Updated: Saturday 11th June 2005
Disclaimer: Not mine.
Chapter Eighty Seven: Christmastime Contemplations
"Let me get this straight…" Estella said, her mind still trying to wrap itself around the developments that had taken place while she had been in the past. "Pettigrew being his charming backstabbing self I get, and now Malfoy has me in his sights, but what does it have to do with Uncle Sev?"
"Estella, it is imperative that your Uncle maintains the Dark Lord's favour." Albus Dumbledore said gravely. "Especially now that he is gaining strength again."
"Oh, I get it. He's supposed to be all loyal and stuff, so the revelation that I'm not…" Estella's voice trailed off. "You're not going to keep me away from him, are you? He wouldn't hurt me."
"Those of us in this room know that, child." Albus assured her. "But for certain eyes in this school it must appear as though your Uncle is thoroughly displeased with you, and you with him. When term returns and news of your return is widespread I will have to appear to go to great lengths to protect you from him. You will not be placed in a situation where other students can witness you being alone with him."
"This is crazy." Estella snapped defensively. "It's bad enough I still have to pretend to be afraid of my own father and act like he is a crazed criminal on the loose! Now you want me to make a public spectacle of renouncing my Uncle? I won't have it!"
"Estella, it will be extremely compromising to your Uncle's cover if you don't go along with it." Remus cautioned her calmly.
"To hell with his cover then!" Estella snapped, kicking back her bedclothes in frustration as the bubbling fury in her veins caused her body to flush and redden with increased blood flow. "If it is true that Voldemort is getting stronger, I for one wouldn't want to endanger my Uncle by sending him back into the snake's pit!"
"Estella, he will be in just as much danger if his cover is blown." Sirius tried to reason with her. "You will be in more danger."
"You weren't in a meeting with other teachers when you were delayed coming here, were you?" Estella narrowed her eyes at the scheming headmaster distrustfully. "You were forcing this crap down my Uncle's throat, weren't you?"
"I see I cannot fool you, child." Albus nodded his head wearily, holding his hand up haltingly when the enraged child opened her mouth to retort. "Please, Estella, just hear me out first."
"Why should I? You never heard me out, remember?" Estella sulked. "And we all know what happened because of it! Fate my arse…"
"Estella!" Sirius scolded his daughter lightly. "Come now, sweetheart. This is a difficult time for all of us here and you're not making it any easier."
"Oh yeah, right." Estella turned her glare to her father, a look of pained betrayal flashing in her irises. "Like the prospect of my Uncle risking his life and possibly getting killed would upset you. You hate each other... and don't even THINK of denying it!"
Sirius exhaled sharply and pulled away to wash a hand over his face hopelessly. Taking his cue, Remus leaned in.
"Estella, no one is suggesting that this situation is ideal." Remus said, gripping her chin between thumb and forefinger so that he could look the child in the eye. "War is approaching… and just like before we all have to do things we do not like."
"Where is my Uncle now? I want to speak to him about this." Estella said, relenting slightly.
"I am afraid that is not possible." Dumbledore said quietly. "He and I felt it imperative that he put his role into action immediately. He is presently making amends with Lucius Malfoy and announcing his intentions to turn you, child. Though I assure you for all intensive purposes, his public attempts to get to you will be thwarted at every turn and he will not be held accountable for your actions."
"You lie." Estella hissed, lunging for the irritatingly meddling old man, only to be held back by two strong pairs of arms on either side. "He would not have left without seeing me first!"
"I assure you his only concern was for your safety." Albus stepped back physically, but pushed on in his verbal attempts to placate the child. "He was under the impression you would be fine in the company of your father and godfather."
"It's not fair." Estella growled. "He only just got me back! He was only just starting to be open with me and now you're making him close himself off all over again! How could you!"
"Your Uncle's contribution to our defence will, again, be invaluable to us, Estella. You should be very proud of what he is doing." Albus tried to make the child see reason, but still she strained against her guardians, glaring at him murderously. "I regret the cost it has come to him and his family but there is no other way…"
"Bollocks!" Estella spat, her eyes glinting darkly in determination. "There is another way, and you know it!"
"Estella… no!" Sirius gasped. "You can't!"
"I've already been playing the role my entire life, haven't I Headmaster?" Estella challenged. "How is this any different?"
"Estella!" Remus exclaimed. "This isn't a game anymore. You don't have any idea what you would be getting yourself into."
"So? Uncle Sev was barely a few years older than me when he turned spy and no one spared a thought for what he was getting himself into!" Estella growled. "Besides, Uncle Remus, you said yourself that I was good. That day with my grandmother's portrait, remember?"
"That was a portrait, Estella." Remus' voice caught in his throat. "You've already met Voldemort one too many times."
"War is approaching, Uncle Remus." Estella said, repeating his earlier words antagonistically. "You said it yourself not five minutes ago - we all have to do things we do not like! Don't you remember anything James' Dad taught us? Chivalry is a weakness!"
Sirius and Remus looked at each other and groaned – they had been had.
"Estella…" Albus chanced another step forward now the child was complacently leaning back on her pillows, her arms crossed defensively. "Your Uncle is doing things this way to protect you."
"Haven't I already proven that I am perfectly capable of taking care of myself?" Estella challenged the wizard, a renewed light in her eyes. "He shouldn't have to do it alone."
"You foolish child." A new voice interjected from the entrance of the infirmary, the owner shrouded by the shadows of the late afternoon sun. "I would soon as die than drag you any further into this."
"Uncle Sev!" Estella cried out in relief. "You're alright!"
"Of course I am alright, you idiot child." Severus informed his niece gruffly, uncomfortable in the presence of the other two men in her life. "I have been doing this since before you were born."
"And I've been doing it since I was born!" Estella looked at her Uncle levelly. "I want to help you."
Exchanging a look with his distraught brother-in-law, Severus swapped seats with the man and took Estella's hand. "Estella. I know you have assisted me greatly in the past." Severus praised the child. "And I do not deny that you performed to great effect." At this he looked her square in the eye. "But the stakes have increased and I will not subject you to…"
"Uncle Sev!" Estella pleaded with her uncle.
"No, Estella." Severus said firmly, unrelenting in his goal. "I never wanted you involved in the first place, but at the time I had no choice. If I was to be the one raising you, it had to appear as though you were sympathetic with the dark."
"How have things changed, then?" Estella challenged her uncle.
"As much as I'd care to deny it, you have your father now, Estella." Severus sighed, sharing a meaningful look with his brother-in-law. "To explain your absence, I have firmly established the fact that your father kidnapped you and subjected your mind to his influence against my wishes."
"So?" Estella shook her head nonchalantly.
"So, now you have a chance to be yourself." Severus sighed. "For Merlin's sake, child, grasp it with both hands."
"Your Uncle's right." Sirius added. "Now you can finally tell Draco Malfoy what you think of him and not be afraid to say what you think. You can be a regular teenager, like you should be."
"But what about you, Uncle Sev?" Estella looked at her uncle worriedly. "When will you get to be yourself?"
"I gave up on that opportunity many years ago when I made the mistake to join Voldemort." Severus informed his niece. "It is my cross to bear. It was wrong of me to ever impose it upon you, but there was no other way. Now I can finally do what's best for you."
"It's not fair, Uncle Sev." Estella furrowed her brow.
"Life never is." Two voices chorused, their respective owners glaring at each other uncomfortably when it appeared they shared more than just a child in common.
Turning back to look at his niece, Severus looked at her imploringly. "Please, Estella. Do this for me?" Severus urged her to go along with Dumbledore's plans.
"Fine." Estella nodded her assent to her Uncle before looking to the headmaster and her other two guardians in turn. "Don't think this means I am happy with you, Headmaster…I am only agreeing to this because it is what my Uncle wants." She said. "…and you two… can cut it with the chivalry, alright?" Then addressing the three younger men as a whole she scowled warningly. "ANY of you go and get yourselves killed and I will bring you back to life just to kill you myself, you hear?"
Three heads nodded hesitantly, each of them warmly reminded of the child's mother.
"Now, do you think we could manage to get through one Christmas as a family without killing each other?"
Estella was therefore smuggled out of Hogwarts that night to spend the Christmas season with both her Uncle, Godfather and Father at her parent's matrimonial home in London. To ensure their safety, Dumbledore performed the Fidelius Charm on the property, enlisting himself as secret keeper, and Severus split his time equally between his sister's former home and the school so as to not draw suspicion by being completely absent. Estella was not particularly happy with the arrangement that saw Dumbledore as her family's secret keeper, but even she couldn't deny that not only would the enemy have a hard time getting to Dumbledore, the man himself would have little reason to endanger them.
The decision had been made early on in the piece not to alert any of the students – not even Harry – of Estella's return until school returned for the Spring term. Severus had confided in Lucius Malfoy that he had heard wind of his niece's return, but that she was yet to reappear at the school; implying that the headmaster seemed to be keeping him from her covertly.
When Estella had returned to her bedroom in her father's home, she had been surprised to find the trunk she had used in the past sitting at the end of her bed. Still sore and weary from her ordeal, Estella slunk to the floor heavily to explore what was inside. Drawn to her room by the sound of her body hitting the floor, Sirius rushed in and scooped the child from the floor.
"What are you doing?" He fussed over her overbearingly, moving her towards the bed. "You are supposed to be resting! You can go through your things later."
Madame Pomfrey had only discharged the child that same day because Dumbledore had convinced her that it was not safe for the child to be seen at the school yet and that she would receive sufficient respite care where she was going. The potions her Uncle had supplied her with were enough to keep her alert and pain free, but her battered body still needed time to heal itself.
"I can rest on the floor while I slowly go through my trunk!" Estella protested. "It's only 7 o'clock! I can't go to sleep yet, it's too early!"
"Trust me, Estella, after the day you've had you'll sleep a solid twelve hours easily once you give yourself the chance to rest." Sirius chided her, settling her on the bed before reaching for an all-too-familiar vial. "Your Uncle brewed this fresh for you. Come now, drink it and it will be morning before you know it."
"But I want to wait up until Moony and Uncle Sev get back!" Estella protested, turning her head away from the offending sleep potions. "Where did they go, anyway?"
"Your Uncle left to make an appearance at the school so that the students don't realise he's gone, and your Godfather went to get some supplies."
"He went out by himself? Is he crazy? It's not safe!" Estella said, panicking.
"He's incognito, I assure you." Sirius sighed, transfiguring his daughter's robes into pyjamas with a flick of his wand and moving to cover her with a blanket. "Besides, the most obvious place to look is often the last you think of; and the charm will protect him within a certain radius of this house so he's perfectly safe."
"Alright, I believe you." Estella tried to stifle her yawn. "And I'll go to sleep now. Tomorrow after all will be our first real Christmas together and I most certainly do not want to spend it in bed."
"Yes, it will be," Sirius said in a choked sort of voice. "…and no I wouldn't want to keep you in bed either. But you do need your rest now."
"I'm sorry." Estella said regretfully as she snuggled down under the covers. "I haven't been able to get you anything."
Sirius shook his head at her. "Are you crazy? Just you being home safe again is more than enough, don't worry." Leaning over to kiss her goodnight and hand her the potion, he brushed a hair from her face. "Goodnight, sweetheart."
"Goodnight, Dad." Estella yawned, hardly bothering to put up a fight against the potion that nullified her senses and swept her off into a dreamless sleep.
When Estella awoke the next morning, it was to the appetising scent of cinnamon toast and wassail; and the distant murmur of voices downstairs. Stretching out her limbs experimentally, the recovering girl was overjoyed to note that her body had benefited greatly from an uninterrupted night of sleep. Glancing at her clock, she was astonished to note that she had been out for over thirteen hours, for her clock now read 8:35am. Evidently, her three guardians had chosen to let her sleep off the effects of the potion naturally and get ready in her own time. With that in mind, part of her was tempted to keep herself occupied going through her things in her room quietly; to see how long it will take for one of the men downstairs to grow impatient and come check on her, but a more dominating part of her was looking even more forward to spending Christmas with them all together – something she had always wanted - that she scrambled out of bed decisively and got ready to go downstairs.
Forgoing a shower for the time being (for not only was she much too impatient to get downstairs, but she had been so thoroughly sterilised when the nurse treated her the day before that she couldn't bare the thought of soap and water again so soon), Estella pulled out her favourite midnight blue robe and piled her hair out of her face with a simple, glittery clasp. Then, washing the sleep out of her face in the basin and scrubbing her teeth clean, Estella went to leave the room only to turn back and put on a pair of thick woollen socks, save the lecture she'd undoubtedly get from her Uncle otherwise. Years of living in cold, stone floored dungeons with the man had resulted in countless battle of the socks in that Estella would always forget to wear them, preferring the feel of the fire on her naked foot, or the cushiony warmth from sitting on her feet on the couch, to the itchy constriction that wearing socks without shoes caused.
Closing the door silently behind her, Estella crept downstairs to the kitchen, where she could hear the voices coming from.
"Come on Severus…" She heard her father urge the man. "If you don't wear them too the whole effect will be ruined!"
"I will not make a laughing stock of myself in honour of a stupid Muggle custom!" Her Uncle could be clearly her saying as she faltered on the other side of the kitchen door.
"Come now, Severus." Estella recognised Remus' level tone. "We'll all be making equal arses of ourselves. Do it for Estella."
"I can hardly see how subjecting myself to such degradation could be of benefit to my niece." Severus argued.
"If you loved her, you wouldn't care, only that it would make her smile." Sirius challenged his brother in law.
"Give me the damn headpiece before I change my mind." Severus scowled.
Estella stifled a gasp of curiosity as she could hear snapping of elastic and rustling of material alongside her uncle's undignified grunts of protest.
"I don't know why I am doing this." The man grumbled, no doubt glaring at the other two men in the room. "Black if you so much as smirk in my direction I will not hesitate to hex you, Estella or no."
"Severus, don't forget the pact." Remus said warningly. "Temporary amnesty, remember? We want to make this a good Christmas for Estella, not a repeat of what happened over Summer."
"I do have a memory, Lupin." Severus scowled.
Estella chose that moment to make her presence known. Pushing open the kitchen door lightly, she walked in.
"Good morning… Merry…" Taking in the appearance of her three guardians, Estella was rendered speechless and stood there, mouth agape.
"Surprise." Two eager voices and one not-so-pleased, chorused as rehearsed.
"Oh… oh… sweet mother of Merlin!" Estella managed, rubbing her eyes furiously in disbelief. "What have you done to yourselves?"
Standing before her were her beloved father, godfather and uncle wearing goofy festive paper hats and plastic red Rudolph noses held over their noses with elastic.
"They were selling them at the store down the road." Remus said helpfully. "They're Muggle."
"I can see that!" Estella exclaimed, smiling broadly. "But whatever possessed you to make such arses of yourselves?"
Severus glared at his conspirators triumphantly as though to say 'see?'. When he saw the joy their surprise had brought to his niece's eyes, however, he couldn't bring himself to take it off. Sirius, meanwhile, had moved over to his daughter and enveloped her in a hug.
"Merry Christmas, Missy." He said to her jovially. "Don't worry, Moony got you one too."
Estella pulled away and shook her head. "No way!" She smirked, catching her Uncle's eye. "I will not make a laughing stock of myself in honour of a stupid Muggle custom."
"You were at the door!" Severus spluttered. "Why didn't you come in sooner?"
"Why, and miss you make a royal arse of yourself?" Estella teased him, giving him a quick hug that he returned awkwardly. "Besides, Dad was right, it has made me smile. Thank you."
Her Uncle made a indecipherable sound of acknowledgement and ruffled her hair slightly as he pulled away. Beside them, Remus approached brandishing another paper hat and red nose.
"Come on, Estella. You too." Remus said in a sing-song voice. Estella backed away, waving her hands in front of her as she shook her head. "Oh come on now, cub, don't be like that! You want to make your father smile, don't you?"
Estella cast her father a superior look. "Oh I am sure I can do that well enough without resorting to cheap Muggle tricks."
"Oh really?" Sirius said, coming up behind her and holding her in place. "Try me."
Smiling malevolently, Estella spun around in her father's arms and hugged him tightly. Then, placing a sloppy kiss on his plastic red nose she looked him square in the eyes and told him, in no uncertain terms, that she loved him. As predicted, Sirius couldn't keep the grin that was twitching at his lips at bay and he smiled broadly. Turning back around to face the hat-wielding Remus triumphantly, Estella cocked a brow at the man and smirked triumphantly.
"See? I don't need to wear it now." She said.
"On the contrary." Remus smirked back at her, nodding to Sirius whose arms around her waist suddenly held her tight enough to stop movement. "You will ruin the family photo if you don't."
"What?" Two voices roared, one man, one child. The dark eyed man continued. "I will not be a party to the immortalisation of such humiliating exposition!"
Feeling her father sigh behind her and seeing her Godfather hesitate as he moved to put the hat on her head forcibly, Estella sighed and took the nose from her Godfather's hand to willingly place it on her nose. Then, worming out of her father's grip, she rushed over to her Uncle, all paper hat and red nose, and grabbed his wrist as he went to remove his costume.
"Please, Uncle Sev?" Estella looked up at him pleadingly. "I think a family photo is a swell idea."
"It is not that I am against the notion of posing for a photograph, Estella." Severus sighed, lowering his hand temporarily. "I just do not wish to be photographed… like this."
"Please, Uncle Sev?" Estella kept on. "We're going to have to pretend to hate each other in class. It will be hard for me sometimes to remember that you won't mean what you say."
"Estella…" Severus began, trying to find the words that could assure the child that no matter how he acted with her in public once they got back to the school he would never mean a single breath of it.
"Please, Uncle Sev… I'll keep it in a really secret, really safe place." Estella cut him off, referring to the pending photograph. "It will help me remember what you're really like… that you were willing to honour a stupid Muggle custom and make an arse of yourself for me, to make me smile."
Looking down into his niece's puppy dog eyes, her pouting face only accentuated by the silly paper hat and ridiculous red nose, Severus could not say no (though had he actually seen how ridiculous he looked at that moment he might have reneged).
"Fine. Let's get this photo over and done with then." Severus relented, before looking at the other two men in the room threateningly. "Black… Lupin… either of you so much as mention to another living soul that this image exists and I will personally see to it that your pumpkin juice is spiked with a potion that will do more than just turn your hair green." At that he looked at Estella knowingly. "And you, young lady, must promise me that you won't leave your copy lying around where anyone could see it. I dare say the story it depicts will go against the cover we have established between ourselves."
Estella nodded solemnly in agreement. Inwardly she was smirking with glee… he never told her she couldn't actually show anyone; just that she couldn't leave it lying around where anyone could see it.
The photo was taken with the mismatched family posing around the impressively decorated Christmas tree in the living room. Sirius had apparently been up all night decorating it in hues of blue and silver (in honour of his daughter's house), using a box of old charmed ornaments Selina had bestowed upon him on the occasion of their first Christmas together in the house as a married couple some fourteen years previously. When Sirius told Estella as such, the awed child could only marvel at her mother's handiwork – the love and attention that went into the detailed pieces far surpassing the warm, yet comparably impersonal efforts the Christmas decorations at Hogwarts exhibited. With this being Estella's first Christmas morning away from Hogwarts, it only seemed fitting that it also be the first time the house of her parents played host to a tree and decorations since her mother's death.
Even Severus had been affected by the tree's beauty. He'd recognised his sister's handiwork right away, of course, but it still remained as one of the most impressive festive sights he had ever laid eyes on.
"Are we expecting more guests?" Estella asked innocently as she took in the sheer volume of gifts that surrounded the tree. Sirius and Remus shook their heads slowly, exchanging a knowing look. "Whoever are all those gifts for then?"
"You." Sirius' lips curled into a smile as his fingers itched to start giving the many gifts he had bought to his daughter, for he was very eager to discover what she thought of them all.
"Oh." Estella said, frowning slightly. "You do remember what I told you last night…"
"Estella." Sirius growled at his daughter. "None of that. Nothing could make any of us happier than seeing the joy on your face as you open your presents."
"Uncle Sev?" Estella looked at her Uncle for affirmation, uncomfortable at the notion of being so thoroughly spoiled.
"It's alright." Severus said, swallowing his pride. He too had perhaps been a little overzealous in buying gifts for his niece during her absence. "Go ahead."
"If it makes you feel any better, think of it as a combined birthday and Christmas." Remus suggested. "We all missed you on your birthday here and if I recall correctly you spent your birthday in the past in the infirmary with no one aware of the event."
"Here." Sirius said eagerly, handing her the first gift from him. It was a animated star chart for the northern hemisphere. "Wherever you are, at whatever time, it will show you on the map what stars you are seeing."
"Wow… I've never seen these before!" Estella marvelled at the map's ingenuity, almost wishing it were night time outside. "Thanks, Dad!"
"That's alright, sweetheart." Sirius gave his daughter a one armed hug from where he was kneeling next to her.
"I'd like to think you hadn't seen one of those before." Remus said, looking over the map reverently. "Why don't you tell Estella how you got it, Sirius?"
"It was your mother's wedding present to me." Sirius said thickly, his fingers tracing around the edges of the map idly. "She would have wanted you to have it."
"I… I… don't know what to say." Estella gasped, knowing how much it would have meant to her father to part with it. "I don't know if I can accept it. It was something Mum gave to you… it must mean an awful lot to you."
"Not nearly as much as something else your mother gave me." Sirius said, his fathomless grey eyes burning into her lovingly.
Catching onto the inference, Estella tucked the map away and smiled at her father appreciatively. "Oh." Was all she could say, looking down nervously. "I'll um, treasure it always."
"I know you will, sweetheart." Sirius smiled back and nodded to Severus to give her a gift next. "Sna…er, Severus?"
"Indeed." Severus inclined his head in acknowledgement and held out a gift to the child before him. "Merry Christmas, Estella."
From Severus, Estella had received an exquisite ring of white gold, the delicate band tastefully encrusted with a red ruby and onyx gem, a combination that complimented her mother's pendant splendidly without appearing too gregarious.
"Shortly before you were born, Estella, your mother came to see me." Severus said as he put the ring on the child's finger.
"She did?" Sirius narrowed his eyes at his brother-in-law, surprised at the revelation.
"It was very foolish and dangerous for her to do so." Severus acknowledged, nodding to his brother-in-law. "But it was for good cause."
"Did she give you this ring?" Estella asked, confused as she marvelled at the ring's simple beauty.
"No. She brought me that pendant you're wearing." Severus gestured towards the pendant she now wore proudly in plain sight. "The charms she placed on it are based on a very powerful form of blood magic. The more blood ties the charmed object has to its bearer, the more effective the protection; do you understand what I am saying?"
"She came to suck your blood!" Estella said dramatically, imitating Count Dracula in an attempt of levity.
Severus' lips twitched despite himself. He was all too aware of what the students called him behind his back. "For lack of a more articulate description, yes." He stated. "However, it was just not my blood she was after." He looked at Sirius nervously before beckoning for Estella's right hand. Turning her hand over in his, he gently outlined the creases on her palm with his fingers as though searching for something. "There." He said, his finger rubbing a small circle around an almost invisible blemish on her skin.
Holding her hand in front of her face to study the slightly paler, raised bit of skin more closely, Estella looked at her Uncle in question. "You?"
"You!" Sirius snarled, gently grabbing Estella's hand with one hand and caressing it with the other, searching for any evidence of foul play. "What did you do to my daughter?"
"Dad!" Estella chastised her father warningly. "Don't do this."
"I'm not doing anything, Estella." Sirius assured his daughter, all the while his eyes not leaving those of his brother-in-law. "If I was about to do something I would not have left my wand on the lounge. I was merely asking your Uncle a question."
"Civilly?" Estella questioned, raising a brow.
Sirius took a calming breath. "I'm sorry, Severus." He ground out as congenially as he could muster. "Do continue with your explanation."
"Why thank you, Sirius." Severus leered back with just as much enthusiasm. "As I was saying, your mother came to me for help. She knew war was upon us and that there was a chance something could happen to either herself or your father; and so she wanted to ensure you had some form of protection." He paused to take a breath. "While such protective charms are most effective when as many blood ties are invoked as possible, it remains imperative that the blood for such a charm be given willingly, with no impurity of heart."
"Well that just about ruled you out." Sirius muttered under his breath, yelping when his daughter elbowed him sharply in retribution. Severus, meanwhile, ignored the insult and continued.
"Your mother had collected her own and your father's blood, and had come to me for help with the potion which the pendant had to soak in for the charm to take effect." He paused again, a pained look flickering over his eyes. "Selina did not think I would be interested in assisting the child of my childhood nemesis, so she did not request my blood." He looked from Sirius to Estella meaningfully. "I insisted."
"I don't understand." Estella said, peering at her Uncle pensively. "My mother was competent in potions, wasn't she?"
"She did not trust herself with such an important potion." Severus said.
"Oh, how touching." Sirius drawled, yet the mocking tone in his voice was absent. "At what point will you get the part where blood from my unborn daughter was taken? How could a foetus willingly part with its own blood?"
"Legilimens." Estella looked to her Uncle knowingly. "I'm right, aren't I?"
"Your mother only wanted what was best for you, child, as did I." Severus assured her. "When I told her there was a possibility it could be done, she trusted me with the procedure."
"What did you do?" Estella asked, awed.
Closing his eyes briefly, Severus recounted the memory. "I placed my wand on your mother's belly and when your hand… this hand… made contact with me through your mother's womb, I entered your mind. When I came back to consciousness, there was a slither of blood on the tip of my wand and your mother bombarded me with questions about what I'd found inside your mind."
"What did you find?" Estella asked, curious, reaching for her glass of pumpkin juice.
"An insatiable hunger for Pumpkin Juice and a stubborn irritation at being couped up." Severus said with all manner of seriousness, giving her glass a meaningful look. "Your mother would have been about seven months along at that time."
"I remember that day!" Sirius said suddenly. "Selina came home and said you had been waving around like you were conducting a concerto all afternoon while she was at the apothecary and she felt rushed off her feet. I remember because an hour later I fell off the roof."
"You told me about that!" Estella exclaimed, her eyes flicking to the living room window that would have given a bird's eye view of her father's fall. "But gee, Dad, you are really ignorant when it comes to potions and apothecaries."
"No Snape would ever buy a potion ready made." Severus shook his head indignantly, completing Estella's sentence with a measure of disgust. "Estella, I trust you like the ring?"
"Oh, Uncle Sev, it's lovely." Estella said whole heartedly. "One thing though, what does the pendant have to do with it?"
"There used to be a brooch, on your grandmother's side, that passed from mother to daughter. It's featured ruby stone was imbued with centuries of protective charms as each bearer passed on their own protection to their child." Severus explained. "Your mother absolutely hated the horrendous looking thing, but she appreciated the value of such heritage. She extracted the stone, having a jeweller place it in the pendant of her own design. Your mother gave me what was left of the Ruby for safe keeping."
"So you had the ring made?" Estella smiled thankfully.
Severus nodded. "The black gem I sourced from a Snape family heirloom of similar integrity. I had planned to present it to your mother on the occasion of your birth so that it could work together with the pendant instead of being a liability against it. I was demonstrably delayed." He leant forward and fingered the pendant around Estella's neck gingerly. "I had no idea where to find this; and it did not feel right to give you the ring first."
"Thank you." A voice that was not Estella's croaked out, as a hand resembling an olive branch reached out to shake his hand. "I know we have our differences, but it's good to know my baby was in good hands all these years."
"A child can't help who it has for a father." Severus smirked, actually joking with his brother-in-law.
"Yes, because we all know if the general public viewed the two of us in light of who our fathers were we'd be best friends and sporting matching tattoos." Sirius smirked. "Though you really might want to consider your own advice when you next have my godson in a class."
Sensing the unfamiliar light mood between her father and uncle darken slightly, Estella scrambled to change the subject.
"I think it's about time for Uncle Remus to have his turn."
In all, Estella was overwhelmed with a myriad of books, stationery and clothes. For something different, her Godfather had lavished her with items that were principally Muggle in origination – he, in particular, took great care in seeing to it that her burgeoning music collection was kept up to date. When she had unwrapped the Muggle Boom Box however, Severus and Sirius groaned, with Sirius quite vehemently telling the werewolf that he would be responsible for the soundproofing charms.
"Already taken care of." Remus had nodded knowingly.
"That's what you were doing last night when you got home!" Sirius had exclaimed.
After she was done explaining to her uncle the Muggle technology behind the compact disc and agreeing with him that it was a form of magic onto itself, Estella got stuck into opening the rest of her presents. It was the last two gifts from her father that drew the largest response from her. The first of these gifts, was a Firebolt.
"You got me a broom?" Estella looked at her father disconcertedly. "You of all people should remember what happened the last time I got on a broom."
"Yes, I do." Sirius nodded his head in all manner of seriousness. "You flew like the wind and loved every minute of it."
"Until I plummeted to the ground in a body bind." Estella shot back, frowning.
Sirius sighed. "A stupid, stupid mistake." He apologised profusely. "So we need to work on your landings…"
"I don't know if I can do it." Estella eyed the broom warily. "But I suppose with things being as dangerous as they are at the moment, I'm hardly safer on the ground."
"That's the spirit." Sirius smiled.
"It will set us all at ease if you acquired the skill." Remus added softly. "You never know when you may need to call upon it."
Noticing his niece's apprehensive look, Severus eyed the broom disdainfully. "Still, B…Sirius… wouldn't it have been wiser to start her on a less powerful broom?" He suggested, gesturing towards the overwhelmed look on Estella's face.
"I did think of that." Sirius said to Severus before turning to Estella. "I did think of that, I swear." He continued. "But at the end of the day if there ever comes a time where you need to use a broom to get out of a sticky situation, I for one feel a lot more comfortable knowing that it's the fastest on the market."
"Thanks Dad." Estella said finally. "I can't promise to get over the fear of falling and fly recreationally, but I promise I'll learn how."
The last gift her father gave her was a set of intricately hand crafted dress robes. More specifically, they were the dress robes she, Lily and Selina had been fussing over that day in Hogsmeade.
"When you disappeared," Sirius began by way of explanation. "Your name simply joined the large list of students whose parent's pulled them out of the School. Only James, Remus and I had the idea that Dumbledore was covering up for something; and we didn't want to break it to the girls that there was the chance that you had perished." He cleared his throat. "To make you feel better, Selina and Lily pooled their resources and bought you those dress robes. They seemed to believe that a girl could get her kicks from merely dressing up for her own enjoyment."
"Wow." Estella's eyes welled up with tears. "Where on earth…"
"She gave it to Dumbledore to pass on to you." Sirius explained. "It was amongst the things I collected of yours from the headmaster after you had gone back in time. I'm sorry but it appears that any note that came with it perished."
"No, it's alright." Estella said wistfully. Then, changing the subject, she turned to her godfather. "So, you going to tell me who you ended up going with at the end?"
"Peter and I went stag." Remus answered her, cringing at the mention of the traitor's name. "James didn't stop teasing us all night. Kept insisting that he was the stag."
"I'm sure Lily would have been thrilled." Estella smiled thinly, a pained look in her eyes as she looked away, blinking furiously.
"Hey… hey, hey, hey!" Sirius soothed his child, wrapping her up in a hug. "Come now, none of this, alright? I know it's hard sweetheart but they would have wanted you to be happy today."
"I know." Estella said, inhaling deeply through her nose. "I just miss… oh…" She stood up suddenly, wincing when the blood rushed back down to her cramped legs. "I just thought of something! I'll be right back."
"Hey, no running! You're still recovering!" Sirius yelled after his daughter as she flew out of the room, his words having no effect.
Ten minutes later she emerged from her room and returned downstairs to the living room where the men were clearing away the wrapping paper and drinking egg nog. Well, actually, Remus was busy enthusiastically comparing the features of his goddaughter's new boom box with the older, less advanced set up he had installed in the living room some 10 years earlier; and Sirius was drooling over her new broom and muttering about 'stupid Ministers' and 'damn rats' preventing him from getting his own broom and flying himself. Depressed with the notion of not being able to be seen in public until his name is cleared, Sirius turned his attention to Estella's new stereo.
"Damn Moony, would you look at that!" Sirius exclaimed excitedly to his friend. "This new stereo you got Estella plays really small records!"
"CDs, Sirius, they're called CDs." Remus corrected his friend, chuckling slightly. "Estella, you're back."
Estella was indeed back. In her hands she held three meticulously wrapped gifts, each looking as though they hadn't been touched in years.
"Where did you find those?" Sirius narrowed his eyes at his daughter. He didn't want to admit it, but he'd poured over 'Aries'' trunk from top to bottom in his attempt to capture his daughter's essence.
"Ask no questions and I'll tell no lies." Estella smiled, handing out a package to each man in turn. "I almost forgot I'd ordered these for your younger selves while I was in the past. I apologise if you've gotten it since…"
"It doesn't matter." Remus assured her, cursing as his blunt nails struggled to undo the 20 year old ribbon. There was just something about unveiling a gift – a hidden treasure – that was intoxicating to the threadbare werewolf, and he liked to savour the moment for as long as possible.
Severus unwrapped his gift first. It was a reinforced, silver plated scaling knife in a well appointed self-sharpening sheath of dark green dragon hide.
"I remember you saying in class how inept the scaling knives in the school kits were." Estella said, biting her lower lip. "And I wanted to get you something that wouldn't raise too many questions. I'm sorry if it's a bit impersonal."
"No, no, it was very thoughtful of you, thank you." Severus said. "I daresay that even until now I had never owned a decent scaling knife. They are notoriously difficult to find, wherever did you find it?"
"Ask no questions and I'll tell no lies." Estella smirked, tapping her nose twice. "Though I will say it's one of a kind and I ordered it the first month I was in the past."
Admiring the knife once again before returning it to its sheath, Severus looked at his niece appraisingly before nodding his assent. It was clear she was not going to divulge any more details about the knife at that time; though in all likelihood she had it custom made to very well defined and meticulously researched specifications. For something that was intended, at the time, to be 'impersonal', it was really quite distinctive – like a doubled edged sword. A true Slytherin gift.
"Oh, wow…" Sirius voice exclaimed in surprise as he opened his gift – a pocket telescope with embossed gold plating, the constellation of Canis Major clearly identifiable at the end of its retractable shaft. "You know, I had my eye on this! When I'd gone back to the store during the next Hogsmeade visit they told me it had been sold! I never saw one like it since."
"Ah so I guess I was on target then." Estella smiled, relieved. "Now you won't have to lug the telescope from my room up onto the roof while I'm away at school."
"I love it, thank you, sweetheart." Sirius smiled at his daughter appreciatively. "Moony, you done unwrapping yet? Oh for Merlin's sake, just tear into it!"
Intimidated by the three sets of eyes looking at him impatiently, Remus forwent his effort to preserve the wrapping paper and tore the rest of the package mercilessly, revealing a limited edition, gold – embossed numbered, picture disc debut release with bonus tour edition poster, guitar plectrum and live tracks of his all time favourite Muggle band. Remus' eyes lit up like spotlights on a stage.
"Oh… my… good Merlin Estella, wherever did you find this?" Remus pawed at the factory-sealed, never-played, mint condition 12" LP in disbelief. "They only pressed 500! They're impossible to find these days!"
"Ah, buy you're forgetting, Remus, that it was released in 1975." Estella said informingly, rolling her eyes at her Godfather's apparent shock-induced stupor.
"Yes, I know when it was released." Remus sighed. "I rue the fact that I got into the band five years too late to complete their back catalogue."
"Yes, you couldn't tell me enough, remember?" Estella shook her head in disbelief. "So it was a good thing your favourite Goddaughter had its release date burnt into her memory when she happened to find herself trapped in 1975."
"You… you didn't!" Remus gaped. "You did!"
"Well of course I did." Estella smirked victoriously. "Used the time turner so that I wouldn't be missed and snuck out to the Hog's Head in disguise. That place is so dark and skanky they didn't give a second glance to a ragged looking hunchback Flooing to London."
"You snuck out of the school and Flooed to London on your own?" Severus paled. "Do you have any idea how dangerous that was?"
"Merlin, not even Prongs and I dreamt of doing something so daring! We only ever snuck out to Hogsmeade for Butterbeer!" Sirius exclaimed, grinning at his daughter malevolently. "And you never got caught! You bring new meaning to the Marauder Code, my dear."
"Ah, I don't condone what I did." Estella said, looking at her Uncle particularly. "But it was a means to an end."
Remus was giddy with glee. His collection was now complete. Wrapping the child into a fierce hug, he was still beaming from ear to ear as he reverently extracted the precious vinyl from its gatefold sleeve and actually inhaled its preserved, new scent.
"I am so… so glad you are only giving this to me now, cub." Remus said appreciatively. "I would have not taken good care of it."
"Oh you would have." Estella's eyes glinted mischievously. "I bound it with a charm that would have ensured you would not have been inclined to play or part with it for ten years. It would have caused you to react indifferently at the time, but I knew you would have thanked me later."
"What store did you line up at to get this, Estella?" Remus asked her suddenly, his head darting up to regard her with a look of recognition. "They only pressed 500 copies… don't tell me you lined up there?"
"All the copies were sold there, Remus, you told me yourself." Estella said knowingly. "They marketed it that way to pull the crowd at the store…"
"…so they could film the video clip of their next single." Sirius finished, vaguely familiar with the story, having become well acquainted to Remus' musical tastes in recent times.
The wide-eyed werewolf was up like a flash and pretty much tripped over the coffee table in his haste to get to his video collection.
"Oh… no…" Estella gasped. "You don't… you do!" She cringed. "Um, Uncle Remus, I didn't get on the camera… really, no use pulling it out…" The excited werewolf located the videotape and moved to turn the TV on. Estella pushed on desperately. "No, please don't play it. I want to live through Christmas!"
"A little good humoured embarrassment will hardly kill you." Sirius nudged his daughter playfully. "Come on, aren't you curious to see if you made the cut?"
"That's what I am afraid of!" Estella groaned, cradling her head in her hands.
Remus found the tape and cued it. As the video clip began with a pan of the fans lined up at the studio in London, Estella could take it no more. Jumping up, she placed her body between the screen and its viewers.
"Estella, out of the way." Her father growled playfully while Remus leant forward and grabbed her round the waist outright, dragging her down with him to where he was sitting cross-legged on the rug. Defeated, Estella buried her head in her Godfather's chest, hiding herself from view while she waited for the laughter to start. Slowly but surely, her Godfather's chest began to shake and rumble with mirth, his laughter deepening.
Hearing the music stop, Estella chanced a look at the screen to see it had been switched off. Turning towards her father in confusion, she was surprised to see a pained look on his face.
"Dad?" Estella frowned, pulling away from Remus to reach out for the remote in her father's stilled hand. "It… it's ok. Might as well watch the rest now."
"It's time to eat." Sirius said distractedly. Setting the remote down and holding his hand out to help his daughter up. "I'm sure Remus has already seen that clip a thousand times."
"I would never have recognised you, cub." Remus said lightly, his eyes narrowing when he saw his friend flinch at the choice of endearment; the man making a note to question his friend about it later.
"What did you do to your hair?" Severus asked, offering a subtle change of subject when he could sense a brewing discomfort between the two Marauders.
"Hey… hey I remember that day!" Sirius' mouth flew open and shut like a fish as he stabbed a finger in Estella's direction, momentarily forgetting the strange stab of discomfort her had felt at seeing his daughter on the floor with Remus. "You told everyone I hexed your hair to look like that! I served a detention for that, thanks a lot! You could have at least done in Remus for the job!"
"Wait a minute, you didn't miss any classes that day…" Remus said. "..and you didn't turn up with the pink hair until before dinner. You used your time turner, didn't you?"
Estella nodded. "I said that! After class I borrowed Lily's Muggle hippie costume, grabbed a bottle of pepper up to keep me awake, and wound the time turner back 13 turns."
"So that's why you fell asleep in the library after dinner?" Sirius shook his head. "You weren't just dozing either – you were snoring so loudly James had to cast a silencing charm on you so you didn't draw attention. It took that conjured pitcher of ice water to rouse you, Merlin Pince was peeved about us getting those books wet!"
"I remember." Estella shivered, her hand rubbing the back of her neck in memory. "I also recall telling you that I didn't want to go to the library."
"Hey, all you had to tell us was that you had used a time turner to spend the day in London and was feeling rooted and we would have left you off the hook." Sirius held up his hands in defeat. "Good Merlin, the things we could have done with a time turner at our disposal, hey Moony?"
Lunch was an elaborate affair. In between decorating the living room and wrapping presents, Sirius had been just as busy in the kitchen, deploying both Muggle and magical means to whip up a culinary feast.
"Did you even sleep last night?" Estella eyed her father suspiciously, who shook his head sheepishly and muttered something about wanting to make sure everything was 'perfect' for their first Christmas together.
"Sirius! You told me you slept!" Remus' mouth fell open in indignation. "Merlin, Padfoot, you're going to make yourself ill."
"No, it's alright, Severus supplied me with an energising potion-majig." Sirius said freely, actually starting to enjoy the amnesty he had instigated with his brother-in-law for the day. Fighting got very tiring.
Estella and Remus' mouths gaped.
"Sirius! You called him Severus." Remus was awe struck.
"You actually took a potion from my Uncle trustingly?" Estella was beside herself with delight – her family finally seemed to be pulling together.
Sirius shrugged flippantly, not really knowing what the big deal was – Severus wouldn't do anything to him so long as he remained in Estella's favour – and Severus scowled lightly while he took a sip of his drink.
"Now I am positive you guys gave each other a dose of Unctuous Unction!" Estella shook her head in amazement. Her comment reaching Severus' ear just as he was taking a draught from his goblet, the man spluttered and sprayed his mouthful of pumpkin juice all over himself in shock.
Looking from his uncharacteristically undignified brother-in-law to his niece in confusion, a blank look on his face, Sirius narrowed his eyes. "Alright, will someone please enlighten me… what in Merlin's name is Unctuous Unction?"
Squirming uncomfortably in his chair as Sirius' eyes fell on him, the bona fide werewolf's cheeks flushed with his own memory of the potion. Meeting Sirius' questioning gaze head on, a knowing smile on his face and twinkle in his eye, Remus waited until Severus was taking another mouthful before speaking.
"Why don't you have Severus fetch you a dose, and you can find out?" He suggested innocently, smirking triumphantly when the unsuspecting potions master lost his mouthful again.
The sound of Estella's hearty peals of laughter softened the daggers in Severus' eyes as he once again found himself a target of the Marauder's mirth. No longer taking personal offence, the staunch Slytherin permitted the light-hearted Gryffindors their 'victory' and joined the two men in relishing the symphony of the child's laughter.
After lunch, Sirius was forcibly packed off to have a sleep by a equally concerned Estella and Remus and Severus excused himself to go break in his new knife downstairs in the potion's lab. While Estella went upstairs to see her father to bed and feed Buckbeak, Remus retired to the living room to pour over his 'new' LP reverently, proceeding to play it over and over and over.
"You keep playing it like that, Moony, and it will become a broken record." Estella growled as she came back down the stairs half an hour later. "I can hear it all the way upstairs in the attic! Aren't you tired of it yet?"
"Nope!" Remus replied excitedly, his beaming face appearing 10 years younger as he immersed himself in his music. "And you're one to talk… you would do exactly the same thing and you know it!"
"Only because I've grown up with your influence!" Estella retorted lightly, her head looking around for her Uncle distractedly. "Where's my Uncle? He still down stairs?"
Remus shrugged. "I suppose so."
Picking up the shiny new potions kit her Uncle had bought her, Estella excused herself from the living room. Knowing what her Godfather was like, he'd probably be in his own little world listening to his new album over and over for at least another hour. "If Dad wakes up, send him down. I'm going to go see if Uncle Sev wants to brew some Unctuous Unction with me."
"OK." Remus replied absently, his mind too busy committing lyrics to memory. By the time he had registered what Estella had suggested she was going to do, the child was already halfway to the kitchen.
"Oh… wait… Estella!" he called after her. "Don't you dare!"
Estella threw a smirk over her shoulder as she disappeared into the kitchen and Remus made a mental note to be very careful of what he drank over the next couple of days.
"Hey Uncle Sev." Estella said quietly, so as to not stun her Uncle as she let herself into the room. "I did try knocking and calling out to you but I guess you put up a silencing charm. Remus getting to you too, huh?"
"Whatever possessed you to buy him such an infuriatingly obnoxious gift?" Severus scowled lightly. "I trust you are having an enjoyable Christmas?"
"The best." Estella beamed happily, leaning her back against the counter beside her Uncle as he worked. "No offence or anything…"
"None taken." Severus said tightly, his lips pulled into a thin line. "I do acknowledge that the last few yuletides have not been very festive for you."
"You don't have to apologise, Uncle Sev." Estella said sincerely. "I know I bring it up sometimes, but I know it wasn't something you'd do on purpose." She paused. "Besides, you're here now, and that's saying something."
Severus nodded, a flash of relief washing over his eyes. "I regret that your family is not as straight forward as…"
"Things would hardly be as interesting if they were." Estella shrugged. "We may not be perfect, but we seem to pull together when it's needed, so it's a start."
The silence that followed was broken by the rhythmic noises of knife on cutting board, meticulous hands furiously at work as they refined the noble act of ingredient preparation into a fine art.
"Thank you." Estella said suddenly, resting her head on her Uncle's arm and sighing. "I know it's hard for you to be around him, and him to be around you."
"Estella." Severus faltered, his knife coming to a halt as he turned to face Estella a little more squarely. "I know you would love nothing more than your father and I to reconcile our differences… but… I don't know if that is possible. Too much has happened…"
"Nothing is impossible, Uncle Sev." Estella chastised her Uncle lightly. "But you don't have to explain. I don't want either of you doing something only because of me. The only way it will work is if you want it for yourself… and I understand that there's not much reason there for you to want that."
Severus nodded and returned to his work. Estella began to unpack her new potions kit beside him.
"Try not to kill each other with me in the room, though." She said seriously, a haunted look in her eyes. "I care very much about both of you and it's not very nice to see."
"You can say 'love', Estella, it won't bite." Severus drawled at her malevolently, turning her own words against her before gazing at her intently. In a softer tone of voice he added softly; "I won't be affronted to hear you say that you love him."
"I love you, Uncle Sev." Estella said, smiling acceptingly, happy with the man's willingness to accommodate her feelings towards his nemesis.
Looking her squarely in the eye, Severus put his new scaling knife down and flashed her a rare smile. "I love you too, child." He admitted finally, his healing heart finally accepting that he never truly lost his sister to Sirius and that he would not lose Estella to him either.
Like two well-oiled cogs, Estella and Severus worked side by side in companionable silence; their hands working with practiced grace and precision as they efficiently prepared ingredients for storage.
"Is there a particular potion you care to brew?" Severus asked her, relishing the idea of an afternoon in the contented company of his niece competently assisting him in a challenging potion.
"Uncle Sev, I can't believe you bought me a gold cauldron!" Estella's eyes marvelled the shiny new, never-used cauldron before her. "Not even Seventh year Potions require the use of gold cauldrons!"
"Yes, though that is more a funding practicality than desirability." Severus sighed. "Very few students show the potential, let alone the passion to want to advance to such superior equipment."
"What potions can be brewed in one?" Estella asked curiously. "I mean, I know some potions may become much too concentrated than intended, right? While others are more effective?"
"That's correct, Estella." Severus inclined his head appreciatively at his niece's conscientiousness, taking the opportunity to recap on the benefits of different cauldron compounds and their effect on brewing.
"So I won't be able to use it everyday in class?" Estella nodded affirmatively, filing the information away.
Severus looked at her regretfully. "As much as I loathe the idea of more suitable equipment going to waste, I am afraid I will have to insist that you…"
"…don't use anything other than the standardised School kits when in your class." Estella finished for him. "It's alright Uncle Sev, I can see how it would unfairly put me at an advantage to the other students."
"You're already at an unfair advantage to the other students." Severus smirked. "But it's not your fault they're not as gifted as you."
"Gifted? Me?" Estella blushed. "Uncle Severus, don't you think you're slightly bias? I think you are. I mean you've never given me anything below an O!"
"I assure you I am not marking you favourably because you are my niece." Severus assured the child. "Your results are entirely warranted." He bottled a full jar of dragon scales and labelled it before looking at her again. "To prevent such suspicions amongst certain people in the school alumni, Dumbledore has been forwarding all of your work to an independent mediator for consultation."
"You mean… you mean you haven't been marking my work yourself" Estella's eyes were wide – part of her had always assumed that her grades were not entirely a credit to her performance. "It was McGonagall, wasn't it?" She added suddenly, her eyes glinting with suspicion. "Who accused you of being too subjective to mark my work fairly?"
Severus looked at his niece sharply and nodded faintly. "I didn't tell you." He said simply, a Slytherin smirk forming on his face.
"You know she gave me heaps more help in class when she didn't know who I was!" Estella snorted. "And yet she accuses you of being bias!"
"Ah, but I am bias." Severus admitted silkily. "It pains me to give her precious Gryffindors anything more than a Acceptable."
"You know, the way you complain that half of your students are all dunderheads, I would have thought that the slightest success would warrant an 'Exceeds Expectations' since you don't expect much of them in the first place." Estella rambled incoherently.
"Yes, I see your point." Severus agreed with his niece willingly. "Though I dare say such encouragement would render them too complacent."
"Alright, so are you ever going to tell me who's been marking my work or are you going to kill me with the suspense?" Estella asked finally after having given her Uncle ample time to offer the information.
"No." Severus smirked at his niece's indignant glare, then turned serious. "I'd never harm you, child."
"Don't change the subject!" Estella stamped her foot.
"Watch that attitude or I may reconsider." Severus said.
"You can't scare me!" Estella challenged.
"I can try." Severus' eye glinted.
"It won't work." Estella assure him. "I've seen worse."
There was an uncomfortable silence as the implications of what she said sunk in.
"Now look who is changing the subject." Severus said awkwardly, inwardly thinking that if she wanted to talk about the events of the past, one of the other men upstairs would be better suited.
"Don't tell me you're actually going to answer me now!" Estella said.
"I will have to confer with him before I reveal his identity." Severus told his niece, mindful of her look disappointment. "Though I will assure you he is a very challenging individual to please."
"No way!" Estella gawked, recognising her Uncle's words as echoing those that he had said to her, as her potions partner twenty years earlier, in reference to Hogwarts then Potions Master. "He's still alive? No offence, but why isn't he teaching?"
"He's an old man now, Estella." Severus informed her carefully, an unreadable expression on his face. "The war… it…"
"Say no more, Uncle Sev." Estella said, her voice shaky as she struggled to reconcile the image of an old man with the vivacious, middle-aged Professor who had taught her in the past. "I don't think I want to know anymore."
Nodding firmly as he took in the sad look on his niece's face, Severus strove to extricate the child's mind away from the past and sought to steer their conversation into clearer waters.
"So, how did you enjoy Christmas lunch?" He asked for lack of better inspiration.
"It was fine, Uncle Sev." Estella replied just as convincingly, her eyes rolling at her Uncle's blatant attempt at misdirection. "Falling a bit out of your game there, are you Uncle Sev?"
"Concentrate on pulverising those nettles." Severus leered at her defensively.
"Oh the irony." Estella said suddenly, lowering her grinder.
"What is it?" Severus asked, looking at her curiously.
"The only time I ever scored anything less than an O from the man," She said, smirking at her Uncle victoriously. "Was when you didn't strain the stewed Hellebore enough and we ended up with bits of it in our Draught of Peace."
"I still maintain that you had a residual amount of the substance on your wand when you stirred the essence in." Severus countered her. "For I myself had never gotten an Exceeds Expectation before that particular assessment."
"You were sitting on a Acceptable average before then I take it?" Estella teased Severus, who gave her a sharp look of offence before returning to his work, his limbs moving jerkily.
"Hey, I didn't mean that you know." Estella assured him worriedly. "I was only messing with you."
Severus ignored her assurances and apologies, his features hardening in contempt. Then, just before his niece totally lost it and got too upset, he smirked, having satisfactorily played her at her own game.
"Touché, Uncle Sev." Estella marvelled at her Uncle. It wasn't very often he exhibited such… such, playful, intentions.
Upstairs, meanwhile, the house's two other occupants were pacing in the kitchen.
"If my presence here is making you uncomfortable, Sirius, I can leave." Remus said sadly.
"What? Why, do you want to leave?" Sirius asked, shocked. "This is your home, Remus."
"Yes, but I'd understand if you wanted to revoke the invitation." Remus said.
"What? Oh…" Sirius paled as he reflected on that morning's events. "Remus… I… just forget it."
"Sirius." Remus cleared his throat. "I can never tell you how much that kid means to me. There's nothing I wouldn't do for her… either of you. Even stay away, if that's what will help you. I can't… I can't imagine the memories you have had to live with all this time."
"I'll get over it, Moony." Sirius smiled weakly. "I did the first time. When I thought she was someone else. I'll get over it again… it will just take time."
"Yes, well, if you need me to keep my distance until then, I will respect that." Remus said.
"Don't be ridiculous, Remus. I'd never keep you from her, never!" Sirius said firmly. "As far as the pair of you are concerned, it never even happened anyway. This is something I have to work through myself."
"Sirius, I would rather die than harm that child. You have to believe that." Remus said, brokenly. "If that night hadn't been undone…"
"Merlin, Remus, I have never doubted that for a moment." Sirius shook his head. "It's just that ever since she's been back every time I close my eyes I think of how close I came to hurting her… it was my fault."
"Maybe you've lived with that memory too long, Sirius." Remus said carefully, after considering the haunted look on his friend's face.
"What do you mean?" Sirius narrowed his eye at his friend.
"You went back in time and prevented it from happening." Remus assured him. "Why make the memory live on in your mind? Merlin Sirius, you think I slept well at night after you told me what had originally happened? It sickens me to think of what could have happened… what, for a few short hours, did happen. I can't fathom what you must be going through, remembering the alternative!"
"But it's something James and I shared." Sirius sighed. "I want to forget, but…"
"…you won't be forgetting James, Sirius." Remus assured him. "If Prongs lived I bet you'd have made a pact to obliviate the moment from each other's memories a long time ago."
"Still, I want to keep the memory." Sirius said softly. "If only to deter me from acting so foolishly again.
"Very well, Sirius." Remus said, a pained look on his face. "But please, don't let it come between us."
"That could never happen." Sirius said firmly. "Let's just concentrate on what's best for Estella, okay? Just ignore her foolish old man. He'll get over it."
"I hope so, Sirius." Remus said softly. "I don't want things to change."
"If things change, it will only be for the better." Sirius vowed, his eyes flitting to the closed basement door. "What is taking them so long?"
"For Merlin's sake, Sirius, just go down there." Remus repeated his sentiment to the stubborn man before him. "She specifically requested I send you down after you woke up."
"But they haven't answered to my knock." Sirius whined. "I don't want to interrupt. I don't want to be seen competing for Estella's attention."
"Sirius, listen to yourself!" Remus sighed at his insecure friend wearily. "How is Estella even going to know you even want to spend time with her if you give her such a wide berth? When she finds out you didn't come down, she's going to think…"
"… I don't know what to do Moony." Sirius said helplessly, a lost look on his face. "I don't want to intrude."
"Sirius, it's your house. You're free to go wherever you want." Remus patted his hand on his friend's shoulder reassuringly. "Besides, Severus has more or less had Estella to himself most of her life. He'd hardly have right to begrudge you this."
"But you heard Estella in the infirmary!" Sirius frowned. "She's not going to be able to…"
"She won't be able to see us either, Padfoot." Remus growled at him. "For Merlin's sake would you stop being so damn stubborn and go! I never thought I'd see the day where you were afraid to be in Severus Snape's company."
"I'm not afraid of him." Sirius growled defensively. "It's… it's… Estella." He admitted quietly. "What if she thinks I am intruding? What if she turns me away?"
"Sirius, she wouldn't do that." Remus' gaze soften as he saw just how tortured his friend was feeling. Sirius clearly felt threatened by the feelings Estella felt towards her Uncle and was unsure where he stood in his daughter's heart. "You're working yourself up for no reason."
"Well if I have no reason, why haven't you gone down there, mmm?" Sirius raised a brow at his friend. "Admit it, you are just as hopeless as me."
"That's not the point, Sirius." Remus shook off his own doubts. "I wasn't the one invited down there."
"How long have you been up?" Estella suddenly appeared in the doorway, her searching eyes falling on their quarry sooner than they had expected. "Remus, I thought I told you to send him down when he woke up."
Animagus and werewolf shared a look, the two men cursing their foolish insecurities when Estella unknowingly set their fears to rest.
Hugging her father briefly, Estella looked up at him contentedly. "I'm sorry." She said, leaning into him. "I wouldn't have left you all alone up here with Psycho DJ here if I had known you were up. We could have done something."
"That's alright, missy." Sirius laughed in relief. He had been so stupid! "You're allowed to spend time with your Uncle, you know."
"I know." Estella smiled. "But I missed you."
"I was only upstairs having a sleep." Sirius explained, sleep still fogging his mind. "If I recall, you were the one who sent me there."
"Yes, but…" Estella sighed and hugged her father again. "Just do me a favour and sleep at night from now on, alright?"
Sirius squeezed his daughter appreciatively and ruffled her hair. "Well I'm all yours now, what do you want to do?"
"I have an idea." Severus Snape suggested as he entered the kitchen carrying a goblet of familiar looking potion.
End Chapter: Christmastime Contemplations