Oh So Sweet…
Author: Kathleen
Email: Josh, Donna, and a smattering of others
Category(s): Humor (or at least trying to be) – sometime in say, between Season 3 and 4 (before all hell broke loose and Sam left!)
Rating: TEEN
Disclaimer: Not mine, not mine, not mine. Feel free to sue if you like, but it would be a waste of your time since you all have more pocket change than I have in my checking account!
Summary: Retaliation by Senior Staff. Sequel to "Bored At Work". You REALLY need to read that first for this to make any kind of sense!
Author's Notes: OK, so I thought the first story was going to be kind of lame, but I wanted to give it a shot. I'm really glad you all like it. Lots of people have requested this, so here's another shot at trying to be funny! I've been struggling to come up with ideas – how do you all do it? Anyway, if you think this is lame, I apologize now, but please keep it to yourself or delete the story. I like to think I'm a funny girl and to hear that I'm not would be devastating! ) Just kidding! Gags taken from and laughed all during dinner.
The four of them couldn't believe that they pulled off two weeks without getting fired. As they walked out of the restaurant, they all complained that their stomachs hurt from laughing so much. Little did they know what was in store for them, because as they were walking through Georgetown, Sam was in the office, scrounging around Ginger's desk looking for a memo he had given her earlier. As he started going through a stack on the corner of her desk, he found "the game".
Sam spent a lot of time laughing hysterically and gathering up his friends to let them know what he had found.
Josh, CJ and Toby all read the list. When they finished, they looked at each other, astounded that the assistants had managed to pull this off for two weeks. Josh was the first to be able to string words together.
"I can't believe they did this. What, they think running the country is funny business?"
CJ just smacked him with her blue folder. "Oh shut up Josh. C'mon, really, you're just mad you didn't think of it first."
"Yeah, well, that too."
CJ started to giggle. The other three just looked at her as the giggles turned into her famous Cheshire Cat grin that CJ got when she was formulating a plan, like when she planned to antagonize the House of Representatives before the MS hearings started.
Toby knew that look well. "Out with it Claudia. What are you planning?"
She just smiled and ushered the boys into her office to hatch a plan of retaliation.
The weekend was very uneventful for the senior assistants. They barely saw their bosses all weekend and since it was slow while Congress was still out of session, they got Saturday afternoon and all day Sunday to themselves. When Monday morning came around, they were back to acting like their normal selves.
Margaret managed to beat Leo in Monday morning. She was busy organizing the day's business and triaging messages as she went to sit down in front of her computer and get started on her day.
She sat in the chair, which immediately dropped out from underneath her. Before she knew it, she was staring straight at the drawer on her desk. She managed to haul herself out of the chair, which immediately rose back to its regular height. Leo came in the office as Margaret poked the chair with her pen.
"Something wrong?"
"Umm… not sure." With that, she gently sat back down in the chair. She smiled as she started to get comfortable, only to have the chair drop back down to the ground. Leo couldn't help but laugh.
Margaret hauled herself out of the chair again. "It's not funny Leo!"
"What the hell is wrong with your chair?"
"If I knew that, you think I would still be trying to figure it out?"
Leo moved Margaret out of the way and leaned to get a look underneath the chair. She heard a loud rip and Leo stood back up holding a piece of duct tape.
"Looks like somebody rigged your chair for you this morning."
Leo handed her the tape and walked into the office as she stood there wondering who in the world would think to do that.
Tuesday morning found Ginger in the office at 7:00, but not managing to beat Toby, who looked like he had been there all night.
She stuck her head in his office. "You been here all night."
He continued typing. "Couldn't sleep, so I wanted to get a jumpstart on the UN speech."
She was about to turn around and leave when he called to her. "Hey, I need a favor. I haven't had a chance to go through the early editions yet. Mind doing that for me."
Ginger sighed. She hated doing that. She usually tried to pawn it off on some lowly intern, but since she was here early and he had asked, she really didn't have a choice. "Yeah, no problem."
Ginger read for about 30 minutes, getting more and more frustrated. "Toby!"
He came out of his office. "What?"
"OK… maybe I'm just… I mean, I got 8 hours of sleep last night so I don't think it's that… it's just…"
"Spit it out Ginger!"
"OK, so none of these articles are making sense. It's like the Post has lost its mind."
"Ginger, you aren't making any sense."
She pointed to the article about the education bill on the front page. "See this story. See how it says 'continued on A18'. Well, I turn to page A18, and look" she pointed again "no education bill story."
Toby just looked down at the page. "Well.. hmmm… how 'bout that?" He turned to head back into his office before he started laughing. He was about to sit down in his chair when he heard her.
"Wait a minute! No wonder… who in the hell put yesterdays section in the middle of this morning's paper?"
"No way Josh!"
"Yes way Donna!"
"JOSHUA!"
"DONNATELLA!"
"Absolutely not. No way in hell am I doing that."
"And, may I ask, why not?"
"Because."
"Good answer."
"I'm not doing it Josh. I've already done my one humiliating stalker at an official function thing. I'm not doing it again!"
"Yes you are."
"No I'm not."
"Donna, look, someone needs to stick to this kid…"
"You do it."
"I can't."
"And why the hell not?"
"Because, Donnatella, I am an important man with important duties and I can't be seen following around some 20 year old girl. What would people think?"
"Josh is on the prowl again."
"You're very funny today."
"I said no, Josh."
"Well, you kind of can't. I already told Ron that you were doing it, so he's expecting…"
Donna let out a very loud groan and stalked out to her cubicle. Josh followed and smiled as she grabbed her purse and sunglasses.
"Where are you going?"
She whipped around and glared at him. "I need to not be near you right now and I want some ice cream. I'm going to get some air and some ice cream. I'll be back. By the way, I need money."
"Go to an ATM."
"JOSHUA! CASH! NOW! You owe me SOOOOOOOOOOO much."
He just smiled at her as he reached into his back pocket, pulled out his wallet and handed Donna a 20 dollar bill.
"You're welcome" he yelled as she stormed down the hallway. "Hey, can you get me…"
"ABSOLUTELY NOT" she screamed as she turned to the corner to head out of the building.
23 minutes later, Donna returned, not quite so mad and with a satisfied sweet tooth after a large cone of rocky road ice cream from the vendor in Lafayette Park. She turned the corner to head back to the bullpen when Larry and Ed passed her.
"Hey Donna."
"Larry, Ed."
"Donna, so, how much?"
"Excuse me?" She turned and just stared at them.
"How much is rent?"
"I'm sorry, rent?"
Ed and Larry just laughed. "Yeah, never mind." They were around the corner before she had a chance to inquire more. Donna just shrugged her shoulders and kept on walking. She was putting her sunglasses in her purse as she reached her desk. She sat her purse down on the desk top when she noticed something strange. Everything had been removed from her desktop and all that remained was a black and orange "For Rent" sign. Donna picked it up and just stared at it.
Josh was in his office when he heard her – "Hey, seriously, where's my stuff? And who's trying to rent out my desk?" Josh had to cover his mouth to keep from laughing out loud as the rest of the staff laughed for him.
Friday morning came very quickly for the West Wing staff. Carol poked her head in CJ's office while she was meeting with Toby, Josh, and Sam.
"CJ, I'm headed down to the mess with Donna, Margaret and Ginger to grab some lunch. You need anything?"
"Nope, take your time."
"Ok then." Carol took one more glance at the Senior Staff before she headed down to meet the other assistants.
45 minutes later, Carol stuck her head back into CJ's office when she noticed that the four of them were still in there. She was about to say something when something struck her as odd.
Carol just stared at the four of them, who, in turn, were staring at her back.
"Something wrong Carol?"
Carol stared at her boss. Carol would have sworn that CJ was wearing a navy suit when she left for lunch but now she was in a gray pant suit. She looked at the three men. She would have also sworn that Sam was wearing a black suit, Toby a brown, and Josh in his 'Joey Lucas' khaki suit when she left, but now Sam was in navy, Toby in black and Josh in brown.
Sam got out of his chair and stood in front of Carol. "You feeling alright?"
"Ummm…. Yeah, no, I'm fine… it's just… well I thought… ummmm… did you all change your clothes?"
The four senior staffers all looked down at what they were wearing. Carol heard a bunch of "no, I've been wearing this all day… nope, this is what I left the house in this morning… you should really pay more attention to your surroundings Carol."
Carol backed out of the office. "Yeah… well… ok then… I'm just… I'll… I'll shut the door."
Carol shut the door and sat down at her desk with her head in her hands. She would have sworn that she heard laughing as she shut the door, but she immediately threw it back open to four straight and serious faces.
Donna, Margaret, Carol and Ginger stood in front of Iota at 9:15 Friday night, each holding the flyer they had gotten that afternoon.
"Feel welcome to join other White House Assistants at Assistant Happy Hour, tonight at Iota. Starts at 9 and goes till the alcohol runs out!"
The four of them just stared at each other.
"You know, normally I'm not a happy hour kind of girl, but it's been that kind of day."
"I know Carol, it's been that kind of week."
"Seriously, I would swear that the four of them changed while we were at lunch."
"My mouse is still missing. I swear, if someone stole it, I'm gonna bust some heads."
"Leo is still laughing at me cause I check my chair every time before I sit down."
"I can't even look at a paper anymore. I swear, it's like someone is screwing with us on purpose!"
Donna threw open the door to Iota to find it mostly deserted. Margie, the regular weekend host welcomed them.
Donna looked at her. "Where's the party?"
"What party?"
"The happy hour party."
"Donna, happy hour ended at 7."
"No, it's a special party. Here, I've got the flyer."
Margie read the flyer and just laughed. "Yeah, I think I know who you are looking for. All the way in the back."
The four assistants made their way to the back and stopped dead in their tracks when they saw the large booth filled with Josh, CJ, Sam and Toby. Above the four of them was the large "Best Assistant in the World" banner. And, to top it off, they four of them were laughing hysterically.
CJ was the first to calm down. "You all are late."
The assistants looked perplexed. "Late?"
"Yeah, for 'happy' hour."
Donna sighed. "There is no happy hour party."
"Nope." Toby just smiled.
Ginger giggled. "Well, god, no wonder Steve from Political Affairs was pissed when I told him about it. He just mumbled something about being underappreciated cause he was new or something."
Josh stood up and motioned for the women to join them. Donna slid in between CJ and Josh. She grabbed a beer out of the bucket and pointed to the sign. "So, what's this all about?"
Sam dug into his suit pocket and pulled out a piece of folded paper and handed it to Donna. She opened it up and immediately started to laugh.
Carol, Margaret, and Ginger just stared at her. "What?"
Donna laid the paper on the table as she wiped her eyes. The other three started to laugh when they saw what was laying in front of them – "Play the Office Game."
Josh bumped Donna with his elbow. "We had all just about decided that you four had lost your minds when Sam found the list." Realization hit Carol.
"So, wait… there have been some… let's just say odd things this week. Like your outfit changes this afternoon."
"My chair!"
"The newspapers!"
"My desk going up for rent!"
CJ just laughed. "Yeah, let's just call that revenge – cause it felt oh so sweet to get back at the four of you."
The assistants just stared as their bosses clinked their beer bottles together over the table.
"I'm in awe" Donna responded.
"Aren't you always, Donnatella?"
"Shut up Joshua! WAIT… does that mean I don't have to follow that girl around."
"Oh no, you still have to do that, but it was a good way to get you out of the office for 20 minutes."
"I really hate you sometimes!"
They all laughed and the assistants realized that they had been beaten at their own game.
THE END