Blah blah blah blah if Ragnarok was mine why would I waste time with fanfiction? I'd be working on it damnit! XD
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She was trapped in a haze of darkness.
It was worse than being blind, and the darkness cut at her skin when she tried to move. Worse, Fenris couldn't speak, couldn't scream, could not even whisper out an ounce of her fear or pain. A clamp made of bone covered her mouth, and barbed steely thread kept her lips sewn shut.
Her feet felt like two lead blocks, and her hands.. they were mangled beyond repair. There was naught left there but the bones that showed through the tattered remenants of her skin. They would not command any power here.
Where ever "here" was.
As far as the warlock could--or dare--determine she was trapped, floating in the center of a large dead and decrepit field.
And on the borders of the land..
--A huge gaping maw filled her mind, containing rows upon rows of double-edged razor teeth.. claws and talons of silver and steel.. wicked flaming eyes of molten gold...the smell of rotting and burning flesh --
Fenris curled up and winced at the pain in her hands and side. No.. make them go away... The warlock shook with fear as she tried to forget the horrible warden. No.. I am not going to give in.. I won't...
A whimper was trapped in Fenris' throat. The familiar, invisible hand clenched around her throat; reminding her that she was not to make a sound.
The warlock shut her eyes, though it made little difference in the lightless void she occupied. Finally the hand let her go and she tried to fill her lungs with oxygen. She collapsed to her knees, against the air and tried not to cry. Gods only knew what sort of horrors would be visited on her if she dared to shed tears. I want out! She put a hand to her throat, but sharply recoiled at the feel of her bones against her flesh.
Fenris couldn't help the tears that came then. She twisted in silent agony as her tears burned the side of her face--literally. Instead of water, tiny flames, perhaps no larger than a few grains of sand poured out of the warlock's eyes.
This place is Hel.. I must be dead.. Or if not.. I soon will be..Gods! Please.. get me out of here..Help me! Somebody...anybody..please..help me...
But the worst horrors were yet to come.
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Fenris was dead--to the outside world.
To the healers it merely appeared as though she were in a deep and dreamless sleep. However, there were signs that things were wrong. Several in fact.
The warlock had been sleeping far too long, and she wouldn't rouse even with the appeal of smelling salts and spells.
Also despite the efforts of Iris and the local priest, her wound refused to heal. Her skin was ice cold to the touch, though she perspired as though burning with fever.
Loki's intuition was correct. Hrist's lacky had placed a curse on Fenris.
Loki hadn't moved from the chair beside her bed, always staring avidly at her, holding her weak and pallid hand tightly in his grasp. He neither slept, nor ate, even when Iris brought him some food. "Loki, you'll make yourself sick if you keep going on like this!" She implored him, "Please, just eat something, take a nap, do anything! Loki.." The assasin answered her stoicly back, his eyes never leaving Fenris' face, "I realize what I am doing Iris, and I know both the capabilities of my body, and the consequences of pushing those limits." Iris threw up her hands in despair, and walked over to heal Fenris again. It had proven nessisary for the warlock's wound to be treated once every three or four hours, but the bleeding never quite stopped, and within a few hours the flesh that had been regenerated would melt away. At least Iris' temporary fixes ensured that the warlock would not die before proper help came. The cleric left, after changing her friend's bandage, though she did leave the plate of food she'd brought Loki. Iris went to the couch outside the room and rested, falling asleep within minutes. It was becoming dangerous for her to keep healing. She was starting to delve into her own life force.
Loki understood how taxing it was for her to continually have to heal the helpless woman that lay before him, and the added stress from merley being worried about her. The assasin would've gone to fetch the healer himself, but he couldn't bring himself to leave her side for even a moment. He bit his lip, the whole situation seemed hopeless. What if she never woke up? What if she never opened those eyes again?
He traced his thumb over her cold, unresponsive knuckles. He scarcley noticed that he had drawn blood from his lips. His mouth formed her name, silently calling her over and over. Don't die, he begged inwardly, if only I had come sooner, eliminated the enemey more quickly...Fenris...please...I...can't go on like this. Not without you, my life has been without meaning, without... love for so long. Please...don't...don't take that away! Don't go to the black and sunless lands! Don't leave me! Something dripped on his hand, startling him. He reached up and touched his cheek with quivering fingers. He drew them in front of his face to reveal wetness. Am.. I ...crying? And the assasin realized he was crying. Tears blurred his vision and made his eyes itch and burn. His voice was quiet and amazed as he spoke, "I'm...crying." There was a lull for a few moments, and then his chest swelled with too many supressed, unexplained, unexplainable emotions, and he was bent over the sleeping warlock's figure sobbing.
Do you see this Fenris? I cannot even remember the last time I shed tears, but now I shed them for you! Please...don't die... He stuffed one fist against his mouth, trying desperatley to quell the noise, should Iris not yet be asleep. He realized that he would not allow himself to show this much emotion unless he was alone, but...he wasn't alone, not really. Fenris was there and somewhere in the back of his mind he faintly realized that he never allowed himself to show emotion even when he was by himself. His chest shook with each shuddering breath and, not for the first time in recent months, he felt absolutley out of control. It was as if he was spiraling downwards into a deep abyss unable to command himself, or his surroundings.
Loki didn't care for the situation at all; he'd always, always, been able to do something to maintain perfect control. Did not his guild strive to preserve the balance and order of the world? It wasn't fair. It just wasn't fair that he should have worked so hard for so long to provide the world's balance, that his own world be shattered and destroyed. He sighed deeply and returned his gaze to Fenrir's face, as though he might will her eyes to open. He murrmurred aloud to himself, "I must have faith. She will waken once more, just a little time is all that's needed..." Time... And that was the last thing he remembered before closing his heavy, tired eyes.
When he opened them again it was dark outside, but in the room there were lamps brightly lit in the four corners, making the shadows flicker as the flames danced. Loki sat up and noticed a stiffness in his neck and back, he surmised he must have slumped over as he slept off his exhaustion. His hand was also still gripping Fenris'. He also noticed, as he rolled his neck, that Iris and Chaos were both present along with a stranger, who was washing his hands in a small porcelain basin. Loki blinked slowly then asked, "What happened..? How long was I asleep? Will she be allright?" The last question was touched by a note of urgency, belyng the calm, detatched outward front he tried to put up. The man, who was old and wizened smiled kindly and nodded,
"That's up to her. If her spirit and will to live be strong, she'll be allright youngster, I expect she'll be up any time now if it's so... I must say, that's quite a grip you go there, like steel, but you haven't injured her. Not human I say!" He gave a short bark-like laugh, not realizing the truth of his jest, "Anyhow, she special to you or something?" Loki didn't answer, too bewildered to speak, he stared blankly at the old man who shrugged, "Well I won't pry or anything, t'aint my business I suppose. Well, I'll return on the morrow. You take care of her now, youngin's." The man stowed away his things and left with a slight nod of his head.
As soon as the man was gone, Loki suddenly felt quite uncomfortable, he could practically read the thoughts of the cleric and the Rune knight. A reserved curiosity was etched into both their faces as they watched him in interest; Loki sat stiffly in his chair, his hands clutching the arms. Though he made no movement, he was inwardly squirming under their scrutinizing gazes. What did they want from him? An answer? An explination? Loki could hardly give one to himself, it would be impossible to try and explain things to another. On that note he flicked his eyes to Fenris, her cheeks had a more normal color to them instead of the pale sickly white they had been the last few days. He stared at her and wondered how on earth he was going to explain himself to her, explain himself to himself. To explain the feeling that his heart was going to be torn from his body and rent in two if she had perished... to explain his abject fascination with her, to expain all the pains and joys and sorrows he'd felt while watching those visions of her in the fire...it was all beyond comprehension and reason.
Fenris stirred, making a slight noise. Iris and Chaos were immediately at her side oppisite of the assasin. Loki suddenly felt as though his stomach were in the grip of iron, unrelenting claws. Fenris' eyes weakly fluttered open, but only just. Her voice was a weak scream, and tears ran down her face. She was shaking. Reaching for someone, something to hold onto. She clutched onto Iris' forearm. Iris gently carresed the warlock's forehead,
"Shhhh...Fenris it's okay.." Iris pressed a dripping spounge to the warlock's lips, "Suckle at it slowly." She commanded. Fenris drew in the water gratefully, becoming calmer under Iris' influence. In a few minutes she was calmed down sufficiantly to take in the room.
She saw the familiar spiky hair of Chaos.. and Iris' wide concerened eyes looking down on her. Strange how she felt no pain at it now.. she'd been expecting something but.. the nothingness she felt was so...odd. A relief in many ways, but almost sad and more than a little puzzling. Though perhaps experiencing that nightmarish world put things into perspective.
Then she noticed someone that drove all other thoughts from her mind. She sat up suddenly, dropping the spounge to her lap. She saw a raven-haired person, an ageless person, someone she had known so well. Someone she'd been secretly dreaming of for nights on end in her restless sleep.
Memories sparked as she meet his eyes and blazed into a bonfire that washed over her, draining her of her momentary strength. She slumped back against the headboard in disbelief, her mouth agape, unable to even speak his name. She dared not, what if he were only a phantom? What if he and his green, glass-like eyes dissapeared if she entreated him? Chaos silently tapped Iris on the shoulder, and the two left the room as quietly as they could. Fenris finally got ahold of her senses.
"You're...really here...then..?" Loki nodded looking solemn as ever. She tilted her head at him, her brain and body both beyond weary, "Why?" He blinked at her slowly, pursing his lips, as though not sure where to begin. He looked away from her, out the window into the night.
"I saw a vision," He started. "A very terrible vision.. concerning you that I couldn't allow to happen.." He turned back to look at her, "I wanted to see if I could change it." Fenris laid back down,
"..I see...and did you change it?" "I'm not sure," Loki said truthfully. Fenris smiled at that, which--to her--seemed like a miracle. Something about that smile prodded him, even though it wasn't meant to. He found himself speaking again, "I was afraid Fenris." She opened one eye and looked at him,
"Hmm?" He was whispering,
"I was afraid you were going to leave me...I was afraid you'd die." Fenris shivered,
"I thought I was dead, dead and gone to Hel." Her hand sought his and clenched it tightly. She was sitting up again. "I'm still don't know if I'm alive. Oh Gods, Loki--hold me! I don't think I can bear it if this is some cruel respite! Hold me and tell me it's over! Tell me that I'm alive!" By now Fenris had thrown her arms around Loki, desperate for reassurance. The assassin gripped her tightly, though wary of her wound. He invested all the authority he could in his voice,
"You. Are. Alive--Fenris. You are alive." He could feel a slight dampness on his shoulder, she was crying again. He wished she wouldn't. His eyes were stinging and threatening to spill over already as it was.
"It's over? It's really over?" The assassin didn't have the faintest idea what she was talking about, but he wasn't about to pursue the matter in her current state,
"Yes Fenris. It is over, you are here...and so am I." Fenris' grip only tightened. Loki didn't like it. It must've been a terrible ordeal to reduce her to this. Fenris was the strongest, most able woman he knew.
And it was his fault she was terrified and clinging to his shoulder. She pushed him away for a moment and ran her hands over her mouth and jaw, then she stared at her hands in disbelief.
"I'm really out..." She closed her eyes and embraced the assassin, still crying, but now laughing as well. Loki held her more gently this time,
"I think you should rest Fenris. You need to recover your strength." Fenris shuddered at the prospect,
"No! I don't want to sleep! I feel fine. I want out of this bed!" Loki shook his head,
"Fenris you have always been a terrible liar. You really should not bother. I will go so you can rest." He started to stand, but Fenris clung to his arm,
"No! Don't leave me again! Please...stay here..I.. I may have nightmares," She was rambling now, looking for any excuse to keep him there by her side. "I'm scared Loki." He seemed unsure,
"...You will be able to sleep? My presence will not upset you?"
"It's your absence that will upset me," she said emphatically. "Loki, please stay...I don't want you to leave me again. At least not yet. You might dissapear if you leave now...then I'd never see you again. So please, just stay with me? And don't leave us until I wake up?" Loki sat down,
"I had no intention of leaving you. I merely assumed my presence in the room would make it difficult to achieve sleep." Fenris felt her cheeks turning red,
"Oh." She slumped back down, letting him go, "Well what was I supposed to think? You were always dissapearing and appearing..." He brushed his lips over her knuckles in a courtly fashion.
"Rest now Fenris. I will watch over you. Fear no nightmares. I am here." Fenris relly wanted to stay awake, but she was so, so weary. Perhaps she would merely sleep and not dream at all. Her eyelids grew heavy and she tried to stifle a yawn,
"P-p--romise?" Loki nodded his eyes oddly bright,
"I promise. When you wake I will be right here." She mumbled something into her pillow that Loki, even with his superhuman hearing, could not understand. He touched her hair, "Sleep Fenris. Sleep."
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Loki was true to his word. He stayed by her side all through the night, and when she awoke, clawing and screaming, he held her till she was still. They sat together on the bed, and quite by accident Fenris fell asleep in his arms. Loki deemed it to be his duty not to disturb her and he remained that way even after morning's first light.
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NO this is NOT the end! x3 One maybe two more chapters to go! x33 Thanks all for being so im/patient x33