FRIDAY, 8 SEPTEMBER
1405 ZULU
JAG HEADQUARTERS
FALLS CHURCH, VIRGINIA

"Colonel, do you have a few minutes?" Carolyn asked, standing in Mac's open doorway.

Mac looked up from the report she was only pretending to read and motioned Carolyn into her office. "Take a seat, Commander."

Carolyn looked at her friend as Mac tossed the report to the side. Mac avoided looking at Carolyn, instead turning in her chair slightly to look out the window. After a long moment, Carolyn finally said, "I thought I'd stop by and see how you're doing, see if you wanted some company while you wait ..."

"Harm's on the stand now," Mac softly interrupted. It wasn't a question.

Carolyn nodded, then spoke when it occurred to her that Mac still wasn't looking at her. "He was called to the stand when I stepped down," she said.

"And then I'm next," Mac said as she finally turned back to face Carolyn. Carolyn could see the tears threatening to spill from Mac's eyes. "It's funny, isn't it? It's been a month as of yesterday. So why is it just now hitting me so hard?"

"I don't know," Carolyn replied. "Maybe there was just so much happening then that we didn't have time to think about it. Now we have to talk about it and maybe it's just ... I don't know. When it happened and Harm turned you over and we realized that you had been shot, it was like we were all on autopilot. Maybe we've been like that ever since. But stress has to relieve itself and maybe the trial is giving us the opportunity ..." Carolyn trailed off when she realized that instead of crying, Mac was laughing.

Mac felt Carolyn's eyes on her and turned towards her to explain, "I'm sorry. It's just that Harm once said that very same thing to me."

Carolyn sensed there was a story behind that and asked, "Do you want to talk about it?" Maybe it would help Mac to think about something else, even if only for a few minutes.

"What? The trial or when Harm said that to me?" she asked.

"When Harm said that to you," Carolyn clarified. "Knowing you two, there's a very interesting story behind that statement."

"I don't know if I'd call it interesting," Mac said. "Terrifying is more like it."

Instantly, Carolyn regretted pressing the issue. "Look, I'm sorry I brought it up," she apologized. "If you don't want to talk about it ..."

"No, it's okay," Mac reassured her. "It was years ago, not long after we met, and I've long since dealt with what happened. Harm talked me into taking a day's leave so that he could take me up in his plane. I was having so much fun, then we developed mechanical problems and had to make an emergency landing in the Appalachian mountains. From the air, we had seen a cabin a few miles from where we had landed, so we decided to hike to it and see if they had a phone we could use to call for help." Mac paused, remembering that day so clearly. That was also the day that she admitted to herself that she had fallen for her partner.

"Doesn't sound too bad so far," Carolyn commented.

"Unfortunately," Mac continued, "the cabin was inhabited by poachers who had just killed a game warden. What we realized later is that when we arrived at the cabin they were burying the game warden out back of the cabin. Harm asked too many questions and one of the men started shooting at us. We managed to hold them off for a few minutes, but while Harm was swiping a fuel line from the game warden's truck so that he could fix the plane, one of the poachers got off a lucky shot and I got hit in the leg."

"I've never heard this story," Carolyn said, surprised. "I mean, the other day you said something had happened the first time Harm took you flying, but I didn't think to ask more. Now I understand why you wanted weapons on your next flight."

"Like I said, it was just a few months after we met," Mac said. "You were still overseas at the time. Anyway, we managed to escape with Harm practically dragging me along. But they were tracking us and when Harm left me for a few minutes to misdirect them, one of them found me." Mac fell silent and Carolyn could just imagine what had happened when the man had found her.

After a long moment, Mac continued, "Before he could ... um, he had a knife and I managed to ... I stabbed him with his own knife."

"Look, Mac, you don't have to talk about this," Carolyn said. "I'm sorry I brought it up. I just came in here because I thought you might want some company while you were waiting to take the stand."

"It's okay, really," Mac said, holding her hand up when Carolyn opened her mouth to protest. "It does help to think about something else, even this. Anyway, later that evening, after we had found shelter for the night, I ... well, I pretty much freaked for a few minutes over what had happened. I still had his blood on me and the sight of it got to me. Harm just sat there and let it run its course. Then he reassured me that what I was feeling was natural. That's when he made that comment about stress relieving itself."

"He really is something, isn't he?" Carolyn mused, smiling.

Mac smiled as she replied softly, "Yeah, he is. So, we made it back to the plane the next day. Harm fixed it and we took off. My leg had gotten infected, so I had to spend a few days in the hospital. He spent most of his time at my bedside. I recovered and life went on as before."

"You know, you two never cease to amaze me," Carolyn commented, shaking her head. "After all that, it still took you another three and a half years to admit your feelings for each other."

Mac laughed at that. It wasn't the first time she had heard something along those lines from one of her friends. Hell, she had thought the same thing many times herself. "What can I say?" she replied, still laughing. "For two very intelligent people, we could be pretty dumb about the things that really mattered. I once told Harm that all I really wanted in life was a great career, a good man and lots of comfortable shoes."

"I don't know about the comfortable shoes," Carolyn said with a smile, "but I'd say you've got the first two covered."

"Ask me again about the shoes after the babies are born," Mac said. "Right now, walking around in my bare feet is uncomfortable."

"So what is it like, being pregnant?" Carolyn asked wistfully, a faraway expression in her eyes. "Remember that lunch we had with Harriet, right before AJ was born? Ever since that day, I've wondered what it would be like to have a baby."

"At least you didn't want a baby so much that you made a deal with your best friend to have one together in five years if neither of you was involved in a relationship," Mac pointed out. She laughed at the wide-eyed expression of shock on Carolyn's face.

"You and Harm ..." Carolyn began. "You won't admit you're in love with each other, but you'll agree to have a baby together! I can't believe you two. And a few months later, you're accepting a ring from another man. If I were you, I would have made it a point to stay single for the next five years."

"Believe me, that thought had crossed my mind," Mac admitted, "but then he returned to flying and nothing was the same after he returned. Then Australia happened and ..." Mac trailed off, staring off into the distance as she remembered the pain of one particular night. Slowly, she continued, "I opened up to Harm about what I was feeling for him and let's just say that I couldn't have picked a worse time. Harm had been back for months but he was still trying to find his way. He wasn't ready to be in a relationship – well, a serious one, anyway. I didn't understand that at the time, even when he told me so."

"So that's why you accepted Commander Brumby's ring," Carolyn concluded. "You thought Harm had rejected you and when someone else offered you everything you wanted ..."

"Yeah," Mac replied sadly. "I'm not even sure why I'm telling you all this. A lot of this I've never told another soul except Harm, although I think Harm told my uncle about what happened in Australia when he asked Uncle Matt for permission to marry me."

"He asked for permission to marry you?" Carolyn mused. "Too bad he doesn't have a brother. Anyway, I'm glad you feel comfortable enough to share this with me. I know we didn't meet under the best circumstances, especially since I wasn't doing the best job of defending Harm against murder charges at the time."

"Water under the bridge," Mac assured her. "I've always been so focused on my career since I joined the Corps, trying to make up for past mistakes, that I've never really allowed myself the chance to make many friends until someone whom I'd just met put himself, his career, and even his life on the line for me and my uncle."

"I guess I don't have to ask who that is," Carolyn said.

"No, I guess you don't," Mac said with a wide smile. "You know, he can be so infuriating sometimes. He can be so smug and arrogant and egotistical that I sometimes just want to throttle him. But under all that, he is the kindest, most compassionate, most considerate man I've ever met. He's the best friend I've ever had. I think becoming friends with him has allowed me to open myself up. I think I've made more friends since I've been here at JAG headquarters than I've had in my entire life and I'm glad to count you among them, especially since you have managed to distract me from what's going on in that courtroom across the hall."

"Thank you, Mac and I'm glad I could help," Carolyn told her. She noticed that Mac was no longer paying attention to her, staring instead at the doorway. Carolyn turned to find Harm standing there.

"It's time?" Mac asked quietly.

Harm nodded slowly in response. "Court's in recess for five minutes, then you're up."

"Well, here goes nothing," Mac muttered as she slowly rose to leave. As she passed by him in the doorway, Harm reached out to take her hand.

"It will be okay, Sarah," he said softly as he turned with her to walk towards the courtroom, Carolyn standing up to walk behind them.

"I'll be fine," Mac assured him. She turned her head to look at Carolyn. "You're coming to the courtroom?"

"Remember what we were just talking about?" Carolyn asked. "That's what friends do. Anyway, I didn't think I'd get much work done today, so I stayed late last night to stay caught up. I don't think the Admiral will have a problem with it."

"Thank you," Mac said, smiling at her. As they entered the courtroom, Mac was a bit surprised to find quite a few of the people who had been in the hallway on the day of the shooting, including Alan and Captain Sebring. Sitting next to Sebring were Admiral Chegwidden and Gunny, both of whom smiled at Mac in encouragement as she, Harm, and Carolyn slid into the bench in front of them, Mac on the end so that she could get up to take the stand.

As soon as she had sat down, the judge – Admiral Lefner, who had been brought in from outside the Washington area specifically for this trial - entered the courtroom and everyone stood. As everyone took their seats again, Allison remained standing and said, "Your Honor, the prosecution calls Lieutenant Colonel Sarah Mackenzie to the stand."

Mac stood and looked down at Harm for a moment before she walked up to stand in front of the bench. Allison came over to stand in front of her.

"Raise your right hand," Allison said. "Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth?"

"I do," Mac replied. She took the stand, taking a deep breath as she waited for Allison to begin.

"Please state your name and billet for the record," Allison said.

I can do this, Mac told herself. She kept repeating it to herself in her mind as she said automatically, "Lieutenant Colonel Sarah Mackenzie. I'm Chief of Staff here at JAG headquarters."

"Colonel, at the beginning of August," Allison began, standing in front of the witness stand, "you and your partner, Commander Rabb, were prosecuting a murder case. Can you tell us about that?"

"Marine Sergeant Johns was on trial for allegedly beating someone to death at a bar while off duty," Mac replied, her voice sure and steady. "Commander Rabb and I were prosecuting, Commanders Imes and Mattoni were defending."

"Was there any talk of a plea bargain in the case, Colonel?" Allison asked.

"While I was in Quantico on an investigation the week before the trail began," Mac continued, "Harm – Commander Rabb and I spoke on the phone Thursday night. We decided that he would present an offer of manslaughter with fifteen years in Leavenworth to the defense."

"And was the plea bargain accepted by the defense?"

"No," Mac answered. "Commander Imes approached me the following Monday morning. She said that Sergeant Johns wanted to take his chances with a trial."

"When did the trial begin?" Allison asked.

Mac took a deep breath before replying, "It began that morning, 7 August."

"What happened in court that morning?"

"We called a total of six witnesses that morning," Mac said, forcing herself not to fidget as they got closer to the account of the actual shooting, "the owner of the bar and five people who had been in the bar that night. They all testified to what they had seen the night of the beating."

"And what was that, Colonel?" Allison asked.

The defense attorney spoke for the first time since Mac had taken the stand. "Objection, your honor. Hearsay."

Mac was surprised. The same questions, she imagined, would have been asked when Harm, Alan and Carolyn were on the stand. Surely the defense attorney hadn't objected all four times.

"Sir, the transcript from Sergeant Johns' first trial has been entered into evidence," Allison reminded the judge. "It also goes to pattern of behavior."

"Overruled," Lefner ruled, throwing the defense attorney a stern look.

Mac didn't wait for Allison to repeat the question before she answered, "They all testified essentially the same. The defendant had been upset over not being on the latest promotion list, he had a few drinks and picked a fight, during which the victim was beaten to death."

"Were there any discussions about the case after court recessed for lunch?" Allison asked.

"I suggested that maybe Commanders Imes and Mattoni might want to approach their client again about a plea bargain, given that morning's testimony," Mac said.

"Did the Commanders approach Sergeant Johns about the plea agreement?"

"They never had the chance," Mac said, taking another deep breath, needing something to calm her nerves. "Right after that, two Marine guards were escorting Sergeant Johns to lunch when the defendant made a comment about the prosecution playing 'Let's Make A Deal'."

"What else did Sergeant Johns say?"

"He made a comment about Commanders Imes and Mattoni being his defense attorneys, so he expected them to defend him," Mac recounted. "Then he said something about being dismissed after Commander Mattoni had suggested to the guards that they get Johns out of there and he took a step towards us – Commanders Rabb, Imes, Mattoni and myself. At this point, Judge Sebring walked up and ordered the guards to get Sergeant Johns out of there."

"Take you time, Colonel," Allison said, walking over to stand in front of the jury, "and tell us what happened next."

Mac looked out over the courtroom and found Harm's eyes on her. He smiled at her in encouragement. Taking a deep breath, she continued her account, "Sergeant Johns pushed one of the guards aside and grabbed his weapon. I didn't really see what happened next. Commander Rabb pushed me to the floor." Mac paused a moment to collect herself, then added, "I didn't even realize that I had been shot until after it was all over."

"Please continue," Allison encouraged.

"After the shooting stopped," Mac said, a slight catch in her voice, "I realized that I was having trouble breathing. Harm rolled me over and I don't remember much after that. I was kind of drifting in and out of it. I recall telling him that I was having trouble breathing. I think Commander Mattoni gave Harm his uniform blouse to press against the wound. I don't remember much after that until I woke up that evening at Bethesda."

"Can you describe your injuries for the court?"

"The bullet entered, um, just above my right breast," Mac said, her voice faltering slightly. "It collapsed my right lung and broke one of my ribs. In the emergency room, they put in a chest tube and I was on a ventilator for two days."

"How long were you in the hospital, Colonel?"

"Seven days," Mac answered. "I was released the following Monday."

"Your lung wasn't your only medical concern, was is, Colonel?" Allison asked. "You're obviously pregnant. How far along are you?"

"Four months."

"So you would have been three months pregnant at the time of the shooting, correct?"

"That is correct," Mac said, her voice shaking. She glanced at Harm again, who nodded his encouragement. "I was kept hooked up to a fetal heart monitor for two days and I had an ultrasound that Wednesday to make sure there were no obvious problems. Also, to make sure there were no adverse affects from the various medications I was given and from the anesthesia I was given during surgery, I had an amniocentesis two weeks after the shooting."

"And were there any problems with the pregnancy?" Allison asked.

"Fortunately, no," Mac replied, clasping her hands over her belly. "Dr. Calder, my obstetrician, said that everything is going very well, considering everything that has happened."

"Thank you, Colonel. I know this has been difficult for you," Allison said. She turned to address the judge. "I have nothing further."

Mac took a few deep breaths as she waited for the defense attorney, Daniel Bowers, to begin. She was a little surprised at Allison' last comments; Mac thought she actually sounded sincere. She supposed it would play well for the jury, the prosecutor who showed concern for the victims. She looked at the defense attorney as he stood and walked towards her.

"Good morning, Colonel Mackenzie," Bowers greeted her cordially. "I don't have many questions for you, so I'll try to make this as quick as possible. Tell me, Colonel, if your case was as strong as you indicate, why were you trying to push a plea bargain?"

"To save the victim's family the pain of going through a trial," Mac replied firmly, more settled now that talk had moved away from personal matters such as her injury and pregnancy. "Also, the Navy would be spared the expense of a trial and Sergeant Johns would still go away to prison for a long time."

"Colonel, I believe that you're actually pregnant with twins. Such a pregnancy would normally be considered high-risk, would it not?"

"Objection, Your Honor," Allison cut in. "Relevance?"

"Your Honor, the prosecution opened itself up for this line of questioning by suggesting that there was concern about the pregnancy because of the shooting. I think I should be able to show that those concerns existed prior to incident of August 7th," Bowers argued.

"Overruled," Lefner ruled. "But I would wrap up this line of questioning as quickly as possible, Mr. Bowers."

"Understood, Your Honor," he replied as he turned back to face Mac. "Your pregnancy would normally be considered high-risk, correct?"

"Yes, it would," Mac answered, a bit angry as she realized where he was going with that line of questioning. "But I wasn't even aware that I was carrying twins until I had the ultrasound two days after the shooting."

Bowers paused for a split second, surprised. He hadn't been aware of that last part. But he decided to persist in this line of questioning just a little bit longer. "But the fetal heart monitor, the ultrasound, the amniocentesis – all of these would probably have been used in any event to detect problems in a twin pregnancy."

"I wouldn't really know," Mac answered firmly. "This is my first pregnancy. I'm new to all this."

"But it is possible that many of the concerns about your pregnancy would have existed whether you had been shot or not?" Bowers persisted.

"Objection, Your Honor," Allison called out. "Witness is being asked to state a medical opinion which she is not qualified to give."

"Sustained," Lefner ruled.

Bowers, satisfied that he had at least made his point, returned to the defense table. "I have nothing further," he said.

Allison stood again and said, "Your honor, I have just a few questions on redirect." When the judge nodded at her to proceed, Allison walked over to the witness stand and asked, "Colonel, had you discussed any type of special diagnostic tests, such as amniocentesis, with your doctor prior to the shooting?"

"I had asked about it at my first appointment," Mac replied. "I was curious since, as I said before, this is my first pregnancy. She said that unless there was something in either Harm's or my genetic history that would be cause for concern or I was over the age of thirty-five, an amniocentesis wouldn't even be considered."

"And do any of these situations exist in your case?" Allison continued.

"No. I just turned thirty-two in July and as far as we know, there is nothing genetic in either of our backgrounds that could possibly be passed on to our children," Mac said.

"Did your doctor give a reason for going ahead with an amniocentesis given these circumstances?"

Mac answered, "As I said earlier, I was told that it was because of the various medications and the anesthesia I was given while I was hospitalized. Even though they were approved as safe for use on pregnant woman, I was told there was still a concern that the medications could cause problems, especially at that point in the pregnancy."

"Thank you, Colonel," Allison told her. She turned to the judge and added, "The prosecution rests, Your Honor."

"Very well," Lefner said. "Court will recess for lunch until 1300 hours, when the defense will call its first witness." He banged his gavel and everyone rose until the judge had left the courtroom.

As Mac stepped down from the stand, Allison and Jon approached her. "You did a good job up there, Colonel," Allison complimented her as Mac managed to keep the surprise from her expression. "We've got a strong case and Mr. Bowers realizes that."

"He did sound like he was grasping a bit in some of his questions," Mac suggested as Harm joined them, putting a hand on her back in comfort and support.

"His client shot six people in a crowded hallway of witnesses," Jon pointed out. "He never had much of a case to begin with. It's only his client's insistence that this go to trial that brings us all here."

"As I recall," Mac reminded them, "that's what got all this started at the first trial."

"Unfortunately true," Allison agreed as AJ joined them. "That's why the sergeant is in chains this time."

"Commander Krennick, Major Williams, good job," AJ told them. He turned to Mac and asked, "How are you doing, Colonel?"

"I'm just glad that's over," Mac replied. "I'm ready to put all of this behind us."

"We all are," Harm agreed quietly.

"By the way, Commander Rabb," AJ said, "I've approved your request for leave the beginning of next week. I'll see you back here on Wednesday."

Mac looked up at Harm in surprise. "Planning to do something?" she asked.

"When the Admiral said 'your request for leave', he was talking about both of us," he told her.

"I don't remember putting in a request for leave," she pointed out.

"We're going out of town after the dress fitting Saturday morning," Harm said. "And before you ask, the 'where' is a surprise. You ready to go to lunch?"

"Definitely," Mac replied, determined to discuss it further with Harm at lunch. They left the courtroom, leaving AJ, Allison and Jon standing there.

"Commander," Jon addressed Allison, "if you don't need me for anything right now, I'll go get some lunch also."

"Go ahead, Major," she replied. "I'll be going to lunch myself in a few minutes."

Jon left and Allison was left alone with AJ. "The case is going well," AJ told her. "This has been a particularly hard one for this office and I appreciate how quickly this case is being handled."

"Thank you, Admiral," Allison replied as she put papers and files into her briefcase. "I was happy to come out here and take on this case. It's been a pleasure working for you again."

"You're one of the best prosecutors I've got, Allison," he said. "I wanted the best on this case."

"Well, I appreciate it," she said. "As much as I enjoy my job out at Pearl, I do miss this place sometimes."

"I see," AJ said, folding his arms across his chest. "I do have some news for you. As I'm sure you're aware, the promotion list for Captain will be out next week."

"I'm on it," Allison stated.

"Confident, aren't we, Commander?" he asked.

"Yes, Sir."

"Hmmm," he murmured. "Well, as I'm sure you are also aware, Captain Johnston is planning to retire next month."

"Yes, Sir," she replied. The retirement of her CO was old news to her as he had exhibited a bit of a short timer's attitude in recent weeks. In fact, she had been hoping that her expected promotion would give her a leg up on being named to replace Johnston.

"Allison, it's no secret that I've always thought highly of the work you've done for JAG, here at headquarters, before that in Italy and now at Pearl," AJ complimented her. "So I've put in a request with the Bureau of Personnel that you be assigned to replace Captain Johnston."

"I appreciate the vote of confidence, Admiral," she said, containing her enthusiasm.

"Do you have anyone in mind to take your place as XO?" AJ asked. He had a few candidates in mind, but he was curious to find out what she thought.

"I actually did have one person in mind, but I don't suppose this person would be available," she began. "I think the administrative experience would be good for him, especially if he has any ambitions to eventually be the JAG."

AJ knew who she was talking about, but he wanted her to confirm it. "And who would that be, Commander?"

Allison noted that he had suddenly switched to calling her by her rank and wondered at the change. "Commander Rabb, of course," she replied. "He's one of the best litigators that I've seen, but he hasn't had much experience on the administrative side of JAG, experience that he would need if he eventually wants to be the JAG."

"That is true," AJ admitted. Allison never ceased to amaze him. He knew that her reasons for wanting Harm transferred to Pearl were less than professional, but she managed to make her reasons sound professional and logical. "But on the other hand, Commander Rabb will be starting a new position as military liaison on the Hill in a few weeks and that experience will also be helpful for his future. Unfortunately, dealing with politicos is a part of being the JAG and I think the Commander will be well served by his time on the Hill. Also, you do not have two O-5 level positions available. Even if you did, I would hate to lose both of my best attorneys, especially at the same time."

"As I said, I didn't think he would be available," Allison reminded him. She could be a realist when she had to be. "I have been looking at a few other candidates and I would appreciate the chance to discuss it further with you. Perhaps we could sit down after the trial is over and before I return to Pearl."

"We'll have to see if there is time when the trial is over," AJ said noncommittally. "After all, you are probably missed at Pearl."

-----

"So what is this about getting out of town for a few days?" Mac asked. She and Harm had grabbed some lunch from the cafeteria and had taken it outside to one of the table. Mac had chosen a table away from the entrance to the building, where most people sat, so that she and Harm could have a few moments alone.

"With everything going on right now, I thought we could use the break," Harm replied, "so I made arrangements for us to get away for a few days."

"Without discussing it with me?" she continued.

"Is that a problem?" he asked, a bit puzzled. "I thought it would be nice to do something for you."

"It is, it's just ..." she began, pausing to collect her thoughts. It was very sweet of him, so she didn't want this to degenerate into an argument. "I just think you should have discussed it with me before you went to the Admiral and asked for time off for both of us. Anyway, is this really the right time to take a few days off given that we will be taking two weeks off in the near future for our honeymoon?"

"The Admiral doesn't seem to have a problem with it," he pointed out. "In fact, when I first brought up the subject, he seemed to think it was a pretty good idea. Anyway, I wanted to surprise you with this. Is that so bad?"

Mac sighed, taking a sip of her water while she gathered her thoughts. "No, I think it's wonderful that you wanted to surprise me," she finally said. "And it still is a surprise to a degree, since you won't tell me where we are going. But this is supposed to be a partnership and I still think you should have run the idea past me before going to the Admiral. How do you know that I didn't already have plans for this weekend?"

"Plans that you hadn't run by me yet?" Harm questioned, raising his eyebrow at her.

"Touché," she admitted, smiling. "Now, I know you don't like to be reminded of Australia, but remember Manly Beach, when I told Mic not to assume?"

"Okay, point taken," he said, "and I'm sorry. Look, if you really want, I can cancel the reservations and tell the Admiral that we will be in on Monday."

"No," Mac said, shaking her head. "You went through all this trouble, so we might as well go. I'm sure that we'll have a wonderful time alone together for a few days. We haven't really had that since we've been together. Now, is there anything that you will tell me about this mysterious trip you've planned?"

"Well, consider it a mini-honeymoon of sorts," he replied, relieved that she didn't seem to be angry at him.

"Which doesn't tell me a lot since you won't tell me where we're going for our honeymoon either," she pointed out with a laugh. "You're just full of surprises, aren't you?"

Harm was quiet for a moment, staring down at the salad in front of him. "I don't know," he said quietly, finally looking up, but focusing on a point just over her shoulder, refusing to look her in the eye. "Maybe I feel that I have a lot to make up for."

Mac cupped his chin and turned his head so that he had to look at her. She smiled, trying to lighten the mood. "Hey, if I'm no longer beating you up over Australia," she teased, "why should you still beat yourself up? I thought we had put that behind us."

"Yes – I guess, maybe," he replied softly, realizing that he wasn't making much sense. "Maybe it will be a while before I can forgive myself for letting my stupidity and my inability to communicate nearly cost me the most important person in my life."

"I never realized that you still felt like that," she said, reaching across the table to cover his hand with hers.

"It's not the easiest thing in the world to talk about," he admitted, taking her hand in his. "I'm not very good at talking about my feelings." He gave her a smile as he added, "I would have thought you would have figured that out after Australia."

"Do you want to try and talk about it?" she asked. She noticed the brief flash of hesitation in his eyes and rushed to assure him, "I don't mean now. This is hardly the appropriate venue for this discussion. But maybe we can take some time this weekend. I don't want the specter of Australia to still be hanging over us as we begin our married life."

"I don't know," he said reluctantly. "I'll try. I know that's probably not what you want to hear, but I think that's the best I can do."

Mac nodded slowly. She didn't want to push him too far. "I can accept that," she replied softly.

-----

SATURDAY, 9 SEPTEMBER
2105 ZULU
THE GARDEN AND THE SEA INN
NEW CHURCH, VIRGINIA

"Okay, so tell me again why we had to drive through DC, Maryland, Delaware, then Maryland again only to end up back in Virginia, which is where we started out?" Mac teased as they got out of the SUV in front of the two-centuries-old inn. She knew they were somewhere in the Eastern Shore region, but she wasn't that familiar with this part of the state. But seeing the outside of the inn Harm had chosen for their getaway, she was liking this idea more and more. If he chose this romantic little inn for a 'mini honeymoon', she couldn't wait to see what he had in mind for the real thing.

"Because it takes about an hour less going that way than it would have going down to Norfolk then across the Chesapeake on the Bay Bridge Tunnel to the Eastern Shore," Harm told her as he got their bags out of the back of the car. "I didn't think you'd want to be stuck in the car any longer than necessary.."

"I appreciate that," Mac said with a smile, "especially since I made you stop twice on the trip as it is. Long car rides are hard on the pregnant body."

Harm looked at her with concern as he closed the rear door of the SUV and slung their bag over his shoulder. "Are you okay?" he asked. "I didn't even think about that when I planned ..."

"Harm, I'm fine," Mac tried to reassure him. "Stopping and getting out of the car those times helped and right now a bed will be an even bigger help. My back can use the break."

"I think I can help out with the back problem. How does a massage sound?"

"Sounds heavenly," she replied, stifling a yawn.

"Sounds like a nap would go over just as well," he commented with a smile as he wrapped an arm around her and pulled her close.

"Probably would," she admitted with a sigh.

"The next few days are about relaxing and getting away from it all," he told her as they entered the inn. "If that means you spend most of the next few days lying around getting plenty of sleep, well then ..."

"Now," she interrupted with a laugh, "I hope we didn't just drive three and a half hours and spend the money to rent a room at this bed and breakfast just so we could spend all our time in bed ... well, what I mean is ..."

"You have an objection to spending a few days in bed together?" he asked her softly, his breath warm against her ear as they walked across the lobby.

"Very funny," she retorted just as softly. "You know what I mean. If it was just a matter of taking a few days off, we could have done that at home."

"Which would defeat the purpose of getting away from it all," he pointed out. "Remember, this something of a mini honeymoon before the wedding."

They reached the front desk and Harm said to the clerk, "We have a reservation, last name Rabb."

"Here it is," the clerk said, pulling the reservation sheet from a file. "You have the Chablis suite for three nights."

"Ooh, sounds fancy," Mac commented as Harm handed his credit card to the clerk.

"It's our best suite," the clerk told her as she processed the credit card. "Checkout is Tuesday at noon. We have a restaurant, but we do require reservations since it is very popular with the general public. In your room, you'll find a packet with information on the local attractions. Do you want the phone in your room turned on?"

"No," Harm answered. "If anyone needs to reach us, I gave our CO – sorry, our boss - the main number here so he can leave a message for us. Other than that, if we need to make a call, we have a calling card or can use a payphone."

"Okay," the clerk said, placing a paper on the counter in front of him. "If you'll just sign here, you'll be good to go."

Harm signed his name to the registration form and handed it back to the clerk. She handed him their room key and said, "Your room is in the other building. If you go out the side door over there and follow the foot path, it will take you to your building. Right in front of you when you reach the building will a door. This door is the private entrance to your suite and you'll need your key to unlock it. Then you'll have to climb a staircase to the suite. If you need anything, just dial 100 to reach the front desk."

"Thank you, Ma'am," Harm replied.

-----

"Wow," Mac exclaimed as they entered the suite. "You really know how to show a girl a good time. This is beautiful." The suite had a vaulted ceiling and the large main room was dominated by a king size iron wrap bed with a cream colored comforter with a rose pattern. The wallpaper was also in a soothing cream with a border at the top of roses. One door in the room led to a separate sitting area with a sofa, television and a fridge.

Nice if they decided not to leave the room, Mac thought as she wandered around the suite while Harm unpacked their bags. They could just stock the fridge and close themselves off from the rest of the world for a few days.

Another door lead to a very large bathroom with a whirlpool tub more than large enough for two and a separate shower. She smiled as she imagined the things she and Harm could do in that room.

She wandered back into the main room and opened the sliding door leading to the screened deck. Even as far away as they were from the beach – looking at the map earlier, Mac had estimated they were about 10 minutes away – she could still feel the cool breeze coming off the ocean and she thought she detected a bit of the smell of the salty sea air.

Mac smiled and leaned back into his embrace as Harm came out onto the deck and wrapped his arms around her from behind. They both stared out over the beautiful gardens below for a few moments, content just to be with each other in the romantic setting.

Sighing, Mac finally broke the silence. "How did you find this place?" she asked, almost afraid to hear the answer. She didn't think she wanted to know if he'd brought past girlfriends to this beautiful place.

Harm smiled above her head. He could just imagine what she was thinking. "Actually, Bud found it for me," he told her, imagining the relief on her face that he'd never been here before with another woman. "I wanted someplace near a beach, so I got Bud to help me do a search on the internet for bed and breakfasts on the coast. We looked at several sites before we found one for this place. When I saw the pictures, I knew this was the perfect for our first trip alone together."

Mac, relieved that Harm had never been here before with another woman, was touched that he would make the extra effort to find someplace special for them. "You know," she admitted, "I never thought of that. This is our first trip alone together. It wasn't long after we first got together that Chloe came to stay with us. We went up to visit your grandmother, but we hardly had any time alone with the whole family there. Then we found out I was pregnant and between that and work, we haven't really had any time to ourselves, especially after – well, you know."

"I'm glad you approve," he said, moving his arms slightly so he could rest his hands on her belly as he placed a soft kiss on the top of her head. "You know, you scared me a little bit yesterday when I thought you were mad about my arranging this without telling you."

"I wasn't mad," she reminded him, keeping her tone light. "And after seeing this place, I'm very glad you brought me here, even if it meant enduring the long drive to get here." She stifled a yawn, which did not escape Harm's notice.

Turning them around, he propelled them back inside the room and towards the bed. Moving away from her, he pulled down the bed covers as he told her, "I think someone needs that nap we were talking about a few minutes ago. Why don't you get undressed and crawl under the covers?"

Mac did as he suggested, laying her clothes on a nearby chair, and climbing under covers dressed in only her bra and panties. As Harm pulled the covers up over her, she asked hopefully, "Join me?"

Harm quickly stripped down to his boxers and joined her under the covers, Mac scooting towards the center of the bed so he could settle in next to her. Harm laid down on his back and Mac slid back over to she could lay on her side next to him, her head resting on his shoulder as he wrapped his arm around her. Suddenly, Mac had a funny thought and smiled, drawing a questioning glance from Harm. "What are you thinking?" he asked.

"It's kind of funny," she replied, "but I was just thinking that I can't remember in past relationships just cuddling up in bed together without the expectation of sex being involved. Not that I don't love the physical aspects of our relationship; in fact, that part is ..."

"Stupendous?" Harm interjected. Mac slapped him lightly on the chest.

"Funny," she said dryly. "At the risk of inflating your already oversized ego, that and a few other adjectives. But I also love the quiet times when we just lay together and enjoy each other's company. I don't know how to explain it, but just lying here in your arms like this makes me feel cherished."

"Well, I do," he replied. "Cherish you, I mean. I think that's part of why I acted the way I did on the ferry."

"Okay, I must be really tired," she said, her eyes fluttering closed, "because that last statement made absolutely no sense to me. Promise me something?"

"What?" he asked, even as he knew what the next words out of her mouth were going to be.

"When I'm a little more lucid," she said, stifling another yawn, "promise you'll explain that statement to me. I've got to hear how your cherishing me relates to your not being able to let go that night."

"I'll try," he said, giving her the same answer that he had the day before when the subject of the ferry had come up. When she didn't reply, he looked down to find that she had fallen asleep. For a while, Harm lay there watching her sleep, wondering if he could finally find the words to explain everything that he had been thinking and feeling that night.

-----

SUNDAY, 10 SEPTEMBER
1525 ZULU
CHINCOTEAGUE ISLAND, VIRGINIA

After a leisurely breakfast next to the lily pond behind the inn, Harm and Mac found themselves unable to decide what they wanted to do first. Finally, Harm suggested just driving around until they found something which caught their fancy. Eventually, they had made their way over to Chincoteague Island and Harm had suggested a walk along the beach until they decided what else they wanted to do.

Parking at a beach on the Atlantic side of the island, Harm suggested leaving their shoes in the car and walking barefoot in the sand. Mac had protested, suggesting the pavement they would have to walk over to get onto the beach would be too hot.

"It's not too hot," Harm insisted, taking off his shoes before getting out of the car and walking around to her side in his bare feet to prove the point.

"It had better not be," she retorted as she kicked off her shoes and climbed out of the car while he went around to get something out of the back of the car. Mac noted that the pavement didn't feel too bad beneath her feet. She looked down, making sure there were no obvious hazards such as pieces of glass on the ground and walked to the edge of the sand, stopping to wait for Harm.

When Harm joined her, she was surprised to see him carrying a small pail. Lifting an eyebrow, she asked, "Planning on building a sand castle?" Somehow, she was having a hard time imagining that scenario.

"Hadn't thought of that actually," he replied as they began walking towards the water. "I thought we could collect some sea shells."

"Shells?" Mac echoed. The idea of Harmon Rabb just walking along the water picking up shells was an even harder one to picture than him building a sand castle.

"Yeah," he said, grinning at her. "Haven't you ever just walked along the shore, picking up shells? Come on, it'll be fun. And that's what this little trip is supposed to be about, relaxing and having fun."

Mac shrugged. It did sound like fun and they could always use more of that. As they walked down towards the water, she stole a glance at Harm, marveling at the relaxed expression on his face, trying to remember the last time she had seen him that at ease with himself and the world around him.

Harm turned to look at her and noticed her scrutiny. "What are you thinking about?" he asked.

"Hmmm, just trying to remember when was the last time I saw you looking so relaxed and carefree," she replied.

A thoughtful expression crossed his face and he shrugged. "To be honest," he said, "I can't remember. An obsessive personality doesn't leave much room for relaxation."

"True," she admitted. "I do have to say that I'm surprised to hear you actually admit that you are obsessive. Knowing that you're behaving a certain way and actually admitting it aloud are two very different things."

"Well, thank you for the psychoanalysis, Dr. Mackenzie," he teased as they turned to begin walking along the water's edge.

"And I won't even charge you for that little bit of wisdom," she shot back. Spotting a shell, she knelt down to pick it up, grabbing onto his hand for support. As she slowly pulled herself back up with his help, she suggested, "Maybe we should revise that idea of yours. I point out the shells I want and you pick them up."

"I guess I should have thought of that," he apologized. "Sorry."

"Don't worry about it," she assured him, setting her shell in the pail. "Sometimes I have a hard time remembering to compensate for the extra seventeen pounds and counting that I am carrying around my middle."

They walked along the shore for a few minutes in companionable silence, enjoying the feel of the gentle breeze ruffling their hair and the cool water rolling against their feet. Eventually, they came to some rocks large enough to sit on and Mac suggested taking a break for a few minutes.

"Tired?" he asked as they sat down side by side on a large rock, propping their feet up on a smaller rock in front of them.

"Not really," she replied, looking at him intently. "I just wanted to talk and thought we should sit down to do it."

"About Australia," he stated. He'd known this was going to come sooner or later. The coward in him had just hoped against hope that it would be later.

"We did say we were going to try and talk about it," she reminded him. "You seem to still be beating yourself up over it and I don't want that hanging over us forever."

"There's so much that I was thinking and feeling that night," he said, wrapping an arm around her shoulders and pulling her closer. "I'm not sure where to start."

"Do you remember everything that was said that night?" she asked.

"Kind of hard to forget since I've been torturing myself about it for almost seven months," he pointed out.

"Well, then let's start at the beginning," she suggested, "when you pointed out 'what man ever really understands a woman'."

"Partly it was about you on the beach with Mic," he admitted, "but I was also wondering how someone so smart could keep making such bad choices in men. Well, not necessarily bad men, because even I have to admit Mic was pretty decent about the whole breakup, but how about making choices in men that are bad for you?"

"I don't know for sure," she replied. "Maybe given my past, I didn't really believe deep down that I deserved better. If I knew the answer to that question for sure, maybe I wouldn't have made those choices."

"Of course," he continued, turning away to look out over the ocean, "it drove me crazy, the idea that you were topless on that beach with another man."

"I wasn't, you know," she said softly.

"You weren't?" he asked, unconsciously echoing his words from that night.

"Mic did suggest it," she explained, placing a hand on his knee and squeezing gently. "But I was uncomfortable with the idea, so I insisted that he tie the strings behind my back."

"I also hated the idea that you seemed to be enjoying the fact that I was uncomfortable with the idea that you had been topless," he said.

"I will admit that was not the brightest move on my part," she replied. "I guess unconsciously I was trying to make you jealous, hoping you'd make a move. I had decided that I was going to lay everything on the line with you, as far as what I was feeling, but maybe there was a part of me that was scared about how you would react and I was hoping that you would make the first move."

"Last night, you asked me to later explain that statement I made," he said, turning his head back to look at her.

"When you said that it was because you cherished me that you pushed me away?"

"Yeah," he said softly. "I wasn't at a very good place in my life at the time, with leaving JAG and coming back, the resulting tension between us and some other things. I wanted you; I have ever since I let myself get to know you as Sarah Mackenzie and not just a carbon copy of Diane. That was never the issue. Deep down, I was scared."

"Of what, exactly?" she asked gently as he covered her hand on his knee with his hand.

"Messing it up," he replied. "I knew, given the state my life was in, that if we'd gotten involved at that time any relationship between us would have self destructed. At that time, I would have just been another bad choice for you. I loved you too much to put you through that."

"That's what you meant when you said you couldn't let go," she said, everything suddenly so clear. "You thought you needed to straighten out your own life before we could pursue a relationship."

"Of course, the ultimate irony is that I couldn't explain it very clearly," he said, laughing bitterly. "I'm a lawyer and a very good one. You don't get that way without being able to communicate effectively, yet I completely screwed up one of the most important conversations in my life."

"It didn't help that I wasn't listening very well that night," she reminded him. "I don't know, maybe I figured that love would conquer all, we'd fall into each others' arms and ride off into the sunset. Sounds corny, doesn't it? But when you didn't respond to the overtures I was making, I was so hurt that I blocked out what you were actually saying and interpreted it my own way."

"And that interpretation sent you running straight into another man's arms," he finished. "We're quite the pair, aren't we?"

"I guess with all the mistakes we've made, we deserve each other," she teased. When he didn't respond, she poked him in the ribs. "Come on, that was a little bit funny."

"I suppose," he said, "but I'd prefer to think of it as we have been through so much that we deserve to be happy with each other."

"Okay, who are you and what have you done with my fiancé?" Mac asked, laughing. "Let's see, in the space of an hour, you've managed to admit that you're obsessive, jealous, scared and unable to communicate personal feelings very well."

Finally, she managed to get a smile out of him. "Don't let it get out," he shot back, "I've got a reputation to protect."

"You keep this up and everyone's going to see that beneath that arrogant, flyboy ego you're just a big marshmallow inside," she said, grinning.

"A marshmallow?" he questioned, kissing the top of her head. "Ouch."

Turning serious again, she asked, "So are we finally okay about everything that happened that night?"

Harm smiled at her, a relaxed and peaceful expression on his face. "Yeah," he replied, "I think we're definitely okay."

-----

To be continued…