Part 2: E/OW Fluff

Disclaimer: No, I don't own anything, and even if I did own it I probably still wouldn't own it.

The Happy Version

Christine left Erik. Erik was sad. "Christine!" he shouted, "I always loved you and now you've left me with not but a memory of your love."

"Welcome to my nightmare." Aragorn said, appearing from no where and then vaporizing.

"Oh, Christine! Without your pretty little nice-ness I am terribly depressed. I think I'll just lie on the floor of my lair and allow water-droplets to drop incessantly on my forehead as I shrivel up and die!"

"Oh don't do that, Eriky-poo!" a woman said, walking into the lair.

"Why?" Erik asked.

"'cuz I LUV ya, you cute little freak!" The woman squealed.

"Well," Erik said, jumping up, "Off with the old, on with the new!"

"Darling!"

"Dearest!"

"But who are you?" Erik asked.

"I'm Mary Sue!"

"Yay!"

Kisses.

The Sad Version

Christine had, once again, left Erik. However, unbeknownst to her, yet beknownst to us, Erik had contracted a rare illness and was 9/10s of the way dead already. Then Mary Sue arrived.

"Oh, no! Here I come all the way down here to confess my love to a man I have secretly admired and he is almost dead!" Mary Sue sobbed.

"Huh?" Erik asked weakly.

"I am Mary Sue, and I love you, but you're dying, what's a girl to do?"

"Oh, well, I may be dying, but I'll take advantage of this situation. Mary Sue is pretty!"

"I love you dearest, almost dead one!"

Erik coughed.

"Now I shall sing for you as you die in a voice that's miraculously better than Christine's!" Mary Sue proclaimed.

"That would be nice."

So she sang Heaven from Hayley Westenra's album "Pure". And Erik died.

The Humorous version

Erik was alone, and then Mary Sue came and...

Dear reader, I regret to inform you that I cannot continue this version. My computer rejected it on the basis of self-defense.

The Poetry Version

One day,

In May,

Christine Daae,

Went away,

But hey!

That's okay!

Mary Sue is here to stay!

The Math Version

1Erik-ChristineX

XMary Sue and all her accessories

Simplify: Love + 45B if LBL(Erik) and L OW what does OW stand for?

Answer: Mary Sue

The Fantasy Version ErïkØen wept bitterly as Princess Ćhristinęwën Daaëithiliä road away with Viscount Ŕaoulio de ÆChaneybjorn. Then Máry Süe of Åvelon came, and all was happily ever after! The Sci-fi version

Mari X Sue1 flew swiftly in her nuclear hyperpod. Then she crash-landed on the planet of Underoperalair. There she met Eerriikk, and they fell in love4000.

If you have made it thus far alive you are stronger than most. However, I warn you! Do not attempt part 3: R/C fluff. That was when the cartographer died.