Hey guys! So sorry I didn't update again yesterday. Technical difficulties. It wouldn't let me log on to my account on and it was just a mess. But I sorted it out and here I am. I would like to say thank you so so much for all the reviews. They were amazing! Special thanks to Sw33t Lavender, who reviewed for every single chapter she missed. You're so great:) I really really appreciate it.
And thanks again to everyone else. I wish I had time to thank all of you personally. Maybe someday I'll get around to it. :)
This chapter is mostly sort of a reflection chapter, you know Nathan and Haley sort of avoiding the aftermath. I promise more naley to come in the next chapters.
Chapter 9:
That night, Haley truly did find her release; not in sleeping with Nathan, but in being with him. Just knowing he was there with her and that he still had feelings for her provided some comfort. She knew it was wrong, as did he, but they couldn't help how they felt toward each other. This was something they'd been waiting 7 years for.
Spend all your time waiting
For that second chance
For the break that will make it okay
They'd been hoping, wishing, praying for a night like this one; for their second chance. It wasn't what they'd had in mind, but secretly, they were glad to be given any kind of chance at all. They knew it would only end up hurting Tim and Michelle and, inevitably, themselves, but as the night wore on, they stopped caring.
They wanted to escape for a night all the pain they'd caused each other, pain they were still causing. It felt like after all they'd been through, they deserved an escape.
There's always some reason
To feel not good enough
And it's hard at the end of the day
They lay in bed long after they finished, just holding each other, both pretending to be asleep, both far from it. It was nights like tonight that they questioned with everything in them why things couldn't just return to the way they were before without it being so complicated. All their problems could just dissolve and everything would be OK again. But after years of preparing themselves for the fact that it would never happen, they knew with certainty that it wasn't that simple.
Perhaps that's why they had chosen to disregard their consciences and spend the night together whilst their respective others sat unaware in rooms on either side of theirs. They needed to forget for a night what they'd put each other through and remember all the reasons they'd been good together; all the reasons they'd been in love.
I need some distraction
Beautiful release, memories seep from my veins
Make me feel empty oh and weightless and maybe
I'll find some peace tonight
Nathan knew he shouldn't be doing this. He should never have kissed Haley, in fact, he should've walked out the door the minute he saw her there. But he couldn't help thinking that maybe this was fate.
Maybe some almighty power above was trying to tell them something. Maybe they were supposed to stop running. Maybe, just maybe, they were meant to work through this and all his prayers, his late nights wishing, had finally been answered.
Whatever this was, it felt oddly comforting, to be back in this same position with her. He'd never stopped loving her and he never would.
In the arms of the angel
Fly away from here
From this dark, cold hotel roomAnd the endlessness that you fear
Thinking Haley was asleep, Nathan kissed her forehead and allowed his body to relax against hers. He didn't know what tomorrow would bring or if he and Haley would ever have any sort of stable relationship again, but he wouldn't let it bother him tonight.
You are pulled from the wreckage
Of your silent reverie
You're in the arms of the angel
May you find some comfort there
Haley felt Nathan's gentle kiss and smiled in the darkness, knowing he couldn't see it. She was almost positive that tomorrow, they would go back to being stiffly formal and reserved toward each other, but for the time being, she just wanted to enjoy their closeness. She knew it probably wouldn't come again for a long time.
She didn't know why he was here. Of course, there was the obvious reason, Tim had invited him a year ago. But she couldn't help thinking that maybe it was fate throwing them one more chance.
For so long now, she'd had nothing but meaningless people passing through her life. She'd had no one stay for very long.
She was so tired of all the lies and all the people who, despite having the best of intentions, could never care for her as deeply as Nathan once had.
So tired of this straight line
And everywhere you turn
There's vultures and thieves at your back
She knew her life wasn't real anymore. Nothing in it was real. Her friends weren't real, much as she cared for him, her boyfriend (Tim) wasn't real; not to her. Things had just ceased to be real the day she and Nathan parted ways.
She hated living this way, hated lying to everyone she'd come to trust. They didn't deserve any of the treachery she brought into their lives, even if they had yet to learn of it. She was unworthy of their love. She told herself time and again that she would stop lying to them, stop pretending they were her world when her world had disappeared long ago. But she could never face them; could never confront them with it. So the lies just kept multiplying.
The storm keeps on twisting
You keep on building the lies
That you make up for all that you lack
Surprisingly, Nathan felt much the same way Haley did. He'd surrounded himself with people who cared about him, yet, try as he might, he could never care for them like he cared for her. He could never love them like he loved her. The way he used to look at her, the way he still did, was never how he looked to them. She was his everything; they were just……. there.
And he tried so hard to forget that every day, but he always remembered. It was a secret he kept that tore him up and he was tired of it trapping him.
It don't make no difference
You escape them one last time
It's easier to believe In this sweet madness oh
This glorious sadness that brings me to my knees
Fingers of light crept through the blinds and across the floor, bathing the room in a still, gray light as morning began to dawn. Glancing at the clock beside his head, Nathan realized it was four in the morning. He sighed, thinking about what they would do when Tim and Michelle woke up, both to find their beds empty.
He held Haley closer to him, hoping the spell would last a little longer, hoping the night wouldn't fade just yet. He wasn't quite ready to give up the release it had given him and, judging by her peaceful slumber, neither was Haley. He still couldn't believe what they'd done, but it had been magical, that much he couldn't deny.
Maybe their escape could last just a couple more hours.
You're in the arms of the angel
Fly away from here
From this dark, cold hotel room
And the endlessness that you fear
Haley was awake also, though she was pretending to be asleep still. She didn't want to wake up and find that Nathan was angry or that he regretted their night together. She didn't know if she could handle it.
Perhaps, she thought, they could just lie here in blissful silence for awhile longer until they were both prepared to face the lives they pretended were real. Perhaps, for a couple more hours, they could continue to escape it all.
You are pulled from the wreckage
Of your silent reverie
You're in the arms of the angel
May you find some comfort there
Nathan and Haley laid in each other's arms for the next few hours, both knowing what lay ahead of them, but neither ready to face it.
They didn't want to give each other up again just yet.
You're in the arms of the angel
May you find some comfort there.
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Again, I know it wasn't exactly exciting to read, but it was mostlya way for us to know what they're both thinking. There will be more action between the two in the next chapter, which, if you review, you will get tonight.