Disclaimer: I refuse to say it…
JL: Say it
KBM: No! It hurts me too much! breaks down and sobs
JL: …gay mofo…
KBM: I am NOT a gay MOFO! You're the one who made that dude won when they had a trial about keeping the original character designs for Weiss Kreuz Gluhen! Omi looks like a DOG now, Aya's pimpin', Ken's just freaky and looks like he came from Prince of Tennis, Nagi looks…OMG…horrible image haunting my poor mind…
JL: At least we made hella money off of it!
KBM: I do not own anything…(murmurs) Money hungry leeches…
Chapter 2: What's the Title? We Don't Have One Because I'm Too Lazy To Think Of One!
Saul Street
Kirie: (out of breath) I (huff) never got so (huff) scared in all my (huff) afterlife (huff)
Miku: (perfectly normal) Heheheh…running away from all those perverted yakuza gang members finally pays off!
Mafuyu: o.O;
Mayu: (barely made it) x.x
Mio: …(sigh) what now?
Sae: You didn't leave me this time!! (hugs Yae)
Yae: Well, since there wasn't any cliff, I couldn't have left you even if I wanted to…-.-
Chitose: Hey! There's a trailer!
Itsuki: O.O Wow…that person must be dead poor to be living in there…
Mutsuki: Let's go inside and check it out! Who wants to go in there?
Everyone besides Mafuyu: Mafuyu
Mafuyu: Why me again?
Itsuki: Because you fucking kicked me into that hellhole with some perverted monster shit inside!
Mafuyu: (grumbles) (goes inside)
Itsuki: There better be some monsters inside there…
Kirie: Go and show us your manly side my dear sugar lumpies!
Miku: o.O What the hell is wrong with you? Those pet names are…so weird….
Mafuyu: (comes out) I found a note that said someone is waiting for us at the Neely's Bar
Kirie: A bar?
Ryozo: Ahh…I love bars…(thinks about his "good times")
Yae: And I used to drag you home…all the time…-.-;
Ryozo: Aww…you just ruined my moment!
Sae: I don't wanna know…-.-;
Miku: Is she even old enough to go to a bar? (points to Chitose)
Mutsuki: I think it's okay…because she may look young but she's actually older than you
Miku: o.O;
Kirie: Come to think about it…time line wise, you're the youngest one here Miku
Mafuyu: And that means I'm the second youngest…-.-
Kirie: I like my men young!
Mio: Eeww! You have a lolita complex or something?
Mayu: Hey! I think that's kinda cute!
Mio: One word out of you onee-chan and I'll disown you…-.-
Mayu: o.O;
Sae: On to the bar! Maybe they'll have some osake…
Mutsuki: Osake…I haven't had sake in a LONG time…
Itsuki: Remember? We used to get drunk all the time
Chitose: No wonder your room smelt like something died in there!
Mutsuki: (ignores Chitose) Yea…good times…
Flashback
Mutsuki: This is the shit man! (drinks a bottle of sake)
Itsuki: I hope Chitose won't walk in on us and ask for some too…
Mutsuki: Whatever (hic)…she's old enough to drink…how old (hic) is she again?
Itsuki: Err…I forgot (giggles) (KBM: he is obviously drunk…)
Mutsuki: (hic) Good ass stuff…I wish Munakata was here…I always thought his name was Munataka…not Munakata…
Itsuki: What a gay ass with a confusing name…ahahaha
Mutsuki: Don't say that! My name is for girls! He has it better than me…;.;
Itsuki: And mine is for both genders…hahahahahaha…
Mutsuki: Ah shit…I need to pee…(goes over to the place where Itsuki's yutaka is hung…or was it yukata? O.o) bathroom…(pees) aaaahhh…(hic)
Itsuki: (giggles) I always thought Yae and Sae were guys…I mean (hic) they're so fucking FLAT! Even Chitose has more boobs than both of them combined!
Mutsuki: So true…this village has the (hic) ugliest people I swear…just the other day, some random villager thought I was a girl and tried to hit on me (hic)…
Itsuki: Hahahahahahah…that's funny! Because every time I wake up in the middle of the night and see your face, I always mistake you for a girl and I wonder if I got so drunk, I screwed with Chitose or something…
Tachibana Twins: Hahahahahahahahahaha
Mutsuki: Ahahah…say something like that and I'll kill you instead of you killing me in the ceremony
Tachibana Twins: Ahahahahahahahahaahahah
Mutsuki: I'm fucking serious (hic)
Itsuki: o.O;
5 Hours later
Itsuki: The room's starting to smell funky…
Mutsuki: I'm sleepy (drops dead)
Itsuki: Hey…don't go dead on me bro! (shakes Mutsuki) Aww…my drinking buddy… (falls asleep on top of Mutsuki)
Chitose: (comes into the room) Itsuki! Mutsuki! Lookie! I got a new kimono! (looks at her brothers) OH MY GOD! O.O
30 minutes later
Sae: (Comes into the room with Yae) Hey guys. What's (looking at the two brothers) …up?
Yae: What's going-oh my GOD! O.O MY VIRGIN EYES! MY POOR VIRGIN EYES! (runs around screaming bloody murder)
Sae: (notices Chitose just standing there)
Chitose: O.O
Sae: Err…Chitose, are you okay?
Chitose: O.O
Sae: (shakes Chitose)
Chitose: (falls to the ground) O.O
Sae: Poor child…she fainted…(looks at Yae)
Yae: (foam coming out of her mouth) I fell in love with a gay guy in a incest relationship with his twin brother! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!
Sae: …(looking at the brothers again) They look kinda…cute together…
Yae: (banging her head repeatedly on the wall)
Sae: (dreamy sigh) They're so cute together! (KBM: Thus the beginning of her twisted mind…)
Yae: (faints)
Sae: Hmm…(gets an evil idea) (takes off the Alter Twin's clothes) (drags Yae and Chitose away) Heheheheheheh…
The next day
Mutsuki: (wakes up) My head…Something's heavy…(looking at his naked brother on top of him) AAAAAAAAAAAAAHH! (shoves him away) (notice that he's naked too) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
Itsuki: (wakes up) What's all that noise? And why is it so cold? (looking at his naked brother) Get some clothes on bro…(noticing his nakedness) O.O Oh…my…GOD! You raped me! You fucking raped me didn't you?!?!?!?!
Mutsuki: WHAT? It was YOU who raped ME! You were on top of me!
Itsuki: NOOOOOOOOO!! This cannot be! T-T
Mutsuki: (rolled into a little ball) (rocking back and forth in a dark corner) This is a lie….this is a lie…a nightmare…(mumbles incoherent stuff)
Itsuki: I raped someone…I raped a guy…I raped my male brother…I raped my male TWIN brother…what am I supposed to do now? What am I going to do with my life? What will happen to me? Will any girl like me? Will ANYONE like me? What of our parents? I shamed my ancestors…what will my imooto think of me? Will Chitose despise me? Will I get a decent job? Am I gay? What about the ceremony? Is it okay for us to be tainted? I thought the sacrifices must be virgins…that mean Yae and Sae will have to perform it…Sae's gonna die because I raped Mutsuki…I raped Mutsuki…(goes on and on)
Sae: (watching everything from a little hole on the door) Heheheheh…
Chitose: (comes up behind Sae) What are you doing?
Sae: Err…eheheheheh….heh…
End flashback
Tachibana Twins: ……
Sae: Heheheheheheh…
Chitose: -.-;
Yae: (has forced herself to erase the shameful memory long time ago) ? (now cannot remember anything for shit)
Itsuki: Err…I think we should go to the bar now…(nervous laugh) hahahahaha…
Mutsuki: Yea…(nervous laugh) hahahahaha…
Neely's Bar
Mio: Wow…I never came into a bar before
Mayu: That's because we were under age
Ryozo: Aren't you STILL underage? o.O;
Kirie: Well, there must be something he-(trips on a beer bottle) aw! (her hair is covering her face)
Everyone else: (gasp!) Oh my sweet underpants!
Mayu: It's Box in Woman!
Chitose: You mean Woman in Box? -.-;
Mayu: Same shit!
Kirie: I'm not Woman in Box you dolts! (walks up to them with her hair still covering her face)
Ryozo: AAAAAAAAAAAAAH! It came from planet Gulashmewahlopulakawaka to skin us alive and make a boat out of our skins, make toothpicks out of out fragile little bones and feed our guts to rabid monkeys with wings from the Land of Oz, which is ruled by a fat bus driver!
Itsuki: Here (shoves Yae into Kirie) a virgin sacrifice!
Mutsuki: She ain't no virgin you fool! (shoves Mio)
Yae and Mio: -.-#
Kirie: …(ties her hair with a random rubber band she found on the ground) Happy now?
Everyone else: Yes mom
Kirie: (twitch) Mom?!?!?!
Mafuyu: Hey cool! A map! I found a map! Whoo hoo!
Miku: Wow! You've actually done something useful! -.-;
Sae: About time he did something useful…-.-;
Chitose: (examining the window) (reads) There was a HOLE here. It's gone now.
Sae: Hole? What hole? A well maybe?
Miku: (shudders)
Mayu: Maybe a XXX's XXXXXXX in the middle of XXX at a XXX XXX with X other XXX? (KBM: I'll leave that to your imagination…heheheh)
Mio: O.O
Chitose: My virgin ears!! (covers her ears while singing Genki Ondo) (KBM: (receives weird looks from ppl who actually knows the song) What? I like that song! Although it sounds like something from the 50's…)
Sae: Nice! (high fives Mayu)
Mio and Yae: You two are just SICK and WRONG!
Sae and Mayu: (double the insane laugh)
Everyone: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH! MY POOR EARS!!
Window: (shatters)
Kirie: Let's make a run for it! (runs away)
Sae and Mayu: Hey! Don't leave me again! (follows them)
20 minutes after the wild goose chase
Everyone: (out of breath and on the ground begging for water)
Yae: I haven't been THIS out of breath since Ryozo and I-(mouth is covered by Ryozo)
Ryozo: There are children around!
Mafuyu: o.O
Chitose: Where are we?
Sae: Lost -.-
Miku: Hmm…the shop over there says…Happy Burger? What the hell's kind of name's that?
Itsuki: And there's Neely's Bar!
Mio: So we just ran in circles?
Mutsuki: Appears so…-.-;
Mayu: My knee hurts…T-T
Mafuyu: (not listening) Well, the map indicates that we should go to the north end of the Martin Street…
Kirie: I shall follow you everywhere! (has little heart shaped eyes)
Mafuyu: Err…(scoots away)
North End of the Martin Street
Miku: O.O There's another monster!
Patient Demon: Grrr…(sprays brown stuff)
Kirie: Ewww! That's nasty!
Mutsuki: (gets hit) Ah! I'm it! (falls down) go on…without me (faints)
Itsuki: Stop being such a drama queen! (kicks Mutsuki)
Mutsuki: Aw! Hey, that hurts you know!
Itsuki: That was the whole point…heheheh…
Mio: Hurry! Do something! (shoves Mafuyu)
Mafuyu: Why is it always me?
Miku: You're a man! Duh!
Mafuyu: What about that old man? (points to Ryozo)
Mayu: He's a senile old man! What can he do?
Ryozo: I am not a senile old man!
Sae: Yea…whatever gramps!
Ryozo: We're the same age! That makes you a senile old woman! Well…sort of…
Sae: (gasp) You just went too far there (takes out a whip)
Ryozo: O.O
Yae: (sigh) okay, break it up, break it up! (stands between Sae and Ryozo)
Chitose: …(spots a garbage can lid on the ground) (throws it at the monster)
Patient Demon: (now cut in half by the…garbage can…lid…)
Everyone: O.O
Itsuki: I…never knew…you could…wow…O.O
Mutsuki: (sniffing at the brown stuff the monster sprayed him with) Smells like something familiar…(licks the brown stuff)
Everyone else: (backs away) MUTSUKI! WHAT THE HELL'S WRONG WITH YOU?!?!
Mutsuki: Taste just like…hot chocolate? O.o;
Everyone else: o.O;;
Chitose: I want some! (trying to go near Mutsuki) (gets grabbed by Itsuki)
Itsuki: There will be no, I repeat, no incest in this family, you hear?
Chitose: What's incest? O.o;
Everyone who know what incest is: …err…
Itsuki: Look! A dead body! (runs over to the dead body to look for something to sell)
Mutsuki: Anybody got a towel?
Towelie from South Park: Anybody wanna get high?
Kirie: Enough with the South Park! (kicks Towelie off the face of the Earth)
Sae: Aww…the poor dear…
Mayu: Good thing he wasn't good looking, otherwise I would've cried…
Sae: True…
Itsuki: Hmm…(still searching the dead body) What a hobo! He don't have anything that's worth anything! All he has are a piece of lint, half a toilet paper, an empty glue bottle and a key to some apartment…apartment? Maybe he have some valuables there…LET'S GO TO WOOD SIDE APARTMENTS! That Hajime Saito replica katana doesn't buy on it's own you know! (walks away)
Mutsuki: …(sigh) (follows)
Everyone else: (follows)
Sae: Why the hell does he want a sword?
Mio: Probably to rob some poor grannies off the street?
Yae: Wouldn't he want a gun like a M870 Shotgun?
Kirie: Who knows…
Chitose: I still don't know what incest is!
Wood Side Apartments
Itsuki: (used the keys to open the gates)
Everyone: (goes in)
The gate: (closes on it's own)
Chitose: O.O (clings to Mutsuki)
Mutsuki: …(sigh) (pats Chitose)
Kirie: Hmm…what's this? (reads something on the wall written in red ink) Beware of the stupid authoress and do not give her any blueberry muffins, otherwise she WILL go into a bloody rampage. Do not mention the name of the evil 4Kids Entertainment or the man who goes by the name of Eric Stuart? (thunder crashes at the background) o.O;
Miku: There's some other writings here! (reads) BEWARE OF PERVERTED NURSE DEMONS! And I hate you all! Do NOT order pizza! (turns around) It looks like somebody else was here…
Mio: Which means we're not the only ones being tortured?
Mayu: Maybe there's some stuff inside the apartment!
Mafuyu: Maybe someone who can actually help us get out of here!
Yae: That's great!
Sae: I can FINALLY get out of here and go to that Yaoi Convention in San Francisco!
Mayu: YEA!
Mafuyu: Whoot!
Miku, Mio and Yae: …
Mafuyu: Err…I thought you meant YURI convention? (nervous laugh) Heheheheh…
Miku: Suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuure…
(Inside the Woodside Apartments)
Ryozo: It's too dark in here…
Yae: I'm so scared dear (hugs Ryozo)
Ryozo: It's okay dear, I'll protect you even if I have to sacrifice myself to the devil himself
Yae: You're so sweet honey bunny
Mutsuki: Get a room! -.-
Miku: Yea! There are children around! Err…well, more like a child but…you know what I mean!
????: Hi everyone!
????: (grumbles) why am I carrying this shit?
Everyone else: o.O; Who are you people?
????: My name is Harada Riku, from the anime D.N.Angel
????: And I'm Harada Risa, the younger and cuter twin
Riku: Sure…-.-;
Miku: Did you say Riku?!?!
Riku: Err…yes…
Miku: (goes into a rampage) HOW DARE YOU USE RIKU'S NAME?!?! ARRRRRRRRRRRRG!!! (attacks Riku)
Risa: …
Mafuyu: And the obsessive Riku fan girl strikes again…
Itsuki: o.O Is she always like this?
Mafuyu: This is nothing…you should've seen the Riku cosplayer from the last convention we went to…the poor guy…Miku broke his left arm, both of his legs, 3 ribs, 6 fingers, 1 toe, and she also gauged out the cosplayer's eyes saying "Become a Mourner and mourn for Riku who has to suffer for having the ugliest cosplayers on the face of this pitiful Earth!" (KBM: That's something I would do…heheheh…)
Mutsuki: O.O;;
Chitose: Didn't she get arrested for that?
Mafuyu: The police there was a Riku fan as well so she helped Miku and I when we were trying to dispose what's left of the cosplayer
Sae: That's something I would do
Mio: o.O (walks away from Sae)
Risa: Err…anyways, we're here to give you guys some presents from the reviewers!
Riku: (half dead) (twitching on the ground)
Miku: insert Sae's laugh
Sae: She took my laugh!! DIE!! (attacks Miku)
Miku: Huh? O.o gets attacked by Sae
Risa: Err…anyways…Miku gets a new outfit from White Mage 12! (holds up a bag of clothes)
Mafuyu: I'll hold onto that for her…(takes the bag from Risa)
Yae: Are you trying to save that little bag of clothes for your greedy little self? -.-;
Kirie: He would never do such horrid thing!
Yae: Suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuure…
Mafuyu: -.-;
Risa: And also from White Mage 12, Mayu gets a lunch box! (gives Mayu a lunch box)
Mayu: A lunch box? (opens the lunch box) there's nothing in it? What good is a lunch box when there are no food in it?
Mio: This (throws the lunch box at Sae)
Sae: x.X
Miku: (crawls away from Sae due to her exhaustion) Crazy bitch…
Risa: Well, that's all the presents we got for you!
Itsuki: …that's it?
Risa: Yup
Itsuki: No one sent me ANYTHING?
Risa: Well…oh yea…there's this one small gift from the authoress!
Itsuki: Yesssss
Risa: It's for Mutsuki though…
Itsuki: …
Mutsuki: O.O; I actually got SOMETHING while my brother DIDN'T?!?! Wow…is this the end of the world?
Kirie: Who knows…
Risa: You got a pot lid (gives the pot lid to Mutsuki)
Mutsuki: (stares at the pot lid) …..what the hell?
Everyone else: (laughing their ass out on the floor)
Mutsuki: What the hell am I going to do with a POT LID?
Itsuki: It worked in Battle Royale! (laughs more)
Yae: True…but this isn't a survival horror movie
Mutsuki: Why not a gun? A cookie? OR EVEN A BLANKET?!?! Something USEFUL? ANYTHING useful? T-T
KBM: (pops out of nowhere) I like my men to suffer (disappears while dragging Risa and half dead Riku with her)
Everyone: …sadistic psychopath…
Chitose: Hey! She dropped her binder! (picks up KBM's binder)
Miku: O.O IT'S L'ARCENCIEL! (snatches the binder away)
Mafuyu: O.O Hyde! Hotness…
Kirie: They ARE hot…
Sae: Hey! There's a chibified versions of us in the back!
Everyone besides Yae and Ryozo: Awww! I look so cute!
Yae and Ryozo: Why aren't WE on the binder?
Mafuyu: I dunno…'cause you people suck maybe?
Yae: Don't address your great grandparents that way you fool!
Miku: Shut up! It's not like you did anything to deserve our respect you old hag!
Sae: Don't say that to my sister you ungrateful bitch!
Mafuyu: Don't you say that to my sister you ungrateful old bitch?
Ryozo: How dare you?! We our your ancestors you gay hobo!
Kirie: Don't be callin' mah man a hobo you fool! (snaps her fingers at Ryozo's face all ghetto-like)
Miku: Yea! Don't say that to my brother! (bitch-slaps Ryozo)
Yae: Have you no MANNERS?! (attacks Miku)
Mafuyu: Imooto-chan! (bashing Yae's head with Mutsuki's pot lid)
Mutsuki: But that's my pot lid…
Itsuki: I'll buy another one for you from ebay aniki…
Mutsuki: You're the best Itsuki
Chitose: Aww…brotherly love…what's incest? O.o;
Itsuki and Mutsuki: …
(the ever-so-happy-now-united family is now fighting in a dust cloud)
Tachibanas and the Amakuras: …
Mayu: I'm hungry…(eating a bark of wood that randomly appeared out of nowhere)
Mio: Onee-chan! That's unhealthy!
Mayu: Shut up! I'm eating! (eating more wood) Mmmm…cheese…
Tachibanas and Mio: o.O;;;;
KBM: And the second "chapter" ish done!
JL: You call this a chapter? You're gonna get sued!
KBM: At least my lawyer is a good lawyer…
JL: A lawyer who almost became you-(mouth is now duck taped by KBM) O.O
KBM: Not a word dear friend, not a word…muwahahahahahaha! More gifts are welcome! Thankies for those who reviewed! It would've been sad if I haven't gotten ANY reviews but some people actually liked it and reviewed! You people love me! You really love me! Thank you! Thank you very much! First, I'd like to thank God for such honour and-(gets hit by Tennis racquet) Please review… (unconscious) x.X
JL: (drags KBM away) Stupid Blue-berry muffins…I knew I shouldn't have given it to her…(mumble)(grumble)