"Durty Vegas" Chapter 6

Author's Note: Ahh..it's here. The end of another Mentally Unstable saga. (sniffle) I'm gonna miss these here Vegas-centered escapades! (breaks down crying) ...I mean..uhhh...I'm cool. ON WITH THE SHOW! (dances off stage) Oh..yeah..(dances back to the stage)..I would like to thank any and all reviewers who have stuck by me these past six chapters! (sniffle) Even if I don't name names, you guys know who you are! Without you peeps this never would've been possible. (snif snif) THIS IS DEDICATED TO THE PEEPS OF THE MU NATION!..Oh wait..this isn't the Oscars? Shiznit.

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Autumn was walking past Melony's suite when all of a sudden she heard a gunshot, followed by a scream. The door opened and Melony and Shelton ran out, Mel in a long t-shirt and Shelton in boxers. Eddie and Christian ran out soon. And Autumn let out a long, overly dramatic gasp.

"YOU MADE HOT PASSIONATE INTERRACIAL LOVE!" She screamed.

Melony was about to snap back when she noticed... "Hey, where's Billy?"

"AHHHHH! MY ASS!" A voice screamed. Autumn ran over and opened the door to Billy's room to find him lying on the floor in a pool of blood. "OHMYGODITHURTS!"

Autumn had pulled out her cell phone and was already on the phone with 911.

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(5 or 6 hours later...)

Melony, Autumn, Eddie, and Christian walked into Billy and Shane's hospital room.

"Billy! Are you ok?" Autumn asked and ran over to his bed.

"My ass hurts!" Billy replied.

"It's freaky man." Shane said, "Who the hell is 'M.J.' and why did they shoot us in the ass of all places?"

Melony shook her head,"I dunno...but the police said they're working on it."

Shelton laughed, "But you gotta admit..it's pretty fricken hilarious!"

Mel whacked Shelton on the arm, "Shut up..it is not!"

Shelton continued laughing, and Christian ran over to Billy's bedside.

"NOMYBESTBUDDYICAN'TBELIEVETHISISHAPPENINGWHYYYYY?"

Shane threw his (empty) bedpan and hit Christian in the leg, "Hey! Dammit, you said I was your best buddy!"

"OW!" Christian yelled, "Hey, there's plenty of Captian Charisma to go around, baby! Yeeaah."

Autumn rolled her eyes, "You are aware..Captian Charisma is the cheesiest name ever!" She said.

"It is NOT!" Christian shoved Autumn.

"Didn't your mama ever tell you not to shove ladies!" She shoved him.

"Who's a lady!" He shoved her.

"Dude LOOKS like a lady!" She shoved him.

"WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE!" Shelton screamed.

Everyone looked at him and blinked.

"Yo holmes..." Eddie said, "What is up with that?"

Shelton sighed, "Two people have been shot and all you can talk about is a cheesy name?"

"You were laughing about it a minute ago!" Melony pointed out.

"So YOU think it's cheesy, too?" Christian asked.

Billy rolled his eyes, "I think you've all gone cuckoo!"

"Oh yeah..definitely." Shane nodded.

"Hey..what about the scene in the hallway?" Eddie asked, out of the blue.

Melony and Shelton exchanged looks.

"What scene?" Mel asked.

"You know, holmes, the scene where Autumn yelled something about hot passionate interracial lovin'!"

Autumn laughed, "Oh yeeaaah..I forgot."

Shane popped up, "Who made hot passionate interracial love!"

"I want DETAILS!" Billy yelled.

"Freak." Both Melony and Shelton said.

At that moment, a cell phone rang.

"Shello?" Autumn said into the mouth piece, "No way! That was fast!"

Melony raised an eyebrow.

"No, I can't wait..tell me!" And then, she gasped.

"THAT DIRTY WHORE! Ok, thanks so much man, I will SO pay you back." SHe hung up the phone, "I know what 'M.J.' stands for."

"What?" Everyone asked.

"Miss Jackie."

"I'M GONNA KILL THAT BITCH!" Shane screamed.

At that moment, the door opened, and in walked Jackie Gayda..with a .25 automatic..complete with a silencer. "It's about TIME you figured it out!" She said.

"What the hell is your problem!" Eddie yelled.

"Shut up, chalupa!"

"Oh, like I'm scared of a little girl like you, essay!"

"Hey! Who's got the gun?"

"OK, point taken."

"Why did you shoot us!" Billy yelled, "Because of you..my ass is no longer soft and pinchable!"

"Because.." Jackie said, "Why were the six of you chosen to go to Vegas? While I get stuck working my ass off!"

"But..you never do anything!" Autumn pointed out.

"Shut it." Jackie aimed the gun at Autumn's head.

"Ok..." She squeaked.

"Then..how did you get here?" Christian asked.

"SmackDown! has a few shows here this week. I thought I'd use it to get revenge."

"But..now you ARE in Vegas," Shelton said, "So..you have no reason to hold a grudge!"

Jackie looked around the room nervously, "Hmm..good point. I DON'T CARE! NOW YOU WILL ALL DIE!"

Again, aiming the gun at Autumn, she was about the pull the trigger when the door burst open, hitting Jackie in the back and sending her(and the gun!) flying across the room and onto the floor.

"Whew..got here just in time." The dude said, "Take her away boys."

Cops ran in and handcuffed Jackie, while reading her her rights.

"And..you are?" Melony asked.

"Uh..Greg." The guy said, "I'm a friend of Autumn's."

"YAY!" Autumn yelled and hugged us, "You saved us!"

Greg laughed, "Well, you are the one who brought in the card."

"What the hell are you two talking about?" Melony asked.

Autumn explained how she had known Greg a long time, and he happened to work in a police lab. So she took the card she found at the crime scene to his lab to see if he could lift any finger prints. Thankfully, Jackie didn't wear any gloves, so there was a full set of prints, so Greg ran them through the database and came up with "Jacqueline Gayda". Who's also been to jail for aggravated assault and arson.

"I would've gotten away with it too! If it wasn't for you and your damn lab nerd!" Jackie yelled as the cops stuffed her in the car.

"Oh, they're gonna love you where you're going!" Autumn said witha smirk and a goodbye wave.

A well-dressed man with a briefcase walked up to Melony and Shelton, "Excuse me.." He said, "My name is Mark Woest..I'm a lawyer with the Eoest And Woest law firm."

"Oh crizzap!" Shelton mumbled.

"Are you Mr. And Mrs. Shelton Benjamin?"

They nodded.

"You were married at the Wed-N-Go Drive Through?"

The nodded again.

"Well, I'm afraid I have some bad news. The Wed-N-Go was a scam--a cover up for a drug ring. Your marriage isn't legal. I'm sorry."

Melony stared at him, "Uhm..wha..huh?"

"So, we're both handcuffed together for nothing?" Shelton asked.

The lawyer nodded, "Yes..I'm afraid so. But if you come with me, I can have someone cut them off and we can all fill out the necessary paperwork."

Shelton smiled, "Yes sir..but Melony and I need to talk to someone first."

The exchanged looks, and Melony nodded.

"CHRISTIAN!"

-FIN-

Author's Note: Wooooooooooooo! (mumbles) That's one more piece o' crap that I can flush... (normal) I MEAN UHHHHH. I LIKE SOOO HOPE ALL YOU GIRLIES AND GUYIES LIKIE ITIE! SMOOOOOOCHIES! (Note: This is a message from Mark Woest, attorney of Mentally-Unstable, and a guy with a cameo in this story..any and all words that end in "ie" or sound like the words used by vally girls and/or fangirls was used completely for humor purposes. Mentally-Unstable is not responsible for any misunderstandings or complaints you may have. If you have any misunderstandings, call 1-800-555-MARK, if you have any complaints, call 1-800-KISSMYASS. Any and all compliments or constructive critisism can be sent in a review or an email. Thank you, have a good 4th Of July.) And I, Mentally-Unstable, am not responsible for anything offensive that Mr. Woest just said. Thanks peeps, I'm outie...PEACE!