Still Day 6

12:48 PM – Damn; Will hit me harder than I thought, the stupid whelp! Since when did knocking out the mastermind count as not stupid? Ouch; where's that oar gone off to? I need something to limp on.

12: 51 PM – Accidentally stumbled across old crew. (You remember; the ones who marooned me to die ten years ago?) They were obviously quite surprised to see me because the one whose buddy has the wooden eye said "You're supposed to be dead!" Perhaps if I agree with them, they won't think I need to be killed again.

12:52 PM – Pretending I was already dead didn't work (Barbossa must have invested in that on-board library I was looking into.) Anyway, they never were quite a negotiable bunch so, since I'm now surrounded, have decided to invoke the sacred right

12:53 PM – Slight problem; name of that particular bit of the code has escaped me. (Probably flew out of my ear by way of Will hitting me with oar. Bloody git!)

12:54 PM – Par…sley. Par…snip. Par…liament. Par…t of me is enjoying this.

12:55 PM – Guy with the wooden eye has kindly reminded me that the name is parley. His buddy was annoyed because he didn't get to blow my head off or whatever, so instead he damned whoever thought up parley straight to hell. Thought he might want to know exactly who he was condemning, so I told him it was the French and made a list of all the other useless things they've come up with, if only for a way of stalling any other possible death.

12:57 PM – Actually, mayonnaise isn't that bad an invention. But the French are Latin based, and Latin is a stupid dead language nobody cares about, so I win!

1:02 PM – Pirates have gone to fetch Barbossa, due to the parley thing. Am entertaining them by continuing my rant about the French. I think they might actually be enjoying it. Unfortunately, I am running out of ideas.

1:08 PM – Barbossa has arrived. (Very fortunate because annoyingly small jars of jam was my last useless thing) Anyway, Barbossa very interested (and possible baffled) to know how I got of the island. Just a crap load of dumb luck really, but I sure as bloody hell wasn't going to tell him that! Didn't feel like recollecting the whole Gibb's story, so I stuck with the "I'm Captain Jack Sparrow" line. Even if it isn't the most satisfying answer, still seems to convince people that I'm too smart to fail at anything, so it works for me.

1:10 PM – Barbossa obviously in a bad mood because he has ordered the pirates to kill me. Then I remember that the only reason I was even here was because I wanted to trade them Will for my ship. Pretended I was making small talk by bringing up the fact that Elizabeth's blood didn't work. Then Barbossa did that thing he does; whenever somebody mentions something of even remote interest, he changes his mind, turns around in that menacingly slow way and goes along with whatever you say. I wonder if he realizes how predictable he is.

1:13 PM – Barbossa taking me back to his ship (known to some as MY ship) to negotiate terms for giving up my information.

1:15 PM – I just realized that if I don't give it up voluntarily; Barbossa'll probably keelhaul me until I do. Might want to do this quickly.

1:20 PM – Barbossa apparently thinks I am an idiot who doesn't remember anything. If I recall, the last time I gave up valuable information when the bugger was close enough to steal my ship, it didn't work out so good. Obviously my plan of not giving him the name he wants until he's standing on some beach, and I'm sailing off with MY ship safely in tow, then calling the name back to him is much better than the one he's suggesting.

1:21 PM – Apparently Barbossa does not agree. Reminded him that, having not committed mutiny, I am much more trustworthy than he is. (Even though, if my plan plays out, I'll probably "accidentally" call the wrong name out to him.)

1:23 PM – Decided to have a bit of fun by casually mentioning that if Barbossa hadn't marooned me, I'd be cursed as well. Not sure if it ever occurred to him before, like I thought, but he does seem annoyed about it now, so I'm pleased.

1:24 PM – Quite fond of apples. Intriguing how they stay so fresh on a musty ship infested with half rotting zombie pirates?

1:25 PM – Oh crap; getting closer to the Interceptor. Barbossa plans to storm ship as Elizabeth has apparently taken his medallion and he wants it back. This presents a problem because if he gets on that boat and sees Will, my whole plan of using Will's identity as leverage will go straight to the flaming depths.

1:26 PM – Have followed Barbossa on deck. As I want him off the boat at all cost, to keep him from finding out about Will, I have had a thought involving me going over, fetching medallion and bringing it back for him. Would tell this to Barbossa, but he's become rather intent on watching the Interceptor approach. Can see I shall have to use more forceful measures to get some attention.

1:30 PM – Perhaps it was a bit rash to get in front of his telescope like that, but it was the only way he'd acknowledge me! Anyway, Barbossa apparently did not go for my new proposition, said something about killing me because I'm easier to search that way, then locked me in the brig (But not before taking my apple, which I hadn't even finished with yet!) Plus, there's a leak down here and the 10 inches of very organic water is making me apprehensive.

1:31 PM – Have found source of leak. Fortunately, it also doubles as an excellent way to observe Interceptor activities.

1:54 PM – Interceptor trying many maneuvers to get away from the Pearl. Don't seem to realize that there is a reason they call it the fastest ship in the Caribbean!

2:15 PM – Pathetic, really; my crew has no chance of winning, yet they can't seem to come to grips with it. Have they caught Will's denial? God, that's the last thing I need if I ever get back over there.

2:25 PM – STUPID CREW! The sods are blowing holes in my ship! And not even with cannon balls! But with a bunch of completely random objects they shoved in the cannons! Found Gibb's flask among the stuff that came through the wall. Bloody empty! What good came from firing that!

2:27 PM – Hey, what's up with the door?

2:28 PM – COOL! Cannon fire has blown out cell door! And in MY cell this time! This calls for a victory dance!

2:29 PM – Or maybe later.

2:33 PM – In the mass havoc taking place on deck, nobody noticed me saunter over to the edge railing. Apparently, all my respect hasn't been lost as some nice man kindly brought rope over for me to swing on. Though I was a bit confused as to why he was lying on the deck, thanked him anyway and took to getting back to the crew.

2:34 PM – Stupid bloody rope swung back the other way when I tried to get onto the Interceptor. Why do none of the ropes I use go where I want them to? On the bright side, managed to take out guy who was attacking Gibbs on the back swing.

2:35 PM – Have returned Gibb's flask to him. Told him he should have the decency to keep the thing filled if he's planning to fire it at someone.

2:40 PM – Can't find Elizabeth anywhere! Must get medallion!

2:45 PM – Found Elizabeth. Pirate was about to kill her or something. Told him that that wasn't very nice and slipped one of my anger management brochures into his pocket.

2:46 PM – Pirate not quite as appreciative as I had predicted.

2:47 PM – Wow; Elizabeth not totally incompetent with a rifle, as she has used it to knock out pirate. This puts her ahead of Will in the brains department by about a million to 1.5.

2:48 PM - Elizabeth's stats now considerably lower as, when I asked her where the bloody medallion was, she tried to slap me! Fortunately, due to the number of times that happened in the passed few days, I was prepared and blocked her hand. Go me!

2:50 PM – Realized that, seeing as Elizabeth did not have the medallion, she must have given it to Super Idiot Boy (aka- Will). Asked her where he'd gone off to, and she muttered "Will!" and ran away. Honestly; is an answered question to much to ask?

2:53 PM – Elizabeth seems to have found Will hiding in the hold. Typical; NOW the whelp doesn't want any confrontation! Oh, but he's just FINE with charging out when my life happens to be on the line!

2:57 PM – DAMNIT! Barbossa's bloody monkey got a hold of the medallion! Must get medallion!

2:59 PM – STUPID MONKEY! GIMME THAT!

3:00 PM – Just realized how idiotic I must look scuttling across a beam after a bloody monkey!

3:02 PM – Barbossa has apparently named his monkey after me. Am very honored. (No, actually, considering I HATE that bloody monkey!)

3:03 PM – Quite uncomfortable being in the middle of an entire mob whose rooting against you. Especially when they're actually cheering that you've lost.

3:15 PM – Crew has been taken prisoner by cursed pirates. Have been warned not to say parley. Damn.

3:17 PM – Interceptor has exploded. Brings back such fond memories. Unfortunately, Will has probably gone along with it. There goes my leverage!

3:18 PM – Will's not dead! Yes! Might still have a chance to get the Pearl back! (Unless, of course, he does something stupid.)

3:20 PM – God; Will did something stupid again! About to kill himself for no reason!

3:21 PM – Hey, where'd he get my pistol, anyway? Was wondering where it went!

3:23 PM – Shite! He's using himself as bloody leverage to save his bloody girlfriend! Must stop him from telling Barbossa who he is!

3:25 PM – Triple bloody shite in hell! He told! And I was coming up with such an interesting identity for him, too! (OK, so I made him a eunuch; picky, picky!) Well, at least he can use himself to bargain us free now.

3:30 PM – I HATE HIM! I BLOODY HATE HIM! Bloody hell, if I had two bullets! I can't believe this; Will has bargained everyone free and/or unharmed, with the exception of ME! Why couldn't he have just blown up and left the world with one less idiot!

3:45 PM – Teehee; old Barbossa twisting words again. He's going to let Elizabeth go free by throwing her overboard! Would give almost anything to see Will's face again.

3:46 PM – Quite funny watching pirates knock Elizabeth off the plank.

3:47 PM – Right up until I realized it was my turn next.

3:54 PM – Barbossa being such a prig! First off, he is marooning me on the same island he did before just to humiliate me. Second, he won't even give me two pistols so I can shoot Elizabeth when she gets all whiny about Will! But he did return my old one that Will somehow got a hold of. However, I don't count this as a nice gesture, as his idea of returning it was by throwing it into the water and making me jump in after it.

3:58 PM – That's the second time I've had to watch him sail away in my ship. I don't think I can stand much more of this!