The Story of a Retard
..Seriously, are Anni and I the only ones who think Seto is retarded? No offense to Seto fans, but he is kind of retarded. So here's a story making fun of Seto! This is only used for comedy…I mean; you Seto fans HAVE to have a sense of humor! This is my 1st story on fanfiction, so go a little easy. Thanks.
Disclaimer: I Do Not Own Yugioh, Three's Company, PhatFarm, Aqua Teen Hunger Force, the line "Gee-Wilikers…It must be Obvious Day in Camp Stupid" or anything Associated With This. Thank You.
One day Seto was walking. He thought he was all tough and that he was great because he owned a great company. Seto was on a business trip in the Bronx. He needed to walk through downtown because all his limos were in repairs and he was NOT about to take a taxi. So he was walking through downtown getting dirty looks from the street thugs. Fortunately-I mean unfortunately, one of the street thugs recognized him. "Hey look!" he said. "It's that rich punk Seto Kaiba!" "Let's jump him!" Another said. Pretty soon, a whole gang was on Seto's tail. Seto was never good in track so the thugs caught him and you heard funeral music playing as they beat him up. Then Mokuba appeared. "Hey! That's my brother!" Mokuba said. The thugs looked at him. "Yo, G, I like you. Why don't you hang with us?" The leader said. Mokuba thought. "OK!" Mokuba said. "Mokuba! What about me!" Seto whined. "…go to your stupid meeting." Mokuba said. Then he went off with the thugs to PhatFarm. Seto pouted like a bratty little 6-yr-old. Then he went off to his meeting.
The Meeting
"Hello, idiots. I am Seto Kaiba. I am great. Bow down to my great-ness before we start this meeting." Seto said. The meeting people glared at him and bowed down, without any enthusiasm. "OK, there's a bunch of pointless lines there, and a bunch of pointless lines there. If we put them together we get one big pointless line. Do you get what I'm saying?" Seto said. The people stared at him. "Now, to get this pointless line, we need..." He was cut off by someone throwing a tomato at him. Seto brushed off his face and started tap dancing and singing "I'm great, I'm great, everybody loves me!" The people booed him and left. The last guy said "You stink!" before slamming the door to the conference room. Then Serenity, the secretary came him. "Oh look it's Serenity! Serenity you're so pretty I love you!" Seto said. Serenity stared at him for a long time. "I…am…stupid." Seto said dramatically. "…Yes you are." Serenity said. She handed him the file she needed to give him and ran out of the room. Then Seto walked out of the conference room and saw his business advisor giving Serenity a paper. "…Give this to Mr. Kaiba, please." She said. "NO! I AM NEVER GOING TO GO NEAR THAT FREAK AGAIN! AHHHHHHH!" She screamed as she jumped out the window. "We're on the 35th floor!" The business advisor yelled to her. "Oh crap!" Serenity yelled. Then you heard ambulances.
In Seto's Office
Seto was watching a soap opera. "No! Richie! Don't take her! That's Janet's evil twin sister, Panet! Don't do it! NO!" Seto cried to the TV. Then you heard a knock at the door. "AHH!" Seto screamed as he fumbled with the remote and turned it to what he thought was the business channel. Seto cleared his throat. "Come in." Seto said. The business advisor, Lisa came in. "Mr. Kaiba I have an important…what are you watching, Mr. Kaiba?" She stared at the TV in shock. Seto looked over. "Holy toast!" He said as he saw what was on the TV. He quickly switched it off and laughed nervously. Lisa looked around nervously. "Here's an important letter from Phone&Refrigerator Inc. They want to meet for a TV marathon of Three's Company." Lisa said. "Awesome! I love that show!" Seto said. Lisa bowed to him and quickly walked out of the office and closed the door. Seto put the letter on his desk and turned to the Soap Opera he was watching. Another one was on. "Damn! I missed it!" Seto said then he pouted like a little girl and went to sleep.
Later
Seto was walking to his hotel when he passed the alley. He saw Mokuba dressed up like a street gangster. "Damn it Mokuba!" Seto said. "Yo, bro, it ain't 'Mokuba' no more. It is now M-Unit. Got it, G?" Mokuba said. "…M-Unit? Let me tell you, that nick-name really stinks, you know that?" Seto said. Mokuba stared at him. "…shut up." Mokuba said. "Just come with me. You can see your friends tomorrow." Seto said. "Fine, later, G's!" Mokuba said. "Bye!" They waved.
That Night…12:00am
Seto walked into Mokuba's room all tired and stuff. "Mokuba why are you still awake?" Seto asked. "Shh! I'm watching Aqua Teen Hunger Force!" Mokuba said. They both looked over at the TV. "…Gee-Wilikers, It must be Obvious Day at Camp Stupid…" Master Shake was saying. Seto looked back at Mokuba. "Well go to sleep soon." Seto said. "Sure, ok." Mokuba said. Then Seto left and Mokuba continued watching.
That Morning at Seto's Office
"WEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" One employee screamed as he chased Lisa around with a protractor. "The Coffee Mug will rule the world!" He screamed. "AHH!" Lisa screamed as she jumped over a desk out took out her own weapon…a ruler. Then they started having a whole Star Wars Jedi battle (don't own) with the protractor and ruler. "Lisa…I am your father's friend's cousin's girlfriend's nephew's 3rd grade teacher!" The employee said. "So what does the make us?" Lisa asked. "Your father's friend's cousin's girlfriend's nephew's 3rd grade teacher!" Employee said. "Okay….." Lisa said. She looked at him very oddly and backed away. "BEHOLD!" Seto screamed. He jumped up on a desk. "BEHOLD! I AM YOUR RULER! I AM THE GREATEST PERSON WHO EVER LIVED! LOOK AT MY HAIR AND MY GEORGOUS BLUE EYES OH I AM SO PERFECT!" Seto said. Everyone just stared at him. "BRING ME A PS2 FOR I AM BORED!" Seto stared. Everyone continued to stare and someone threw a tomato at him. "WHO KEEPS THROWING TOMATOES AT ME?" Seto asked. "It is I, The masked Tomato Man!" The Masked Tomato Man said. Lisa sighed. "Come on, Jimmy Neutron. We all know it's you." Jimmy took off his mask. "Aww man, ever since I turned not smart I can't seem to find a good job." Jimmy whined as he walked out of the office. Everyone stared for a second, shrugged, and went back to work. "I am a retarded retard." Seto said before walking back into his office. Lisa and the employee continued fighting like Jedi's because they thought it was fun.
Seto's Office
Seto was talking online.
SetoKaibaIsTheBomb: Yo
TristanT1103: Go away Seto I don't like you
SetoKaibaIsTheBomb: That's because I'm hotter than you
TristanT1103: If you want to be hot, then try pointy hair. It's much hotter.
TristanT1103 has just signed off.
Seto glared at the screen and then started ACTUALLY working. He did this for a while, got bored and watched his Soap Opera. "Panet killed Richie! NO! Why must the hot die hot?" Seto cried. There was another knock on the door. Seto quickly turned off the TV this time and cleared his throat. "Come in." Seto said. It was the leaders of Phone&Refrigerator Inc. "Hey guys!" Seto greeted. "Hey Seto! We got the Three's Company tapes and a bowl of popcorn!" They said. "That's great! Which should we watch first?" Seto said. "We have the whole entire series. Let's watch them in order!" One of the leaders said. "OK!" Seto said. They popped it in and enjoyed a Three's Company Marathon for the rest of the day.
Meanwhile With Mokuba…
You see Mokuba and the gang members in jail. "Who knew robbing a 7-11 was a crime?" Mokuba asked. A police officer walked up to them. "It wasn't a 7-11, son. It was a Victoria's Secret. You were on a sugar high and rampaged the store." The police officer said. Mokuba was silent. "…Oh." Mokuba said.
End
How do you like it? If it was short, I'm sorry. This is a one-shot, I don't know if I will make more or not, but for now it is a one shot, and there's one more thing I have to add:
"Lisa…I am your father's friend's cousin's girlfriend's nephew's 3rd grade teacher!" The employee said. "So what does the make us?" Lisa asked. "Your father's friend's cousin's girlfriend's nephew's 3rd grade teacher!"
About that part…I don't really own it, it's from the paceballs. I changed it around a little though. Just wanted to make sure. OK? So…umm…review please! And be nice, it's my first story. Thanks!
Helena