So sorryI didn't update anymore yesterday. I had some unexpected visitors. But I found some time away to post this. They're all asleep. :)
daddyzangel108: Glad you have faith. Guess this whole suing thing just won't die, huh? lol. Well, maybe you won't need to...
Sw33t Lavender: I did tell you Jack would fade, didn't I? Oops... well, if it helps,... wait, I can't tell you. Wouldn't want to ruin any future chapters, would we? And I know. Hello, wake up, Haley! Who is hotter than Nathan? Oh, if you want a face to put to the name Jack, think of Kerr Smith. If you don't know who that is, google him and find a good picture. He actually is kinda hot...
JamesLady4ever: Hey! Did you guys have fun in VA? Thanks so much for your review! It was so sweet. :)
Thank you guys so so much for the reviews. They were inspiring. :) Guess you're all wondering what will happen to naley... read on to find out...
Chapter 20:
She was halfway out the door and he hadn't stopped her. She had hoped he would; that he would tell her not to go. She knew if he asked her just once more, she'd leave it all in the past. She'd leave it all behind for him. But he wasn't asking, so she wasn't staying. Fighting back the tears that were always threatening to fall, she allowed the door to close gently behind her.
I will remember you
Will you remember me
Don't let your life pass you by
Weep not for the memories
It was pouring outside, the rain coming down in sheets that drenched her. But she didn't notice. The only thing occupying her thoughts was him. Nathan. All she wanted was to be back in his arms and to stay there for all of eternity. She turned back to glance once more at the closed door. It remained closed and a part of her knew he wouldn't be opening it for her again.
A streak of lightning flashed across the sky, illuminating the house he'd built; the home he'd made for them. And now she was leaving. Just like she always did. She hated that she was always the one running, but her past kept her from stabilizing anything in her life. There were no constants. There never had been. The only constant she'd ever had was Nathan and she'd pushed him away. Twice now.
Remember the good times that we had
I let them slip away from us when things got bad
How clearly I first saw you smiling in the sun
Wanna feel your warmth upon me, I wanna be the one
She didn't know how she would make it to the airport. She didn't have a car. She would simply have to hope there were cabs here and that one would pass by soon. Something told her she shouldn't hold out hope. Damn taxis. They were never there when you needed them. 'Guess I''m walking,' she thought, beginning to slump dejectedly toward the airport.
She hadn't even planned this out thoroughly. What if she couldn't find an empty flight to New York for days? What was she supposed to do; camp out at the airport? What if she couldn't find someone to take her to the airport? It would take hours to walk there and the rain didn't seem like it would be letting up anytime soon. Why did she have to be so damn impulsive? The only good that had ever come out of her carelessness was her relationship with Nathan. And now it was the same carelessness that had caused her to lose him.
The suitcase felt heavy in her hand. It was slowly weighing her down. The rain soaked through her coat, chilling her to the bone and she was sure she would catch pneumonia. 'That's what you get,' she thought to herself. And in reality, she did deserve this. It seemed as though all she was capable of doing was hurting the only people that mattered to her. She wished she could just forget about her past. But it meant so much more than it should have.
I will remember you
Will you remember me
Don't let your life pass you by
Weep not for the memories
As she reached the end of their street, or rather his street now, she stood for a few minutes, trying to decide which way to go. She didn't have an inkling of where the airport was and quite frankly, she hadn't thought she would ever need to. But, as she had to remind herself, plans change.
With an almost inaudible sigh, though she doubted anyone would've been able to hear it over the roar of thunder, she turned to the right and kept walking. "Haley!" Did her ears deceive her? She could barely hear the voice as it called out behind her. It got closer, this time sounding louder. "Haley! Wait!"
She turned and he was behind her, running as though his life depended on it. She stopped and waited as he caught up, dropping her suitcase as he reached her and hugged her to him tightly, as though he would never let her go.
I'm so tired but I can't sleep
Standing on the edge of something much too deep
It's funny how we feel so much but we cannot say a word
We are screaming inside, but we can't be heard
"Haley, I don't want you to leave. I want you to stay here with me. Please don't leave. Please, I'll do anything. I need you."
She returned his embrace just as tightly, sobbing in relief against his shoulder. "I won't, baby. I'm not going anywhere."
"Thank you thank you thank you," he breathed over and over again. He pulled away slightly to look into her eyes. "I don't know what I would've done, Haley. I can't live without you. I can't let you leave me again. I…… I can't."
"Shhh," she pulled him back against her. "I'm so sorry, Nathan. I don't want to hurt you anymore."
"Don't apologize, baby," he whispered. "It's OK. It'll be OK. We'll figure this out."
But I will remember you
Will you remember me
Don't let your life pass you by
Weep not for the memories
He lifted her up so that her feet left the ground. "Don't ever do that to me again."
Her tears of happiness mingled with the raindrops. "I won't. I'm so sorry. I love you. I'll always love you."
He set her down and pulled her closer to him. "I love you too, Hales. I love you so much."
He smiled down at her, so happy that she was staying, and kissed her. Her arms wound tightly around his neck, bringing his mouth closer against hers. "I love you," she murmured against his lips. His smile widened as his passion exploded in that one kiss.
He pulled away, but just barely, leaving only inches between them. One hand left her waist to grab her hand. "Come on. Let's go home."
Nothing had sounded so right in a long time. It was like music to her ears.
I'm so afraid to love you, but more afraid to lose
Clinging to a past that doesn't let me choose
Once there was a darkness, deep and endless night
You gave me everything you had, oh you gave me light
They set off together down that long road; to their home; to their future; to something better.
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In the early hours of that morning, they lay entangled in one another on the bed after hours of lovemaking, spent and exhausted. But happy, so happy. Nathan placed a breathless kiss on Haley's lips and smiled down at her. "I love you."
She looked up at him seriously. "I love you more than you'll ever know. When I'm not with you, I feel like I can't breathe. And when things get bad, I just wrap myself in the memories of us together. All the happy days we shared."
He leaned his forehead against hers. "You're amazing, you know that?"
She smiled at him. "We're amazing. Together."
He lay back down and kissed her lovingly.
And I will remember you
Will you remember me
Don't let your life pass you by
Weep not for the memories
He lay his head tiredly on her chest, trying to suppress a yawn. "Now, let's get some sleep."
She stroked his hair. "You go to sleep. I'm just gonna watch you for awhile."
He lifted his head to look at her. "Why?"
She smiled. "It seems so unreal. I have to look at you sometimes to remind myself that you're here. I used to think I'd really blown it; that you'd never give me another chance."
He sat up, bringing her with him and leaned against the headboard, wrapping his arms around her as she rested on his lap, head laying on his shirtless chest. He returned her earlier favor, stroking her hair. "Haley, I love you too much to turn you down. All you have to do is look at me with those beautiful eyes of yours and I'm gone."
She kissed his chest. "I just…… sometimes I really feel like I don't deserve you at all…… like I never did."
He held her tighter. "Don't ever say that, Hales. You did so much for me when we were younger and now you've had some rough times. It's my turn to help you. But never blame it on yourself. None of this is your fault."
And I will remember you
Will you remember me
Don't let your life pass you by
Weep not for the memories
He could feel her tears against his bare skin as her body shook with sobs. "But I left you, Nathan. I left and I broke your heart. It doesn't matter what had happened to me in the past. That's no excuse. We were so in love, so great together, and I just left you behind. How could I have done that to you?"
He kissed the top of her head. "Stop, Haley. You had to. You were just doing what you thought was best for both of us. I'm not saying I'm completely OK with it. But you can never blame what happened to you on yourself. It's that ass Jack's fault."
She shook her head, burying herself deeper in his arms. "Yeah, but it was my choice. I gave in to him. I let him do this to me."
He hurt for her. All these years, she'd blamed this on herself. He needed to make her see that they could get passed this. "Haley, people like Jack are manipulative and they pick apart even the strongest people. There was no way you could've withstood that. No one could."
Her voice shook. "I shouldn't have let him get to me. I should've stayed with you."
"Baby, there was nothing you could've done. You tried; you gave it your best shot. And it just wasn't working. You made a mistake, yes, but it was in my best interest. And I can be angry with you for that all I want, but it doesn't change the fact that you were just trying to make it better."
She just shook her head, crying harder. He placed a finger under her chin and lifted it so he could look in her eyes. "Haley, I've forgiven you. Brooke and Lucas forgave you. Peyton and Jake forgave you. Tim's probably already forgiven you. Everyone in Tree Hill forgave you. Maybe it's time for you to forgive yourself."
She nodded, reaching to wipe her tears. He stopped her hand's motions and leaned forward to kiss the salty droplets from her cheeks, her chin, her lips. She kissed him back, trying to forget how much she didn't deserve him; didn't deserve this.
They broke apart and sat in each other's arms, watching out the window as dawn spread over the world, fingers of light licking, reaching across the sky, painting away the darkness.
Nathan broke the silence first. "Look, it finally stopped raining."
They both gazed out the window, Haley starting at his words. She smiled. "Yeah, yeah, it did."
Weep not for the memories
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I know, the perfect ending, right?
Or so you think... I kind of thought it was too, but I needed to write an epilogue...
...all my stories have epilogues. So, since it's 12:40 in the morning, technically, you should look for the epilogue later today. That is if I can get away from my guests long enough...
...I don't know...
...some good reviews might motivate me. ;)