Chapter One
There are a few select ways to tell whether or not a person is an assassin or a bystander.
First and foremost: bystanders don't carry guns in their back pockets.
Unless, of course, it's a particularly mean bystander, but bystanders usually realize their tiny roles in the universe, and don't tend to be all that mean—they are mostly good for running and screaming and causing a dreadful commotion.
Such an example would be Bill, who wears a silver earring and works in a high school on a tiny unknown planet in a tiny unvisited galaxy that is unknown for its low tourist rate. Bill is really very unsatisfied with the way is life is going, and his wife is planning to divorce him. (But she hasn't told him yet, so shhh! It's a secret.)
But this story, contrary to popular belief, is not about Bill.
It is about it the famous bounty hunter, Battousai Kenshin.
And it starts with Kenshin, sitting in a bar, warily keeping one eye on his partner, Sano, who was downing his fifth vodka, and one eye on a bystander.
Of course, Kenshin was smart enough to figure out that bystanders do not hang around bars located in the darker parts of the port just to stare at you, as if waiting for you to either get up and start a fight or wait for you to kindly keel over.
And he was sensible enough to realize that a bystander with a gun is not truly a bystander at all, but most likely someone sent to kill him by some very bad, bad men.
Thus, Kenshin decided it would probably be wisest to drag Sano from the hookers and the alcoholic beverages and just leave. Before an actual confrontation occurred.
Alas, dragging Sano away from both hookers and beverages at the same time is quite a hard feat to accomplish.
Even for a famous bounty hunter such as Battousai Kenshin.
…
Did we mention that he was a famous bounty hunter?
"Sano." Kenshin glanced over his shoulder at Mr. Fake Bystander. "Sano, it would probably be best if we just—"
"Stayed?" Sano threw his head back, half his face hidden behind a beer mug. Sitting up a bit straighter he winked at a particularly busty blonde, and nodded to Kenshin. "Sounds like a good idea. Haven't been in a pub this fine for a while." The bartender beamed, and refilled their drinks.
"No. We need to leave." Kenshin cringed as Mr. Fake Bystander stood and started walking toward them.
This was not the place for a fight. A dark alley in the middle of the night? Sure. But scummy as this bar was, it was in the center of the Insula Station, and any number of higher authorities was just a shout away. Kenshin knew, from nasty experience, exactly how easily authorities could be swayed to look the other way until the convenient time.
An assassin wouldn't be stupid enough to come here of all places without paying off a few figure heads.
And gun licenses are, after all, very hard to earn, and very easy to lose. Being without a gun at this time and place would be bad bad bad…
Like it or not, they had to get out of there.
"We are leaving. Now."
"But we don't want you to leave," pouted a pretty girl, pursing her lips and cuddling up to Sano's side.
"Yeah," the original blonde agreed. "Stay. We were thinking of…dancing later."
The pause informed Kenshin that the girl had no intention of dancing in the context of a club and music and lights, but rather something more suggestive that he really didn't want to deal with at this moment.
"Sano?" Kenshin grabbed his arm, pulled him across the table, and hissed in the man's ear, "Apparently someone wants us dead, and I would appreciate it, thankyouverymuch, if you did not associate with prostitutes while I'm trying to plan our getaway."
Sano did not hear much beyond the words of "dead" and "prostitutes", but he got the basic idea, and heaved himself out of his seat with a heavy sigh.
"Sorry girls." He gave a heart-breakingly-charming grin. "We have to get back to the ship. Trading in the Silva Star System. Can't be helped." Kenshin began tugging Sano's sleeve, and muttering a storm of curses, so the tall rascal slipped the ladies his phone number, and allowed his associate to drag him off to the ship.
Kenshin worriedly shoved Sano through the crowded port, trying to remember where exactly the blasted docking area was.
"I think I'm in love."
And Sano was most certainly not being helpful.
"No, really, this is the real deal this time."
The man was following them. He didn't think he could chase them in space, did he?
"Yasha, what a lovely one she was. Yasha, oh Yasha…heh, you didn't happen to catch her last name, did ya?"
No. Unless he was well paid. A well paid assassin would have a good ship, and that ship would most definitely be outfitted with good weapons.
Maybe he and Sano could subtly kill him before they even reached the docks…
"Such a beauty…wonder what her cup size is."
Nah, Sano wasn't sober enough to properly handle anything here.
Best to get on the ship, Kenshin thought darkly, and go hide low in some backwater galaxy for a while.
And this would have been the perfect escape for our heroes.
Except—as they found when they finally did manage to get to their ship—that their craft was currently occupied with Mr. Fake Bystander, and a few of his friends.
They then proceeded, to the extreme embarrassment of Kenshin, to kidnap him.