The Story of Cindy the Terrible
Of all the queens at the Jellicle junkyard, there was no one as beautiful as Demeter. This was something that all toms agreed on, especially Munkustrap. Demeter's fur was a deep golden, which changed into auburn and bronze in some places. If you squinted and looked at her with your head tilted just a little bit, her fur seemed as colourful as the trees at autumn. Or maybe a sunset. Yeah, a sunset sounds better. Forget about the autumn trees.
Anyway. Demeter's eyes were brilliant green gems that often sparkled, whether it be in merriment or in sorrow. She always moved gracefully and with great elegance.
But even though Demeter was so beautiful, the other Jellicle queens were not in the least bit jealous. For Demeter was not only stunningly gorgeous with eyes like jewels and fur shimmering of a thousand colours, she was also incredibly nice. And caring. And generous. And modest.
In short: Demeter was absolutely bloody perfect. All the toms of the tribe adored the ground she nanced... sorry, walked on, and the queens worshiped her. There were even rumours that Etcetera had abandoned her shrine to the Rum Tum Tugger and started to build one for Demeter. She was just that darn special, see?
In any case, one day when our heroine was out with her feline friends at the junkyard, a very nasty cat named Macavity came by. He took one look at Demeter and her stunning beauty, and he fell madly in love with her. So, in a sudden burst of in character-ness, Macavity rushed into the junkyard, snatched Demeter from her favourite sun-bathing place on the hood of a rusty car, and was gone before the rest of the Jellicles could say: "Well, oh bother."
Macavity brought Demeter to his lair. He fell to his knees, even though he was a cat and his legs shouldn't bend that way, and he begged her to be his mate forever and always.
"I'll be a good tom!" he cried out. "I'll help old queens cross the road! I will be nice to kittens! I will go to Munkustrap and accept my punishment for being such a naughty, naughty cat!"
Demeter, seeing that the ginger cat did have something good inside him after all, accepted this. She conveniently enough also decided that her Jellicle friends were all a bunch of suckers really, and she happily resided with her darling Mac for many years without missing them even for one second. She even bore him an heir, a beautiful daughter that he named Cinderella Wilhelmina Anna Bandanna. She was most often just called Cindy, but since her father decided to raise her to be EVUL, he also called her Cindy the Terrible.
Cindy grew up to be gorgeous, just like her mother. In fact, she looked exactly like her mother, with the sunset fur and the emerald eyes and all that jazz.
And it is now, when Cindy the Terrible is the feline equivalent of seventeen, that our story finally begins.
"I am so intrigued."
"Pipe down, Gecks. I can't see anything."
"Be thankful for that, sis."
Macavity paced up and down outside the bathroom. Once in a while he stopped and pounded the still extremely locked door.
"Cindy!" he bellowed after a while. "Cindy, now you're opening this door!" His voice grew pleading. "Please?" he asked.
"Just a minute, daddy!" came the voice from the other side. "I'm painting my claws!"
Macavity groaned. When he had decided to get an heir, he hadn't taken this into account. Heirs grew up, and they became teenagers. When your heir was an incredibly vain girl, you were in trouble. He continued pacing.
Fifteen minutes later, just when the Mystery Cat thought he was going to explode and considered running outside, the door opened, and his beautiful daughter stood there, smiling sweetly at him. Macavity immediately melted. He had never been able to resist his baby girl.
"All yours, daddy," Cindy chirped.
Macavity ran into the bathroom. Thank the Everlasting Cat! Cindy looked at him in surprise, and then she shrugged. She took a look in the mirror that hanged on the wall beside her. Ah, yes. She looked absolutely stunning, of course. Her claws glimmered in blood red, round her neck glittered a diamond necklace stolen especially for her, and the satin green bow behind her ear went perfectly well with the emerald of her eyes.
But still, despite her beauty, Cindy felt sad. She knew that she was Chosen to be a leader after her father, and she didn't want to. She did love her father, oh yes, more than she could ever say, but she didn't want to be evil. She didn't think she'd be able to do it.
Cindy went to find her mother. She had to talk to somebody about this.
Demeter had her own room in Macavity's mansion (yes, mansion), which she had been living in since she decided to stay with Macavity. She sat admiring herself in the mirror, but she looked up and smiled when her daughter entered the room.
"Hello, sweetheart," she said. "How are you?"
"I'm good, mother," said Cindy and sat down on the bed. She felt a little sad, but she didn't know why.
Demeter frowned and walked up to her. "You don't look too good."
"It's just..." Cindy paused and sighed. "Never mind."
"You can tell me, my darling. I am your mother."
"Well." Cindy curled up in the bed and started her lament. "Oh mother, I'm not sure that this is what I want!"
"What do you mean, my dearest darling?"
"This!" Cindy waved her paw around vaguely. "All this! I don't want to live in this mansion, far away from everything and everyone. I want... I want to leave! See knew things, meet new people, and I don't want to be the heir of Macavity!"
Her eyes filled with tears. Demeter shook her head.
"Oh, I understand your doubt," she said. "It was the same with me. But you have to know, my dear, that sometimes we cannot decide for ourselves what to do with our lives. Duty is a terrible thing."
"Well, I won't stand for it!"
In a sudden fit of rage, Cindy stood up. Her eyes sparkled with fury. She looked very much like her father when he was throwing a tantrum.
"I will leave!" she proclaimed dramatically. "I will not stay here, where my life is decided for me and I cannot do what I want!"
Demeter's eyes widened in sudden terror. "Oh no, my darling! Your father would be most crossed!"
"I don't care! He would never hurt me. I am his most beloved heir, and my powers are far vaster than his. I could defeat him with one paw tied behind my back, and he knows it! He would not dare to even ruffle up my perfect fur!"
There was a low sound, like someone trying to hold in laughter and failing miserably, but Cindy was busy with her righteous anger and paid it no heed.
"Yes!" she continued, waving her paws in the air as she spoke. "I shall leave! Do not try to stop me, mother! I must go and fulfil my destiny and stuff!"
Demeter looked sad. Her emerald orbs filled with tears, and soon she sobbed tragically. "Oh, I understand! But please, I beg you not to go alone. Please, take this small trinket..." The queen went over to her nightstand and picked up something that glittered in gold and blood red jewels. "Take this. It belonged to your great-grandmother's roommate's ex-boyfriend's stepsister's hairdresser. It is said to have magical powers, and it will protect you. Go to the east. There, you shall find my people. Your people. The Jellicles. Perhaps shall you even find your destiny. Go! You must leave now! Your father will be ready for you if you do not leave right away!"
Cindy looked at the trinket. It was a necklace. In a thin chain made out of gold hang a locket with a pattern of many jewels. When Cindy squinted, she could clearly see a carving of a cat's face at the front, where rubies made the eyes. Ah, it was something that suited her own exquisite beauty, for sure! She put it on and looked at her reflection in her mother's mirror.
"You look so beautiful in it, my darling," wailed Demeter and started crying violently again. "Oh, if only your great-grandmother's roommate's ex-boyfriend's stepsister's hairdresser could see you now!"
Cindy gave her mother a hug. "Thank you. I shall treasure it."
"I know you will. Now go! Flee!"
"Run! Scamper! Get lost, already!"
Cindy ignored the voice, turned rapidly and ran dramatically out of the room. Demeter stood there alone, watching her daughter disappear. Suddenly her own beauty seemed to have faded ever so slightly, and her eyes turned misty.
"About time too," said a black cat and stepped out of the shadows.
Her sister followed suit and waved her paw in front of Demeter's fogged stare. The golden queen didn't react. "She won't be a problem," reported the young, black queen. "Get the tools out."
"Right-O."
Agent Ekwy allowed for the large brown backpack she was carrying to fall to the floor and started rummaging through it. Normally she didn't travel this heavy, but for this particular mission it had been necessary. Not only did they have a Mary-Sue on their hands (paws, technically), but also a Sued canon.
Patiently she got out a few white candles, a packet of matches, some vanilla incense, and two objects that looked like a pair of golden feline eyes, much like the special logotype for the musical CATS. She gave Gecka one of the eyes.
"Take this, and help me with the candles."
They placed the candles in a circle around Demeter's bed (a large and very pink thing with velvet curtains), and then they led the queen there to lie down herself. Demeter didn't protest. She hadn't moved much since Cindy had disappeared. It seemed as if she was in some sort of shock.
Ekwy went around with the matches and lit the candles while Gecka took the incense. Soon, a sweet smell of vanilla spread through the room. Ekwy picked up her gold-eye.
"You ready?" she asked her sister.
Gecka nodded. "Always. Just tell me when it's time."
Ekwy nodded, and then she took a deep breath. "In the name of T.S Eliot and Andrew Lloyd Webber, of the Really Useful Group and the Everlasting Cat itself, I command thee, fiend, to leave this body and never return! Gecka, now!"
"Disappear from this realm forever!" continued Gecka. "Never plague us again! SO MOTE IT BE!"
The Agents slammed the eyes down on Demeter's chest, and the queen screamed. And then, the silvery ghost of the Suvian spirit that had possessed her let go of its former vessel and floated up into the air.
"SO UNFAIR!" it shrieked. "I HATT JOO!"
Ekwy grabbed her weapon, a toasting fork that hanged in a sheath at her waist, and stabbed it through the head of the spirit. It howled in pain and faded away.
On the bed, Demeter blinked a few times. "Wha-what happened?"
In perfect unison, the sisters put on their sunglasses.
"Oh," said Gecka calmly and raised the neuralyzer. "Nothing at all."
Flash.
"Sleep, Demeter. When you wake up, you'll be back at the junkyard, and you've just had a strange dream. It was so odd that you don't want to remember it. And then you'll give Munkustrap a big hug."
"Good work," said Ekwy and nodded approvingly.
"Thanks. Question."
"Shoot."
"Where exactly did you get that fork? I thought we weren't supposed to have uncanonical weapons."
Ekwy grinned. "Ah, yes. That's what I thought too. But then I realized that the cats do have weapons in Growltiger's Last Stand, so I decided to get myself a nice toasting fork. Don't worry, we'll get you a carving knife when this mission is over."
"Fine." Then Gecka's pout disappeared, and she suddenly looked hopeful. "Can I have Cindy's necklace, then?"
Ekwy sighed. "Yes. You can have the necklace. Come on now, we still have work to do."
Cindy made a grand entrance to the Jellicle junkyard. Her similarities to Demeter made the first tom to notice her (Pounci-something. His name wasn't all that important) believe that she was her mother who had come back to them, and he caught her in a tight hug.
"Oh Demeter!" he cried out. "We were so worried about you!"
Cindy got out of the hug and looked at him oddly. "Pardon me, but my name is not Demeter, although she is my mother. I am Cinderella Wilhelmina Anna Bandanna. But you can call me Cindy," she added, smiling sweetly.
Pounci-something gasped. "Demeter is your mother? But then your father must be..."
"Yes." Cindy nodded sadly. "My father is the notorious Napoleon of Crime."
"Ah, but then I must bring you to Old Deuteronomy right away!" Pounci-something grabbed Cindy's perfectly manicured paw and ran hurriedly. Before they knew it, they were in front of Old Deuteronomy himself.
"Welcome," said the old cat, nodding. "So you come here to us to become a Jellicle, then?"
Cindy nodded. "Yes, it is what I want more than anything. You see, I never felt like I fit in back at the mansion. My father was horrible to me, and my mother was the only one who understood my pain." A single tear trickled down her cheek.
"Indeed, your story is filled with much suffering," said Old Deuteronomy, his kind eyes filled with pity. "Of course, you can be a Jellicle." He waved his paws randomly in the air. "There. Now you are a Jellicle."
Cindy exhaled deeply. Yes. She could feel the power running through her veins now, the Jellicle power. It bubbled underneath her skin; made the air sing and her head feel slightly dizzy. In combination with the powers she had inherited from Macavity, she felt stronger than she had ever felt in her life. Without even realizing it herself, she pointed at the tire on which Old Deuteronomy sat. A beautiful red rose grew up where she had pointed, its sweet smell filling the junkyard.
There was some commotion.
"A sorceress!" exclaimed Mistoffelees, who had randomly showed up because he felt like it. "And a powerful one at that."
"Yes," chorused Coricopat and Tantomile. "Why, she is more powerful than us and Misto put together! Macavity himself is no match for her!"
"Why, she is simply marvellously splendid!"
"I agree, sister dearest, she is an original! Not even the least bit annoying!"
"My, for I must concur, this being is without a doubt absolutely spiffing and great! She must be celebrated!"
Cindy looked around. Behind Mistoffelees, leaning against the wall of the old ford, stood two black queens, their front paws crossed over their chests. Cindy was certain that they were the ones that had bellowed those words, and that there had been a large amount of sarcasm involved. She decided to ignore them for now. Perhaps she could make Old Deuteronomy to banish them later on?
"My friends," she said now, addressing the Jellicles. "I am now one of you."
"By all means, do not question this. If I continue with this formal language, then you simply must take me seriously."
"We shall be together always, for my heart has always longed to see your faces and learn your names. Yes, I am indeed a sorceress, and my powers can put all of yours to shame."
"She said, humbly."
"Do not fear me for this, see is but as a contribution to the most honoured Jellicle tribe." Cindy's eyes darted towards the black queens again. They waved merrily at her. "I humbly stand before thee, pleading to become one of you. Your leader," she showed at Old Deuteronomy, "has accepted me. I only ask for your blessing."
"You ain't gettin' it, poppit."
Cindy snapped. "Okay, what is your problem?" she yelled at the two black cats. "Like, I've been nothing but good and sweet! Why don't you like me?"
The older queen looked at the younger, and both smirked.
"Oh, we were hoping you'd say that," said the oldest. "There are quite a lot of reasons why we don't like you. In fact, we wrote a list. Gecka?"
She nodded at her sister, who took up a very long piece of paper.
"Yes, Cinderella Wilhelmina Anna Bandanna, also called Cindy the Terrible," said the younger cat, Gecka. "You have been charged with all the following crimes against canon: Inflicting OOCness on canon characters, mainly Macavity, Demeter and Old Deuteronomy; being the uncanonical offspring of a canon character; causing Demeter to behave like a Sue herself; having a shiny Necklace of Doom; being a more powerful magician than all the cats of the Jellicle tribe plus Macavity combined; making Macavity live in a mansion; making cats use the bathroom; talking in an angsty and formal language that really gets on my nerves..."
The queen paused and turned to her older counterpart. "Anything else, Ekwy?"
"Ah yes. Turning the process of being accepted as a real Jellicle into something that takes three seconds and some waving. That's my main pet peeve. Otherwise, I think we're done. If you could just come with us, please."
She grabbed the beautiful queen and started to drag her away from the junkyard. Gecka stayed behind, holding up a small metal object in front of the rest of the Jellicles. There was a flash, and then Gecka followed the Agent and the Sue. They walked for a while until they were sure that the neuralyzed Jellicles wouldn't hear eventual screaming.
For Cindy did scream.
"This is not fair!" she exclaimed. "They were all supposed to love me! This isn't right!"
Ekwy snorted, letting go of her and unsheathing her toasting fork. "Yeah. The important thing is that you believe that, poppit. Now. Did you have any ideas for her disposal, Gecks?" She turned to look at her sister.
Gecka, started to say something, but was interrupted when Cindy suddenly started to glow. "Oh. Check that out."
The special necklace that the Sue was wearing had suddenly erupted in bright light. The rubies shimmered eerily, casting red shadows around the junkyard, and the pendant on which they hanged rose slowly into the air.
"I am the heir of Macavity!" chanted Cindy, eyes sparkling madly. "I will not be mocked! I am magic! You, mere mortals, will know the power of my WRATH!"
Pink and purple lightning started to shoot out from her paws, and her voice sounded hollow and grave. The lightning clashed horribly with the red glow of the necklace.
Ekwy wasn't very impressed. "Damn cheesy special effects," she remarked. "Come on now, missy. We don't have time for this."
More lighting flashed. "I WILL NOT BE-"
"Yes, yes, we've gathered. Shut up, or we'll get worse. Gecka?"
"Uh-huh?"
"Do you have any idea on how to take her out?"
"I AM THE HEIR OF-"
"Shut up."
Gecka looked pensive. "You did the whole 'feed her to the Pollicles' thing last time, right?"
"Yep. And what a sight it was!" Ekwy sighed dreamily. "Very... special."
"ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING TO ME!"
Gecka blinked at her. "Oh yes, dear, we're listening. We just don't care very much."
Cindy gaped. "W-what? How can you not care about me? I'm so... lovely!"
"Tell it to someone who cares, dearie. Leave us alone." Gecka turned back towards her sister. "Use that nifty fork of yours, then. It's nice and pointy."
"Nah, I've already used it once during this mission. I want to be original."
"That is a challenge in this continuum." Gecka frowned, one silky paw on her chin. "Hm. We are in London, though. Perhaps we could throw her down the Tower or something? Drown her in the Thames, perhaps?"
"Yes, the Thames is mentioned in a song, so that should be doable," nodded Ekwy. "And I'm rather fond of the idea to make her walk the plank."
"It's settled, then!" Gecka clapped her paws. "Can I do it? Pleasepleasepleaseplease? You got to do it last time!"
"That was because you were throwing up all over the place. You couldn't even lift a chocolate bar!"
"Still, fair's fair."
Ekwy sighed. "Fine, you can do it. But if you get to kill her, then I want her necklace!"
Gecka's eyes widened. "No! I called that necklace! It's mine!"
"You get the kill, I get the shiny! It's not more than fair!"
The younger queen pouted. "You're stupid."
"I am your sister, it is my right. Heeey... What happened with our Sue?"
The sisters turned around to check at Cindy. The gorgeous queen had turned very pale, and she was clutching at her heart. Her eyes were wide and filled with shock. Her mouth opened and closed without any sounds coming out; she looked a bit like a fish that had been thrown up on dry land.
"You... don't care," she whispered. "That's not... possible..."
And suddenly, without any warning, her eyes rolled back and she dropped to the ground. Ekwy and Gecka stood and blinked at her for a while. Then Ekwy went up to check her pulse.
"Stone dead," she reported, her voice filled with awe. "My. It must have been a bit of a shock to her."
"An interesting case," remarked Gecka. "'Cause of Death: Lack of attention.' I don't think we've ever seen that before."
"Fascinating. That goes in the scrapbook back at the response centre." Ekwy stood up again. "Come on, we must get rid of the body."
The sisters grabbed one end of the Sue each. She wasn't heavy, being extremely thin since her author had mistaken "slim" for "anorexic."
"She died on her own," Gecka pointed out as they carried her off to the Thames. "That means the old deal goes. I get the necklace."
"You are such a baby!" Ekwy snorted. She held a firm grip around Cindy's lithe legs, the tail wined around her right arm. Perhaps she could have the tail cut off and be made into a scarf? If it got washed up a little bit, it would certainly be a decent enough birthday present for her mother...
"Am not!"
"Are too!"
The quarrel would have lasted a bit longer if not Ekwy's portal generator had suddenly given off a loud BEEEEEEEEPing noise. She groaned.
"Oh, what is it now? We can't get another mission right away, we haven' even completed this one!"
She simply dropped her part of Cindy's body and got up the generator. Red letters flashed before her eyes, and suddenly, she started to smile.
"What is it?" asked Gecka, trying to stand on her toes to read over her sister's shoulders.
"It's not a mission," said Ekwy and grinned. "It's an invite. To the Official Fanfiction university of Cats."
Gecka's eyes started to glitter. "They've started one of those?"
"Oh yes. And miss Minnaloushe - the course coordinator, that is - wants us to teach the GrammarBootCamp for her."
"Will the Tugger be there?"
"Of course! He's a canon, silly!"
"Will I be able to play Hug the Tug?"
"I don't think they encourage fangirlic behaviour, Gecks. You may have to restrain yourself."
Gecka sighed. "Pity."
Ekwy grabbed her end of the late Cindy the Terrible again, hooking the portal generator back on her belt. "Let's go. The sooner we get rid of this chick, the sooner we get there." She grinned again, and now there was something sadistic in it. "This'll be fun."
A/N: No worries, this will not be abandoned just because my Agents goes to teach at OFUC. They'll still get missions, and they'll probably be more homicidal now that they're also teaching. No rest for the PPC. .:shakes head sadly:.
Answers to Reviews:
Rose Black: No, I didn't make the Sparklypoo comic. That's all GMonkey. :) And nah, I don't write with my sister, either. Gecka IS my real sister, however. Her real name is Jessika. She doesn't care about fanfiction much, so I have to give her her lines. The only thing that's really true in this story are us being siblings, and that her Lust Object really IS the Tugger.
Zazzie: Could you explain a bit more what you mean with an "excatly-like-the Author-but-prettier Sue?