A Showman's Life Chapter 2: A Showman's Life, a lost fanfic

A Showman's Life

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Summary: Two-shot. After the rescue from the now infamous island, DriveShaft hits it big and Charlie is on the road almost 300 days out of the year. The only thing missing is Claire and their kids.

A/n: Originally this story was only going to be a one part, but I decided to add in Charlie's POV on the situation, because it would be good to have. This song fits okay, it isn't the greatest fit, since Charlie was famous before, but never like this.

Charlie's POV

Disclaimer: Lost belongs to ABC… Dom belongs to himself (thankfully) and the song belongs to Gary Allan

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"A Showman's Life"

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"A showman's life,
Is a smoky bar,
And the fevered chase,
Of a tiny star,
It's a hotel room,
And a lonely wife,
From what I've seen,
Of a showman's life…"

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I sat in the hotel room on the phone with Claire. I felt bad because I hadn't called her in a while, but I didn't have the time. Playing to sold out shows all the time. And now we were going to smaller places, because the big venues were just too impersonal. That was Liam's decision. Personally, I could care less.

All I wanted was to go back to Claire, Aaron and Davie. But I couldn't do that. I had a dual dream, and unfortunately, I couldn't do both of them at the same time. Being on the road with a rock band was no way for two little boys to grow up.

But DriveShaft had finally hit it big, and I was going to milk it until it went dry! And Claire understood that. She was so amazing. So great. That was why I loved her. That was why I married her. She knew that this was my dream, but I still loved her and the kids.

(And there was the fact that we were now filthy rich, but Claire doesn't like to talk about that.)

"So you'll be home soon?" Claire asked on the other end of the phone.

I felt my heart tearing into pieces. How could I tell her that it was going to be another four weeks until we finish this leg of the tour and got a one week break before the next leg?

"I don't know honey," I lied over the phone. I could feel her getting upset over the phone, but she tried her hardest not to show that. "I'll be home as soon as I can."

"Okay," she said over the phone. It made me feel worse, but this was the life I had chosen. This was the life I wanted more than anything else. "I love you honey…"

"I love you too, luv," I said with a smile. I knew that Claire couldn't see it, but I wanted her to. "I love you too."

With that, I hung up the phone. I missed Claire so much, it hurt. I missed Davie and Aaron too. Even if Aaron wasn't my real son, I still loved him just as much as Davie.

I fell back on the hotel bed. It wouldn't be long until Patrick and Sinjin came running in with the alcohol and girls on each arm. I would never do that. Liam and I made a pact. We weren't going to get drunk every night, and we'd stay faithful, no matter how hard it was.

I loved Claire, and that was all that mattered.

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"Nobody told me about this part,
They told me all about the pretty girls,
And the wine,
And the money,
And the good times,
There's no mention of,
All the wear and tear,
On an old honky tonker's heart,
Well I might of known it,
But nobody told me about this part,"

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The next thing I knew, Liam was in my room. Patrick and Sinjin no where to be found.

"You okay?" he asked me. I sat up. I must have fallen asleep.

"Yeah, I'm fine," I lied. I wasn't fine. I missed Claire and Davie and Aaron, probably as much as he missed Megan and Karen.

"You liar," he said with a small smile, tackling me onto the bed. Wow, if this wasn't what life was like before the crash. Before Claire and before the kids. Just four guys, having one heck of a good time.

"I'm not lying," I said firmly pushing him off me and sitting up again.

"Don't lie to me baby brother," Liam said just as firmly as he sat up and looked me in the eye. He was my older brother. I couldn't lie to him for that long.

"I miss her man… I miss her…" I finally admitted.

"No really?" he asked with a small smile.

I hit him hard, but it got me to smile. "I love this, everything about it. But I miss her, and Davie and Aaron. I miss them so much. And Sinjin and Patrick aren't helping."

Liam laughed. "I know exactly what you mean. We can cut the tour off early and just go back home, I think we'd both like that."

"Yeah, and Patrick and Sinjin would kill us. Slowly and painfully," I said dejectedly.

"You have a point there… and where are we without lead guitar and drums?"

"Right back where we started," I sighed, falling back onto the bed. "Right back where we started."

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"A boy will dream,
As children do,
Of a great white way,
Until the dream comes true,
And a phony smile,
In a colored light,
Is all there is,
To a showman's life,
Nobody told me about this part,"

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More time passed between the conversation with Liam and another two weeks of shows. I had called Claire twice. I felt so horrible, but I didn't have the time. Whether it was making sure that Patrick and Sinjin didn't get too out of hand, or just having more heart-to-heart conversations with Liam, I was always busy with something.

So there I sat, on the tour bus. We were driving… somewhere. I didn't even know where we were or where we were going anymore. It was all a big blur to me. But it wasn't like I cared, or needed to know. It was Sinjin's job to remember where we were all the time. I just played my bass, sang a little bit… and stood there and looked cute.

It was a good life for the money. We were even working on material for another album. But it was all crap.

I was slowly losing it, slowly going insane. Falling deeper and deeper into this little rut I found myself falling into.

Patrick and Sinjin never really noticed it. They were in it for the party life. Everyone knew it. But Liam noticed. And he was always telling me to just go home, they could do two or three gigs without me. But I wasn't going to let the band down.

I couldn't let the band down.

But at the same time, I couldn't let my family down.

There were only two more weeks. I could handle it.

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But nobody told me about this part,"

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The next thing I knew, Devon (our manager) called a meeting between him and the band and blatantly told us that he added another three weeks of shows to the bill, and that after that we could go home.

Liam fought it. Harder than I did. Devon didn't understand what it was like to leave family at home. But it was no use. We had three more weeks of shows. And we had to do them.

I had to hold everything in not to go and just kill the guy like I had killed Ethan all those years ago. He was hurting Claire, and I wasn't about to let anybody hurt Claire.

As soon as Devon left, I started shouting angrily. Sinjin and Patrick just looked at me like I was a loon and slowly left. Bloody bastards. They didn't care. All they wanted was the booze and the chicks. We all knew it.

But we just got to the point of not caring.

Slowly, I called Claire, trying not to get too upset. As soon as I spoke, I knew that Claire knew that something was wrong.

"What's wrong?" she asked, almost immediately.

"That stupid bastard!" I cursed. I hated him. He got a percentage of the money we made, and I did most of the manager work. He just took the title and the money.

"What's wrong Charlie, I can't help you if you don't tell me what's wrong!" she said soothingly on the other end.

I took a deep breath. I was getting myself all upset over this. And it sucked.

"Devon, the bastard, he added three more weeks onto the tour!" I said angrily. "I'm not going to make it home for Davie's fifth birthday!" I was getting myself all upset over this.

"Just calm down Charlie. I'm sure Devon did it for a good reason. Besides, David's only turning five, I'm sure you'll be around for his sixth birthday."

If only Claire knew how much that statement hurt me. It burned. It hurt. It made me hate myself for being here. Being here and not back home with them. I needed to be with them. It was like a drug. I was addicted, and now I was going through withdrawal. Sure there was the phone, sure there was the internet. But I wasn't there to hug them, and kiss them, and tell them to their faces that everything was going to be okay.

I was a shitty father.

"I'm sorry," I said, not being able to control the bitterness in my voice as I hung up the phone.

Then I did something I never thought I would do. I started to cry. I had never cried about being away form them before. But I had never been away for this long. It was going on six months now. Six months since I had seen their smiling faces. Six months since I had felt them hug me.

Six months too long. I had finally lost it as I broke down on one of the couches.

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It was Liam who found me.

"Charlie, calm down," Liam said slowly, lifting me up by the shoulders.

"How can I? I scheduled the shows so that I could be home for Davie's birthday! Now I can't. This is really important for me! I need to be there for this!" I said, getting more and more upset with every word.

Liam sighed. I really was a mess, wasn't I? "Go home Charlie," he said slowly.

"What? I can't!" I said quickly, just getting myself more upset.

"Yes you can Charlie. Maybe you have noticed it, but I have. You're losing it! You were around Claire for… almost three years 24/7, now she's never around. Just go, we can do it without you!"

I shook my head. No. Liam was talking crazy talk. I met the fans every night. And so many of them walked up still saying how happy they were that I was alive, that I survived, and that I was thinking of them. Some of them even told me that I had been in their prayers. I couldn't let the fans down.

"Charlie," Liam said forcefully, grabbing my shoulders and making me look into his eyes. "I'll take lead, Sinjin'll take bass. We'll just make up some story about you being sick. You need to go home. This is more important than anything else. You got me?"

Slowly, my head nodded. He wasn't going to let me say no, I knew Liam too well. "What… what about you?" I asked, my voice small.

"I'll be fine. At least I've called Karen more than a few times. Are you afraid to call Claire?" he asked.

NO! I wasn't afraid to call Claire. No, there just wasn't enough time. And that was just an excuse I came up with. Maybe… maybe I was afraid. "Afraid that hearing her voice is gonna make things worse, and not better. Charlie, you have to choose which life you want. You can't take both of them. You and Claire, there's something about you two. You're more than perfect and you know it! Besides, the most I've heard you talk is during the show when you're explaining what happened with the crash, and sometimes you even leave Claire out."

"Maybe you can't see it, but just talking about Claire hurts you. Now you are going to get on a plane, and get your ass back to Australia for Davie's fifth birthday, or I am gonna fire you from the band!"

I just sat there, letting everything that Liam had said sink in. How could he read me like a book? I thought that the only person who could do that was… Claire. Slowly, my head nodded once more. I couldn't say no to him because he was talking the truth. Even if I couldn't see it.

"Now come on baby brother… let's get you home…"

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Sinjin and Patrick weren't as angry as I thought they were going to be. They actually had noticed me changing, but didn't want to say anything about it. I could only image why.

I was happy to be going home though. They promised to go along with the sick thing. And I wouldn't be gone for that long, just a little bit. I'd come back. I wouldn't let the guys down like that. I wouldn't let the fans down like that.

But this was more important. Far more important.

I hugged the three of them at the small airport. "Thanks guys, you don't realize how important this is for me…" I smiled and turned to get on the plane.

A small spasm of fear bulleted through me, but passed just as quickly. I wasn't deathly afraid of airplanes as I had been when we had first been rescued. Now it was just getting myself onto the airplane that was the hard part.

I turned one last time and waved goodbye to the three of them, before they turned to leave, and I turned to get back on the plane.

Part of me still couldn't believe that I was actually going home.

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I didn't sleep at all on the whole flight, and that was odd. Normally if I'd get on a plane, I'd fall asleep right away. I guess I was just that excited about going home. About seeing Davie and Aaron and Claire. I missed them soooo much.

Slowly, I worked my way up the walkway. I had missed the whole party, and it looked like Claire had really out done herself. I put the small suitcase down and knocked on the door. I took a deep breath. This was it. I was so excited and happy.

Aaron answered the door. I smiled and picked him up in a big hug.

"Dad?" he asked.

I put him down as I spotted Claire coming into view.

"Sorry I'm late." I smiled.

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"Well I might of known it,
But nobody told me about this part…"

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Fin.

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A/n: I hope you liked it!

The Pirate Illusionist - Haha!

Lost Hobbit - I like your screen name! Haha! I actually had this part written because I wrote them at the exact same time. Besides, Charlie/Claire is the greatest! Actually Summeran is the greatest, then Charlie/Claire… haha

A Teenage Werewolf - Wow… thanks! Although this one ended at the same point as the other one. I wanted it to be a semi-cliffhanger, but still a happy endingish…

Merry2BLost - Love the screen name!

charlieclaire4ever - Thanks!