Chapter 4 Invisible in Your Eyes
"It hurts to smile everydaypretending everything's just okay."
Ginny awoke early this morning. It was six-thirty and the rest of the house was still asleep. She knew why; today was the day Harry and Hermione would come to stay with them before going back to Hogwarts. She would spend a whole week around Harry. Sure she had grown out of her little girl crush a year ago, but still a small part of her liked him. She loved him as a brother, but one tiny part saw him as more. It didn't matter anyway because Harry was smitten with Hermione. Both feelings were mutual when it came to them, although they still wouldn't admit it. Ron was too busy ignoring it instead of trying to accept it. If anyone asked him about then he would simply deny it, as if the very thought was repulsive.
Ginny got up and stood in front of her mirror. She had never really looked at her face before. She was always to busy looking at the bruises, willing them to go away. But this time she truly looked at her face. Her hair was not bushy and thick like it had been in her fourth and fifth year. And didn't hang straight and limp, like when she was younger. It was straight but had body. It curled slightly towards the end and stopped around the middle of her back. It wasn't as fiery or red as the rest of the Weasley's. It was lighter and she seemed to have natural highlights from all the work she had been doing outside over the summer. She looked at her face. It was no longer round and chubby, but slender and soft. Her lips were a soft pink color and her eyelashes had grown longer. Then she looked at her freckles. They weren't as visible anymore. You could still seem them across the bridge of her nose and some on her cheeks but they were lighter. Her face had changed and so had her body. She had a good figure the accented her just perfectly, but that didn't matter. It was hid under her lose jeans and long sleeve shirts. At Hogwarts it would be hid under her knee length skirt and baggy shirt. She sighed and walked down the hall towards the bathroom. "Its not like Harry would notice even if I wore clothes and make up that made me look good," Ginny thought.
As she turned on the water and began to undress she looked at the cuts on her arm. They always reminded her of they day she got her knife and the day she wasn't beaten. She had actually woke up happy that morning, for the first time that summer. She could tell Stephan was stressed and knew she would receive a beating that night but still couldn't help but be happy. She never cried anymore after he beat her. That was what the knife was for. She hadn't cut after every beating, just once last week and she hadn't felt the urge too badly after that. Before she stepped into the shower she thought, "As long as he doesn't notice anything, everything will be fine." And just like she hoped, no one would notice.
It was nine-thirty and Ginny was rushing down the stairs. Harry and Hermione would be here at ten and she hadn't even started breakfast! Hr mother usually cooked breakfast, but she had asked Ginny to since she would be tidying up Ron's room. She quickly started cooking some eggs and ham and got toast started. At ten Ginny had barely managed to finish breakfast when Harry came strolling into the kitchen.
"Hey, Gin," He said.
"Oh, hey Harry," she said with her back towards him, "Do you want some breakfast?"
She turned around and saw him reading the paper. He couldn't even answer Yes or No? "Well of course, not. He's too busy pretending I don't exist to say anything." Ginny sighed to herself and served him some food. "Mm, thanks." Was all he said before returning to the paper. Ginny walked over to the table and plopped down in a chair.
"So, harry," she said trying to make conversation, "How was your summer?"
"Same old, same old," He replied still not looking up, "Yours?"
"It was okay, kind of boring," she said. "Yeah right. It wasn't boring at all, it's the worst summer ever!" she thought to herself.
When he finally did look up at her it was with a blank expression. "Gin, do you know where everybody is?" He asked.
"Umm, Percy and Stephan are at the Ministry, Bill is at Gringotts, Charlie is back in Romania, Fred and George are at the joke shop, Mum is cleaning the house and I don't know where Ron is," She said. She shivered when she had said his name. She hated saying his name, but she couldn't call him "sir" in front of Harry.
"Thanks, and tell your mum that breakfast was delicious," He said grabbing the paper and leaving in search for Ron.
Ginny was pissed. He couldn't even bring himself to look at her and when he finally did he just stared like an idiot! Ginny hadn't been expecting a "You look really pretty" but maybe a "You look different" might have been nice. But no, he just sat there ignoring her like she was a brick wall. That was what she was, Ginny the Fucking Brick Wall! And then he goes as far as to tell her that her mother's food was delicious! What was it? Did everyone think her incapable of cooking a simple meal? She guessed so, besides she was just a brick wall ignored by everyone and everything. At that moment Hermione walked in the room and gave Ginny a big hug.
Ginny took in a sharp breath. Hermione's hug was a little too hard, especially against her bruises.
"Nice to see you, Gin. Do you know where Ron is, I haven't seen him yet," She said.
"Probably outside goofing off with that arrogant prat Harry," Ginny replied angrily.
"Oh, thanks," said Hermione ignoring Ginny's last comment and heading outside.
"Once again Ginny the Fucking Brick Wall," she had thought bitterly to herself. If this was how Harry and Hermione were going to act towards her-that is treating her like she was invisible-then it was going to be a long week.
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It was three P.M. and Ginny was sitting on her bed staring at her knife. She hadn't cut today, but staring at her knife had become a daily routine. It gave her a comfort, a comfort that reminded her that there was still hope left. Hope for a change and hope for a better life. At that moment there was a knock on the door. Ginny quickly shoved the knife under her pillow as Hermione walked in.
"Ginny, I wanted the chance to come talk to you since we didn't get the chance this morning," said Hermione seriously. Something about the way she had said that made Ginny frown. Did Hermione know something?
"Okay, what's up?" Ginny said with a questioning look.
"Well, how are you feeling? You seemed a little strained this morning and when I talked to Harry this morning he said that he felt some tension between you two. I just wanted to make sure everything was alright," she said. Hermione seemed nervous almost as if she didn't want to make Ginny upset.
Ginny was angry with Hermione. She didn't have time to deal with things like tension between her and Harry. Of course there was tension, he had completely ignored her! And of course she was strained; she had been strained all summer. She didn't want to deal with something so minor when she had other things on her hands.
"I'm fine, Hermione. Really, I'm fine, just tired is all," she said trying to keep the frustration out of her voice.
"Gin, what exactly are you tired of?" she asked. That was the last straw. Ginny couldn't take it anymore and blew up straight up in Hermione's face.
"You want to know what I'm tired of? I'm tired of being treated as the little girl who doesn't know anything! I'm tired of being of being the one who has to figure things out on her own because everyone thinks I'm too young or I'm too weak to handle it! I'm tired of being the one who is treated like she is a lost eleven year old who is still trapped in Tom's chamber! I'm tired of constantly being ignored by you, Harry, and Ron! I'm tired of you always trying to act the hero and save everyone from everything! But most of all I'm tired of being tired!" Ginny yelled furiously.
"Oh, I get. You still have a thing for Harry don't you? I knew it. This is what it's all about. Ginny, you have got to get over your little girl crush, it's time to move on, hun," Hermione said with a patient smile.
"You really don't get it do you Hermione? You're so smart when it comes to books but you can be such and idiot when it comes to reading people! This isn't about a little girl crush I had two years ago. And if you knew that, you would know I have grown up! I'm not the frightened eleven-year-old who hides in the corner anymore, Hermione! But you wouldn't know that because you just don't give-a-fuck!" Ginny said with a snarl and stormed out of the room.
It was seven o'clock and he still wasn't home. Ginny was still very angry with Hermione and had refused to talk to her, but at the moment she was too busy wondering where he was. She wasn't worried, but the only reason she was sitting on the couch was being she had a feeling. There was a pit in the bottom of her stomach. She always got this feeling when something was wrong, and something was very wrong. At seven thirty he walked into the house with a smile on his face. Ginny was shocked. Usually she saw frustration and stress written all over his. Today she saw a true genuine smile; he was happy for some reason. But that reason, whatever it was, made her sick.
Ginny was still so confused. She couldn't understand what had made him so happy. Sure he had beaten her just like the other nights, but tonight's had been different. He had kicked her twice and then left. And they weren't his fierce whole-hearted kicks like usual. They felt half-hearted and weak like he wasn't in the mood for it but did it anyway just to make everything appear normal. He didn't even end with his normal routine of telling her how beautiful she was. Something was very wrong and Ginny could not put her finger on it.
And Ginny was right something was very wrong. Something her and the rest of her family would never expect. And this was the something that would make her even more invisible in the eyes of others.
A/N: whew! Long chapter here. Sorry it starts off kind of slow but hopefully it started to get more interesting as the chapter went on. I hope my description of how Ginny had changed was okay, it was the best I could do for the time being. Well anyone got guesses on what this "something" is? Well that's all in the next chapter. ;