Appreciation by SLynn
Summary: An art heist, an arsonist and a lot of angst. Takes place approximately four months after the end of 'Precious Things' This is the fifth in a series. Greg/Sara and Nick/OC
Spoilers: Up to 'Nesting Dolls'
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: I'm just borrowing and will return them all when I'm done, virtually untouched.
Chapter 17: Truths
"So?" Greg asked once the door was shut.
Sara was standing there, arms crossed and staring at her feet. It took her a minute but she finally asked.
"Are you still sleeping with her, with Erika?"
Last week Greg would have told her it wasn't her business who he slept with. Hell, three days ago he would have said it but not now.
"No, why…"
"She was here tonight," Sara cut him off, still looking down. "She was here and she said that you two still…"
"It's not true," Greg answered honestly. "I don't know what she said but it isn't true. She's just trying to screw with my life."
Sara nodded slowly, but wasn't wholly convinced. Erika had not been lying; Sara had met enough liars in her life to know that.
"She said that you were job hunting in San Francisco and ran into each other. That…"
Sara stopped as she finally met his eyes. Greg had paled some and it was all the proof she'd needed.
"You did, didn't you?" she asked, now upset.
"It's not like it sounds…"
"What is it like then?" she asked and he wanted to die.
He wished she'd just get angry with him; it'd be easier to take. Standing with her now, Sara almost in tears, and he hated himself for it. Hated himself for a stupid mistake he couldn't change no matter how much he wanted too.
"Sara," he fumbled, "I don't know even. I was going through…"
"Don't give me that," she interrupted and he was almost sorry to get his wish, "We were both going through things. I wasn't out sleeping with every guy…"
"Sara," he interrupted, not understanding her at all, "why would it matter to me who you were sleeping with then?"
The look she gave him was cold and hard like she didn't believe it.
"Fine," she said after a tense pause, "You don't care. I know that when we had sex these last few times it didn't mean the same things it use to. I know that. But you knew I wasn't with anyone else and I thought you'd at least be honest with me if you were."
"You are the only one I've been with Sara since the first time we were together. Honestly."
"How can you say that when she just told me that you slept with her three months ago?" Sara asked, tears in her eyes.
"It wasn't three months ago," Greg returned shaking his head, "It was three years ago."
"What?" she asked back sharply.
"Three years ago," he repeated, "I took a week's worth of vacation and we met accidentally when I was back at Berkeley checking leads."
"But she said it was the last time you went home."
"I don't see her every time I go home Sara," he said shaking his head slowly, calming down now himself. "I've barely seen her in the last eight years."
"But it did happen…"
"Yeah, three years ago, like I said."
"Why didn't you tell me this before?"
"Because," he said with a small laugh, "You didn't want to know the details, remember? And I forgot. It's not something I sit back and think about fondly. Her marriage was pretty much over by then but she was still married and…"
Greg trailed off and shrugged his shoulders. He had no excuse.
"Why were you looking for a new job?" she asked, feeling better herself that at least it was such a long time ago. That they hadn't been together then and that Greg obviously regretted it.
"I needed a change," he said as evenly as he could.
Sara wasn't buying it. He looked more shaken up at her asking that question then he had at her asking about Erika. Greg saw her determination to know and sighed, sitting down in the nearest chair. Sara was soon next to him.
"It was after the accident," he started, "I'd probably come back to work too soon but I thought if I didn't then people would think I was afraid too."
Greg stopped and took a deep breath before continuing.
"I was having problems concentrating and keeping focused. My work was starting to slip and I just didn't care as much. After a few weeks I started calling in sick about once a week because I couldn't get out of bed and do it anymore. When I was at work I tried to act like nothing was wrong. A week later and I called in sick three days in a row. That's when Nick stopped by to check on me."
He paused and cleared his throat, more to give himself a break then for her.
"He suggested I take some vacation time, maybe even talk to someone. Griss had told me before I could talk to him but I couldn't do that. So I took Nick's advice and flew home. I was looking for a job then, thought at the time maybe that's what I needed, but couldn't go through with it. Had a few offers but it felt too much like giving up if I left the lab."
"And Erika?"
"It would have never happened if I had someone else," Greg admitted. "It was a stupid lapse of judgment and what can I say except I was lonely. I needed someone to need me and she always did."
For a minute neither of them spoke. Sara was looking at him and he was looking at the table. Greg didn't know what else to say, wanted desperately to know what she thought, but couldn't bring himself to ask.
"I'm sorry I wasn't there for you."
Surprise didn't cover it. Greg looked up at her and met her gaze.
"Sara it was years ago," he tried, but she was already shaking her head.
"I was too caught up in my own problems," she said with a firm nod, "I should have noticed."
"No one did."
"Nick did," she argued, "I should have too."
"We weren't close then," Greg tired once more, "Sara, don't blame yourself for that."
"But you've always noticed me," she said finally looking away, "When I've had problems you've always noticed. You've always cared."
Greg moved to close his hand over hers when the door flew open.
"What's going on?"
Sara and Greg turned as one to Ecklie.
"We were…we were just going over a case," Sara said blinking a few times before putting on her best game face.
He looked from her to Greg and back again, not buying it but having nothing solid to prove they weren't.
"Don't you have an active case to get too?" he asked.
"Not tonight," she returned, with each word her confidence growing.
He nodded and with one last skeptical look was gone.
Greg shook his head and let out a laugh.
"I've never got how you can just brush him off so easily."
"It isn't always easy," she contended, "But it's not always hard. You think too much about his good opinion."
"Only when it comes to my job," Greg said, smiling once more.
There was an awkward pause. They each knew there was work to be done but the conversation hadn't felt over.
"Can we talk about this, maybe over breakfast?" Greg asked hesitantly.
He really couldn't tell if she was still mad at him or not. If the reasons he'd given would seem valid, they didn't to him even after three years of rationalization.
"That's," she said already nodding, "That's good. Yeah, that's a good idea."
"We should probably start that work thing we were talking about then," Greg said.
Sara stood in agreement but before Greg could get to his feet she was back near him, bringing her hands to his face and their lips together. Greg couldn't remember her kissing him like this before, with such urgency and need.
"Man you two," they heard from the door causing them to literally jump apart, "Lock the door at least."
Warrick was already shutting the door before either of them could fully make out what he'd said, or the fact that as he'd left he'd done just that. He'd locked the door.
Sara was bright red and shaking her head, eyes fixed on the floor but Greg could only laugh.
"See what happens when we make out before shift starts," he said playfully as he stood up next to her.
Sara laughed and shook her head some more until he gently tugged on her arm, moving them both towards the door.
He stopped at the door and leaned against it for a moment.
"We can talk now if you want," he said, completely serious, "If you need to know now…"
"We can wait," Sara said with complete sincerity, "We don't have to talk about it at all if you don't want too."
"I do. I want you to know."
"Good, because there are things I want you to know too."
Greg smiled at her and undid the lock but paused before opening the door.
"Now remember," he said, "Try not to look like you want me too much."
Sara's face broke into an infectious smile before she could stop herself.
"Well don't laugh either," he said in the same mock tone, "It's not completely inconceivable."
"No," she said still fighting off the giggles, "It's not."
"Good," he said giving her a wink before opening the door.