Buffy and Susan went to sleep on Buffy's bed around 3:00 that morning. I leaned up against the side of Buffy's bed and dozed. At 5:00, I woke up to see Buffy up and around.
"You're up early," I said.
"I go back to work at 6:00," Buffy said. "I work 6:00 AM to 9:00 PM, it's what keeps me in these luxurious digs. Mitch pays me in cash so I'm probably guilty of tax evasion."
"You don't even look tired."
"I only require two to four hours of sleep a night."
"So you work 15 hours and then go hunting vampires for another 4 hours?"
"Yeah," she said. "It keeps me busy."
Buffy looked at me.
"Hey, Mr. Spenser, your eyes look kind of red."
"Well sure, I didn't get much sleep last night. Then there was the crying."
"My story made you cry?"
"Sure," I said.
Buffy smiled, the first genuine smile I'd seen from her. It was a nice smile. "I thought you would be too tough for that."
"You're tougher than I am," I said.
Buffy laughed, the first genuine laugh I'd heard from her. It was a nice laugh.
"That's not the kind of toughness I meant," she said.
"But that's probably the kind of toughness I meant," I said. "I wasn't referring to super strength."
I looked at Susan. She was still asleep. "I don't think, if the positions were reversed, I could have done what you did, even to save the world."
Buffy looked at Susan.
"You really love her, don't you?"
"I do."
Buffy shrugged, then picked up her waitress uniform and went into the bathroom. Before she closed the door, she looked at me.
"She's beautiful," she said.
Buffy closed the door and soon I heard the shower running. Susan woke up.
"What time is it?" she said.
I told her. Susan got off the bed. There wasn't really any place to sit except the bed. We stood and waited for Buffy to finish in the shower. We waited as the shower went off, and we heard a hair dryer. Then Buffy came out in her waitress outfit, barefoot, and started to put on her socks and shoes.
Then she stood up and looked at us.
"So, what happens now?" she asked.
"Well," I said. "I personally think you ought to go back to Sunnydale. You have people there who love you, who could help you through this."
Buffy shook her head.
"No," she said. "I'm not ready to go back. I nearly lost a lot more people I loved than just Angel when I was there."
Susan looked at Buffy. Her gaze was intense.
"Are you sure that's the reason why you don't want to go back?" Susan asked. "To protect your family?"
Buffy looked thoughtful.
"No," she said. "The big reason is that I'm just not ready to return to Sunnydale. I'm not ready to face anyone there yet. I mean, for example, I know Xander lied to me about Willow's message. I knew it as soon as Angel's soul came back to him. But if he'd told me the truth, Angelus would have killed me. I want to kill him and thank him at the same time. I pretty much feel the same about everybody back there. It would have been so much easier if Willow hadn't restored Angel's soul, but because of her spell I was able to see him one last time. My mother kicked me out of the house, and Snyder kicked me out of school, and those things probably helped me to focus, but they still hurt."
"You know your mother really didn't mean it when she told you not to come back," I said.
"Yeah," Buffy said. "I know….But I'm still not ready to go back. I mean I know I will go back to Sunnydale eventually, but I'm just not ready yet."
"Well, I sure can't drag you back," I said.
"That's true," Buffy said. "And if you even tell them where I am, and they come to see me, I'll see them coming before they'll see me, and I'll be gone."
Nobody said anything for a full minute.
"Mr. Spenser," Buffy said. "Could you talk to my Mom, Giles, even my Dad? Tell them that you found me and that I'm OK, that I'm stable? But don't tell them where you found me?"
I nodded.
"Yeah, I can do that," I said. "But they won't like it."
"I think Giles will understand," Buffy said.
"Giles may, but your mother won't," I said. "Neither will Dawn."