CH1: New Outlook
It had been a long and tiring summer. Unfortunately for Harry Potter, it was only the third week of July.
After listening to his Uncle, Vernon Dursley, rant all the way back to 4 Privet Drive, Harry went up to his room and flopped onto his bed, thinking. It had been the Year from Hell in Harry's mind. His thoughts flicked through everything that had happened.
Flashes of the Third Task crashed through his mind. The Spider, Portkey, Graveyard, Kill the Spare, Cedric dying, the Potion, Voldemort, Death Eaters, Cruciatus Curse, Priori Incatatem, his Parents....the list went on and on. Even though Harry knew it wasn't his fault, he still blamed himself. If it wasn't for him, Voldemort wouldn't be back, Cedric would still be alive, the wizarding world wouldn't be in danger.
Harry rolled over. He did this over and over again, everyday, every week, examining his thoughts. And his views changed. Slowly, he began to see the world, not in black and white like he use to, but in gray.
He realized that there was no good or evil, just like Quirell had told him back in first year. That it depended on the intent of the wizard and what they use their powers for that makes them dark or light.
And that to the whole world, he, Harry, was just a pawn, a symbol, someone they could use and then toss away. His second and fourth years were prime examples of that. At the drop of a hat, one thing done unhero-like*, everyone would turn on him. Even people he trusted deeply, like his best friend, Rom Weasley.
Even Dumbledore. He didn't really care about Harry himself, but only that his weapon of light would be destroyed. He put his life in danger in first year. Harry could have been killed over the Stone, yet Dumbledore still sent him done there. He manipulated every move so that it would be the Boy Who Lived who fought Voldemort again.
In that aspect, Harry wasn't sure who was worst: Dumbledore or Voldemort. At least the Dark Lord didn't pretend to be good. In the coming war, Harry knew that he would be on the Light side, but he wouldn't let Dumbledore control him anymore.
And, he also realized, it would have been better for him to have been sorted into Slytherin. Harry had searched through a book on Ministry officials he got from the library and found that most people were either from Ravenclaw or Slytherin.
Everyone assumed that Slytherins were evil because of a few horrible people who came out of that House. Sure, a lot of Death Eaters were in Slytherin, but there were some from every house. People just don't see that.
Also, Harry wasn't sure if he fit into Gryffindor anymore. Ever since the Triwizard Tournament, Harry vowed that he would never be caught unprepared again. He took a leaf out of Hermione's book and finished all his homework early. Then, he started reading up on everything he could get his hands on. Herm was glad to help there, and sent him loads of books on dueling, protection charms, healing potions, defense tactics...you name it, he read it. Soon, he knew enough to hold his own against any wizard who tried to challenge him.
By far the best thing he got though, was from his godfather, Sirius. Sirius had been best friends with his father, and the group of them, the Marauders, were known to break the rules. So, of course, he sent Harry a book on illegal things. It had a nifty** little charm that would mask all his magic from the Ministry so he could practice.
The two most useful things in the book were Animagi and Aparating. Everyday, Harry would go out into a deserted clearing near his house and practice. He soon managed to Aparate from one end of the clearing to the other. And, by meditating, he found out his Animagi form: A Gryffin (lion with eagle wings). With a little practice, he could change his hands to paws, grow a mane, and form wings. 'Pretty good for a couple of weeks', Sirius wrote when Harry told him.
And he learned more. Harry sent out for Dark Arts books, to learn what the enemy would be using on him, and how to counter the effects from them. He brewed Veritaserum, just in case. He had a bunch of daggers and knives on him that he vowed to learn how to use. And, he now had his parents wands, so he always had an extra on him, and the Sword of Gryffindor, which Dumbledore sent to him.
But, all this magical practice wasn't enough for Harry. He started running everyday and taking Karate and fencing lessons at a local self-defense school. He figured it would be a blow to Voldemort's pride if he fought him using Muggle (non-magical) methods.
The summer flew by. It was now the week before Harry's birthday - the 31st of July. He was sitting on his bed, reading up on Dark Creatures, when a brigade of owls flew through his open window.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------
* = Is this a word? It is now.
** = Yes, I said nifty. I'm scared, too.
It had been a long and tiring summer. Unfortunately for Harry Potter, it was only the third week of July.
After listening to his Uncle, Vernon Dursley, rant all the way back to 4 Privet Drive, Harry went up to his room and flopped onto his bed, thinking. It had been the Year from Hell in Harry's mind. His thoughts flicked through everything that had happened.
Flashes of the Third Task crashed through his mind. The Spider, Portkey, Graveyard, Kill the Spare, Cedric dying, the Potion, Voldemort, Death Eaters, Cruciatus Curse, Priori Incatatem, his Parents....the list went on and on. Even though Harry knew it wasn't his fault, he still blamed himself. If it wasn't for him, Voldemort wouldn't be back, Cedric would still be alive, the wizarding world wouldn't be in danger.
Harry rolled over. He did this over and over again, everyday, every week, examining his thoughts. And his views changed. Slowly, he began to see the world, not in black and white like he use to, but in gray.
He realized that there was no good or evil, just like Quirell had told him back in first year. That it depended on the intent of the wizard and what they use their powers for that makes them dark or light.
And that to the whole world, he, Harry, was just a pawn, a symbol, someone they could use and then toss away. His second and fourth years were prime examples of that. At the drop of a hat, one thing done unhero-like*, everyone would turn on him. Even people he trusted deeply, like his best friend, Rom Weasley.
Even Dumbledore. He didn't really care about Harry himself, but only that his weapon of light would be destroyed. He put his life in danger in first year. Harry could have been killed over the Stone, yet Dumbledore still sent him done there. He manipulated every move so that it would be the Boy Who Lived who fought Voldemort again.
In that aspect, Harry wasn't sure who was worst: Dumbledore or Voldemort. At least the Dark Lord didn't pretend to be good. In the coming war, Harry knew that he would be on the Light side, but he wouldn't let Dumbledore control him anymore.
And, he also realized, it would have been better for him to have been sorted into Slytherin. Harry had searched through a book on Ministry officials he got from the library and found that most people were either from Ravenclaw or Slytherin.
Everyone assumed that Slytherins were evil because of a few horrible people who came out of that House. Sure, a lot of Death Eaters were in Slytherin, but there were some from every house. People just don't see that.
Also, Harry wasn't sure if he fit into Gryffindor anymore. Ever since the Triwizard Tournament, Harry vowed that he would never be caught unprepared again. He took a leaf out of Hermione's book and finished all his homework early. Then, he started reading up on everything he could get his hands on. Herm was glad to help there, and sent him loads of books on dueling, protection charms, healing potions, defense tactics...you name it, he read it. Soon, he knew enough to hold his own against any wizard who tried to challenge him.
By far the best thing he got though, was from his godfather, Sirius. Sirius had been best friends with his father, and the group of them, the Marauders, were known to break the rules. So, of course, he sent Harry a book on illegal things. It had a nifty** little charm that would mask all his magic from the Ministry so he could practice.
The two most useful things in the book were Animagi and Aparating. Everyday, Harry would go out into a deserted clearing near his house and practice. He soon managed to Aparate from one end of the clearing to the other. And, by meditating, he found out his Animagi form: A Gryffin (lion with eagle wings). With a little practice, he could change his hands to paws, grow a mane, and form wings. 'Pretty good for a couple of weeks', Sirius wrote when Harry told him.
And he learned more. Harry sent out for Dark Arts books, to learn what the enemy would be using on him, and how to counter the effects from them. He brewed Veritaserum, just in case. He had a bunch of daggers and knives on him that he vowed to learn how to use. And, he now had his parents wands, so he always had an extra on him, and the Sword of Gryffindor, which Dumbledore sent to him.
But, all this magical practice wasn't enough for Harry. He started running everyday and taking Karate and fencing lessons at a local self-defense school. He figured it would be a blow to Voldemort's pride if he fought him using Muggle (non-magical) methods.
The summer flew by. It was now the week before Harry's birthday - the 31st of July. He was sitting on his bed, reading up on Dark Creatures, when a brigade of owls flew through his open window.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------
* = Is this a word? It is now.
** = Yes, I said nifty. I'm scared, too.