Disclaimer: Last time I checked I was still me, and therefore not J.K. Rowling, which means that I do not own Harry Potter.
A/N: I hope that the wait for this chapter was more bearable than the wait for the last chapter was. And as usual, all of you reviewers are amazing. You never fail to make me feel good, and more confident in my writing. Thank you so much!
anIme-prYncess, southernsweetdevil, steelo, Ginny-W13, SweetSummerSun31, I wish your heart was mine, Chantal J, Sunflower18 – Thank you all very much for the reviews, I hope everyone likes the latest chapter!
Sissified – wow, it's awesome to hear you like my story so much. However I'm afraid I cannot make that promise (not for this chapter anyway ;o) ). I hope you like it!
Lee – I know, it was much too long to wait, sorry 'bout that. The talking is coming soon, so just be patient for a little longer ;o) Thanks for the review!
elektra30 – thank you I'm glad you liked it. lol, the yearbook thing was based on what they did in my school for handing out and signing yearbooks. Although in my school most people got their yearbooks and then left, but if they stayed, there probably would have been mass chaos instead of the minor chaos that there actually was. Anyway, thanks for the review, and I hope you like this chapter!
the mask he wears – hmm, I hadn't thought of that, Hermione probably wouldn't have waited, but I'll just say it was because it was really late, and she was too tired to get up to do anything . . .lol Way to go fight the power! I'm so happy you like my story that much! Thanks so much for the review!
Unknown – Thanks for the review! No worries I would never rush a chapter at the expense of quality, I just had a better idea of what I wanted to do for this chapter than I did for the last one. Anyway, I hope you like this chapter!
Zuvalupa, jesska-14 – aww thanks! I was a bit worried with how everyone would react to the massage, so I'm glad you it was effective. Thanks for the reviews!
Emzgurl – wow! I'm so happy that you liked both my stories so far, thanks a lot for the review!
Sayaku-chan – wow, seriously? That definitely does make me feel good, thank you so much! I'm so happy that you liked it so much (I was like blushing when I read your review, it made me feel so good!) Anyway, I hope you enjoy this chapter away, and thanks again!
sprinkles.over.glass – platypus' are awesome! lol anyway, it's so cool to think that I inspired you to write a fic (even if it's just a small way, it's still cool.) And after I post this chapter, hopefully I'll have some time to read the update to your fic. Thanks for the review!
Now, here is chapter 25!
Chapter 25: Dreamless Sleep
Hermione was still filled with fiery determination when she woke up the next morning. There was only one problem, she didn't know what to do. Draco seemed to have disappeared from the school altogether ever since classes had ended. Hermione assumed that he spent all of his time in the Slytherin common room, and despite the fact that she knew the password, she couldn't very well just go barging in there to talk to him. The thought was laughable, her going in Slytherin territory would be like throwing a mouse into a snake pit, she'd be lucky to some out alive.
But then again, she hadn't seen him actually with any other Slytherins since he returned. Like Dumbledore had told her the night he returned, Draco seemed to have become a complete recluse. And if that were the case, then he probably wouldn't be hanging around his common room either. 'He could spend his time outside,' she suggested to herself. It seemed like a plausible idea, the weather had been decent enough to stay outside all day. It was slightly colder than usual for this time of the year, but certainly not uncomfortably so, and Draco had never been one to mind the cold.
Hermione was sitting in one of the armchairs in the common room pondering her thoughts regarding Draco's whereabouts when Harry's door opened. "Hey," I just got a note from Hagrid inviting the three of us to go down for tea this afternoon, want to go?"
But Harry received no response whatsoever from Hermione. "Hermione?" He raised his voice slightly, but she still didn't respond. Harry then moved closer, crossed his arms and glared at her in a teasing way. It had been quite a while since he had caught Hermione thinking so hard that she was not conscious of her surroundings. And it always seemed that when she got like this there was only one person to blame for it, however Harry was curious as to why she was thinking so deeply about him now for no apparent reason.
He cleared his throat rather loudly and crossed in front of Hermione to sit on the couch, "What are you so focused on today?"
Hermione snapped out of her thoughts when Harry crossed in front of her and tried to stop the telltale blush from sneaking onto her cheeks, "nothing."
Harry snorted and smiled at her, "yeah right! Come on Hermione I know you better than that. The question isn't who you were thinking about, it's why?"
Hermione gaped at Harry, "have I really become that transparent?"
"We're best friends, of course you have. Now, as your best friend, I demand to know what's up."
Hermione rolled her eyes, and smiled back at Harry, "Did you see Draco at the ceremony last night?"
"No, but then again, it's not like I was looking for him either."
"Well I was looking," Hermione blushed a bit at this confession, but continued anyway, "and I still didn't see him."
"He probably just didn't go . . ."
Hermione shook her head as Harry spoke, "that's what I thought at first too. But then I found a hidden message in my yearbook from him.
"Really?" Harry couldn't help but be curious.
"Yeah, he must have written in it at some point when I lost track of it."
"What'd he say?"
Hermione paused; she wasn't sure how to answer. "I'm sorry Harry, but I'd rather not say. It's not like he said anything secret or private or anything, but, I mean he obviously hid it for a reason, so . . . I don't know how to explain."
Harry nodded. He didn't really understand, but then again, this was Malfoy they were talking about, and nothing seemed to make sense involving him. "Alright, I'm guessing whatever he wrote was a good thing at least?"
"Yeah, I think so . . ."
"You think so?" Again, nothing made sense when Malfoy was involved. Harry didn't bother to concern himself with it, he'd rather not be thinking about the ferret anyway. Because no matter what he said to Hermione, he still couldn't stand Malfoy. "Anyway, want to go visit Hagrid's later?"
"Sure, that'd be great." Hermione was thankful that Harry didn't continue to press the subject, she liked the idea that the message was meant just for her, and she wasn't ready to share it with anyone just yet.
But still, now that Harry knew, Hermione decided that it was best to put her plans of searching for Draco off for a while. She didn't want to seem desperate, or pathetic, or get her hopes up for anything. After all, she reminded herself, nothing in Draco's message had suggested that he wanted to get back together. But then again, the fact that he had taken the trouble to write to her suggested otherwise. 'Why does everything have to be so bloody complicated with him!' she asked herself once her thoughts had finally frustrated her enough.
- - - - - -
Later that afternoon, after the trio had visited Hagrid, Hermione found her chance to search for Draco. Ginny was occupied with her boyfriend, Ron was meeting with Luna, and Harry was off to the quidditch pitch so that Dean and Seamus could take turns riding his firebolt. Normally, Hermione would have felt lonely abandoned and possibly jealous with her friends all otherwise occupied, however, today she was thankful that their plans did not include her.
She began her search outdoors by vaguely scanning the grounds. She saw no sign of Draco, but she did spot a few pairs of students in rather embarrassing positions. Under normal circumstances she would have broken them apart and punished them, however today she was in no mood to bother, so instead of interrupting, she merely walked away.
Once she felt that she had adequately searched the grounds, she moved the hunt inside. But once inside, she had no idea where to look. The best bet would be that he was somewhere in the dungeons. She gulped at the thought. Hermione would never admit to it, but she was rather afraid of entering the dungeons alone, unless it was for classes.
She paced about the Entrance Hall in front of the steps descending into the dungeons, doing her best to muster up the courage to go down there. She knew she was being ridiculous, but she couldn't help her nerves. After several long minutes of pacing and encouraging herself, she stopped at the edge of the stairs. She took a deep breath, lifted her foot and . . . at the last second she chickened out. She whipped around with frustration and bashed right into someone so hard that she had to stumble backwards to maintain her balance.
She looked up, and gasped as she felt a blush setting in, "I'm so sorry professor!"
Professor Dumbledore merely smiled at her, with that familiar twinkle in his eye. "No need to be sorry Miss Granger, I often find myself to lost in my own head to see what it going on around me. Were you visiting the dungeons?"
"No," she answered automatically, "I was just er . . . well I was thinking about it but I didn't."
Dumbledore gave her a knowing smile, "am I correct in guessing that you were hoping to find Mr. Malfoy down there?"
Hermione blushed a brilliant shade of red, and found that she could not meet Dumbledore's gentle gaze.
"You know, shortly after Mr. Malfoy returned, he expressed to me his desire to have one place in the castle where he could be guaranteed complete privacy," said Dumbledore with a meaningful gaze.
Hermione furrowed her brow. She could tell that he was trying to give her a hint, but she was completely baffled as to what it was.
Dumbledore smiled. "It's surprising how difficult it is to find assured solitude in such a large place," he mused, looking thoughtfully at the castle surrounding him. "In order to find true privacy one would have to first find a quiet place . . ." Instantly the library flashed though Hermione's mind, with the exception of her room, that was probably the quietest place in the entire castle. "And" continued Dumbledore, "it would have to be a place that almost no one would know about, perhaps a secret room. . ." Dumbledore smiled slightly and his twinkling eyes cast another knowing glance at Hermione.
Still she was utterly perplexed. 'a quiet place and a secret room,' she thought over and over. 'There is no place quieter than the library' she decided stubbornly. But just as the thought crossed her mind, something clicked and Dumbledore's hint suddenly made sense. "Oh!" she realized out loud, "the room in the library where we brewed the potion last year!" Hermione could not believe she hadn't thought of looking there before.
Dumbledore beamed at Hermione, "It's amazing how you are able to figure such things out without anyone's help Miss Granger," he winked at her.
Hermione nodded, this hint she understood. Dumbledore had probably promised Draco that he would not tell anyone where Draco was hiding, "Thank you professor."
"You are most welcome Miss Granger." Dumbledore paused, "there is still a bit of time before dinner. Plenty of time, for instance, to take a little walk through the castle and perhaps had a chat with a friend."
Hermione smiled and blushed, she could not believe that Dumbledore was able to see through everyone so easily. "Thank you professor, I believe I will take that advice."
"Excellent!" Dumbledore clapped his hands together, "well now I must be off, I have some things to discuss with professor Snape." Hermione nodded, and Dumbledore spoke once more before continuing down the stairs, "good luck Miss Granger."
Hermione smiled, "Thanks professor." She watched as professor Dumbledore swept disappeared into the depths of the dungeons, marveling at the quirky old Headmaster, and then she began heading straight for the library.
Now that she was sure that she was going to get to talk to Draco, she found that she had no clue what she was going to say to him. She was so busy trying to work out what to say that she didn't even notice where her feet were taking her. One minute she was watching Dumbledore walk away, the next she was staring at the stacks of books in the library. She approached Madam Pince, the hawk-like librarian and requested a key to the private room, saying that Dumbledore had given her permission.
Madam Pince glared skeptically, but she relinquished the key anyway.
Hermione took the key and crept to the back of the library. It was unusually full due to all the younger years cramming for the last of their exams. But none of them took the slightest notice of Hermione. The closer she tip-toed to the private room, the faster her heart raced. By the time she reached the door, it was pounding with such a force that she was sure it was going to burst through her ribs at any moment. She shivered nervously before raising her hand to knock on the door. She figured that it would be better to give Draco the opportunity to answer before she barged in unannounced.
She knocked and listened hard. But all she could hear was the pounding of her blood in her ears as her heart continued to work in overdrive. Nothing. There was no movement sounding from behind the door. Hermione was terribly disappointed, and indecision plagued her mind. She bit her lip. If she went in, she wasn't sure how he'd react, but at the same time, she couldn't let herself walk away, not now. With mounting trepidation, she slid the key into the lock and turned it. The tiny click sounded terribly loud to Hermione, but all the same she turned the knob and opened the door. 'Here goes nothing' she thought as she stepped inside.
She took a glance around and smiled at what she saw, because it had not been what she had been expecting. She had expected to see Draco surprised at her entrance, and then he would either glare at her angrily, or demand that she leave him alone. But she had not at all been expecting to find Draco sleeping. From a distance he seemed to have bulked up a bit, at least his robes didn't seem to be as baggy as they were the last time she had seen him. She smiled sweetly and stepped closer to look longingly at his peaceful face, but upon closer examination, her sweet smile turned into a concerned frown. Clearly, he was not sleeping soundly at all. His face looked strained, as if he was experiencing something very frightening and or painful. It was then that Hermione realized that he had probably not gotten a decent nights rest since he was put in Azkaban. She wondered exactly what nightmares haunted him in his dreams, what thoughts were robbing him of his precious sleep. She wanted so badly to comfort him. She wanted to hold him and make all the nightmares disappear. She carefully closed the door behind her, and tip-toed over to one of the squashy armchairs. She slid it over to the couch as quietly as she could and then sat down, her gaze still locked on Draco.
Hermione sat and watched him. Besides the fact that his face was pained, and his breathing not entirely relaxed, he seemed to be sleeping alright. But Hermione did not know how long he was going to be sleeping, for all she knew, he could be out for hours. But she had to talk to him, and she didn't want to have to get up the courage to come here again. She looked around, as if something in the room would be able to give her a hint as to what she should do, and what she should say Draco.
On the floor at the side of the couch, she saw Draco's backpack with one pocket slightly open. She snuck a glance at Draco, and then opened the bag. She had decided to write him a note, and was hoping that he had some parchment, ink and quills inside. But as she looked through the books inside she got a better idea. There were three books in Draco's bag, one was his journal, so apparently he had taken to writing in it again, one appeared to be a fictional book, and the third was his yearbook. 'Hmm' she muttered. She hadn't thought that Draco would have wanted to look inside his yearbook, but perhaps she was wrong. She took out the book, and opened the front cover only to find it completely blank. She frowned, and then flipped to the back cover, yet that was completely blank as well. For some reason, that really got her thinking about what life must be like for Draco at the moment. He had murdered his father, and everyone he had considered a close friend was now in Azkaban, well everyone except her. But he didn't have her anymore either. 'He would if he would talk to me' she thought with a tad bit of resentment, but mostly what she felt was pity. She took another glance at him lying on the couch, and then looked through another pocket in his bag for his ink and quill. She unscrewed the top from the ink bottle, and dipped one of Draco's eagle feather quills in it. She touched the quill to the top of the page and began to write. She worded her message very carefully, attempting to mimic his writing style from what she remembered of his message in her yearbook. It took her much longer than it normally would have, but she was happy with the result. Once she was finished with the actual message, she put a spell on it to make it do something similar to what Draco's message had done. In the end, there was a small lion's paw print in the lower corner. She wasn't sure if he'd even notice it, but it was there, and if he didn't find it on his own, she'd find some way to make sure he saw it.
Instead of returning the yearbook to his bag, she put it, on the table, hoping that he would look through it when he awoke. She sat and watched him a bit longer, but he startled her when he started to toss and turn. She was afraid that he would wake up, and now that she had written her note to him, she really felt awkward at the thought of talking to him. But at the same time she didn't want to leave without letting him know she had been there. She quickly rummaged through his bag again for a bit of parchment, and then reloaded his quill with ink to write a quick note. She didn't want to say anything that would reveal how she was feeling, but she wanted him to know that she had been there. Perhaps it would encourage him to talk to her even if he didn't see what she had written in his yearbook, or maybe it would just help him get a decent night's sleep. Draco thrashed and made a pained noise, like a stifled groan, and it caused Hermione to rush through her note without really thinking twice.
Draco,
I stopped by, but you were sleeping. It looks like you could do with some of Madam Pomfrey's dreamless sleep potion. I'm sure Dumbledore would give you permission to take some for a few days at least. Hope you feel better when you wake up, sorry I wasn't there when you did.
Hermione
She didn't even have time to reread it, because it felt like Draco was going to wake up any moment, and she didn't think she would know what to say or how to act when he did. But still, it pained her to leave while he was thrashing about on the couch. So with a heavy sigh, she silently got up and exited the room. It took a lot of effort not to turn around and shake him awake, to remove him from whatever nightmare that was haunting him. With a click, the door closed behind her, and with great difficulty, she locked the door. She pocketed the key once she was back in the library, just so she didn't have to ask Madam Pince for it again if she needed it. She was surprised that she was getting so emotional, but she could feel her eyes beginning to well up, the tears threatening to spill over if she allowed them to. She leaned against the door, lifted her head up and blinked several times to prevent the salty tears from escaping. She took a few deep breaths, and then made her way through the library.
- - - - - -
Draco remained tossing and turning on the couch a good ten minutes after Hermione locked the door behind her. But finally, after one particularly violent jerk, he startled himself awake. His face was covered in a film of cold sweat and he was breathing hard. He ran his hands through his hair, and then turned so that he was sitting on the couch with his head in his hands. He had had that nightmare again. It was the same nightmare he had had every night since he had been caught, the night he broke free from the imperius curse. Sometimes it was clearer than others, at the best times, his heart only sped up a little, and he just saw flashes of light. But on the worst, he could see everything as crystal clear as if he was experiencing it all over again. Only, in his dreams, he could see himself, and he could see her. The fear and sadness in her face was unmistakable in his nightmare, as was the fear in his eyes, he thought he was going to die, and he thought she was going to die as well.
Today had been one of the worst nightmares he'd had since he had been freed from Azkaban. But today had been different, he had felt a presence, it was almost as if she had really been in his dream rather than just an image of her. It was rather disturbing.
After a few minutes where he managed to regain control of his breathing and heart rate, he leaned his head back, and closed his eyes so that he was facing the ceiling. He couldn't continue like this, he was going crazy. He hated it here in this school, surrounded by so many pathetic students who were worrying about the most trivial things in the world as if they were really important. He didn't understand why professor Dumbledore hadn't allowed him to go home after the N.E.W.T.s had finished. What was the purpose of making him stay? It's not like he went anywhere other than the dormitory, the Great Hall, and this room, and he didn't even go to the Great Hall during the busy times. He never spoke to anyone, so what was the point? He was going to be miserable no matter where he was. But at least in the Manor he could escape the thoughts of her. That was what he tried to make himself believe anyway. At least there he wouldn't be reminded of her every time he glanced over at the Gryffindor table in the Great Hall, or every time he stepped into the solitude of the private room he was now occupying. But even in his frustration he knew that he would never be able to escape the thought of her, or of that night, for it would always haunt him in his sleep. He feared it would haunt him forever, and he couldn't bear that thought.
He groaned, and he felt a definite gurgle in his stomach. He had skipped both breakfast and lunch, and he wasn't sure he could hold out until everyone else left the Great Hall to get dinner. He reprimanded himself for being so stupid and skipping the earlier meals, he did not want to be around all the happy excitement that the majority of the student body had been contaminated with lately. He finally opened his eyes, and sat normally. Instantly he noticed something, there was a scrap of parchment laying on the table next to his yearbook. He couldn't recall leaving his yearbook out, but he couldn't recall much of anything anymore, so it didn't strike him as overly odd. With a wary gaze and furrowed brow, he cautiously picked up the parchment. He really did not like the thought that someone had been in here while he was asleep, no one was supposed to know he was here except for Dumbledore. Hell, no one was even supposed to know about this place at all!
He read the note. It seemed to have been written in a hurry, but still there was no mistaking her tiny handwriting, plus she had signed it. So she had been there. She had seen him sleeping, and it had been obvious to her that he was not having pleasant dreams. He could not decide whether he liked the thought of her seeking him out or not. He couldn't gather much from her note as to her purpose for being there. What could she possibly want to say to him? Why on earth would she want to talk to him? After all she had been through with him; he would have thought she would have wanted nothing more to do with him, ever. But he should have known not to underestimate Hermione's tenacity and stubbornness by now. If he were completely honest with himself, he would admit that he would love to talk to her again. To know what she was thinking, to know if she could ever forgive him. Subconsciously, his right hand touched his left forearm, the spot where his Dark Mark still existed, as blood-red and ugly as ever. Despair flooded through him. No, how could she ever forgive him as long as that was still there? It would always be there, and there was nothing he could do about it. Every day he saw it, it only served to remind him of the horrors of that night. How could she ever forgive him, when he couldn't even forgive himself?
Still, her note did bring a tiny flicker of hope to him. He had been so busy wallowing in his own pain that he never once considered asking for the dreamless sleep potion. He folded Hermione's note and dropped it into his pocket. He stood, deciding that he'd first ask Madam Pomfrey for the potion, and then he'd go to the Great Hall and fill his ravenous stomach.
The Hospital Wing was relatively close to the Great Hall, so he could hear the loud chatter of hundreds of voices as he walked through the halls. The sound made him sick. With a sneer, he opened the door, and stepped inside. The noise was thankfully cut down to a low mumble as soon as the door closed. Madam Pomfrey heard the sound of her door opening and closing and she poked her head out of her office. She hurriedly bustled to Draco when she saw him, "Mr. Malfoy, is there a problem?"
"Yes, I haven't been sleeping well, and I was wondering if I might be able to have a few doses of your dreamless sleep potion to take before I go to sleep at night," answered Draco monotonously.
Madam Pomfrey pursed her lips, "I shall have to ask professor Dumbledore what he thinks, it is not a potion I prefer to hand out to students without good reason."
Draco made no response. The medi-witch returned to her office, and after a moment, bustled back in. She went over to a cabinet, unlocked it and took out what Draco presumed to be the dreamless sleep potion. She filled a few small glass beakers with the liquid, and then brought them to Draco. She handed them to him with an expression that clearly indicated that she thought giving the potion to him was a very bad idea. He took them, there were five in all, he moved them to the pockets of his robes.
"Now," ordered Madam Pomfrey, "You are to take one of these per night right before you go to sleep. Only take it if you feel you really need it because I will not be giving you any more for at least a week, and only take one per day because if you take any more, there is a danger that you could fall into a coma. Is that understood?"
Draco nodded. Though the thought of being in a coma was almost welcome in his mind at the moment, he decided that he would see how he felt in the morning after taking one of them, then he'd decide if he wanted to risk the coma by taking them all at once if he felt no better. He turned and exited the room; once again the rush of loud cheery voices consumed him upon entering the hall. He couldn't deal with that many people at the moment, no matter how hungry he was, so instead of heading towards the Great Hall, he turned the other direction back to the library. He walked unusually slow hoping that by the time he returned to the Great Hall, most of the other students will have left.
- - - - - -
"Hermione!" called Harry when Hermione entered the Great Hall and sat down next to her friends. "Where were you before, we were looking everywhere!"
"Yeah," agreed Ginny, "and don't tell us you were studying cause you have nothing to study for anymore!"
Hermione smiled and let out a hollow laugh. "I was just taking a walk around the school. I can't believe that our final year is almost over." She said sadly. In truth, she really was upset about leaving school at the end of the month, so it wasn't really a lie . . . at least that's what she told herself.
"Aww, Hermione," Harry said comfortingly, "that's why you should just spend the rest of the month enjoying yourself with the rest of us. So we can make this last couple weeks the best!"
"Yeah," agreed Ron, "then think about all the stuff we're going to do once we graduate and have jobs and stuff."
The thought of having a job, made Hermione gulp. She had no doubt that she would succeed, but still, it was completely new to her and she was nervous. She had a far-off look in her eye and a melancholy expression on her face. She really didn't want to think about leaving school, at the moment mostly because she felt that if things remained as they presently were, then she may never get to speak to Draco again.
"Can we talk about something else?" pleaded Ginny, "I don't want to think about what I'm going to do next year without you guys here!"
"Aww Ginny!" said Hermione, giving her friend a hug, "I'm sure you'll be alright."
There was a long pause between the four of them, until Ron finally broke the silence. "So what do you guys want to do tonight?" he asked.
"Well I still have studying to do," said Ginny enviously.
"Ok, so what do you two want to do?" repeated Ron to Harry and Hermione.
Hermione shrugged, her attention still was not entirely focused on what was going on in the Great Hall. In the background of her thoughts she heard Harry and Ron discussing idea for things to do that night, but she wasn't listening to what they were saying. The worst part was that she couldn't even focus her thoughts on one particular thing. Her worry about what she was going to do after school, her sadness about leaving Hogwarts, all her different thoughts concerning Draco, were all swirling ceaselessly within her head like memories in a pensieve.
After a while, in which Hermione had apparently eaten her dinner, though she couldn't even remember what she had, Ginny had left to continue studying for exams. Around her, the younger years had all been steadily and reluctantly trickling out to resume studying. Many of the seventh years however remained chatting with one another, enjoying their leisure time. "What do you think Hermione?"
"Huh? What?" she snapped her attention to Harry and Ron.
The two boys laughed, "You coming to Hagrid's with us after dinner?"
"Oh yeah, that's a great idea," she agreed.
"Excellent," said Ron with a smile, "we'll leave after desert."
Hermione was stunned at the amount of food boys could eat. They had both eaten full meals, and now they were piling their plates with desert foods. She wrinkled he nose distastefully, and laughed at her best friends. She was just sitting and watching them eat when in the background, she saw one of the doors of the Great Hall open. Her eyes went wide as she saw Draco enter. It had been so long since she'd seen him in the main part of the school that she had convinced herself he had been getting meals delivered to him separately by the house-elves. Yet there he was, he was too far away to get a good look at, but he wasn't walking with the confident swagger she remembered at all, yet at least he was awake. She watched him as he walked over to the Slytherin table, he didn't look around at all. He took a seat at the end, on the side facing the Gryffindor table, and dropped his backpack at his side. But he didn't look up towards the Gryffindors; instead he held his head down toward his food the entire time.
Hermione tried her best not to stare, but she was curious, had he seen her message in his yearbook? Would he talk to her? What was he thinking? These and dozens of other questions popped into her mind as she watched him. But if he felt her eyes on him, he did not acknowledge them, which disappointed her. She felt like he was ignoring her existence, it wasn't fair for him to be treating her this way when all she wanted to do was to talk to him, and see if there was still anything between them. 'Don't be angry with him Hermione,' she cautioned herself. 'You have no idea what he's been through since he was arrested.'
'Well I would if he would just talk to me!' another part of her mind argued.
She sighed with frustration, she hated having these internal debates with herself, they always left her so confused. "Hermione, everything ok?" asked Harry, looking at her with raised eyebrows.
"Yeah, I'm fine," she mumbled unconvincingly, "you guys ready to go?" She suddenly found herself eager to be anywhere but there.
Harry snuck a glance to where Hermione had been looking, and then he nodded, "yeah, we can go." He understood that she wanted to get away from the sight of Malfoy, although he couldn't understand why. He knew that she still liked him, but he seemed to be completely unreachable, like he might as well have been on an entirely different planet. "Come on Ron," urged Harry, "let's go see Hagrid."
"Alright," he agreed with his mouth full, having completely missed the unspoken understanding that had passed between Harry and Hermione.
Hermione smiled thankfully and the trio walked out of the Great Hall.
- - - - - -
Draco had indeed felt Hermione's eyes watching him from the moment he entered the Great Hall. But he couldn't trust himself to look at her. He was afraid that if he did so, he'd never be able to look away. So he had forced his head down the entire time, until he had heard them getting up to leave. Then he had raised his head. He watched her and her two friends exiting, and as he did so a nearly irrepressible urge of longing swept over him. He wanted so badly to talk to her, but he did not know what to say. He wanted so much to be with her, but he didn't know if she felt the same. He had allowed some of his emotions to break through their barrier when he had written in her yearbook, yet he couldn't even be certain that she had seen it. He dropped his fork to his plate with a clang; he rested his elbows on the table and held his head in his hands.
Up at the professors table, a certain Headmaster watched the young Slytherin with interest. He had seen the look in his eyes when he watched the Gryffindors leave. He reasoned that Hermione had not actually gotten to speak with him. Judging by the fact that he had gone to Madam Pomfrey for sleep potion, he figured that he must have been asleep when the Head Girl had gone to see him.
It was difficult for him sometimes to watch the world of his students going on without interfering. He rarely found himself concerned with the love lives of any of his students. But then again, every once and a while a couple would come along that he found himself interested in. Hermione and Draco had been one of those couples because their relationship had always seemed so impossible. A Gryffindor and a Slytherin, a muggle-born, who was determined to help rid the world of Dark wizards, and a pure-blood who was destined from birth to be a Death Eater. Even Dumbledore in all his optimistic glory would never have believed it possible.
It was painfully obvious to the Headmaster that the two still wanted to be together, yet something was stopping them both. Clearly they were wary of each other. Every time they got close, something would happen to tear them apart. But now the cause of all their past problems, the one responsible for all their pain was dead. They should be together. Dumbledore was sure of that, but it seemed as if they would have to figure it out for themselves, and he would have to leave them alone. It was hard, but in this case, it had to be done.
Draco only stayed in the Great Hall long enough to finish a small dinner. He could now feel another set of eyes on him coming from the professors table, and he had a pretty good idea who they belonged to. But he didn't look up to check, he still couldn't believe he had allowed the crazy old man to convince him to return to Hogwarts. But then again, he had been in such a zombie-like state ever since his name was cleared that he supposed he could have been convinced to do just about anything.
Draco exited the Great Hall, and went straight down the stairs to the dungeon. He said the password to the Slytherin common room, and walked inside. No one looked up when he entered. Thankfully, in Draco's opinion, his housemates had chosen to ignore him ever since he returned. He couldn't determine whether it was out of disappointment in the once Slytherin Prince, or if it was out of fear. Yet he found that he didn't care, the less attention they paid him, the better. He made his way up to the seventh year boys dormitory, which was now nearly empty since Zabini, Crabbe and Goyle were in Azkaban. Even so, Draco closed the bed hangings all around him. He changed out of his robes and took one of the glass bottles out of his backpack. He downed the dreamless sleep potion in one gulp, and almost instantly he felt the relief of complete relaxation sweeping through him. He lay back on his pillows and closed his eyes. For the first time he could remember, he fell into a state of complete relaxation, a completely dreamless sleep.
As always, I hope you enjoyed this chapter. I have the next chapter just about finished, so hopefully the next update will be quick (unless other responsibilities get in the way). Anyway, I look forward you your comments, so please send a review! Thanks a bunch!