romantic suggestion from The Michael? I could have sworn this was the kind of line I would have died to hear just a few minutes ago. What is my problem?
Apparently, I didn't have that much of a problem though, because The Michael just replied with a burst of laughter before he pulled me in for a tight hug.
"Oh, Mia," he said, still chuckling. "Mia, Mia, you're a riot."
I was? Well, as long as riots get nice Michael hugs. And just as Mia the Riot was getting her hug, there was yet another knock on the door. I assumed it was just Mom bringing up breakfast. But before I even had time for a "what is it," there was Lilly, donning a very surprised look on her face. Michael immediately released his hug and tried to duck under my comforter, but he was too late.
"I KNEW IT!" she hollered. "I just knew you couldn't have been dead! Obviously you were just hiding here at her house the whole time!" she spat, pointing an accusing finger in my face.
"No, Lilly. No, no, no! I just came here last night."
"It's true!" I said.
"And so you guys slept in the same bed?" You could see the questions growing inside her head. "Or maybe… Ewww… Did you?"
"NO!" Michael and I said in unison.
"Mia?" my mom called. Oh, God. "Mia, what's going on up here? Why's Lilly being so-- Oh My God."
"Mmhmm," Lilly nodded.
"We've got to inform the police, your parents, the investigative-- Why are you two in the same bed?"
END CHAPTER FOUR
You know, I visited the doctor for a checkup today and discovered that I have Rocky Mountain Spotted Leopard Pants Fever, type FF. Apparently, this sort of disease can only be cured by reviews. So, um… please save my life?
P.S. To you Rooney fans (I know there are tons of you around here), I have seven or so Rooney promo stickers left over from my fangirl/street team whore days. If anyone wants one or a couple, email me or say something in a review.