Things start heating up in this chapter 'shan't say another word...
And so Loki continued watching Fenris, yet even through his emptiness, he somehow began to find his real self. He'd discovered that much of what he'd ever done in his life was because someone had told him to do it. Going with Chaos and the others was perhaps the only thing he'd ever done of his own accord and for himself. He wasn't sure what to think of his ideals anymore. Though they were familiar--like ritual--they didn't mean anything to him. They were empty, as empty as he had become without Fenris. That still really didn't tell him much about who he was, or his seemingly unnatural obsession with Fenris, but it was a start, however small.
Now Hajatu could hardly fail to notice his beloved's absences after the morning meals and he soon became curious. One morning he followed her discreetly, and watched her duck quickly inside a room. Moments later, Master Loki appeared and entered the same room. Panic gripped his heart like a vice. He'd known that Taulin had had feelings for the master assassin once..once, but he'd thought she'd given up...His thoughts continued on this vein. It seemed like ages until they came out and when they did, Loki dissapeared without a word, and Taulin appeared hot, sweaty and tired. The Spider, as Hajatu was called, debated with himself for a moment, then decided to follow his wayward lover first.
Taulin was sitting at her vanity, unwrapping her turban when Hajatu burst in. Setting aside the cloth, she rose to greet him, but was stunned into sitting at his explosion. "So this is where you've been going every morning! I thought you said I was the only one you could give yourself to! Isn't that what you said to me?" Taulin could only stammer,
"H-Hajatu.. I-I don't understand--" The other assassin cut her off angrily,
"You and Loki! Don't think I haven't noticed the two of you sneaking off together after breakfast!" The Blood Rose went stark white with terror. She glanced around the room and pleaded to her lover,
"Please Hajatu, keep your voice down!"
"Why should I?" Taulin winced at his bellow.
"It's not what you think, if you'd only calm down! Please, Haji.." He crossed his arms and stomped angrily around her stool,
"Then what, pray tell, is it? And don't 'please Haji' me.. I want the truth!" Taulin bit her lip. The conflict in her eyes seemed real enough as she said,
"I can't say! Please Hajatu...You must understand. He's just so desolate, I promised him I wouldn't tell anyone. I gave him my word! I'm not sleeping with him or anything! Hajatu you must believe me!" The spider didn't answer her and she continued, "Why should I want to? I love you Haji! I don't need anyone else, I'd never try to hurt you, I swear by my mother's grave!" The man uncrossed his arms and sat down on the edge of Taulin's bed.
"That's not good enough Tauli. Tell me everything now, or I will go and hurt him." Taulin was shocked,
"But why? He's done nothing to me!" The male was hard-pressed to check his temper,
"The Hel he hasn't! Even if you aren't having a fling, some thing's draining you! It's not good for you whatever you're doing, and if you keep it up you'll lose your edge!" Taulin stood up,
"It's my own choice to use my gifts or not as I please! I know the consequences of using farsight, and if I have to suffer temporarily--so be it! Just because you care for me, and think you know what's best, doesn't mean you can just order me around like a drudge! I know my limitations thank you very much, and I think this conversation is over!" The Rose shoved the stool in roughly and pulled Hajatu up off her bed. "Get out of my room before I really lose my temper Haji. Go talk to Loki if you want to know anything else!" Without further ado, Taulin roughly shoved Hajatu out of her room and slammed the door. The assassin wasn't really eager to stay in such tempered company anyways, but it still irked him to be bodily shoved out of the room like that. Cursing darkly under his breath, Hajatu started running through the building, searching for their former squadron leader, Loki. Farsight...damn him to Hel for making her do that!
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Loki was sitting in the gardens when he heard someone call his name. Turning to face whoever it was, he recognized him as Hajatu. He also recognized the man's intent. Hajatu shouted at him as he punched him smack across the face. Loki could have blocked it, but he didn't really care.. he almost felt like he deserved it. Hajatu grabbed him by his jacket,
"Damn you to Hel Loki! Damn you to Hel and back again! What have you been doing to Taulin? Is she really using her Farsight every day?" Hajatu struck him again. Loki blinked..the physical pain was..intriguing...like a reminder that he was indeed still alive. The raging man shook him demanding, "WELL?" Loki averted his gaze.
"...Not your concern." Hajatu threw Loki into the wall, infuriated further by the other man's apathy. Loki let himself sink down into the ground as Hajatu continued shouting at him,
"Like Hel it isn't! What is so gods-damned important that you have to see everyday?" Loki only muttered,
"Nothing you need know about..." Hajatu drew in a breath, restraining himself from kicking Loki's prone form. His voice was quaking with unspent anger, and his fists trembled as he attempted to speak calmly,
"Loki, listen to me. I love Tauli. I love her to the death. What you are doing is hurting her--even if she won't admit it." He spoke his next sentence in even tones, "I, don't, like, that." His anger was much more under control now. Hajatu actually sounded calm as he continued, "So tell me Loki, what is it that even possibly validates this activity." Loki set his jaw, pressing his lips together in a tight line. Hajatu felt his patience running thin, "Answer me! Gods Loki you would infuriate a rock! What is so bloody important to you? Why the secrecy?" There was still no reply. Hajatu punched the wall above Loki, "Answer me damnit! Tch. You really have changed...I wonder..was Tauli correct? Was it your friends and your precious Fenris that's made you so--" At the mention of Fenris' name Loki stood upright. Though his breathing was even and his voice flat, the death grip on Haji's neck and the fire in his eyes betrayed Loki's anger. He was practically baring his teeth at the poor man,
"Don't you ever say her name that way again in my presence. I forbid you to even think of her name. Do you understand me?" The Spider was turning somewhat blue, so Loki lessened his grip and asked again, "Do you understand?"
"Y-yeah..I understand," wheezed Hajatu.
"Good," Loki let him drop to the ground. He looked away and murmured sullenly, "Get out of my sight." Haji was only too happy to comply, he scurried away rubbing his neck as he went.
x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-
For the next week or so, things were quiet. Loki'd taken to shutting himself up in his room for most of the day; though sometimes he came out to help with the reconstruction efforts. He'd even stopped going to Taulin. She'd even stopped in on him once, to ask if he wanted to see Fenris. Loki didn't answer her, he just kept staring into the wall. The wall which had held the mirror now in pieces on the floor. Taulin collected the shards carefully and took them with her as she left him. A few days later she returned with a new mirror and a tray of food. She set it down on his knees, and gave him a brisk command, "Eat." She turned and affixed the mirror to the wall, assuming her command was being carried out. When she turned around she saw that he hadn't moved a muscle. Crossing her arms and frowning, Taulin gave Loki a dirty glare, "If you don't pick up your fork and start to eat I shall come over there and feed you like a babe." Apparently the threat of humiliation worked, though he was still contrary and picked up his spoon instead. After a few mechanical mouthfuls of soup Loki cleared his throat. It was obvious he hadn't used his voice in days,
"Are you going to stand there and watch me eat then?" Taulin leaned against the wall,
"Yes I am. If my intelligence is correct you haven't eaten anything for three days."
"Four," he muttered off-handedly. Taulin's frown increased, but she didn't say anything. Loki continued to empty his soup bowl. When finished he set it aside then asked, "What is it you feel for Hajatu?" Taulin blinked, totally unprepared for the question. She shook her head to rid her momentary shock then shrugged,
"Why I'd call it 'love.' Why do you ask?" Loki nodded thoughtfully,
"Must be nice." Taulin laughed struck by the absurdity of the situation. She adjusted her turban absently,
"Yes it certainly is."
"What is it like?" She raised a brow at him,
"Start on your potatoes and then I might tell you." Loki made a noise of impatience or dissent. It was hard to tell which, though he started eating anyways. Grinning with triumph, Tauli continued, "That's better. With Haji..well it depends really...Usually I just feel..peaceful. Blessed. Though I do admit.. sometimes he does manage to still make me giddy. Sometimes he's just infuriating though, but it makes me love him more all the same. I'd do anything for him, anything." She stopped for a moment and looked at Loki, who was lost in thought. Her voice cut through his woolgathering, "Do you love Fenris?" His head jerked up in surprise at that. He blinked twice, then shook his head,
"I can't" Taulin's brows furrowed,
"What do you mean you can't? Are you saying you can't love?" Loki shrugged,
"I can't." For some reason, this seemed to annoy Taulin, though Loki couldn't begin to fathom any reasons why.
"I don't believe this! I've never heard such malarkey! Why in Helheim would you think that?" Loki set aside his tray of half-eaten food,
"I am not normal." Taulin frowned,
"Normal or not you need to eat. Finish that!" Loki resentfully picked up the tray again. The female assassin continued berating him, "And another thing, you think you're not normal? I've learned enough about Fenris through your memories to know that she's not normal either!" Loki paused with his fork in his mouth,
"Of course she is not normal..she is.. different. Not like anyone I ever met."
"That's my point exactly! You can't find anyone else to compare her to! Tell me Loki, does she love?"
"What?" Taulin repeated her question,
"Does she love?" Loki looked down at that one,
"...I..yes. She does." The Blood Rose moved beside Loki and sat down,
"So tell me Loki, if she can love, why can't you?" Loki said nothing, just continued to eat until his food was gone. Taulin sighed and stood, "I suppose I have given you much to think about. Come into the council chamber four hours before sunset. We have a task for you." Loki nodded and handed her the tray. Taulin paused on her way out the door, "You should sleep Loki. You look terrible." It was only after she'd shut the door that Loki found an answer to her question.
"I don't know how."
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It was later in the day, Loki had appeared in the council chamber on time as requested. Taulin privately marveled at Loki's ability to appear normal after suffering days of self-ordained confinement. Well, 'unruffled' maybe, instead of 'normal.' Taulin looked around at the faces in the chamber, the ones that weren't obscured by veils at any rate. Most everyone present either sported a robust tan or a burn on their skin. Loki, in contrast was pale, looking more like someone who spent his days underground than in a blazing desert. She shook her head and focused back on the briefing. Though the guild may have suffered a setback and stopped working for a time, the forces outside of light and dark hadn't skipped a beat. The balance was in shambles.
Loki listened attentively to his mission. Or at least, he tried to. A new cult worshiping Surt was gathering around the remains of the old castle. They were trying to rebuilt the original shrine that once stood there it seemed. He'd have to take four of the new assassins with him. A prospect he did not relish at all. His attention wavered as he imagined all the dismal mistakes and failures that would be bound to occur.
Then cutting through his thoughts, his mind went blank-incapable of thought as a portent of the near future filled his mind. Physically he felt as though he were reeling, but he focused his energy on standing still. Something important was about to happen, and he didn't want to lose the first vision he'd had in months.
---It was a forest, somewhere far in the north where it
smelt of pine. There was also the smell of a battle there, with magic
and blood ripe in the air. Ah, he could see it. Blood slowly seeping
into the rich soil of the northern woodlands. A chill wind was in the
air, not a natural one, but one of the nether-realm. Someone was nigh
to dying. Then he saw the two shocked faces of Chaos and Iris. They
were staring at something...him!
He could see himself! But what was he holding..? ...It was the source
of blood...a body...no it couldn't be...not her...anyone but.. Then, as
if out of spite, the figure in his arms went limp, revealing her
unmistakable face.---
And suddenly Loki was back in his present body, in the chamber far away from the forest that he had just seen. Someone was screaming, shouting...then he realized it was himself.
"No--! I won't--! I will not let it happen!" He was dizzy from the after effects of his vision...stumbling backwards. The council members starred at him. Mustafa cleared his throat,
"Er, well yes Loki. I'm glad you feel so strongly about this mission--" Loki was enraged, could the man not see? This was far more important than the paltry matters of another cult worshiping Surt.
"Not that you fool! I must leave at once!" He regained his sense of balance and strode up to the table and slammed a fist on the hard granite surface, "Assemble everyone in the main ante-chamber now! Tell them to get ready for a transport spell." There was a silence. Mustafa finally spoke again,
"But...But master Loki, none of the new novices are properly trained for such complex--"
"I don't care! Just assemble them now and guide them through it! I don't care, do you understand? I have to prevent something irrevocable from happening, now go!" Mustafa hastily bowed then rushed away, anxious to do Loki's biddings 'lest his temper be roused further. The master assassin paced back and forth in the chamber, muttering the incantation rapidly under his breath, making adjustments for the variables he knew and didn't. He glared at the others, "And what are you all doing just sitting there? Go! Start putting down the patterns! I'll fill in the parameters just get moving!" He sighed and put his hands to his head as they briskly filed out. He knew where they said they'd be going.. had a general idea...if only he knew how much time he had before this would happen! He looked up and saw Taulin was still there. She gazed at him softly,
"It's her isn't it? Fenris? You've seen something? Give me your hand..if the vision still lingers I may be able to help..." Loki offered his palm to Taulin. She closed her eyes and concentrated. "...Andvari's river...the wolf will fall in a forest near Andvari's river." Andvari's river, one of the longest rivers in Midgard. Loki held back a groan. Though the river meandered far and wide over the land, it was still better than 'a forest of the north.' Loki nodded and started for the ante-chamber. Suddenly he paused,
"Taulin. I do not know if I ever said it properly but.. I thank you. For all you have done." He dissapeared behind a door, with Taulin soon to follow, nursing the final blow of her wounded heart.
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The friends Loki had left what seemed to be years ago, were in fact in a forest. The same one he had seen. Earlier, at dawn, they'd left a small village nestled in the woodlands between the river and the mountain ranges. They hadn't covered as much ground as they'd hoped in the last two months. They'd been fruitlessly searching for another shard of Ymir, but many of the locals, while friendly, didn't seem too keen on discussing anything outside of the ordinary with them. They actually seemed scared of something--or more likely someone, but they hadn't even heard rumors of that fear either.
Perhaps it was their lucky day, because a messenger was sent to make this fear known to them.
The messenger appeared in the form of a woman, clad in simple, honest-looking travel clothing. She was also quite lovely, with dark hazel eyes and smoky auburn hair piled on top of her head, not to mention her peaches-and-cream complexion. In fact she would have appeared quite normal, if it weren't for the fact that she was floating up in midair among the tree boughs. The three of them stopped, not quite sure what to make of this woman. She help up her hand in an imperial gesture.
"Hold! I bear a greeting from the great and wondrous Hrist, servant to the eternal and everlasting Freya! You are approaching the outer reaches of my lady's lands. Mistress Hrist would like me to convey her greetings." Energy gathered at the girl's outspread fingers. She pulled back her arm and then hurled down the gathered ball of energy at the heroes. Chaos cried out a warning as he sprang into action,
"Get down!" The boy crashed into Iris, moving her out of harms way. Fenris was already moving, her lips and hands moving together in a silent invocation to spirits unseen. The light from the explosion faded, leaving behind the charred remains of a hundred year old tree. The floating woman laughed in delight,
"Oh so clever are we! What fun! This should prove to be interesting!" She narrowed her eyes as Fenris released her spell, shooting a spiral of burning liquid her way. "I forgot to introduce myself," her hand moved in a fast arc as she drew from the air a whip made out of fire. She cut through the liquid, and landed on the ground, prepared to do closer-contact battle. "My name is Rhitta, and it will be a pleasure destroying you all!" She flung aside her cloak, revealing a rapier at her hip, as well as a dagger-hilt above the line of her boot. Iris flung a series of runecards at her, diffusing her whip. Taking this in stride, Rhitta seamlessly drew her rapier and sketched a mark in the air. When completed it resonated through the air, sending devastating sound waves crashing throughout the entire forest. Rhitta appeared to be unaffected by this, but Iris, Chaos, and Fenris were not as fortunate. Fenris bit her lip and clutched her head as the bones in her body threatened to shatter in the intense vibrations. The sound suddenly ceased but the effects did not, Rhitta launched herself at Chaos who barley avoided getting slashed with her blade. Not stopping, Rhitta persisted on in her attacks, succeeding in taking off a few locks of Chaos' hair.
Finally Chaos drew his sword. Steel met steel with a clang, Fenris cringed inwardly as she saw that the added jarring on her friend's arm was not helping him any. She chanced a glance at Iris and saw that the girl was nursing a heavily bleeding nose. Rhitta pressed mercilessly on and the clanging continued. Fenris took in a breath, he's too defensive right now.. he'll get hit... She called up the power from the soil beneath her.
"Dwarven allies please avail me! Lend your strength to Fenris Fenrir that she may strike down this heinous foe! Return her to the salts below! Xh'jghin-i Ko'til!" The earth beneath Rhitta's feet surged upwards in a geyser of dirt. Fenris lost sight of her for a moment, but noticed that Chaos was struck by a few loose stones. Iris' dress front was covered in blood.. apparently that bloody nose was more serious than it seemed...
Rhitta came down a moment later in front of Fenris. "So you want to play too warlock? You're made of sterner stuff than I thought. Very well let's begin!" The warlock sidestepped without thinking as Rhitta flung her blade like a dagger. Fenris gaped at the blade in her side and stumbled backwards into the tree behind her,
"Not..not..fast enough.." Rhitta was standing there patiently, waiting,
"What's the matter dear warlock? It's your move." Fenris tried not to laugh hysterically. 'What's wrong with me?' Had Fenris not suffering from slight shock, she would've realized something very bad was in store for her.. judging by Rhitta's calm demeanor. Something other than ordinary death by puncture wounds.
Fenris licked her dry lips and brought two fingers to her forehead, desperately searching her mind for an incantation.Pick a spell any spell... "By the power of...by the power..of..." It was painful to breathe, it seemed that every movement cut the blade deeper into her side. Strangely it looked more like it had been inserted by a slash than a throw. Suddenly she saw a shadow swoop down from overhead. It landed and uncurled to its feet between her and Rhitta. Before she even dimly recognized the figure, he had lept forward, slamming the villainess against a tree, pinning her neck under his oppressing claw-armored hands. Rhitta tried to pry his hand off her neck, but found it to be no use. Her dark eyes flicked from Fenris to the man in front of her, then she grinned. Gasping for breath, Rhitta reached out her hand shrieking out a harsh, grating, inhuman word. The moment she started her scream Fenris' joined it as latent rune-like marks on the blade exploded into life and light, which caused large explosion of blood, aggravating her already serious wound. Crying out angrily Loki brutally and mercilessly rent the body in front of him apart. Thus Rhitta died with an insanely satisfied smile gracing her lips as her throat was ripped out.
Fenris lay panting raggedly. She'd fallen on the sword, but was too much in pain to move. Her vision went dark around the edges, blurring in to one central point. She was vaguely aware of a pair of strong hands gently picking her up and moving her slightly. Fenris winced as the sword moved, but then it slowly was pulled away from her side. She felt a hand cover the wound which was pouring blood all over. She tried to make her eyes focus. What was it that was helping her now? Some...person clad in dark, dark green, a small three-pronged blot on his bone-colored collar..Black bangs that hung down over his eyes..his bright green eyes. He was murmuring franticly to her, but she couldn't make sense of it. She spoke in little more than a raspy whisper, " 'S so dark..every thing's all dark..." She reached up and touched her defender's face. "Who..w-who is it?" He grabbed her hand, somewhere in the back of her mind Fenris noted that it was covered in blood, probably her own. His voice was strange to her, yet as familiar as her own breath,
"Fenris, it's me, your friend! Loki!" Fenris' eyes shut of their own accord and her body went slack with a shudder.
"No----!" Loki's cry was that of an injured beast, a piteous wail of rage and sorrow. Two strong hands grabbed him trying to wrest his grasp from Fenris, only causing him to tighten up further. Chaos' shout cut through his momentary shock,
"Loki's she's not dead yet! We still have time! Stand aside and let Iris heal her!" The assassin's eyes snapped open. He reluctantly, if not gently, laid Fenris on her back. Iris stepped forward, damp blood still sticking to her face. Iris took in a breath and started the healing process. Light gathered over the warlock's still form, then erupted back at the cleric. Iris fell soundly on her rear,
"Umph! What was--Oh Hel..." Iris pinched the bridge of her nose, it had started bleeding again. Loki looked anxiously over Fenris,
"What is wrong?" Chaos tore off a strip of his jacket and handed it to Iris for her nose. He tore off a larger strip of his jacket and pressed it against Fenris' side,
"Iris?" Loki groaned as he realized something,
"The sword...that shriek.. I think she's been cursed..." Iris looked over the warlock's wound, but kept a fair distance back to let Chaos work, and to avoid dripping her blood on Fenris. She put out two fingers, feeling the aura around the warlock,
"This is very complex..I think I may have helped to slow the bleeding...but..there's this web of darkness being spun all around her...I don't know how to fix this on my own. Curses were never my strong point..." She let her fingers drop and looked up at Loki, "I'm sorry." The assassin wasn't listening anymore. He was in shock. He'd failed. He couldn't save her when it counted. It's...over. That is it. She is going to die..Fenris is going to die.. it's all my fault...I never should have left them in the first place. Why Fenris? Why? Chaos decided to take charge,
"Iris, can we get back to that village before nightfall do you think?" Iris nodded slowly,
"Maybe if we hurry... We'll have to get going right away though." The boy nodded then stood, hefting Fenris in his arms,
"Right then. Loki! Wake up! We're moving out, you carry your girlfriend here." Loki snapped his head up, but thrust his arms out automatically. He looked honestly confused as Chaos placed the warlock in his arms,
"My what?" The knight shook his head a little and clapped Loki on the back,
"Never mind. Just keep moving. Iris! Run ahead of us okay? See if you can get there and get help ready alright? Don't wear yourself out though!" Iris nodded and picked up her pace and started to jog,
"Alright boys! Don't be too long!" Iris sped up a little bit more, then dissapeared down the path.
Loki followed Chaos in silence. The assassin held Fenris' body close to him, willing her to stay alive. He could feel that chill air, the one he had foreseen. He felt that if he held her close enough, his body would shelter her from the call of death. One hand was pressed against her wound, always.
Darkness was gathering quickly. Loki felt a note of panic, as though Fenris' livelihood was confined only to the sunlit hours. Chaos seemed to feel this too, and they picked up their pace, racing against the oncoming twilight. The only reassurance Loki felt, was from the faint puffs of breath against his chest--issued forth by the unconscious warlock.
It was as the sun set that the gates to the village finally came into view. They could just see the twinkling lights of lanterns, held by a group waiting anxiously for the patient's arrival. Loki closed the distance in moments, and gently handed Fenris over to the priest and attendants waiting there. They laid her down on a stretcher and carried her off to the temple, Loki and Chaos following solemnly behind.
To be continued...
Author's Notes:
Ho noes! What's gonna 'appen to Fenris? What's Loki gonna do? Will Chaos and Iris ever get a fanfic of their own? Stay tuned this summer to find out!