Chapter 10 - Satsu's Inner Thoughts
Author's Note: Me thinketh that the last chapter raised more eyebrows than I predicted. I do hope that you realize that you who must know how Sheba (assuming, of course, it is the Sheba we all know and love/hate) is in the Ascendancy have been hooked by my claws and will be forced to continue reading the whole story.
Or maybe I'm being over-dramatic and too hopeful. Though I do want to thank the reviewers, though; I was suprised to post this fic and get so many reviews back in twenty-four hours. This fic is far more popular than I thought it would be.
And since you are probably more intent on what Satsu's mind is thinking, I would like to give fair warning in advance (to the two of you who actually read these notes): expect more thinking, and expect a few...twists... Also, don't make hasty assumptions, as things may not be what they seem...
Now you must ask if I am serious, or if I'm teasing you. Which is it? I'll let you think that over.
Disclaimer: See chapter 1.
He stood on the bridge of the Hamanotra, surveying the seemingly endless expanse of the eastern seas, as seemingly endless as time itself seemed. In a short time, they would arrive within the so-called "Dominion of Free Traders," a loose alliance of merchants, pirates, thieves, thugs, and most other forms of low-lifes, based on what was once known as Atteka, as well as numerous hidings and centers of trade in southern old Gondowan. He chuckled as he recalled the Contigian's slow realization to the subtle take-over of their ancestrial homes, almost running them out, had their Adepts not used knowlege gained at the Lighthouse to keep a small plot for themselves.
Sighing, he made his way down a short flight of stairs onto the main area of the boat. At night, the "main deck" was about as devoid of life as he had been mere days before. Sitting down atop a crate marked "Elements," yet another sigh fled his lungs.
Shaking his head, he gathered his thoughts. "Sigh fleeing his lungs" indeed. Long ago, maybe he would have still believed that he had a body, that the only difference in him was his mind and abilities. It had taken what seemed mere hours to realize that he was no longer as he was, yet he had realized just how much time had taken when he met Mai.
After realizing he could control his new gift of shifting into some other form of Elemental energy, he had taken the occasional leave of the limits of the physical being and enjoyed the freedom, the pleasure, the insatiable enjoyment of existing as the psynergy that coursed through him, existing as nothing more than a being of pure thought and creation. Almost like a god, it was.
For a time, however long it was, he knew not, all the cares of the world escaped his attention; Everyone he had known had become mere memories or myths. The rejuvination of Weyard's "soul" was considered a fairy tale by many, and he could no longer face this shell of a world, a world that would soon find itself obliterated when it collided at high speeds with its origins.
At some point, he realized the events that had created Weyard, and why it was falling. Allowing his physical apparation to lean against the crate behind him, he turned his attention to the war, the devestation, the imminant doom of all life. Ironic that the war was fought three-ways: there were the humans, of course, the ancient ancestors to those living on Weyard; the Tousui, a race of beings believing themselves to be superior to other life, that all other life should serve them; third was not even a natural race: the Rihatsu were living things, but made of inorganic objects, like stone and ore. He somehow KNEW of these lifeforms, knew that they still existed below, knew that the war fought was one so ancient that no one even knew how long ago it was that they first realized they forgot why the were taking orders to fight.
And yet, though he knew all of these things, he could not go down there. He could not travel down there via his physical form; even using psynergy to control his discent, the distance was too great, even for his abilities, and his physical shell would shatter, and he would be unmade. Nor could he leave as his psynergetic form; try as he might (and did), he could only travel so-far from Weyard before he began to disintegrate, only to reform once he was near Weyard again. Why he was bound so to the massive rock he did not know, and would never know.
Assuming, of course, that his answers were not in the Heart of Weyard.
When he was the creature known as Alex, he heard tales of the Heart, of the wealth of knowlege and information stored within. Tall tales of cures for disease, infinate lifespans, the abilities to create life itself; all these, and more, were said to be contained within the heart of the world.
But once the mortal being Alex was engulfed by raw psynergy, he was born, and he dismissed any of the legends that would entice lesser creatures into hunting for the secret entrance into nervanah.
Had he had his way, he would never have bothered returning to physical form, to allow himself to interact with the mortal world and experiance time and life as they knew it. But then, for reasons he still was unsure of, he was attacked, his being shrinking and fading out of existance. In respose, he returned to a mortal form, and saw her. Somehow, she had been transformed as he had, yet how had she done so and eluded his notice?
At the instant she formed, two other forms materialized, both of which were forms that he recognized from when he was Alex. One looked like the Venusian Felix, the other like the woman Jenna; both attacked the one who might have once been called Sheba with abilities that were far beyond any mortal on the planet, and even beyond his abilities as he was in either form.
Suprisingly, she managed to thwart their actions, and almost ended "Felix's" existance, had he not interviened. He shielded them with an aura from his body, reversing her own attack upon her. She seemingly dissapeared, but he knew that such a foe would not simply vanish. He looked for the two others, but they were long gone, leaving him in his physical shell, wondering what had transpired.
It had not taken long before he learned that she was seeking to return an ancient evil to the world, an evil that was, ironically, responsible for the suffering of all in the worlds, both Weyard and the world below. How or why they were, or how he even knew this, he could not recollect. Yet he sought to protect the world of Weyard, not from its own doings, but from what she sought to do.
Which meant that he would have to find a way to return Weyard to its origins, where efforts could be made to ward off the ancient floating object known as Anemos.
After forming the "Silent Saviors" and making alliances with select organizations and mortal individuals, he began his search for adepts with enough power to open the entryway into the Heart of Weyard.
Within mere mortal seconds of that thought, he found himself aiding the two from earlier against her, with "history" repeating itself. Before the two could flee, he conveyed his thoughts, of how to stop her. The agreement was such: he would seek out the others to help open the gate, "Felix" would conceal his actions as was possible from her, while "Jenna" would guard "Felix," to ensure that the protection stayed in place.
And what happened as they vanished? She attacked him from behind, rendering him unconcious. Not even with all his powers could he have broken out of that transe, and had it not been for the healer Terra, he might have found himself unmade by the dangers of the physical world.
Terra. The mortal creature - a woman - stirred him in ways he had not felt since his transformation. She was intelligent, even if her knowlege of the old was mirred by the physical limits of time; she was kind and polite, a rare trait, one that her bloodline was notable for; she was beautiful, even to a being who had no real use for beauty.
He had known who she was when he became aware again, knew that she meant him no harm, nor would she ever bring herself to harm him; he knew it. Yet something within the depths of his mind, an almost primal instinct, sought to keep her near him, more for her own protection than to keep her from harming him. He recalled talking with her, could tell she was intoxicated by him, by his mere presence. He knew such a thing had never happened to him before, at least not so honestly; many other mortal women in his short time among the physical sought his company, but always with some kind of alternate goal behind their lusts; Terra had no such goal.
He found himself wishing he could just let her be, to go on without disturbing her life with the things to come. Or with him in her life, even. But she was needed for the opening of the door, and she had to come with him.
And then the local creatures sought to do him harm, even harm her who wished only peace and life. His anger alone was almost enough to slay them were they stood, but then other creatures began the slaughter for him, clad in what might have been protective gear, he ended their existances swiftly and quickly; within seconds, the survivors fled, and he would be able to continue-
except that he found Terra clinging to his appendage, begging him to stop the killing. He had no ill to attack those that were fleeing or not posing a threat; why else had he not slain the half-wolfman/half human or the creature whose mind was intoxicated by some beverage? Yet she believed he would have, and pleaded him to stop. He tried explaining his actions, but his efforts could not break past her anguish and devestation at seeing so many mortals wiped out of existance, or slaughtered so.
By all rights, he should not have given a damn what a mortal thought of him. He was far superior to these lesser creatures; how dare she try to have him explain himself to her! These thoughts clashed with those seeking to comfort her, to ease her pain, wanting to care for her. What was this that infected him, this wish to protect and comfort her, to earn her approval? He did not need it, and if he did, why not make her like him with his abilities?
He then did something that startled all around him, and even himself: he opened the earth and buried the dead, even though some did not deserve a burial. After doing that, he even asked her to forgive his actions, even so far as to ask her as a peon would ask a divine spirit to forgive an unforgivable act. Why was he, a being far above these mortal insects, begging one to forgive him? He half expected her to shove him away, to try to rid her mind of his presence.
Yet she forgave him, accepted his begging. Why she did that, why she forgave someone who had commited such a breach of her own beliefs and teachings, he did not know. He also pondered why he bothered to help the drunken thing called Meitei out of the rubble, given that his choice of consumables would lead to his demise within a short time, as far as he himself thought of time.
Once he had helped Terra aid Meitei, he left the hole in the earth, claiming to give her some privacy as she freshened up. His mind attacked himself for that excuse; why had he even THOUGHT of THAT kind of an excuse, given that he could see the elements and the psynergy within all things, including her figure and mind? What made him act so...human?
Whatever drove him to that line of thinking did prove to be helpful, though; he used the time she would take to change and clean to meet the one who called himself Inubaka, and upon noting the outcast's desire to watch over Terra and prevent anything negative happening to her, enlisted his assistance and aid, in case his mind's now-unreliability grew worse.
He then went inside and altered his attire, mildly annoyed by the physical creations mortals deemed necessary to hide their "private" areas, but tolerated it for her benefit. He sat next to her, wondering what it was that made him act so around her, what made him forget his superiority over her, what drove him to want to hold her and never let go. In an attempt to learn what drew him to her, he observed her actions, her pose, and, to an extent, her thoghts. When he realized she felt uneasy about not knowing his "name," he gave her one that he had recieved in the Dominion of Free Trade: Satsu. He then found himself talking to her, altering his thoughts into words that would be more understandable to her. Somehow, his inner being did not want her to know about his true abilities, or what he was. Why he wanted to hide that which defined him, he could not even begin to fathom.
And then, for whatever reason her mind decided, she switched her line of questioning to a question he himself had been wondering. Realizing that he had not imprinted the thought on her, he laughed. In the countless mortal measurments of time since he left the mortal coil, he laughed. A wierd feeling, one that was somehow...enjoyable.
After allowing the conversation to continue, they made preperations to move on. He had warped them a small ways away to where the HAMANOTRA was docked, and after a brief pause, he followed Terra, Meitei, and Inubaka onto the ship, and they made sail for the Dominion.
His mind shuddered at the thought of returning to that pit. Though he was no mere mortal, and though their true goal was not as bad a location (in relative comparison) as some, he still dreaded having to bring HER there. Had he thought it possible, he would have warped them all there and spare the time. But such jumps were dangerous, mostly due to the fact that she could (and would) sense them.
Why, though? why did he feel bad about bringing her into such a dangerous place? With him near here, no harm could come to him. And why was he so intent on making sure she was at his sire you doing? Are you awake?
Clearing his mind accidentally caused his body to jump a bit, and it took himself a second to focus his attention on the creature who-
was so beautiful, and standing right before him. Trying to mentally refocus on why she was awake so late and wandering the ship, he moved on the crate so that she would have room. Why he did so was a thought he would not even acknowlege; he was almost ready to give up on why he went out of his way to be considerate to what should have been treated as useless.
"I didn't wake you, did I?"
He shook his head, more for her appeasement than a result of taking physical form. "No, just thinking. Why are you out so late?"
Alarmingly, she slowly slid over towareds him, leaning into his arm and wrapping her own arms around it. "I was worried."
He knew full well what she was worried about, and did not bother answering, thinking that he should not have to inquire about something so irrelivant. But then he realized that not answering and leaning his head against hers (as he suddenly found himself doing) was a more comforting response.
Neither spoke for a time, and though he wished to continue with his thoughts undisturbed, he rationalized that his time would be better spent trying to understand why he found it so comfortable to be so close to her.
And why he could not bear the thought of any harm coming to her.
Wow. Uh, dang. That was a moster of a chapter compared to a lot of my others, no? THIS one should get the ol' gears going, as I explain a few things (such as touching base on what happened in Chapter Eight) and adding many new wrinkles (namely, the fates of Alex, Sheba, Felix and Jenna, among others). Before anyone bashes me or goes nuts about the whole "supreme being" think, reread the chapter and my intro.
And remember this: Things may not be what they seem, or they may be what they are.
I appreciate any and all comments (provided they are intelligent and not mindless flames), and am looking forward to your reviews from reading.
Now, if you will excuse me, I need to go get this philisophical line of thinking out of my head...
MIKAA