Still Day 4

9:00 PM – Me and Will just arrived in Tortuga. Met a few of my 'lady friends' while walking through town. Tried to give them a friendly hello and they both SLAPPED me! Humph; I didn't even deserve that! Oh well, off to seek out Mr. Gibbs.

9:30 PM – Finally found Mr. Gibbs. Unfortunately for him, he was sleeping at the time so we had to 'wake him'. Bloody moron cursed me for breathing and called me a slack-jawed idiot! I think that was a bit harsh; it was just a little water! Well, OK, it was a bucket of water, but it's not like I shot him in the leg to wake him up! (Learned not to do that the hard way.) Anyway, I told him I'd buy him a drink to get him to calm down. May need to get him a second, as he's now even more mad because Will threw MORE water on him! Though, I must say, it did help with the smell.

11:06 PM – Just had a lovely talk with Mr. Gibbs! Won't go into excruciating detail about that; the bottom line is I told him about using Will to get the Pearl back, he's all for it, so he's going to find me a crew. Go me! Have a feeling I'm going to have a very good night's sleep!

Day 5

2:57 AM – Well, I WAS having a good night's sleep! Right up until Will started snoring like a drunk pirate! Hold on a second, did I just insult myself!

9:09 AM – That is the last time I let Gibbs put a crew together! I mean, where did he find these guys! AND WHAT'S WITH THE MIDGET? (Come to think of it, I might have given him more than one night to come up with a crew, but I'm not about to blame myself for this!) Oh well, at least I have my green banana! Yeah, green bananas!

9:11 AM –A MUTE! WHY'D HE HIRE A BLOODY MUTE!

9:12 AM – Great! I now have a crew made up of a mute who talks through his parrot, a midget, and a bunch of other guys Gibbs traded for salt! If anybody finds out about this, I think I might die of embarrassment!

9:13 AM – Come to think of it, I'm a bit surprised I haven't seen Anna-Maria around here yet. She's probably around somewhere. Wonder if she's still mad about me 'borrowing' her boat?

9:15 AM – Yup, she's still mad. Honestly, if all this slapping keeps up, I'm going to get a rash!

9:17 AM – Anna-Maria has slapped me a second time and, out of fear, I have promised her another boat to replace the one I borrowed.

9:18 AM – Damn Will! He promised Anna-Maria the Interceptor after I'm done with it. I wanted to keep that for a spare!

9:20 AM – Gibbs super-bloody-stitious and doesn't want me to let Anna on board. Fine! Let HIM be the one getting slapped for a change! Bloody fine with me!

11:36 PM – Couldn't write before now as was trying to break in new crew. Bunch of ingrates! Obviously not fit to sail under the command of a prestigious captain such as myself. (Well, neither is Will, but I need him for bargaining.) Plus, that midget keeps giving me dirty looks. (Don't trust that little bugger; every time he touches a rope, it takes him flying into the air! How is he supposed to fire a bloody gun?) Anyways, then, as if things weren't going bad enough, it started to storm like the devil himself! Must go now; have to steer the ship and page is getting wet.

11:47 PM – On the other hand, it is fan-bloody-tastic to be captaining a ship in a rolling storm, again! (Such fond memories; the open ocean, the spray of the sea on my face, ransacking and pillaging villages.) Plus, according to my magic compass, we're catching up! Beginning to get rather excited, but not to worry; Captain Jack Sparrow has always had an innate sense of self control.

11:53 PM – WOO HOO! I AM INVINCIBLE! BUAHAHAHAHA! Watch out, Davy Jones, here comes Jack!

Day 6

6:30 AM – Sorry about that last entry. Re-read it this morning and I was this close to burning it. Anyways, should be arriving at caves by noon, tops.

6:47 AM – I wonder what it's like being a mute? Been studying Cotton, and if you don't actually have to have your tongue cut out, it seems pretty easy; not having to bother with all the words and such. I think I'll give it a bit of a go.

11: 24 AM – Have come to the conclusion that being a mute bites anchor! For the past four and a half hours, had to use ridiculous hand gestures to try to tell people things! Seeing as I couldn't actually TELL anyone I had become a mute, the sods just stared at me like I'd got bloody mad (I mean more than usual)! And the ones who did manage to work out what I was doing either came up with hugely idiotic translations to what I was trying to say or laughed until I hit them with the butt of my pistol. (Couldn't even get any breakfast because the prat in charge of handing it out laughed himself to the floor. Starving and silent; where am I? The nunnery!) Anyways, won't be becoming a real mute anytime soon, as words are much more superior means of communication set down by our forefathers. (Or possible by incessantly grunting cavemen) Plus, Mr. Cotton keeps staring at my compass over my shoulder as I'm trying to steer, and it's much easier to tell him to sod off when using words.

11:25 AM – Oh yeah; got lost in my drawl about mutes and I forgot to mention we've arrived at the caves. Can see Pearl in the distance. Must get Will and go ashore.

11:27 AM – Apparently Gibbs has been passing a bit of time telling Will my ENTIRE life story! (Bloody sod! I don't need the kid figuring out I'm using him as leverage!) He was up to the part when, like I told everyone, I got off the island I was marooned on by making a raft out of sea turtles. (Well, I could have if I wanted to! It's just that hitching a ride with the rum traders was altogether simpler! What the hell would you have done?) Anyway, got my one back when I freaked them both out by saying that I roped the turtles together with my back hair. Teehee. Me and Will now rowing into cave. Have told Gibbs to keep to the code if the worst should happen. (And it'd better not; I didn't spend two days on a boat with the ever incompetent Will for nothing!)

12:00 PM – Have lit lantern, as is very dark inside cave. Will scared by pirate skeleton lying about and asked exactly what I meant by telling Gibbs to keep to the code. Figured he ought to know that one, so I cut right to the chase; any man who falls behind is left behind. Will tried to be a smartass by commenting "No hero's among thieves, eh?". Uh, yeah; duh! That's kind of the point!

12:01 PM – Just realized that, while Will is just about the definition of "anti-pirate", he's actually not to far off from one. I mean, look at the facts: over the last day and a half, he sprung me from jail, commandeered a ship, and sailed with a crew of insane miscreants out of Tortuga! Plus, he's completely obsessed with treasure! (Of course, speaking in a rather symbolic and befuddling context, as is my nature, I mean Elizabeth, who may as well be encrusted with rubies for all the trouble he's going through!) Told Will this (Not all that stuff in parentheses, obviously) and he protested that he wasn't obsessed with "treasure". Either he's still in denial, or he can't work out the symbolism. Whichever it is, it's probably not going to work to my advantage in the long run.

12:07 PM – Speech, speech, bloody BORING speech! Why don't the pirates make it easier on themselves and just slit her open already!

12:08 PM – Good God; I don't think Will's going to be able to control himself; keeps trying to jump out and grab Elizabeth. Damn hormones.

12:09 PM – I could just stab him; that'd tame him a bit.

12:10 PM – No! Must be strong! Need…him…for…plan!

12:11 PM – Told Will to wait for the opportune moment before jumping out and getting us both killed, then tried to lead him away from the view, just in case. Apparently, Will has been thinking (possibly not safe for someone who can't even register symbolism) and said "And when is that; when it's of the greatest profit to you?" Even though that is my life motto (I have it nailed to the wall of my cabin), I couldn't very well have him thinking he was right. So as a comeback, I asked him if I had ever given him any reason not to trust me. Which, as far as he knows about, I haven't (Well, I did swing him over the water on a beam that one time, but he doesn't seem to remember, which is good news for my argument). Anyways, wanted to get closer to the pirate happenings, and, as my last statement seemed to be having a decent effect, I begged Will to stay put and not do anything stupid.

12:15 PM – Why do I even bother! Honestly, I should just call the pirates over here and save Will the trouble! Idiot has smacked me in the head with an oar. Apparently, he somehow found out I was planning to use him as leverage. (If Gibbs told, I'll kill him!) I'm actually only pretending to be knocked out, because if I get up, he'll just hit me again. Shall get up as soon as he leaves.

12:16 PM – On second thought, I'm developing a bit of a headache. Perhaps I'll take a little nap.