Title: Heal My Wounds

Written by: Half Okami Half Kitsune

Summary: As a child, when Pippin would fall: Merry would be there to dry his tears and bandage his wounds. But when Pippin discovers a horrible secret about Merry that threatens Merry's life, can he help his friend through?

Genre: Angst, Romance,

Rated: R

Warnings: Violence, slash, language, and sadness

Spoilers: none

Pairings: Merry And Pippin (IF YOU DON'T LIKE DON'T READ!!!)

Disclaimer: I do not own LOTR

Dedicated to:

Chapter: 1. Fall, and I will help you.

Notes: I know nothing about Merry's father in the book or anywhere, and if anyone knows about his personality or whatever…I'm sorry he so OOC…(I guess)

A fourteen-year-old Pippin skipped down the hill home from his cousin Frodo's house, still as hyper as when he showed up. Twenty-two-year-old Merry was still talking to his cousin Frodo as they walked out behind the exited Hobbit, whom was now jumping up and down with excitement. "I gotta get home Merry, mom don't know that I went to Mr. Frodo's house."

"Pip, the correct title is 'Uncle Bilbo's house'" Merry laughed, but said this only in front of Frodo because he knew that his laid-back cousin didn't mind any, and wasn't offended in any way. Merry heard Pip begin to protest, but Merry just rolled his eyes at Frodo, this always happened with this argument.

Merry said that the land was rightfully owned by Mr. Bilbo, so it was technically 'Uncle Bilbo's house'; Pippin always disagreed on the issue, that it was 'Frodo's House', though he didn't have a logical argument to back it up. Merry always let Pip win, just so he could watch Pippin's show-off victory dance; it was so cute. Pippin would smile so big that Merry suspected that he would break his jaw.

"Alright, alright Pip. Calm down, that's enough, you win." Merry smiled, as he picked a xanthic colored flower and sniffed it gently.

"I'd watch picking the flowers in uncle Bilbo's garden if I were you…Sam might come and smack your hands." Frodo smiled, "speaking of which, help me get my bags, will you? I'm staying at Sam's tonight while Uncle Bilbo is busy writing his book. He needs tranquility."

Merry and Pippin each picked up a bag, "How hard could it possibly be to write a book?" Pippin laughed, "hey Merry, I'll race you down the hill!!"

"Nah…let's just help Frodo get his bags…"

"Aw, come on!! Quit being scared Merry!!" Pippin smiled as he tugged on Merry's tunic, when Merry didn't respond, Pippin began to run down the hill, beginning with a bounce in his heels. "I'll meet you at Sam's place, slowpokes!!"

Merry just shrugged and began down the hill slowly, Frodo following behind. Pippin's laugh echoed through Bag Shot row, as he shot ahead of everyone else.

Suddenly, he tripped over a rusty pipe sticking out of the ground, he slit his kneecaps and busted his left knee on it violently as a giant cracking noise rang out. He let out a scream as he hit the ground and slid down the hill, cutting his legs on scattered and broken glass.

His screams died as he looked down at his legs, his face turned pale and he passed out, falling to the ground and causing dust to rise.

Merry looked away from chatting with Frodo vividly as he seen Pippin lying on the ground. He let out a yell and ran as fast as his feet could carry him down the hill, to Pippin's side. "Pippin! Oh my god!! Pippin!!" he fell to his knees by Pippin's side and lifted Pippin's head from the ground. "Come on Pip…please open your eyes-get up-say something!!"

He looked back at Frodo desperately and looked back down at Pippin. "I gotcha Pip." He mumbled as he lifted the hobbit from the ground, putting his hand gently on the back of his head and making sure his head didn't fall, he began to make his way towards the nearest river that ran through Hobbiton.

Frodo trotted cautiously behind Merry, "What can I do to help?"

Merry stopped, his eyes scanning his thoughts. "Do you have any hot water?"

Frodo nervously looked at Pippin's wounds, he was a bit squeamish, and he had to force himself to snap out of his trance. "Uh…not right away I'm afraid-"

Merry cursed under his breath, and then looked down to Pippin once more. "Go get some." He growled under his breath at Frodo, absent-mindedly brushing a strand of curl from Pippin's sweat caked face. "Almost to a boil…"

Frodo nodded almost in a solider type manner as he turned without looking back to the house, obviously bent on getting the water as fast as possible. Merry instantly turned his attention to the river.

Stopping at the river's edge, Merry fell to his knees, and lying Pippin down on the edge, he used his hands to cup water out of the river. He let the cool water run out of his fingers slowly and onto Pippin's face, trying to hold back his already suppressed tears.

Pippin stirred and opened his eyes after a prolonged moment, much to Merry's relief.

Pippin instantly began to feel the pain just as Merry was about to sigh. Pippin sat up, and winced as he reached for his own legs on instinctive motion to stop the pain; Merry grabbed his hands gently but sternly and put them back at Pippin's side again. "It hurts so much-" Pippin began to cry as Merry began to very consciously pull the glass from his knees.

"I know, I know…" Merry shoved away the thought of Pippin's pain and went back to pulling the glass out. He stopped as his face turned white, "Pip, it may be infected, we may have to get Bilbo or the Gaffer to help us this time…"

"No Merry, don't do that-" Pippin said through prolonged breathes, "mom don't know I'm here…she'll find out about…us, Merry…" he grimaced as he tried to move his legs. "I don't want that Merry…god she'd-"

"Settle down Pip…" Merry put his hands on Pippin's chest and pushed him back enough that he didn't try to move his legs. He began to use water from the river to clean the blood and get an idea of the severity of the wounds. "Besides, your mom's not too unreasonable…she'd except you after about a fortnight. It'd take no longer than that for a sweet lady like aunty Eglantine to become accustomed to the idea."

"I suppose you're right…" At that, he tried to clam down, exhaling deeply and staring at the sky, biting his lower lip and closing his eyes tightly, trying not to cry.

Frodo returned with the water, almost dropping both buckets of steaming water, he set them down beside Merry. After catching his breath, he looked back down at Merry. "What's that for anyway? What good's it going to do?"

Merry didn't answer, he stared at his reflection with hesitation in his eyes, and he bit his bottom lip in nervousness. He rested his fingers on the side of the bucket as he closed his eyes lightly, "I thought it may come to this if you didn't want to get Bilbo…" Merry mumbled to himself as he looked down at Pippin. He gripped the side of the bucket more tightly, as he shut his eyes tightly, "for you Pip…" he whispered hoarsely as he shot both his hands into the nearly boiled water; letting out a mournful cry all in one motion.

Frodo winced in sympathy for Merry, as he himself knew how hot the water was, and now realizing what it was for, he began to envy Pippin and Merry's friendship. Merry removed his red hands from the bucket, opening his eyes and using the sleeves of his shirt to wipe the tears from his eyes. His hands had been shaking from the pain as he breathed heavily; he looked down at Pippin in love as he saw the emerald-eyed boy stare back at him in worry.

Merry smiled a pained smile at Pippin, "At least you won't get an infection…" he said as if trying to justify his pain in the eyes of someone who cared for him more than he valued his own life.

"You shouldn't have done that…" Pippin beamed sternly, though he was in no position to act like Merry should fear his consequence if he were to disobey. Though, in retrospect, the only punishment that Pippin could serve on Merry was to tell him was 'I'm not going to kiss you ever again' but, before one day could pass without lip-lock, Merry apologized and no body had any regrets.

Frodo just looked on as if he were seeing a play, admiring the hero, and feeling sympathy for the victim. He snapped out of his trance when Merry looked up to him, "You may go to Sam's now, cousin Frodo."

"But Meriadoc…" Frodo looked back and fourth from Sam's house, then down to Pippin. "What about you and-"

"Me and Pip will be just fine. Now, the sun is setting and poor Sam's still a waiting for you to come running up that hill." Frodo began to protest against this, but then realized he had nothing. "Me and Pippin shall be just fine."

"But how will you two precede on home?"

Merry shook his head solemnly, and after much hesitation, he looked down at Pippin. "We probably won't be making it home…" and like the single beat of a large drum in Merry's ears, reality hit him like a hurricane.

What if- his father, his mother, -oh, no, -Pippin's father, and Pippin's mother-what if they found out?! If Merry and Pippin didn't come home, they would surely know that they had left Brandy hall. And there had been rumors before. But this, this, would be clarifying their suspicions.

With a smitten purpose, Merry had come to get Pippin today to take him to Brandy Hall, aunty Eglantine had already been hesitant, but now, now, she would be tearing her hair out.

And Merry's father…god, he had threatened Merry many times over that if those goddamn rumors were true-…he never finished. He would never finish the threat; but Merry didn't doubt it even in the slightest. He had no problem believing that Saradoc would carry out a punishment that is of such anguish that it is at a lack of words in itself. No, Merry was neither blind nor ignorant; Merry knew his father well.

But a small hope dwindled in Pippin's eyes, making Merry feel better instantly. But not too much where it was to the point of ignorant bliss-just a calming effect. Merry still felt the knot well up inside his stomach when he thought of returning home the next morning. Him returning Pippin to the thain's home, and uncle Paladin knowing of their late night absence, then seeing the wounds on Pippin-god…

Why would he rape Pippin?! I mean…even if they did do something major-which of course they didn't…why the hell would he rape his boy?! He didn't need to rape Pippin anyway. If they both really wanted to-then Pippin would be willing. And of course, Merry would be a courteous lover. He always was. Even when he used to bed the girls of Buckland to please his father and mother. And of course, those relationships didn't matter a bit to him. They were over before they even began.

Frodo was now completely turned the other way, looking towards Sam's house. He looked back at him and Pippin in reluctance, and then slowly began to trot his way up the hill. He looked back, looking desperate. "Take care of Pippin. Ere I have to tell Sam that he can wait all night…"

"I will…don't worry about that." Merry sighed, and smiled down at Pippin as they both watched Frodo hike his way to Sam's smiling face in the distance.

Merry sighed, his heartbeat slowly returning to normal. There was a piece of glass sticking out of Pippin's ankle, it looked very close to the bone, and very deep; this would be Merry's next project. Merry regretted the very moment that he had to put Pippin back into a whirl of pain, but this had to come out, absolutely had to. "I'm gonna pull that piece of glass out, okay hun?"

Pippin looked at Merry with glassy eyes, "uh-huh…" he finally said in reluctance. Merry shook his head in anguish, though his actions were opposite than his thoughts.

"On three, okay baby?"

Pippin shook his head slightly, his eyes wide with fear. His breath shook his delicate frame; his heart was beating so hard that it hurt. "K-kay" He exhaled deeply, and had to fight to regain breath.

"One…" he took a deep breath in and gripped the piece of glass carefully, his perspiration-covered hands slid on the glass and he had to regain grip and clutch it tighter. Merry knew an old trick to reduce the chance of a flinch, but he didn't want to pull anything to cause his baby to be mad at him. Damn, he didn't know what to do, but either way, he was getting off beat, and he was forcing Pippin to suffer longer by prolonging the climax.

"Two!!" Merry instantly pulled it before he got to three; actually, it was in the midst of the word 'two'

Pippin shrieked, instantly, his hands shot out and held his hands over the wound that was now gushing blood out of his leg. Blood seeped from the wound through Pippin's hands, it sliding down the creases of his skin in his wrists like streams of blood in a nightmare.

"Don't do that! You're hands are unclean!!" He grabbed Pippin's hands and jerked them away from Pippin and towards his own face. Pippin titled his head up and looked at Merry; he had tears running down his cheeks. "P-pip…" Merry sighed, and kissed Peregrin's forehead thoughtfully.

Merry finished with getting out the larger glass successfully and began to wash the wounds with water; the blood seemed to just keep on coming. Merry cursed silently, so not to upset Pippin's fragile feelings.

When the outlines of the wounds could be made out, Merry realized that he had about ten separate and yet intersecting deep gashes in both legs. The blood tickled down outside the gashes, as Merry tried to remove the small glass pieces without hurting Pippin too badly; even in his persistence he didn't prevail. With Pippin's tears now lying heavily on his heart, Merry had to stop the process of removing the glass, and take time to catch his own breath.

Pippin stared up at Merry in shock of how effected Merry seemed to be by his own crying. It was as though his tears were discreetly extracting Merry's tears from his own heart. "Merry…?"

"Y-yes…p-pip?" He stammered through his wisps of breath, then taking time to look down at Pippin's slightly less pained face.

"I love you…and…w-when mom and dad finds out…" Pippin hesitated slightly, and then he looked around almost as if to make sure that no one way there. "I'll tell 'em to go fuck themselves" Pippin whispered, his eyes darting around, almost as if expecting to turn around and see his parents grounding him for cussing; it was an old habit that children developed.

Merry giggled, causing Pippin to raise an eyebrow; he just didn't know how damn cute he looked right now! Little scared voice, sneaking around with a little cuss word, and although no one was there; he thought he had gotten away with some badass move.

"What's so funny?"

"Never mind Pip…" Merry snickered, ruffling his little cousin's hair.

"Hey…Merry?"

"Yes, Pip?"

Pippin hesitated, and looked up towards the setting sun. Swirls of red and orange mixed into a vast hybrid color, spread although-out the sky. It looked so beautiful. "Will you sing me a song, Merry?" He mumbled, mortified, as his eyes never left the setting sun.

Merry was quite blown back by Pippin's forwardness, but by Pippin's red face he could tell that he was quite serious. But he sighed, looking in the direction in which Pippin was staring. The sun was setting quite quickly, and if they didn't find a roof over their head quickly, night would dawn on them. "I…uh…" Merry knew the severity of finding a shelter quickly, but he couldn't just come out and say 'no' to the hopeful eyes of the young Took.

"Please don't say 'No', Merry…" Pippin choked on his own words as he begged his cousin, reaching out and grabbing the only thing he could reach, Merry's pinky. His whole hand clasped around the pinky as his emerald eyes gleamed and burned the very fabrics of Merry's heart. He felt so bad that he had even considered telling him no.

"We're going to have to wait…" he saw Pippin's face fall, " just until we find somewhere to stay for the night…" Merry saved himself. Pippin still didn't look too pleased to have to wait, but his looking as almost in tears had gone safely away.

"Where do you think-"

"I don't know…"

…Pippin looked around, he couldn't see anywhere that seemed empty, but he had and hankering for ale and a pipe right now. Suddenly he got an idea. "The Green Dragon…"

"Pip, you know how populated-"

Pippin's eyes seemed to fade off into the distance, as if he was contemplating just how ingenious his location was. "It's Sunday…"

"And-wait, what?"

"It's Sunday…The Green Dragon is-"

"Is closed…. Pippin! You're a Genius!! It's closed, Pippin!!" His smile grew widely, "and tomorrow is the birthday of the owner, and it's closed once more!! We'll have one more day to stay there…" He lunged himself at Pippin and embraced him in a hug, Pippin winced and a deep little whine came from his throat.

Merry slowly backed off him to see that he had been leaning slightly on Pippin's leg. He fell backwards quickly, "Oh, my god Pip-I'm so sorry!!"

Pippin's happy go lucky smile returned, "Its quite okay, Merry…let's just get a move on to the Green Dragon."

"Ere we go that way…I best bandage your wounds…" He said as though they weren't lacking in supplies. Merry noticed that as a preparation, he began to carefully unbutton his shirt. As he finished, he slowly slipped it off his shoulders and held it in one hand.

As a top, he had only been wearing a thin, crisp, white shirt with single button sleeves and buttons all the way down the chest. It looked extremely expensive and Merry had looked like he had been avoiding getting it dirty, and he was probably taking it off to avoid getting it bloody. "Lift your right leg…"

Pippin blushed, "But what about your shirt-you've not wanted to get it dirty…"

Merry raised an eyebrow and looked at the shirt in his hands curiously, "I've only been keeping this clean to bandage your wounds…"

"Huh?" Pippin sounded like he was half letting out breath, and half about in utter confusion as if his whole life's train of thought had just been proved wrong in a period of five seconds.

Merry laughed, and then frowned at his shirt in a kind of hate, and simultaneously tore the shirt in half almost as if in a rage. "I don't care about this shirt…" He smiled at Pippin's bewildered face. He began to bandage Pippin's leg, wrapping it under his leg and tying it on the top until taut. The white material instantly began to soak up the crimson thick gush coming from Pippin's leg.

As Pippin still sat in an utter loss of words, Merry looked over at him in worry. "Does it feel any better at all, Pip?" Merry asked. But Pippin noticed why he had thrown in the words any, and at all; it was his way of subconsciously saying 'he will say yes if I just leave some room for "ifs" on the question.'

Pippin reluctantly nodded, still looking at the pieces of the ripped, expensive shirt, which Merry was paying no attention to. But the sight of Merry's now slightly-smiling face snapped him out of his trance, "Well, now that that has been said...let us get a move on to the Green Dragon, shall we?"

And for the first time since he had tripped and fallen that evening, Pippin smiled, an honest-to-god joyous smile. "Yes." Pippin giggled as he said this aloud. And then to himself, "I can't wait to spend the night in your arms…"

End of chapter 1. Sorry!!! I love cliffies!!! But if I get a lot of good reviews on this, I'll be quick to post!!