Still Day 3
6:45 PM – OW! Head hurts! Probably because I was hit on the head by a bloody glass bottle! Where am I anyway?
6:47 PM – Bloody hell, I'm in jail! Not that it's a new situation or anything, but the neighbors usually aren't choice. And the prospect of being hanged doesn't help much either.
6:50 PM – Wasn't very nice of Norrington to put me in jail. What did I ever do to him (I mean besides being a pirate and taking his precious Elizabeth hostage for a few measly seconds)?
6:52 PM – Well, there was that one time I used his basement as a hideout a few years back. Probably still mad about me walking in on him on my search for the bathroom. What WAS he doing in that dress!
6:53 PM – Actually, he was probably madder when I told him that red wasn't his color.
6:57 PM – Worst fears confirmed; prisoners next door are utter morons! They are attempting to lure over the dog holding the keys with a bone. Honestly! I mean, if I had the cell keys, the last think I'd do is trade them for a greasy, old bone!
6:58 PM – Unless maybe it were bacon grease. Mmmmm; bacon.
6:59 PM – Anyone who doesn't like bacon is daft! In fact, I think I want some now.
7:20 PM – Other prisoners getting annoyed with my constant talk of bacon. Also because I keep telling them that the dog isn't going to move, which, thus far, it hasn't. But their efforts are so pathetically heartfelt, I'm beginning to think it might work.
7:22 PM – Dog update; still hasn't moved. Have gone back to my original theory.
7:45 PM – Have been amusing myself by harassing the other prisoners. Every few minutes, I throw a handful of straw at them and, when they turn around, I yell "Look! He's moving!" I may be in jail, but I can still get a few laughs.
7:48 PM – Hahahahahaha!
8:00 PM – IT'S THE PEARL! At long last! WOO HOO! I am no longer in the market (As it were)!
8:01 PM – Good mood destroyed by the realization that I am in jail and, therefore, can not get to the Pearl. Good mood returned when I got to show off my great skill in the art of "smart ass" once again by telling the stupid prisoners that if a situation leaves not survivors, there can't be any witnesses to tell people about it later. Wow, that was a long sentence! Now my hand's tired.
8:15 PM – Cannon fire has blown out cell wall!
8:16 PM – HELL FIRE! It blew out the whole wall EXCEPT for the part in MY cell! Bloody, bloody hell!
8:17 PM – I think I'm a new believer in karma.
8:20 PM – I can't believe I've been reduced to this. Here, doggy, doggy!
8:21 PM – ARG! Dog ran away! And it was actually working, too! (Must have been my suave charm and good looks.) Anyways, that's not even the first time I've offended somebody by calling them a cat. Must learn from mistakes in the future.
8:30 PM – Interesting, pirates just came down looking for the armory. Made fun of me for being marooned ten years ago so I used some fancy words to tell them they were going to hell. Thought that would confuse them, but one grabbed my neck and his hand turned all bone-ish. Can't believe there actually is a curse! Pirates have left.
9:00 PM – Hey, I wonder if Barbossa realizes that if he hadn't marooned me, I'd be cursed to. Must be killing him! Teehee.
9:01 PM – Hahahaha! I just realized that if Barbossa is cursed, then he actually can't die. Haha! I made a joke! Haha!
9:05 PM – Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha!
Day 4
6:45 AM – After laughing fit subsided, spent the entire night gnawing bone into a lock pick. Dog must have gotten to it at some point because, FYI, it defiantly wasn't bacon grease.
7:00 AM – Grrrr. Almost got the bloody lock undone! Just…a little…more!
7:05 AM – Had to abandon attempt as someone is coming down.
7:06 AM – Hey, it's the kid from the shop! Just asked me about the Black Pearl; this could be interesting. Will pretend I have forgotten about sword fight.
7:30 AM – Am out of jail and approaching the docks. Have kid with me. OK, so here's the lowdown: kid asked me where the Pearl was, so I gave him the "island only found by those who already know where it is" line. Asked him if he wanted to find ship so he could turn pirate and he got all sneery. But the he caved and said he wanted to save his girlfriend, that pretty Elizabeth person, from being kidnapped. At first, didn't see any profit for me, until he said he could break me out. Being intrigued by this proposition, I asked his name. And guess what? He's bloody Will Turner! Bootstrap's son! I knew I recognized him! Anyway, realized that, due to the fact that she has that piece of gold (I knew I'd remember!), pirates must think Elizabeth is the person whose blood they need to lift the curse. But I'VE got him right here! Can you say leverage? MAJOR LEVERAGE! Knew I could definitely use kid to get Pearl back and maybe get close enough to kill Barbossa when they lift the curse. So I let him break me out in exchange for finding his bonnie lass. So now we're off to commander a ship. More later.
7:35 AM – Note to self; teach Will proper nautical terms.
7:37 AM – Underwater in boat. Will's foot caught in lobster trap. Hilarious, really.
7:45 AM – Lobster trap proved useful when climbing up side of "Dauntless".
7:50 AM – You'd think the son of bootstrap Bill wouldn't be so incompetent of pirate ways. But he is. A lot.
7:51 AM – "Aye, avast!" I ask you!
7:55 AM – Despite great idiocy on the part of Will, I did manage to get men off the ship with the aid of my trust pistol and use of the word "Savvy". Plan has commenced!
8:45 AM – Norrington such a prat! Obviously though his plan was so good, but mine, as usual, was one step ahead. Norrington and Navy guys rode up on the Interceptor when they saw us trying to start our ship. Even though it was totally obvious that two men alone can't get a ship going, they still had to be all dramatic and swing over to our ship like a bunch of deranged monkeys! Anyway, whist they were milling about, me and Will swung over to their already started ship and sailed off. Was quite polite and thanked Norrington for helping us make way, and in return he tried to fire at us. Luckily, I had thought ahead and disabled all the cannons. Teehee; stupid Norrington.
10:00 AM – Now that we are well out to sea, Will has started talking to me. Seems to be hinting at the fact that I knew his Dad. Will pretend I don't know what he means.
10:05 AM – Had to give in as Will was looming over me like a bloody cobra!
10:06 AM – Will not to pleased with the fact that his Daddy was a pirate. In fact, he is in complete and utter denial. Pathetic.
10:07 AM – Denial has gotten worse; Will has brandished his sword at me. Must make point of getting anger management brochures.
10:08 AM – Got tired of Will's sassy attitude, so I hung him out over the water on the spanker rod (aka – large wooden pole thingy). Teehee. Perhaps now he will shut up.
10:10 AM – While Will was dangling over the water, I took the moment to explain to him "The only rules that really matter" (also known as what a man can do and what a man can't do). Basically told him to buck up and get over that his Daddy was a pirate because he's going to have to deal with the pirate in his blood anyway. Also threw in the fact that I would let him drown but I need him to run the ship. (Luckily he doesn't seem to realize that this gives him one up on me. Phew!)
10:12 AM – Have let Will back on ship. Now seems to be fine about traveling with a pirate and has agreed to sail to Tortuga to find a crew. Overall, a most full-filling day.
11:30 AM – Now that he's stop squabbling with me, have come to realize that Will is actually quite good looking. I wonder if he's better looking than I am.
11:45 AM – If I'm hanging around with someone better looking than me, will it decrease my chances of getting laid?
11:48 AM – Bloody hell, I may have to kill myself.
12:00 PM – Wait, then who would kill Barbossa?
12:01 PM – I'll have to write a note telling someone to kill Barbossa after I've killed myself.
12:03 PM – What if the person who finds the note can't read?
12:05 PM – Maybe I'll kill Barbossa, then kill myself. That way I get the best of both worlds.
12:10 PM – Or maybe I'll just kill Barbossa.
12:12 PM – Yeah, that sounds good.