A/N: Thanks to my reviewers......amythest; pheonixrising; AnDrEwSrObOt:
Buffy/Spike is the best! I was so sad when he died!; ceres-goddess17;
Erynwen; Draconias; athenakitty; and Slim5!!!
And to everyone who asked about the 'Ron-Thing' = It will be explained in the next chapter, just be patient.
************ = flashback
CH9: Storytelling
"Harry!" exclaimed Alex.
"What?"
"Why blue?!?"
"What's wrong with blue?"
"I hate blue!"
"I happen to like blue. It's very......serene."
"Well, I don't. Change it back."
The trio of hunters were in the attic of Buffy's Californian home, trying to redecorate it. After all, it was suppose to be their home for who knows how long, it couldn't stay the way it currently was - dusty and cobwebby and dark. But they were having a few minor disagreements on what color to charm the room.
"How about green?" Draco suggested. "With silver accents."
"Once a Slytherin, always a Slytherin," joked Harry.
"Better than red and gold."
"Boys," Alex cut in. "What about yellow?"
"Yellow?!?" The boys wore disgusted expressions.
"Just a thought."
"Why don't you just paint the whole thing black and call it a day," Dawn asked as she climbed up the ladder. "By the way, lunch is ready."
"You know, she might have a good idea with the black-thing," Harry pondered. "We'd never have to clean - you can't see dirt in a black room."
Alex smacked him. "We are not painting it black."
"Dominatrix," Draco coughed. Alex glared at him.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In another part of Sunnydale, a darker evil than Draco, Alex, and Harry's horrid decorating was brewing.
"And what about the Associates? Have you any word from them yet?" A cold, deep voice was echoing around the underground chamber, it's owner concealed in the shadows.
"No, sir. But the Others - ." A newly bitten vampire stood by the door, trembling.
"Yes, yes," the voice said. "But they are not our concern right now."
"Of course, sir."
"We will need strong allies if this is going to work, Rajasthan."
"I know, sir," the vampire, Rajasthan, answered.
"Our day is coming. Soon the blood of innocents will flow freely down the streets for us to feed. Soon. Soon they will be ours."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"So, what's it like?" Dawn asked.
Alex, who was picking at a plate of macaroni across the table from her, looked up. "What's what like?"
"You know, being a vampire hunter? It's different than a Slayer, right?"
"Right. We don't get the whole super-strength thing. The training is awful."
"It can't be that bad."
"Picture this: you wake up at four in the morning, and get a five minute, usually cold shower and a rice-cake for breakfast. Then you run for three hours and then do physical fitness training until noon. A salad for lunch, before weapons training. If you're a muggle (non-magical person) than that last all the way to dinner, the only human meal of the day. If you're magical, then you have to work on curses, hexes, charms, dueling, transfiguration, etc. Then after diner, there is potions and herbology - everyone can do those, magical or muggle, until ten. Then, and only then, do you have free time. It's lights out at eleven, though, believe me, most just conk out at ten."
"Sounds lovely."
"Oh, it's worth it when you start going out on assignment."
"What are the missions like?"
"Well..." Alex mumbled something to herself.
"Excuse me?"
"I said, this is my first assignment."
Dawn's reply was interrupted as Harry and Draco came in, trying to explain the basics of Quidditch to Spike and a very confused Xander.
"You actually fly on broomsticks?" asked Xander doing strange hand motions to illustrate what was suppose to be a wizard zooming around. He was actually just waving his fingers exuberantly.
"Hey, Draco?" Dawn broke in to address the wizard closest to her. "You and Harry have been on missions right? I mean, Spike mentioned hearing about you."
"Really?" The blond boy looked at the bleached vampire.
"Just a rumor," Spike said. "You know, about Wellington....."
"What happened in Wellington?" asked Dawn.
"I've never heard this story either," said Alex.
"Well," Draco began. "You want to take this one, Harry?"
Harry sighed. "Alright. It all started when we were called to Ardesco's office. He said it was suppose to be a routine hunt. So we went. It was an old cemetery, just on the edge of town......."
****************************************************************************
December 24th, 1995
"It's bloody cold out here," Draco shivered. He pulled his coat around him tighter as he and Harry sat at the base of an old oak tree, surrounded by three feet of snow, going stir-crazy. They were suppose to be staking out the entrance of an active nest of bloodsuckers, but nothing was happening. None of them had gone in or out and the pair had begun to suspect that this was some sort of holiday prank revenge. They still swore they hadn't meant to 'spill' that bottle of firewhisky into Ardesco's coffee pot. "And boring. Nothing is going on!"
Harry looked up at the sky. "Maybe we are suppose to be on the lookout for Father Christmas."
"Father Christmas is not a vampire."
"Do you know him personally?"
"No....."
"Then how do you know he's not a vampire?"
"I just do!"
"Fine, but when reindeer with fangs swoop down on us, I'm going to say 'I told you so'."
"You are driving me insane!" Draco looked over at his friend, baffled as to how he could be reclining so comfortably in the negative temperatures. "And how is it that you're not freezing?"
"Warming Charm," was the simple reply.
"You couldn't have mentioned that two hours ago - "
**************************************************************************
"Are you going to get to the point anytime soon?" Spike asked. Harry looked put-out.
"Fine, fine. Anyway, we're sitting out there, now both fully warm (Draco shot him a glare), for a few more hours. It was snowing again when........"
After a minutes silence, Dawn prompted, "When what?"
"We realized we had fallen asleep."
**************************************************************************
"I can't believe you didn't wake me up!" exclaimed Draco.
"How could I have woken you up when I was asleep," Harry pointed out.
Draco ignored him. "Edge is going to have a field day with this. We'll never live it down!"
"Maybe we can just forget to mention this part."
"There's just one problem with that. Now we don't know if there are any vampire's in there or if it's been abandoned."
"Then we'll wait until sunrise and then see if anybody's home."
"Do you really want to spend your Christmas Eve turning into a human popsicle? These charms only last so long, Deni, and it takes too much energy to keep recasting them......"
"Do you have a better - " Harry stopped. "Did you hear that?"
There was a strange crunching noise - the sound of a boot on snow.
"It's coming from over there." Draco whispered, pointing towards the small catacomb a few feet away from them. Whoever was out walking was on the other side.
"We can't see from here. I'm going to go up and see what I can find out." He motioned to the tree branches above them and started climbing. Draco listened closely, only to catch Harry's mumbled "Oh shit."
"What's going on?" Receiving no answer, Draco sighed and climbed up into the trees as well.
Harry was perched about twenty feet up, staring through the leaves with a look of anxiety on his face. Draco followed his gaze and his breath stopped short.
Gathered by the wall of the building were about thirty vampires. They seemed to be in the middle of some sort of meeting.
"Can you hear what they are saying?" Harry asked. Draco shook his head. "Think we should go closer?"
"Are you nuts?" Draco hissed fiercely.
"That's up for debate."
"There is a reason why you were made a Gryffindor and I was a Slytherin, you know."
Echoing what he had started to say earlier, Harry replied, "Do you have a better idea?"
At the lack of response, Harry pushed forward, leaving Draco to reluctantly follow behind, muttering about 'moronic Gryffindor bravery'.
"Shut up, Im!" They were now directly above the corrugation.
Draco gulped and their was a load creaking noise. "What was that?" he whispered, just as the branch fell out from beneath them. ************************************************************************
"You fell out of a tree?" Everyone jumped as Buffy's voice came from the doorway where she and Willow were standing. They hadn't heard them come in.
"Unfortunately," said Draco.
*************************************************************************
"Well, well, well. What do we have here?" said one of the vamps. Harry looked up at him, smiling brightly.
"Hello. Do you think we could borrow a cup of sugar?" Someone, or something, hauled him up from behind, pinning his arms to his sides. "I'll take that as a no."
*************************************************************************
The entire room was staring at him.
"Sugar?" Xander asked, disbelievingly. "You didn't really ask for sugar, did you?"
"He did," Draco murmured.
"Hey," Harry defended. "A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort*."
"Just get on with the story."
*************************************************************************
"Looks like we've got ourselves a couple of spies, Kahar" a member of the crowd called out.
"Not spies," said Kahar, the vampire from before. He eyed the stakes on their belts. "Hunters." He let out a deep chuckle. "Not very good ones apparently."
"Hey! We don't go around saying that you aren't very good bloodsucking demons do we?" Harry said.
"Deni, Draco Dormiens Nunquam Titilandus," Draco said wearily.
*************************************************************************
"Huh?" asked Buffy.
"It's Latin," Anya said. She had slipped in sometime during the confrontation/sugar part. Everyone looked at her. "Well I don't know what it means."
"Never tickle a sleeping dragon," explained Alex. "It's the motto of Hogwarts."
"Cool!" Dawn exclaimed. she turned to Draco. "So your name means Dragon?"
Draco nodded. "And don't tickle me."
************************************************************************
"So you went to Hogwarts?" Kahar.
Harry rolled his eyes theatrically to Draco. "And I'm the one who is screwing this up?"
"Shut up," said Draco.
"And, to answer your question, Kahar, is it?" Harry asked. "No we aren't from Hogwarts, not anymore."
"Were you," Kahar gasped. "Expelled?" There were a few laughs from the crowd.
"Technically, no," replied Draco.
"I can only think of one person who should have been expelled from Hogwarts, but 'technically' wasn't."
"Really?"
"Of course. It was all over the papers you know."
**************************************************************************
"Do the undead actually read newspapers?" Xander wondered.
"Great minds think alike," Draco said under his breath.
"Yes we do!" said Spike indignantly. "That's stereotyping, you know!"
"Quiet! I want to hear what happens next," snapped Dawn.
**************************************************************************
"Do the undead actually read newspapers?" Draco wondered.
************************************************************************* "That's very creepy, " Willow said.
"Maybe they share a brain!" said Alex.
"It would explain a lot," Harry said. "Like why Draco always seems to only be using half of his."
There was silence for a few seconds. Then -
"Hey!"
************************************************************************
"Yes we do!" Kahar said, indignantly. "That's stereotyping, you know!"
************************************************************************
"Again," said Willow. "Very creepy."
"Is he a cousin of yours?" Buffy asked her boyfriend.
"Let's just listen to what happens next," Anya said.
**********************************************************************
"Sorry," said Draco sarcastically.
"Somebody's PMSing today," muttered Harry.
Kahar glared at him. "I definitely wasn't expecting Harry Potter to crash our party."
"Well, yours was the best one going on," Harry said. "The others had bland punch or bad music. Or they just breathed to loudly for my taste. Not too much of that going on here, though."
"Be glad that you picked this one then. We've got a lovely parting gift for you." He pulled out a silver dagger from his back pocket and pointed it right at Harry's throat.
"Harry?" Draco asked.
"Yes?"
"Can I have your Firebolt?"
***********************************************************************
"Your best friend is about to be skewered and you ask to have his broom?" Alex shouted.
"Sheesh, Flame. Calm down," said Draco.
"You do realize he could have died just then?!?"
"And if he did, then I would have been dead, too. Do you really think I could have taken all of those demons by myself?"
***********************************************************************
"Sure, mate."
"Thanks."
"That was really touching and all," Kahar drawled. "but we have more important things to do." He smirked. "I'm sure they have a nice warm spot in Hell saved for you, Potter."
"That's all right," Harry said nonchalantly. "I need to work on my tan."
"Merry Christmas. Satan's waiting." Kahar pushed the knife towards Harry's throat and found it going through his own flunky. "What the - ?" He was hit from behind.
"I can Apparate, you moron." Harry shoved a stake through Kahar's heart and sang out when he was dusted, "And a Happy New Year!"
Meanwhile, Draco managed to elbow the vamp guarding him and proceeded in beating the crap out of him. "I had to sit in the snow out here for five hours! If I can never have children, it will be entirely your fault! I will make sure you never forget that! Even if you're dead," he added as he staked him. Draco looked up and realized that everyone was staring at him. "What?"
"Finished?" Harry asked amused.
Draco smirked. "Let's kick some vampire arse!"
***************************************************************************
"How many did you end up killing?" Alex asked when the story appeared to be over.
"Thirty-six," Draco said lazily.
Spike blinked. "That doesn't exactly make a guy sleep soundly at night."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
HOW TO DEFEAT A VAMPIRE
By: Cho Chang
There are many ways to injure and even kill a vampire. The most well known one is to stake them through the heart. Now the stake must be made of wood or it won't properly work. When a vamp gets staked, it turns to dust.
There is also holy water, which is more used for injuring. It would take a lot of holy water to kill a vampire. It will burn the skin. A cross has the same effect.
Vampires can not come out in sunlight. This will cause them to burst into flames. If you suspect someone to be a vampire, it's easy to prove or disprove depending on if they go out into sunlight (this is right up there with them not being able to enter a place without being invited in means of identifying them). It is hard to tell if someone is a vampire if they don't have their vamp face on (fangs, wrinkly skin - it's very disturbing, so you'll know it when you see it).
Which brings us to beheading, another useful way to kill a vampire. Though, setting them on fire works well, too..........
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- --------------------------
Cho's report isn't very good - I wrote it at two a.m. with a bad case of insomnia.
* = quote by Herm Albright
And to everyone who asked about the 'Ron-Thing' = It will be explained in the next chapter, just be patient.
************ = flashback
CH9: Storytelling
"Harry!" exclaimed Alex.
"What?"
"Why blue?!?"
"What's wrong with blue?"
"I hate blue!"
"I happen to like blue. It's very......serene."
"Well, I don't. Change it back."
The trio of hunters were in the attic of Buffy's Californian home, trying to redecorate it. After all, it was suppose to be their home for who knows how long, it couldn't stay the way it currently was - dusty and cobwebby and dark. But they were having a few minor disagreements on what color to charm the room.
"How about green?" Draco suggested. "With silver accents."
"Once a Slytherin, always a Slytherin," joked Harry.
"Better than red and gold."
"Boys," Alex cut in. "What about yellow?"
"Yellow?!?" The boys wore disgusted expressions.
"Just a thought."
"Why don't you just paint the whole thing black and call it a day," Dawn asked as she climbed up the ladder. "By the way, lunch is ready."
"You know, she might have a good idea with the black-thing," Harry pondered. "We'd never have to clean - you can't see dirt in a black room."
Alex smacked him. "We are not painting it black."
"Dominatrix," Draco coughed. Alex glared at him.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In another part of Sunnydale, a darker evil than Draco, Alex, and Harry's horrid decorating was brewing.
"And what about the Associates? Have you any word from them yet?" A cold, deep voice was echoing around the underground chamber, it's owner concealed in the shadows.
"No, sir. But the Others - ." A newly bitten vampire stood by the door, trembling.
"Yes, yes," the voice said. "But they are not our concern right now."
"Of course, sir."
"We will need strong allies if this is going to work, Rajasthan."
"I know, sir," the vampire, Rajasthan, answered.
"Our day is coming. Soon the blood of innocents will flow freely down the streets for us to feed. Soon. Soon they will be ours."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"So, what's it like?" Dawn asked.
Alex, who was picking at a plate of macaroni across the table from her, looked up. "What's what like?"
"You know, being a vampire hunter? It's different than a Slayer, right?"
"Right. We don't get the whole super-strength thing. The training is awful."
"It can't be that bad."
"Picture this: you wake up at four in the morning, and get a five minute, usually cold shower and a rice-cake for breakfast. Then you run for three hours and then do physical fitness training until noon. A salad for lunch, before weapons training. If you're a muggle (non-magical person) than that last all the way to dinner, the only human meal of the day. If you're magical, then you have to work on curses, hexes, charms, dueling, transfiguration, etc. Then after diner, there is potions and herbology - everyone can do those, magical or muggle, until ten. Then, and only then, do you have free time. It's lights out at eleven, though, believe me, most just conk out at ten."
"Sounds lovely."
"Oh, it's worth it when you start going out on assignment."
"What are the missions like?"
"Well..." Alex mumbled something to herself.
"Excuse me?"
"I said, this is my first assignment."
Dawn's reply was interrupted as Harry and Draco came in, trying to explain the basics of Quidditch to Spike and a very confused Xander.
"You actually fly on broomsticks?" asked Xander doing strange hand motions to illustrate what was suppose to be a wizard zooming around. He was actually just waving his fingers exuberantly.
"Hey, Draco?" Dawn broke in to address the wizard closest to her. "You and Harry have been on missions right? I mean, Spike mentioned hearing about you."
"Really?" The blond boy looked at the bleached vampire.
"Just a rumor," Spike said. "You know, about Wellington....."
"What happened in Wellington?" asked Dawn.
"I've never heard this story either," said Alex.
"Well," Draco began. "You want to take this one, Harry?"
Harry sighed. "Alright. It all started when we were called to Ardesco's office. He said it was suppose to be a routine hunt. So we went. It was an old cemetery, just on the edge of town......."
****************************************************************************
December 24th, 1995
"It's bloody cold out here," Draco shivered. He pulled his coat around him tighter as he and Harry sat at the base of an old oak tree, surrounded by three feet of snow, going stir-crazy. They were suppose to be staking out the entrance of an active nest of bloodsuckers, but nothing was happening. None of them had gone in or out and the pair had begun to suspect that this was some sort of holiday prank revenge. They still swore they hadn't meant to 'spill' that bottle of firewhisky into Ardesco's coffee pot. "And boring. Nothing is going on!"
Harry looked up at the sky. "Maybe we are suppose to be on the lookout for Father Christmas."
"Father Christmas is not a vampire."
"Do you know him personally?"
"No....."
"Then how do you know he's not a vampire?"
"I just do!"
"Fine, but when reindeer with fangs swoop down on us, I'm going to say 'I told you so'."
"You are driving me insane!" Draco looked over at his friend, baffled as to how he could be reclining so comfortably in the negative temperatures. "And how is it that you're not freezing?"
"Warming Charm," was the simple reply.
"You couldn't have mentioned that two hours ago - "
**************************************************************************
"Are you going to get to the point anytime soon?" Spike asked. Harry looked put-out.
"Fine, fine. Anyway, we're sitting out there, now both fully warm (Draco shot him a glare), for a few more hours. It was snowing again when........"
After a minutes silence, Dawn prompted, "When what?"
"We realized we had fallen asleep."
**************************************************************************
"I can't believe you didn't wake me up!" exclaimed Draco.
"How could I have woken you up when I was asleep," Harry pointed out.
Draco ignored him. "Edge is going to have a field day with this. We'll never live it down!"
"Maybe we can just forget to mention this part."
"There's just one problem with that. Now we don't know if there are any vampire's in there or if it's been abandoned."
"Then we'll wait until sunrise and then see if anybody's home."
"Do you really want to spend your Christmas Eve turning into a human popsicle? These charms only last so long, Deni, and it takes too much energy to keep recasting them......"
"Do you have a better - " Harry stopped. "Did you hear that?"
There was a strange crunching noise - the sound of a boot on snow.
"It's coming from over there." Draco whispered, pointing towards the small catacomb a few feet away from them. Whoever was out walking was on the other side.
"We can't see from here. I'm going to go up and see what I can find out." He motioned to the tree branches above them and started climbing. Draco listened closely, only to catch Harry's mumbled "Oh shit."
"What's going on?" Receiving no answer, Draco sighed and climbed up into the trees as well.
Harry was perched about twenty feet up, staring through the leaves with a look of anxiety on his face. Draco followed his gaze and his breath stopped short.
Gathered by the wall of the building were about thirty vampires. They seemed to be in the middle of some sort of meeting.
"Can you hear what they are saying?" Harry asked. Draco shook his head. "Think we should go closer?"
"Are you nuts?" Draco hissed fiercely.
"That's up for debate."
"There is a reason why you were made a Gryffindor and I was a Slytherin, you know."
Echoing what he had started to say earlier, Harry replied, "Do you have a better idea?"
At the lack of response, Harry pushed forward, leaving Draco to reluctantly follow behind, muttering about 'moronic Gryffindor bravery'.
"Shut up, Im!" They were now directly above the corrugation.
Draco gulped and their was a load creaking noise. "What was that?" he whispered, just as the branch fell out from beneath them. ************************************************************************
"You fell out of a tree?" Everyone jumped as Buffy's voice came from the doorway where she and Willow were standing. They hadn't heard them come in.
"Unfortunately," said Draco.
*************************************************************************
"Well, well, well. What do we have here?" said one of the vamps. Harry looked up at him, smiling brightly.
"Hello. Do you think we could borrow a cup of sugar?" Someone, or something, hauled him up from behind, pinning his arms to his sides. "I'll take that as a no."
*************************************************************************
The entire room was staring at him.
"Sugar?" Xander asked, disbelievingly. "You didn't really ask for sugar, did you?"
"He did," Draco murmured.
"Hey," Harry defended. "A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort*."
"Just get on with the story."
*************************************************************************
"Looks like we've got ourselves a couple of spies, Kahar" a member of the crowd called out.
"Not spies," said Kahar, the vampire from before. He eyed the stakes on their belts. "Hunters." He let out a deep chuckle. "Not very good ones apparently."
"Hey! We don't go around saying that you aren't very good bloodsucking demons do we?" Harry said.
"Deni, Draco Dormiens Nunquam Titilandus," Draco said wearily.
*************************************************************************
"Huh?" asked Buffy.
"It's Latin," Anya said. She had slipped in sometime during the confrontation/sugar part. Everyone looked at her. "Well I don't know what it means."
"Never tickle a sleeping dragon," explained Alex. "It's the motto of Hogwarts."
"Cool!" Dawn exclaimed. she turned to Draco. "So your name means Dragon?"
Draco nodded. "And don't tickle me."
************************************************************************
"So you went to Hogwarts?" Kahar.
Harry rolled his eyes theatrically to Draco. "And I'm the one who is screwing this up?"
"Shut up," said Draco.
"And, to answer your question, Kahar, is it?" Harry asked. "No we aren't from Hogwarts, not anymore."
"Were you," Kahar gasped. "Expelled?" There were a few laughs from the crowd.
"Technically, no," replied Draco.
"I can only think of one person who should have been expelled from Hogwarts, but 'technically' wasn't."
"Really?"
"Of course. It was all over the papers you know."
**************************************************************************
"Do the undead actually read newspapers?" Xander wondered.
"Great minds think alike," Draco said under his breath.
"Yes we do!" said Spike indignantly. "That's stereotyping, you know!"
"Quiet! I want to hear what happens next," snapped Dawn.
**************************************************************************
"Do the undead actually read newspapers?" Draco wondered.
************************************************************************* "That's very creepy, " Willow said.
"Maybe they share a brain!" said Alex.
"It would explain a lot," Harry said. "Like why Draco always seems to only be using half of his."
There was silence for a few seconds. Then -
"Hey!"
************************************************************************
"Yes we do!" Kahar said, indignantly. "That's stereotyping, you know!"
************************************************************************
"Again," said Willow. "Very creepy."
"Is he a cousin of yours?" Buffy asked her boyfriend.
"Let's just listen to what happens next," Anya said.
**********************************************************************
"Sorry," said Draco sarcastically.
"Somebody's PMSing today," muttered Harry.
Kahar glared at him. "I definitely wasn't expecting Harry Potter to crash our party."
"Well, yours was the best one going on," Harry said. "The others had bland punch or bad music. Or they just breathed to loudly for my taste. Not too much of that going on here, though."
"Be glad that you picked this one then. We've got a lovely parting gift for you." He pulled out a silver dagger from his back pocket and pointed it right at Harry's throat.
"Harry?" Draco asked.
"Yes?"
"Can I have your Firebolt?"
***********************************************************************
"Your best friend is about to be skewered and you ask to have his broom?" Alex shouted.
"Sheesh, Flame. Calm down," said Draco.
"You do realize he could have died just then?!?"
"And if he did, then I would have been dead, too. Do you really think I could have taken all of those demons by myself?"
***********************************************************************
"Sure, mate."
"Thanks."
"That was really touching and all," Kahar drawled. "but we have more important things to do." He smirked. "I'm sure they have a nice warm spot in Hell saved for you, Potter."
"That's all right," Harry said nonchalantly. "I need to work on my tan."
"Merry Christmas. Satan's waiting." Kahar pushed the knife towards Harry's throat and found it going through his own flunky. "What the - ?" He was hit from behind.
"I can Apparate, you moron." Harry shoved a stake through Kahar's heart and sang out when he was dusted, "And a Happy New Year!"
Meanwhile, Draco managed to elbow the vamp guarding him and proceeded in beating the crap out of him. "I had to sit in the snow out here for five hours! If I can never have children, it will be entirely your fault! I will make sure you never forget that! Even if you're dead," he added as he staked him. Draco looked up and realized that everyone was staring at him. "What?"
"Finished?" Harry asked amused.
Draco smirked. "Let's kick some vampire arse!"
***************************************************************************
"How many did you end up killing?" Alex asked when the story appeared to be over.
"Thirty-six," Draco said lazily.
Spike blinked. "That doesn't exactly make a guy sleep soundly at night."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
HOW TO DEFEAT A VAMPIRE
By: Cho Chang
There are many ways to injure and even kill a vampire. The most well known one is to stake them through the heart. Now the stake must be made of wood or it won't properly work. When a vamp gets staked, it turns to dust.
There is also holy water, which is more used for injuring. It would take a lot of holy water to kill a vampire. It will burn the skin. A cross has the same effect.
Vampires can not come out in sunlight. This will cause them to burst into flames. If you suspect someone to be a vampire, it's easy to prove or disprove depending on if they go out into sunlight (this is right up there with them not being able to enter a place without being invited in means of identifying them). It is hard to tell if someone is a vampire if they don't have their vamp face on (fangs, wrinkly skin - it's very disturbing, so you'll know it when you see it).
Which brings us to beheading, another useful way to kill a vampire. Though, setting them on fire works well, too..........
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- --------------------------
Cho's report isn't very good - I wrote it at two a.m. with a bad case of insomnia.
* = quote by Herm Albright