Garnet & Amber

XO'MagickMoon'OX

Matters of the Heart …

Koryu sat beside Kohaku's bed, mulling over everything he had learned since returning. Hisui and Kokuyo had gone back to bed, but Koryu was far from tired.

"She's suppressed her pain for so long, and it's finally catching up to her."

"She had no one to heal her broken heart."

"Her seeing us together and happy just reminded her of how alone she was."

"Why? Why did you leave? I needed you!"

"Kohaku …" Koryu looked down at the angel sleeping fitfully beneath the white cotton sheets. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have left." He clenched his fists, his nails digging painfully into his palms. "But how was I supposed to know you would need me? You had Shuichiro … you were happy the last time I saw you. I never knew this would happen.

"But … But why did you need me? What was I supposed to do to help? How was I supposed to heal your broken heart? Surely I don't have that ability … that effect on you."

But then again … I do lo –

No. It's not love. It can't be love. It's just a crush right?

What the hell am I thinking? I'm not some fourteen-year old schoolboy. I do love you, Kohaku. I love you so much. I … I'm just afraid you won't love me back.

Koryu stroked the angel's hair, his fingers playing with the light locks of blonde silk. Kohaku shifted in her sleep and groaned softly, another bead of sweat rolling down her temple.

How can she be so ice-cold … and at the same time be sweating? Koryu wondered.

Koryu looked out the window as the sun began to rise. The rays shining through the window painted the room with orange, casting shadows about. The demon squinted in the light and turned to Kohaku so that his back was to it. "Kohaku … please wake up," he pleaded. "Please." Tears blurred his vision, and his voice wavered. "I … I already lost you twice. Once when you were put to sleep, and another when you woke up and spent all of your time with Shuichiro. I can't lose you again, because this time I'll … never get you back."

He bent over the bed and buried his face in his hands. "Wake up, dammit!" came his muffled cry. "Please! Please!"

"… K-Kor … yu …"

The demon sat up and took Kohaku's hand in his own. "Kohaku?" His heart began to race as Kohaku stirred with consciousness. He was barely breathing as she groaned.

"Why's it … so … bright?" she mumbled, her eyes still closed.

Koryu didn't wait for her to sit up. He pulled her up himself and wrapped his arms around her, hugging her tight. "It's dawn," he answered, a smile playing across his lips.

"Oh." Her head was spinning, so she didn't dare open her eyes. She was disoriented, still trembling and numb. "… and … why is it so … warm?" she whispered.

Koryu blushed. "I … uh …"

When he didn't give a definite answer, Kohaku opened her eyes a little, her vision consumed with black. Then she realized, her mind sharpening a bit, that the blackness was Koryu's shirt. And the warmth was his embrace …

"Agh!" She straightened herself immediately, breaking free of Koryu's arms. "What's happening?"

Koryu sat back, blushing fiercely. "You … You fainted. You've been asleep for almost an hour. … You're … eh, sick."

Kohaku laid back against her pillows. "Ah, that explains why I'm so dizzy." She closed her eyes. She remembered what had happened before she'd fainted. She remembered Koryu coming home, after being gone for so long … thirty years. She remembered stepping towards him … she remembered … falling against him! And he had held her! Koryu!

She looked over to the demon, and a blush just as deep as his filled her unusually pale cheeks.

But it all seemed so blurry, like a dream. Had she dreamt it all? Certainly, she hadn't dreamt the part about him coming home, for he was still here. But she had to have dreamt the part about him holding her. Koryu would never do that! And she would never want him to do it.

Would she?

"It was all a dream, wasn't it?" she asked. "About you holding me …"

Koryu blinked. She thinks it was a dream? Earlier this morning? Is she so sick that she can't clearly remember what happened?

He smirked. It'll probably be better to allow her to think it was all a dream, he decided. "What are you talking about, bubblehead? I never held you!"

Kohaku smiled. This was the Koryu she knew. "Yeah, I can't imagine you ever being that sincere and sentimental, to be holding me and comforting me like you did in … my dream."

Koryu flushed angrily. "Why can't I be 'sincere and sentimental', huh? Is that so above me?" he snapped.

Kohaku smiled again. Her lids grew heavy. "Yeah. You're just a shallow, arrogant demon."

Her eyes closed gently, and she fell into a peaceful sleep.

Koryu stood and stroked the angel's hair one last time. "Sweet dreams, Kohaku."

Then he left the room, closing the door quietly behind him.

---

Days passed.

Kohaku slept most of the time, only waking every so often to have a glass of milk and spend some time out in the sun to restore her strength. But other than that, she didn't have the energy to stay out of bed. She was still ill, but she was doing better.

Hisui and Kokuyo silently noted that it was always when Koryu was watching over her that Kohaku seemed to get a little better. Sweating a little less, color returning a bit to her face, her body temperature warming up again to what was considered normal. She even slept better when he was sitting by her bedside.

But both the elder demon and former angel knew that, for as long as they were able, Kohaku and Koryu would never admit the way they felt about each other.

When Kohaku was awake and the two were together, their relationship was no different than it had ever been. Koryu teased and taunted Kohaku, she cried like a baby whenever he went too far, and she claimed to hate him with a passion.

Things were slowly settling back to normal.

Save the fact that Shuichiro was gone.

Kohaku was still haunted by dreams of him, how she had loved him so much, everything she had done for him, and all that he had done for her. Sometimes she dreamed of his death. At other times she dreamed of how the reincarnated Shuichiro had broken her heart.

But no matter what she dreamed, every memory of him left her with a terrible ache in her chest.

And this did nothing to help her condition.

---

Koryu sat beside Kohaku's bed one night, the light of the full moon shining through the window. He drank in the light, savoring every bit of it.

Demons thrived in the light of the moon.

Kohaku was sleeping peacefully, as she had been doing lately. Her illness had quelled a bit, much to Koryu's relief.

She was still abnormally cold, but not as icy as she had first been. She didn't sweat anymore, and she had stopped trembling. Every now and then she had fits of uncontrollable shaking, and at those time Koryu noticed that she became colder. But the fits usually passed …

Because Koryu would gather her up in his arms and hold her close until she was warmer again.

But this was always when she was sound asleep, and Koryu figured her fits arose when she was dreaming about Shuichiro, as she would sometimes mutter his name.

He wondered if she would ever get over that human.

Then, Kohaku groaned. Koryu's distant gaze sharpened as his eyes fell on the angel. She had started trembling. The demon sighed. He stood and bent over her sleeping form, scooping her up in his arms. He cradled her against him, shivering involuntarily at the feel of her cold body against his. Even through their robes, he could feel her icy temperature.

Her shivering slowly stopped, and her expression grew from one of pain to one of contentment. Koryu smiled, holding on to her for just another moment. He looked down at her peaceful face. Even if she didn't love him, times when he was able to hold her like this were moments too precious to waste.

He knew when she was awake that she would never let him touch her, let alone hold her, or kiss her. She just didn't love him.

Koryu sighed sadly and bent to put her back down.

But she wouldn't let go.

He looked down at her. Her eyes were still closed, her breathing still that of one sleeping soundly.

But her arms were wrapped tightly around his neck.

Damn, Koryu cursed silently. Now what? How do I get her to let go without waking her up?

Slowly, he lowered her onto the bed so that his hands were free. Then he reached behind him and worked his neck free from her arms. It wasn't a quick process, but it was successful, and soon she had released him.

But why had she held on? What could she have been dreaming about that would make her unconsciously do that?

No more than a second later, Koryu got his answer.

"Shuichiro …" Kohaku mumbled.

Koryu cringed as he felt an aching in his heart. She was never going to get over that human.

And therefore, she could never love Koryu.

Not when she was still in love with that damned human.

Koryu left Kohaku's room for the night, his eyes misty. He walked through the back door into the garden. Since Kohaku had taken ill, the garden had been less lovingly cared for, with its caretaker bedridden. Koryu jumped into a nearby wisteria tree and climbed through the boughs to the top. He lounged against the branches and stared up at the moon, bathing in its ethereal light.

As the cool autumn wind nipped at his face, he realized that the tears he had felt rimming his eyes were no longer just in his eyes, but rolling silently down his face.

Everything was so confusing. He loved Kohaku, but Kohaku loved Shuichiro. Koryu remembered something that Kokuyo had said to Kohaku once, a long time ago, when Shuichiro had first died.

"You're an angel. Once you fall in love, there is no way for you to fall back out of it."

"Damn. Damn, damn, damn!" Koryu muttered. "Why did you have to fall in love with him? If what Kokuyo said is true, then it's impossible for you to ever love me." Then, he whispered, "And I just had to fall in love with you. It's a hopeless love, I know. But I still love you, even if your heart belongs to another."

As Koryu stared up at the moon, his eyelids grew heavy. He slowly drifted off to sleep.