Disclaimer: Eh. I don't own Sephiroth (goddamn!), Cloud or any other FFVII characters. They all belong to Squaresoft and Nomura (Lucky Bastards).
A/N: Last chapter I misspelled 'planet' as 'planted', but I went back and fixed it. I'm sorry for that. Kelly a.k.a Aldriena on this site is my beta now! So give her a hug. Glomps Kelly
Thanks to all of the people who reviewed the prologue. 11 Reviews for the prologue…yay! It was nice to know someone cares about my stories.
I was listening to One Winged Angel, and I swear to God, that song has some subliminal power to it. It unleashes this urge inside me to grow my hair down to my knees (and dye it silver), go out with a 6 ft sword, commit arson and mass genocide, and condition my pretty silver hair in between, while trying to bring the world single handedly down to its knees as I'm chanting "REUNION". It's quite disturbing actually.
Warnings: Not much really, some swearing here and there, eventually, I mean this story has Cid in it. Enough Said. Kinda Yaoi-ish? Well shonen-ai really…but pff…it's Sephiroth and Cloud centric.
Chapter 1 (two parts, brief summary on both): Cloud muses about Sephiroth and himself.
Invictus
Chapter 1: To Put You To Peace"You're not the Sephiroth I once knew."-Cloud
You weren't the only one that died in the Northern Crater, Sephiroth. Both of us died that night, but hopefully you would be the one who would be able to find peace in death.
He had come back.
Six months later, he had brought himself back to place he had promised himself to leave behind.
Six months later, with the world in ruins, and his life in pieces, Cloud Strife had decided to come back to Northern Crater.
Cloud was still a bit perturbed as to what would compel him to return here. Was it for solace, closure, or for something deeper that he didn't even want to speak of?
Midgar had finally started to rebuild itself; saved from a psychopathic homicidal maniac that had once been the object of idolization and worship throughout the Planet, by a short, insecure, and mentally unstable blonde that had failed to even make into SOLDIER.
But the rest of Midgar never knew that. They would never know of his mental recessions, his weaknesses, or the fact that he had been the one to hand Sephiroth the black material that led to the summoning of meteor in the first place.
Cloud was their object of idolization now, and Sephiroth was now the villain in a classic tale of good vs. evil.
Midgar and the rest of the world had put him and AVALANCE up on a high pedestal that even now as the savior of the planet, he couldn't reach. A position he didn't deserve.
Cloud had almost hated these people. They had brought this destruction on themselves.
In their minds, they were perfect. A complete and total insult to all of the anguish, hardships, and sacrifices he and his fellow members had to endure to save the world.
No one would be able to sacrifice and give up all the things they had for other people.
But what had it all been for?
What did he get out of it?
Cloud knew he was being selfish. But after being confined in a lab for five years and losing everyone you let yourself close to, you would expect something in return….wouldn't you?
Cloud, alone, had been able to accomplish what no other would have been able to, but it all seemed to be in vain.
Is peace of mind a little bit too much to ask for?
The promised land had been nowhere for him. The Cetra and the lifestream refused to acknowledge him, even after he saved both on their behalf; Cloud Strife had no place in life or death.
He had no comfort except memories that had faded away into nothing more than a few blurry shapes and disoriented sounds, and he hadn't even been able to differentiate whether those had been Zack's or his.
No one would understand his pain.
And now, when he needed someone the most, when loneliness was the worst and most formidable predator in his life, Cloud was simply alienated because of the fact that he was able to match the legendary Sephiroth.
He doesn't deserve to be remembered like that.
Everyone else was moving on,
so why couldn't he?
Shouldn't he be happy that he no longer felt that pull from Sephiroth or Jenova calling to him? Shouldn't he be relieved that he was no longer controlled, someone else's pawn, and a completely useless tool that couldn't grasp reality?
Cloud was free now, in more ways than one. But the second he had noticed the gape in his thoughts, the absence of an intruding presence in his mind, and the lack of a soft and chilling voice clinging to his conscience, Cloud had, simply put, began to panic.
As obtrusive, cold, and disdainful Sephiroth's presence inside him had been, it had been vaguely and awkwardly comforting. Even then, he had never felt nearly as lonely.
Cloud sighed. All he had wanted to do was convince Sephiroth that he was still human, perhaps that would have stopped him.
Ultimately, Cloud had proved that Sephiroth was mortal indeed. But the feat had come a little to late. In the end, it hadn't saved either of them, only millions of masses of people that would neither understand nor care about any of them.
Cloud slowly closed his eyes. He inhaled shakily, blinking as he felt drops of moisture cling to his eyelashes.
It had been a while since he cried.
It had been a while since Cloud had felt so defeated and helpless, and this time there was no one left to draw him out of this shell of self-loathing and pity. There was no one around him to even try.
All he was left with were a few haunting memories, the numbers and addresses of his fellow comrades, and a small, frayed, and faded pink ribbon that reminded him of every failure in his life, and what he could have never achieved.
Zack, the first person who actually went out of their way to make him happy, was dead, on his account no less. Zack had died trying to get Cloud to Midgar with him. Had Zack let Cloud rot away in the lab he still would have been alive. Aeries had died because he couldn't protect her. He couldn't have stopped her from going that night, and he knew that Sephiroth would be waiting for both of them at the alter to take her life.
And then there was Tifa…
She had gone back to Midgar to help rebuilding with Vincent after she finally realized that her feelings for Cloud had been misplaced and would be unreturned.
Tifa wasn't here now to help him find himself anymore.
He had tried, so hard to do it alone.
But he couldn't.
Cloud had hated being so dependent. He had been the type to be able to take care of himself fine. He just needed the support, acceptance, and friendship from others to get by.
Tifa was the only one then who had an utter and completely unbreakable faith in him that had been riveting if not just uplifting.
It had made him feel special.
It was almost as though she had given him the adoration that he had given Sephiroth.
It had made even him feel Godly.
Granted there had been a time when he had loved her, but there were just certain events in life that had stopped him from acting on any feelings he had toward her.
You never really do realize what you have, until you lose it.
It didn't really matter much now.
Tifa was out of his reach. And Cloud knew, that no matter how much it would hurt him, he wouldn't go back to see her. Not after all the pain and false hopes he had caused her.
Tifa didn't deserve it. She was happy now, and he had no intention to intrude on her newly built life.
His shoulders slumped. The tension that had restricted the muscles in his back began to fade, and for that little bit of easiness, Cloud Strife was grateful. His fingers traced the thin metal of the Masamune that impaled the ground. The coolness of the metal was comforting in a vague way.
He had set it as a grave marker, a reminder. The Masamune, standing tall and proud in all its nobility portrayed all that Sephiroth is…had been…in a silence.
Cloud had opened his eyes again.
Over the past few months, he had gone over every scenario, every tactic, every method, and mulled over everything he could have done to make things go differently.
But there was a hidden part of Cloud deep down inside that knew the bitter truth.
That the situation had been and always will be past saving.
And maybe everything wasn't his fault.
That's wishful thinking on your part, Strife.
He scoffed at those words. They didn't feel like his own, but then again, rarely anything had.
Wishful thinking, indeed. Perhaps you were also forced into becoming a puppet too, is that it? Forced rather than wanted?
That last installment of thought…
The tone of it, the aura, the smug confidence, the dignity, the self-assured arrogance, and bitterness of the voice…
Had not been his…
His grip on the blade tightened. Cloud felt the cool metal begin to break through the first few layers of flesh.
He welcomed the pain; it would be distracting from the utter chaos of his mind.
No, that voice had been far from his…
It had been older, chillier, and calmer…but demanding at the same time.
It had been a force all its own.
A force all to familiar.
A force that would not and could not be bound…
Cloud drew in a breath, trying to calm his shaky nerves…
Cloud felt the cool metal find it's way into his skin.
Instinct told him, that perhaps Sephiroth had not found peace in death.
A/N: Second Installment finally finished.
Assessment: All right, thought the ending was better, and mulled too much over angsty Cloud. Cloud's been down these past few days.
Took me a while, but it's posted in under two weeks as promised.
A cookie to all of those who reviewed the last chapter: Mistress Luna, Aldriena, BloodRaevynn, SarsMortis, ZooeyGlass, The Great Susinko, Leddie!!!, Serria, atOmicsquid,and mei. I live for reviews, so they're rather appreciated and very motivational.
There's not much motivation to writing a fic, when you're a sophmore in high school and your gpa status is in absolute turmoil. :sighs:
Next chapter will be up at three weeks at the latest, review, and maybe I'll have the motivation to finish the chap up faster. The fact that I goy 11 reviews for the Prologue was the only thing that motivated me to actually finish up writing.
Until next time….
Ahnaf (Faded Justice)