Where did I put my sweatshirt!" I said in frustration. As I walk into my closet I hear footsteps above my head.
Spike:" Em, we need to talk about this. I know you are upset but Em, please just talk to me."
Great she just had to bring it up again. I had finally gotten through an hour without crying, and she had to bring it up again. As I grabbed my sweatshirt and started dragging my chair to my window she came down my stairs.
Spike: "Em, we had to do it. It was the best for all of us."
Emma: "OH so having Jack grow up without a father is best for him! First you had to take me away from my real dad and now your taking my step dad!" I said as a single tear feel down my cheek. I stood up from my bed and ran upstairs. She can't make me stay here.

As soon as I slammed the front door behind me, I didn't know where to go. I started walking down the steps. Every step I took, one more tear crept out of my eyes and down my face. Before I knew it I was at the park walking towards my worse nightmare.

Jay: "Green peace, what's wrong? Did Hatzilakos reject your idea to send money to the environmental club?"
Emma: "Leave me alone Jay."
Jay: (with concern in his voice.)" No Emma, really what happened? I know I'm not exactly your best friend," he said as sympathetic as he could." But I want to help."
Emma (crying more then ever): "Enless you can change the past, you can't help."
Jay grabbed her and held her. She started crying into his chest.
Jay (rubbing her head while he talks): "Em, shhh tell me everything. I want to make you happy."
I looked up at him and I felt safe. Everything else just seemed to disappear. Jay, he's gone. He left.

Jay: "Where's Simspson?" He said as he let me out of his arms. As his grip onmeloosened, I felt the world coming back.
Emma: "He left...he left us. He didn't even say goodbye to me! (more tears coming down my face) All he said was 'I'll see you later Em.' I don't want to go back to Degrassi.
Jay:" Gree-Emma, you can't avoid him. Maybe there was a reason they split up. Maybe they just needed to be apart."
Emma:" yeah I hope so."

(Next Day)
As I walked out of the shower I could tell my mom wanted to talk to me. save it.
"What am I going to wear..." I asked myself as my cell phone rang.
"hello?"
"Hey gree-Emma, its jay."
Emma:" I could kind of tell. What's up?"
Jay:" Well I was wondering if you wanted a ride to school. I mean that way you can like ditch talking to your mom and you don't have to talk to Simpson."
Wow that's really sweet. I always knew Jay had a soft side. I think I'm finally over Sean now.
Emma:" Yeah Jay i would love that. thanks"
Jay:" Alright I'll come get you in like 10 bye" with that he hung up. I always thought that getting over Sean would be hard, but now that Jay is here for me...maybe its not as hard as I thought.

I walked into my closet and grabbed a pair of blue jeans that had rips in them, and a green Hollister shirt that said "Let The Sun Shine" with a rainbow on it. It was nothing fancy, but it was comfortable. On my way upstairs I grabbed my new roxy hoodie.
I waited outside for Jay on the step when my mom came outside.

Spike:" Em, please just let me talk. Archie and I had been fighting for a while and when he got sick we just kind of pushed it off for a while. Now that he is better, we realized that we had to do it. We aren't going to get a divorce, we are just separated." The whole time she was talking to me I wished Jay would show up. When she saw that I had no interest in what she said, she walked back inside. As the door shut a lonely tear feel down my face.

"Emma, what did I tell you about crying!"
Emma:" Um, nothing Jay.." I said thinking back to yesterday.
Jay:" Oh well, don't it makes me sad."
Emma: "haha Jay Hogart sad? I'd love to see that "
Jay:" Well at least it got you to smile, come on this is the one time I don't want to be late. And besides my friend needs to talk to her step-dad."
the smile was wiped from my face.
Emma:" 1. Is that what you call people you give an STD to? friends? and 2. I'm not going to talk to him. There is no way, and you can't make me." Little did I know, he could make me.

Jay: "Your going to talk to him" He said as he pushed me into the MI room and closed the door. He was holding the handle from the outside so I couldn't open the door.

Archie:" Em..." he said taking very slow cautious steps." I know that I'm not exactly your favorite person right now but.." "You cheated on her! While she was busy with Jack! And then you just walked out! How could you do this!" I said interrupting his sentence.

I guess Jay had heard me yelling at him and let go of the door. I ran right out of the room crying. The first place I thought I could run to was the girls bathroom.

Jay:" Emma, where are you?" he said as his footsteps grew nearer and nearer to the stall I was hiding in.
Emma: "Jay your not supposed to be in here, its the GIRLS room. Girl being the key word." I guess he could tell I had been crying because he held me close again. And once again everything around me disappeared.

Jay:" Emma, even though Alex will think otherwise, I will always be your friend. If you need a place to run to, you can always come to my place. You can stay there as long as you need." Alex? He's still with Alex! I couldn't believe it. He was so kind and thoughtful to me, I thought he liked me.
Emma: "Thanks, um you better leave before you get in trouble for being in here."

Once Jay left the room I felt horrible. I needed something. I needed to do something. I needed to tell someone. Jay I love you

I didn't know what to do. Should I tell Jay or keep it to myself? Should I let Mr. Simpson talk and try to explain things? Or should I keep ignoring him? Should I finally take Jess up on her offer? Or should I take Sammy's advice?

All I know is I need to talk to Jess...

Emma: "Jess, do you remember what you told me about? And how you would just get me anything I wanted, no questions asked?"
Jess:" Oh...so you want them now." she said with a sly look on her face. "After you told me that they are bad for you and that I should flush them down the toilet before I get busted?"
Emma:" Jess, just give them to me!" Jess finally gave up. She handed me a glasses case that was filled with and .
Jess:" Don't go all Ellie or Amy on me now."

(this is Wednesday, it all started on Monday)

Inside were about 15 vicoden pills and some exacto knives. I looked at my new treasure, thanked Jess, and walked away still looking at my stash.

As I was walking by my locker, Jay grabbed my arm. I quickly closed the case and stuffed it in my bag.
Jay:" I didn't know you wore glasses."
Emma:" Yeah, well I look like an idiot in them." I said lying. It hurt to lie to him. I wanted to tell him exactly what was in the case and what I was going to use them for.
Jay:" Em, do you want to come to the Dot with Alex and I later?" I really wanted to go, but I had to get rid of my stash before someone finds them
Emma: "I have to go home and talk to my mom. I'm finally ready." Another lie. Why did I have to lie to him? I loved him.

It was after lunch and I grabbed my bag. This was it I had to do it now. As I walked down the hallway, I could feel eyes watching me. As I turned the corner, Rick's image appered. I started to re-live the scene. This it the first time I have walked by here. I soon felt my eyes starting to water so I ran to the bathroom. I had to do it...now.

I pulled out the treasure and took the knife. I held it to my arm as Sammy walked in.
Sammy:" Eww look at my hair. Em... No Em, you can't! Em please no don't!" she said as she walked toward me. "I will tell Jay. Don't do it Em, don't make me get Jay!"
Emma:" Get him I don't care!"
Sammy: "I'm leaving!" she started walking backwards to the door watching my hands and exactly what they were doing.
Emma: "Fine, go!" She turned and ran out of the bathroom.
I only have a few minutes before she comes back. I filled a small paper cup with water and had the pills in my other hand. I looked at myself in the mirror. Is this really what I want to do? Just as I was moving my hand toward my mouth, I heard the keys in Jay's pocket jingle. I knew he was running toward me. I quickly put them in my mouth right as he came in.
He ran over to me and stuck his fingers in my mouth.

Jay: "EMMA! How could you do this! This is so stupid! YOU WOULD HAVE DIED!" he said when he was searching my mouth. Once he found all of them he dropped them in the toilet and flushed.

Emma: "Jay..." I said with my head hung low. "Thanks."
Jay turned to look at me. We had been sitting in the park for about 3 hours. We left school right after the incident. No one had said a word, until now.
Jay: "Emma, I just couldn't let you do that." he grabbed my hand and wrapped his fingers around mine. I laid my head upon his shoulder, and once again everything disappeared. I smiled a small smile, trying to hide it from Jay.
Jay: "What got you so happy?" he said looking down, our fingers still locked. Was this it? Should I tell him how I feel? "Emma, look. Since Monday, I couldn't stop thinking about you. So I told Alex." a frown and angry look swept across my face." I didn't tell her about your parents, I told her about you." my frown diapered and was replaced with confusion." Emma I really like you. I wouldn't have stopped you if I didn't."
Emma: "Jay...I love you." I whispered so softly I barley even heard it.
Jay:" What? Emma listen, I broke up with Alex so I could be here and help you. My parents got a divorce a long time ago. I want to help you through this, even if I have to spend every waking moment with you." Jay, you are sooo sweet, and sooo mine.